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    (Original post by jonathan122)
    :hugs:
    thanks, jonathan. I haven't seen you around in a while, how are you?

    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs:

    It's something, which is always better than nothing. If it makes you feel better, I've written about 10 words today and that's simply copying out of a textbook.
    It's assessed, due tuesday and need over 4000 words more. Just can't think at all, I read my notes 20 times and I just get individual thoughts about it but finding it so hard join them together so writing is impossible.

    3hours: 570 words.

    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I feel so alone... It's my fault - I isolated myself because I didn't want to deal with 'friendship' and certain 'friends' have proven that I can't trust them. No, I'm not being paranoid, some of them have proven that they do not care for me, my health or my happiness time and time again, yet I've always done all I can to help them... Is it too much to ask for just one person to actually be my friend and actually give a damn?

    Is it odd if I say I want to 'break myself' right now - I'm not even sure what I mean, but...
    In my experience most people are complete scum. They don't give a **** about you no matter what you do for them, so I wouldn't blame yourself because there are always jerks around and it isn't a reflection on you. That isn't to say that there aren't people in the world who will actually act like proper friends, but they're kind of hard to find. But yeah, don't blame yourself. Aren't you going to university soon? You go from a school with maybe a few hundred people to a university with thousands so there is a much higher chance of meeting people who are actually decent. Sorry, probably haven't really helped here at all.

    I can sympathise with the "break myself" feeling. :console:
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    (Original post by SharpDressedMan)
    I'm seeing a doctor about my depression on Tuesday I'm scared I'm gonna get badly judged 'cos I'm only depressed down to petty things

    I was seeing another doctor for a while and he just told me to 'get a grip'...:bawling:

    Are all doctors like this?
    First time I saw a doctor about my depression last year, he pretty much told me to get a grip too :nothing:. That didn't really work though, so I'm gonna see another doctor this week, hopefully they'll give me some medication, I feel like I need it, especially for exam time. I know what you mean about feeling silly for being depressed cos of petty things, that's exactly how I feel myself. Getting bullied in the past and failing at certain things, as well as bad cases of jealousy, are the main things that have gotten me so badly down this past year or so, even though I think I should be able to just get on with things like other people, but it's often so hard. But I did some research and found that people can get depressed about anything, as often it's a biological thing, so don't worry about being judged by the doctor, you know you have problems and so he should be able to just listen and help you how he can. Good luck. :hugs:
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    You guys should see the GP I saw... She was lovely, really helpful and she listened to everything I said. I feel really guilty that I never followed up the help she offered :sad:

    I've got a job offer - well, a trial shift, at a pub... Trouble is, I think they want about 20 hours a week whilst I'm still at college, which seems so many! But it would help the time pass, probably force me into a sleeping pattern and leave me with a bloody nice pay cheque at the end of the summer. :/
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    You guys should see the GP I saw... She was lovely, really helpful and she listened to everything I said. I feel really guilty that I never followed up the help she offered :sad:

    I've got a job offer - well, a trial shift, at a pub... Trouble is, I think they want about 20 hours a week whilst I'm still at college, which seems so many! But it would help the time pass, probably force me into a sleeping pattern and leave me with a bloody nice pay cheque at the end of the summer. :/
    What did the GP offer?
    I'm really scared about seeing my GP tomorrow. I want so much for it to help but doubt it actually will.

    I feel like an unhappy zombie today.
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    What did the GP offer?
    I'm really scared about seeing my GP tomorrow. I want so much for it to help but doubt it actually will.

    I feel like an unhappy zombie today.
    She offered and referred me to counselling, she was open to the idea of meds but I said I didn't want any. I got a phone call from them which I was meant to follow up and I didn't.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    She offered and referred me to counselling, she was open to the idea of meds but I said I didn't want any. I got a phone call from them which I was meant to follow up and I didn't.
    Ah. I'm sure you can still follow it up if you think you want to.

    I hate this so much. I feel half dead.
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    Ah. I'm sure you can still follow it up if you think you want to.

    I hate this so much. I feel half dead.
    Well, I went in October, so it's a bit late now! :o:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    You guys should see the GP I saw... She was lovely, really helpful and she listened to everything I said. I feel really guilty that I never followed up the help she offered :sad:

    I've got a job offer - well, a trial shift, at a pub... Trouble is, I think they want about 20 hours a week whilst I'm still at college, which seems so many! But it would help the time pass, probably force me into a sleeping pattern and leave me with a bloody nice pay cheque at the end of the summer. :/
    I think you should try out the job. 20 hours is a lot, but think of all the money and work experience you will get. And you may meet some nice people there.
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    Anyone else feel that life is just this constant, exhausting battle to try and be happy? Sometimes you're there, and it's fantastic, others times you're not, and it's just difficult.

    I'm curious. Hearing about what other people feel causes their depression I think would make me feel more normal and a little bit more relaxed, as in, it would validate the reasons I feel the way I do. I don't feel depressed at the minute, but I do feel quite grim and lethargic. I've been depressed on and off before and it's just incredibly painful. I feel for me it derives from being lonely. The times when I'm happy and feel ambitious and connected to the world are those times when I have friends I see regularly and feel connected too. In the absence of that, I question who I am and whether or not I'm worth anything. I feel personally defeated, as if my chracter is not good enough, and those thoughts combined with the loneliness drives me insane.

    What about other people? I know there's different types of depression, so for those who believe there is a circumstantial cause that has led to it (rather then hormone imbalances), care to tell me about it?

