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    (Original post by mathperson)
    Thankyou for the support.

    I was origionally diagnosed with depression about 1 year ago now and things have just gone from bad to worse. No help from uni', very little help/understanding from parents. Tried to get help with a local asperger's support orginisation and saw a counsellor when I started to feel suicidal (about 8 months ago I started to feel suicidal, you must have seen my threads). Took an overdose on 16th November 2009 and to be honest there has not been one moment...not one...when I've thought 'I'm glad that didn't work', infact ever since waking up in hospital I have always wished it had worked, and still do . Tears are running down my cheeks as I write this. Things have gone from bad to worse, less support and more depression, even after the 1st overdose. I went out last night and walked for 4 hours along the beach and just sat for about an hour and took some tablets. My family found me and took me to A+E. I just feel like I'm, I don't know how to explain...empty? Nothing left where I can try to overcome depression? Nowhere else I can begin to find happiness? I don't know.

    If My overdose in November 2009 had worked, as I constantly wish it did, I would be 'at peace' now, no worries, no hassles, no things on my mind. Ever since waking up in hospital, at the end of each day, I have thought "If only it worked", and not one day has been an exception.
    :hugs: I'm sorry to hear you took another overdose, if you want to talk over anything privately then feel free to pm me. I was wondering, did you contact the people we spoke about via pm and did they suggest anything to you? I'm going to say that I do agree with steffi.alexa here, I know things look really really black right now but if you look at figures the vast majority of people with depression do get out of it. I know it feels like there is no end, I often think that myself, but stuff can get better. Are you seeing a psychiatrist or are in contact with your local crisis team or a cpn? There is more support available to you in all probability but the NHS is generally pretty rubbish at offering that so often you do need to push to get it. Give that a try.
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    I can't go to college tomorrow. I can't.

    But I can't not go.

    Oh god.

    I just want to curl up in a ball and cry
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    In A+E last night after a overdose, though much smaller than my last one, I'm really not in a good 'place' at the moment. sigh*
    Aww, that's pretty sad to hear . You do seem like a good person as well, all the conversations we've had and the advice you've given me. I really hope you can feel better soon, take care :console:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I can't go to college tomorrow. I can't.

    But I can't not go.

    Oh god.

    I just want to curl up in a ball and cry
    Do you want to talk about what's going on? :hugs:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I can't go to college tomorrow. I can't.

    But I can't not go.

    Oh god.

    I just want to curl up in a ball and cry
    :console: Sorry to hear that. I know how you feel, I can't stand school at the moment, does my head in, lol. Perhaps you'll feel better in the morning, after a good night's sleep? Though, saying that, I really should be sleeping myself right now. Goodnight, and have a good day tomorrow :moon:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Do you want to talk about what's going on? :hugs:
    I just want to sleep, I haven't sleep properly/without taking some Kalms beforehand in about 16 days, this is doing my head in.

    My Dad goes to Afghanistan next Monday. I have to tell my ***** dragon tutor that I won't be in next Monday/Tuesday and whenever I think about it let alone talk about it I can't stop myself from crying.

    I haven't done ANY work over the holiday, I have three assignments due in tomorrow, all untouched. I'm meeting with people in my psychology research group tomorrow afternoon to go over some work that's due in for Tuesday and I've let them down because I haven't done any of that too.

    I've been pigging out like a fat cow over the last three days and I can't stop eating. I'm hungry right now. I had a massive dinner at 3pm, then sweets in the cinema, then a sandwich with lots of cheese and fattening crap in it at about 9, and then about an hour ago some more sweets cos I'm tired. I just don't feel full atm.

    From now until September and moving into Bangor is almost exactly 5 months... But it feels like 5 years away. From the beginning of December til now is almost the same length of time; and yet it feels like it was only a few weeks ago.

    I don't like the summer either. Bah. ******* great big wasps and bees and ****.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I just want to sleep, I haven't sleep properly/without taking some Kalms beforehand in about 16 days, this is doing my head in.

    My Dad goes to Afghanistan next Monday. I have to tell my ***** dragon tutor that I won't be in next Monday/Tuesday and whenever I think about it let alone talk about it I can't stop myself from crying.

