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    :'( ahh the past few days have been particularly bad . I hate how im always incredibly self concious and have low self esteem, argh i just hate myself so much. I hate feeling like this, havent felt this bad in a while though last year was even worse. argh should probably get some sleep!
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    (Original post by CertifiedAngel)
    :'( ahh the past few days have been particularly bad . I hate how im always incredibly self concious and have low self esteem, argh i just hate myself so much. I hate feeling like this, havent felt this bad in a while though last year was even worse. argh should probably get some sleep!
    Sounds similar to how im feeling

    I'm sleeping most of the time now, I get worked up so easily i just cant cope and so i go to sleep so i dont have to think about stuff.

    :hugs:
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    Can not be bothered with exams, seriously. I don't want to live at home for another year, but I just can't do this and I don't care.
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    (Original post by emmalou098)
    Sounds similar to how im feeling

    I'm sleeping most of the time now, I get worked up so easily i just cant cope and so i go to sleep so i dont have to think about stuff.

    :hugs:
    :hugs: thanx I try to go out as much as i can because i hate being at home on my own but at the same time I know ill feel even worse aftwards.argh and it takes me absolute ages to get to sleep. I actually thought I was getting better ah well guess I have to keep trying to be positive.
    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Can not be bothered with exams, seriously. I don't want to live at home for another year, but I just can't do this and I don't care.
    Me too! The thought of not getting my grades scares me so much if i dont get the grades i dont know what i will do I just want to get away
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    Finally started on Zyprexa (Olanzapine) for my psychotic symptoms, other than turning me into a zombie for the past 48 hours it hasn't done much yet (although it is nice to finally get some sleep). Definitely feels different taking an antipsychotic as opposed to an antidepressant. Ah well, just have to live with it I guess. The doctors seem to think that because it has mood stabilising properties it may also help with my depression too. Time will tell I guess.

    Hope everyone else is doing better.
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    First exam on monday and I am actually bricking it, no way am I prepared and I cannot motivate myself - does anyone have any advice for when you're in this situation?
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    Oh God. Did something very stupid last night :cry:
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    I'm so demotivated. I don't want to study or do anything, I just want to sleep...

    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Oh God. Did something very stupid last night :cry:
    What's up?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I'm so demotivated. I don't want to study or do anything, I just want to sleep...



    What's up?
    Went back to some random guys house... he was nice enough, friendly and didn't pressure me or anything, but I think I just lost all respect for myself. I'm not one of those girls who can do one night stands or w/e and although very little happened (all that did, was consented) I just thought I had more sense than that. Sigh.

    Self harm urges are coming back in full force today as well Got some work to do for tomorrow which I had totally forgotten about, so I'm gonna do my fitness DVD and then crack on with it, should help.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Went back to some random guys house... he was nice enough, friendly and didn't pressure me or anything, but I think I just lost all respect for myself. I'm not one of those girls who can do one night stands or w/e and although very little happened (all that did, was consented) I just thought I had more sense than that. Sigh.

    Self harm urges are coming back in full force today as well Got some work to do for tomorrow which I had totally forgotten about, so I'm gonna do my fitness DVD and then crack on with it, should help.
    :hugs: All that matters is that you are okay and that anything you did do was consensual and safe. Everyone does things that they regret, but dwelling on them doesn't make them go away, just try to forget it and move on. No one is exempt from slip ups, no one goes through life without embarrassing themselves or letting themselves slip in their own estimations of themselves.

    Try to resit the urges and distract yourself with something else. :console:
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    Been thoroughly depressed for the last 4 years.

    Anti-depressants do nothing really.



    Eh..
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    (Original post by fire2burn)
    Finally started on Zyprexa (Olanzapine) for my psychotic symptoms, other than turning me into a zombie for the past 48 hours it hasn't done much yet (although it is nice to finally get some sleep). Definitely feels different taking an antipsychotic as opposed to an antidepressant. Ah well, just have to live with it I guess. The doctors seem to think that because it has mood stabilising properties it may also help with my depression too. Time will tell I guess.

    Hope everyone else is doing better.
    Good luck with that. Olanzapine was the first one I tried, and yeah I agree totally zombified me and also put on loads of weight. Hope it works out for you.


    (Original post by OceanInTheSky)
    Been thoroughly depressed for the last 4 years.

    Anti-depressants do nothing really.



    Eh..
    Know the feeling. Have you asked your gp/psychiatrist/whoever for something other than drugs?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Good luck with that. Olanzapine was the first one I tried, and yeah I agree totally zombified me and also put on loads of weight. Hope it works out for you.