    Hmmm, that's made me feel a little better writing it down
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    thanks, jonathan. I haven't seen you around in a while, how are you?
    I'm ok thanks Saber, how are you feeling today?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I feel so alone... It's my fault - I isolated myself because I didn't want to deal with 'friendship' and certain 'friends' have proven that I can't trust them. No, I'm not being paranoid, some of them have proven that they do not care for me, my health or my happiness time and time again, yet I've always done all I can to help them... Is it too much to ask for just one person to actually be my friend and actually give a damn?

    Is it odd if I say I want to 'break myself' right now - I'm not even sure what I mean, but...
    It's not your fault. If you can't trust some of your friends, that is no reflection on you. Some people just don't know or have it in them to be trustworthy, we're all raised differently with different values, after all. Have abit of faith in the world and some of the people out there though. You are entirely capable of being cared for, and at some point you'll find people that prove to you that, and stick by you.
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    (Original post by allieRAWR!)
    Anyone else feel that life is just this constant, exhausting battle to try and be happy? Sometimes you're there, and it's fantastic, others times you're not, and it's just difficult.

    I'm curious. Hearing about what other people feel causes their depression I think would make me feel more normal and a little bit more relaxed, as in, it would validate the reasons I feel the way I do. I don't feel depressed at the minute, but I do feel quite grim and lethargic. I've been depressed on and off before and it's just incredibly painful. I feel for me it derives from being lonely. The times when I'm happy and feel ambitious and connected to the world are those times when I have friends I see regularly and feel connected too. In the absence of that, I question who I am and whether or not I'm worth anything. I feel personally defeated, as if my chracter is not good enough, and those thoughts combined with the loneliness drives me insane.

    What about other people? I know there's different types of depression, so for those who believe there is a circumstantial cause that has led to it (rather then hormone imbalances), care to tell me about it?

    Hmmm, that's made me feel a little better writing it down

    Yeah, I used to feel like that, but i rarely get to feel properly happy these days, I just feel not unhappy if that makes any sense at all!

    I have no idea what causes my depression. I've never really thought about reasons why I feel like this actually, just kind of accepted that this is how i am.
    I was always kind of unhappy growing up, and then had problems with eating for a while in my early teens, kinda got sorted out, then a terrible break up sent me over the edge and I went back to feeling like **** and then I used food as a way to control something in my life, just spiralled downhill from there. This was about 2 years ago. I got better after a while with help from friends, but then gradually things have been getting worse again. When i get really low i shut people out and because of this I have lost all of my close friends, except my bf. I just have people I see occasionally out and about and will say a casual 'hi' to.
    It used to go from days of being extremely positive to days of being extremely negative. Then the positive days got very few and far between. But I suppose the really negative days have gone now. Everything is just kind of meh. Still lost my motivation to do stuff, some days my mind wants to, but my body physically doesnt have the energy to. And the days when I have energy my mind just wants to rest. :sad:

    It doesnt seem circumstantial as nothing really set it off, but its strange to think of it as a hormone imbalance
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    Friends just aren't worth it.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Friends just aren't worth it.
    Do you not feel that leaves a void in you though?
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    (Original post by allieRAWR!)
    Do you not feel that leaves a void in you though?
    I'm used to the empty feeling... To be honest, at the moment there is one person who's not complicating things in my life unnecessarily, and (this is a harsh, horrible thing to say, because I love this girl) she's not always been my best mate... She's fast becoming a better friend than I though she could ever be though.

    Without friends, I don't get hurt, they don't get hurt, surely that's win win?
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I'm used to the empty feeling... To be honest, at the moment there is one person who's not complicating things in my life unnecessarily, and (this is a harsh, horrible thing to say, because I love this girl) she's not always been my best mate... She's fast becoming a better friend than I though she could ever be though.

    Without friends, I don't get hurt, they don't get hurt, surely that's win win?
    N/a
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    (Original post by allieRAWR!)
    I personally just feel as though I need friends to validate me. Or perhaps it's an intimacy thing....friends make me feel loved and cared for. I hate having too much time on my hand and no one to spend it with. The loneliness I just find incredibly painful. Personally, the friends I've had have never thoroughly hurt me. Perhaps not been as loyal as I'd like, but never backstabbing type of thing.
    Mine just seem to have little to no regard of how I feel or why I act like I do. I don't really want to get into it right now but over this weekend, a few of my friends have burnt me really badly and none of them seem the slightest bit sorry about it. I used to think that I need friends to be who I am; I've realised over this weekend that I can't trust anyone but myself :dontknow:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Mine just seem to have little to no regard of how I feel or why I act like I do. I don't really want to get into it right now but over this weekend, a few of my friends have burnt me really badly and none of them seem the slightest bit sorry about it. I used to think that I need friends to be who I am; I've realised over this weekend that I can't trust anyone but myself :dontknow:
    Heh, no problems, I'm not meaning to pry. I am sorry to hear that though. I really hope that things resolve themselves in the upcoming few days and your friends prove their friendship. I know how it feels to be let down, it does suck.
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    (Original post by allieRAWR!)
    Heh, no problems, I'm not meaning to pry. I am sorry to hear that though. I really hope that things resolve themselves in the upcoming few days and your friends prove their friendship. I know how it feels to be let down, it does suck.
    Nah, it's ok, I said it mainly because I wanted sleep... unfortunately, that seems to be as elusive as ever.

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...postcount=5135 is pretty much the main friendship stress, even though in the end the protest was pretty pointless, he then posted a smart arse status directed at me about how people are stupid for believing media hype all the time. I've been avoiding him and according to his close mate, when heard this, he called me a female dog. Saw him when I was out briefly earlier and he's ignoring me; I'm ignoring him.

    There's another few friends who are just being ***** at this moment in time for different reasons... not what I need.
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    Shiiiiiiiiiit First doctors appointment in half an hour and I'm dead scared I'm worried I either won't say much or not look as sad as I do when I'm normally down :bawling:
 
 
 
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