    I haven't done ANY work over the holiday, I have three assignments due in tomorrow, all untouched. I'm meeting with people in my psychology research group tomorrow afternoon to go over some work that's due in for Tuesday and I've let them down because I haven't done any of that too.

    I've been pigging out like a fat cow over the last three days and I can't stop eating. I'm hungry right now. I had a massive dinner at 3pm, then sweets in the cinema, then a sandwich with lots of cheese and fattening crap in it at about 9, and then about an hour ago some more sweets cos I'm tired. I just don't feel full atm.

    From now until September and moving into Bangor is almost exactly 5 months... But it feels like 5 years away. From the beginning of December til now is almost the same length of time; and yet it feels like it was only a few weeks ago.

    I don't like the summer either. Bah. ******* great big wasps and bees and ****.
    :console: that's a lot to have on your plate. I can't imagine how worrying it must feel for you to have your dad going to Afghanistan. I know this probably won't help but there are a lot of guys out there right now, they're all trained well and watching each others backs and I dunno I guess you just have to really hope that everything will be fine. I understand it must be really horrible for you though. Regarding your tutor, could you call the college receptionist and ask her to pass the message on?

    tbh right now work is probably the last thing on your mind so it's understandable about the assignments. Wouldn't this count as extenuating circumstances possibly?

    Do you know why you don't feel full? You could try snacking on fresh or dried fruit instead of unhealthy stuff. Or just drink loads of water or tea which gives you something in your mouth without the calories.

    Are you worried about going to university or is it just that it seems so long away? I dunno but could you get a job over the summer? I did that one summer and it made the time go a lot faster. Or if not a job you could volunteer somewhere maybe.
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    Thankyou for the support.

    I was origionally diagnosed with depression about 1 year ago now and things have just gone from bad to worse. No help from uni', very little help/understanding from parents. Tried to get help with a local asperger's support orginisation and saw a counsellor when I started to feel suicidal (about 8 months ago I started to feel suicidal, you must have seen my threads). Took an overdose on 16th November 2009 and to be honest there has not been one moment...not one...when I've thought 'I'm glad that didn't work', infact ever since waking up in hospital I have always wished it had worked, and still do . Tears are running down my cheeks as I write this. Things have gone from bad to worse, less support and more depression, even after the 1st overdose. I went out last night and walked for 4 hours along the beach and just sat for about an hour and took some tablets. My family found me and took me to A+E. I just feel like I'm, I don't know how to explain...empty? Nothing left where I can try to overcome depression? Nowhere else I can begin to find happiness? I don't know.

    If My overdose in November 2009 had worked, as I constantly wish it did, I would be 'at peace' now, no worries, no hassles, no things on my mind. Ever since waking up in hospital, at the end of each day, I have thought "If only it worked", and not one day has been an exception.
    Is there a particular reason you feel this way? is there something you see/do that triggers these thoughts?
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    (Original post by 4TSR)
    Is there a particular reason you feel this way? is there something you see/do that triggers these thoughts?
    Just one thing after the other...again, again and again. I'm sorry but I can think of many ways I can explain how I feel using methaphors, however a title of one of my suicide threads I think is best "I'm dead, but just havn't made it official yet".
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    In A+E last night after a overdose, though much smaller than my last one, I'm really not in a good 'place' at the moment. sigh*
    aww :console:, things might look dark now, but life has a lot to offer and you will feel better eventually. You could try seeing a councellor or find someone to talk to.

    Today hasn't been too bad. Initially felt terrible being back at school, couldnt concentrate, low self esteem as usual, and found it hard to smile even and had a terrible headache. Anyway Must-do-more-revision!
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    I think having a normal sleep cycle has made me better now. Most nights I spent staring into the mirror feeling sorry for myself. I don't know why things are different now because all I'm doing is the same thing but with it being light out my window

    Ahh well..maybe I can talk to that girl I like this week if i stay in a good mood
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    (Original post by CertifiedAngel)
    aww :console:, things might look dark now, but life has a lot to offer and you will feel better eventually. You could try seeing a councellor or find someone to talk to.