    Know the feeling. Have you asked your gp/psychiatrist/whoever for something other than drugs?
    No, the doctor doesn't really know I';m depressed, I'm on the anti-depressants for panic attacks.
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    (Original post by OceanInTheSky)
    No, the doctor doesn't really know I';m depressed, I'm on the anti-depressants for panic attacks.
    Maybe an idea to tell them how you feel? They might be able to help. I thought the effective dose of anti-depressants was higher for treating depression than panic attacks so you could give that a try (don't quote me on that though, I vaguely remember reading it but dunno if I remember right).




    Was crying earlier, thinking about suicide a lot but went for a run and, apart from my throat and ears now killing me, actually feel a fair bit better. Wow. :woo:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Maybe an idea to tell them how you feel? They might be able to help. I thought the effective dose of anti-depressants was higher for treating depression than panic attacks so you could give that a try (don't quote me on that though, I vaguely remember reading it but dunno if I remember right).




    Was crying earlier, thinking about suicide a lot but went for a run and, apart from my throat and ears now killing me, actually feel a fair bit better. Wow. :woo:
    Yeah, I've been thinking about it more again lately. I sometimes think (as I put in my suicide threads) that humans are complicated machines, and I don't think I'm wrong actually. I mean of course we are abit more complicated than a computer, but that is it I think, is there really anything special about things we refer to as 'living'? If not, why is dying more significant than turning off a complicated computer?
    I also find it hard to judge how people would react to a death by suicide rather than 'natural causes'?
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    I've got way too much to think about to sleep... Shame I'm a) knackered and b) getting a cold. I feel physically tired, but mentally so awake :/
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I've got way too much to think about to sleep... Shame I'm a) knackered and b) getting a cold. I feel physically tired, but mentally so awake :/
    You should try to sleep. If you've got a lot to think about you'll probably think about it better with a clear head.


    (Original post by mathperson)
    Yeah, I've been thinking about it more again lately. I sometimes think (as I put in my suicide threads) that humans are complicated machines, and I don't think I'm wrong actually. I mean of course we are abit more complicated than a computer, but that is it I think, is there really anything special about things we refer to as 'living'? If not, why is dying more significant than turning off a complicated computer?
    I also find it hard to judge how people would react to a death by suicide rather than 'natural causes'?
    Well, for one thing humans have relationships. Boy/girlfriends, friends, family etc if you switch off a complicated computer the other complicated computers aren't going to miss it. I know staying alive so other people don't feel hurt is a **** argument though.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    You should try to sleep. If you've got a lot to think about you'll probably think about it better with a clear head.

    Well, for one thing humans have relationships. Boy/girlfriends, friends, family etc if you switch off a complicated computer the other complicated computers aren't going to miss it. I know staying alive so other people don't feel hurt is a **** argument though.
    Ta, I slept better last night than I normally do and woke up feeling very refreshed even though I got far less sleep than normal!

    Staying alive so you don't hurt other people is a **** argument but sometimes it's all you have. And it's not just people, my cats are a big sticking point for me. I've always maintained that if all of my family was wiped out right now, I would go with them... But then I thought that my two cats wouldn't have anyone and would just be abandoned :o: Hmm. I do muse about some strange things sometimes.
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    I'm so drunk and nothing is any better normally it helps but not this time goddamnit. I can't stop thinking about suicide all the time or at least cutting, it makes everything better even more than alcohol does. I'm like 98% sure I'm going to fail this year my assessed essay was a piece of **** and I haven't got a chance in the exams at all ,all the lecturers hate me because of extensions and non-attendence I havn't got a ******* chance I was ******* kidding myself thinknig I could do this **** WHAT THE **** WAS I ******* THINKING? I'm a ****** failure I always will be. psychologist and counsellor tomorrow I don't want to see eiter there's absolutely no point anymore I 've been trying for over 3 years it makes no difference ******* kidding myself that it would. I mean all the ******* time they don't shut the **** up and i'm just tired of it I can't even do what they say to shut them up don't want a criminal record for it but if I don't I';m stuck. there's only one thing and they'll go soon enough when they realize I'm not worth it. I hate this. I want out.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm so drunk and nothing is any better normally it helps but not this time goddamnit. I can't stop thinking about suicide all the time or at least cutting, it makes everything better even more than alcohol does. I'm like 98% sure I'm going to fail this year my assessed essay was a piece of **** and I haven't got a chance in the exams at all ,all the lecturers hate me because of extensions and non-attendence I havn't got a ******* chance I was ******* kidding myself thinknig I could do this **** WHAT THE **** WAS I ******* THINKING? I'm a ****** failure I always will be. psychologist and counsellor tomorrow I don't want to see eiter there's absolutely no point anymore I 've been trying for over 3 years it makes no difference ******* kidding myself that it would. I mean all the ******* time they don't shut the **** up and i'm just tired of it I can't even do what they say to shut them up don't want a criminal record for it but if I don't I';m stuck. there's only one thing and they'll go soon enough when they realize I'm not worth it. I hate this. I want out.
    :hugs:
 
 
 
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