    Today hasn't been too bad. Initially felt terrible being back at school, couldnt concentrate, low self esteem as usual, and found it hard to smile even and had a terrible headache. Anyway Must-do-more-revision!
    This, but I'm sat here binging on biscuits wanting to go to sleep and never wake up. I am such a ******* failure. Why do I always do this?
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    (Original post by mathperson)
    Just one thing after the other...again, again and again. I'm sorry but I can think of many ways I can explain how I feel using methaphors, however a title of one of my suicide threads I think is best "I'm dead, but just havn't made it official yet".
    This is really sad! I wish I could help - is there anything you've done in your past that made you smile? anything that happened that made you forget your worries? one time I was feeling so low and decided to go out for a walk and go on the swings and listen to the birds.... made me feel so much better - just nice and quiet - clean fresh air. There must be some sort of positive trigger in your life that makes you forget your worries?
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    Feel really awful. 200 words written in about 2 hours and what I've written is total ****. It's impossible to think on any kind of decent level. Also keep crying, I'm trying so hard not to and totally failing.
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    Im so sick of all this commuting I'm scared of failing again even though it is fairly easy. And I hate how everyone is seeing someone and not me. And that the boy I like is taken.
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    (Original post by Botticello)
    Im so sick of all this commuting I'm scared of failing again even though it is fairly easy. And I hate how everyone is seeing someone and not me. And that the boy I like is taken.
    :jumphug: I can empathise here I've felt like this for ages now, worse so when ALL your mates are in one..best advice I can offer is wait..and trust me I am aware that it's shitty advice because it's been used on me plenty of times :o: I couldn't even go up to speak to a girl I like because I lack confidence..ergo being single forever :bawling:

    I'm sure you'll be fine :yep: I just try and distract myself...it doesn't solve the problem but at least I'm not thinking about it :yep:
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    (Original post by 4TSR)
    This is really sad! I wish I could help - is there anything you've done in your past that made you smile? anything that happened that made you forget your worries? one time I was feeling so low and decided to go out for a walk and go on the swings and listen to the birds.... made me feel so much better - just nice and quiet - clean fresh air. There must be some sort of positive trigger in your life that makes you forget your worries?
    Well I'm doing a gliding course at the moment (taking time off of uni', doing maths) and I really enjoy it but I can't get the same joy out of everything.

    Just, I don't know what to say or do anymore to make things better...:cry2:
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    (Original post by SharpDressedMan)
    :jumphug: I can empathise here I've felt like this for ages now, worse so when ALL your mates are in one..best advice I can offer is wait..and trust me I am aware that it's shitty advice because it's been used on me plenty of times :o: I couldn't even go up to speak to a girl I like because I lack confidence..ergo being single forever :bawling:

    I'm sure you'll be fine :yep: I just try and distract myself...it doesn't solve the problem but at least I'm not thinking about it :yep:
    :hugs: Thanks for the sympathy. Its not that bad advice, it just the truth really, bar being promiscuous which not a good lifestyle mentally or physically (but I have to admit its tempting, cause being still a virgin has been getting to me a lot recently) I suppose it'll happen eventually.
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    (Original post by Botticello)
    :hugs: Thanks for the sympathy. Its not that bad advice, it just the truth really, bar being promiscuous which not a good lifestyle mentally or physically (but I have to admit its tempting, cause being still a virgin has been getting to me a lot recently) I suppose it'll happen eventually.
    Ahh you're a virgin too. Well we're definitely in the same boat then :yep:

    Honestly..when I get depressed and lonely the thought of eventually being with someone I deem special makes me happy that I have that to look forward to :yep:

    Don't lost it randomly. All of my girl and guy friends that didn't lose it in a relationship regret it :yep: And I don't like to 'take sides' but trust me, it's worse to be a male virgin at this age.
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    (Original post by Botticello)
    :hugs: Thanks for the sympathy. Its not that bad advice, it just the truth really, bar being promiscuous which not a good lifestyle mentally or physically (but I have to admit its tempting, cause being still a virgin has been getting to me a lot recently) I suppose it'll happen eventually.
    I've spoken to a few people on here who are 'concerned' that they havn't had sex yet. Could I ask why you are? I mean who's business is it if you've had sex. Will it make any difference to you or anyone else if you had? I'm a virgin and 20 years old, I couldn't care less and I don't particularly want to be in a relationship at this point in time and frankly could not care if I never have sex. People treat it as a big thing these days and it really isn't.
 
 
 
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