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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm so drunk and nothing is any better normally it helps but not this time goddamnit. I can't stop thinking about suicide all the time or at least cutting, it makes everything better even more than alcohol does. I'm like 98% sure I'm going to fail this year my assessed essay was a piece of **** and I haven't got a chance in the exams at all ,all the lecturers hate me because of extensions and non-attendence I havn't got a ******* chance I was ******* kidding myself thinknig I could do this **** WHAT THE **** WAS I ******* THINKING? I'm a ****** failure I always will be. psychologist and counsellor tomorrow I don't want to see eiter there's absolutely no point anymore I 've been trying for over 3 years it makes no difference ******* kidding myself that it would. I mean all the ******* time they don't shut the **** up and i'm just tired of it I can't even do what they say to shut them up don't want a criminal record for it but if I don't I';m stuck. there's only one thing and they'll go soon enough when they realize I'm not worth it. I hate this. I want out.
    Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time :console:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm so drunk and nothing is any better normally it helps but not this time goddamnit. I can't stop thinking about suicide all the time or at least cutting, it makes everything better even more than alcohol does. I'm like 98% sure I'm going to fail this year my assessed essay was a piece of **** and I haven't got a chance in the exams at all ,all the lecturers hate me because of extensions and non-attendence I havn't got a ******* chance I was ******* kidding myself thinknig I could do this **** WHAT THE **** WAS I ******* THINKING? I'm a ****** failure I always will be. psychologist and counsellor tomorrow I don't want to see eiter there's absolutely no point anymore I 've been trying for over 3 years it makes no difference ******* kidding myself that it would. I mean all the ******* time they don't shut the **** up and i'm just tired of it I can't even do what they say to shut them up don't want a criminal record for it but if I don't I';m stuck. there's only one thing and they'll go soon enough when they realize I'm not worth it. I hate this. I want out.
    I hope you feel better soon :hugs:

    ---

    I've quit fluoxetine and started citalopram. Great, more side effects no doubt.
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    I feel awful... Don't want to go to college tomorrow. Just seems utterly pointless. I've got a cold coming and feel really run down atm, plus I had a massive dinner and feel all fat and heavy I'm going to bed now and don't really want to wake up in the morning :sad:
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    Got **** sleep last night.

    Burst into tears twice in school, self harmed in school, nearly had a panic attack and had an argument with a 'friend'. Ended up in the girls' loos in tears calling my Mum to pick me up (can't drive yet). **** all this, I'm fed up.

    I really want to go to uni, but don't think I'll get in. The unis don't know what's going on and I don't see that they'd care anyway. I'm going to miss my offers and that's going to make everything worse again.
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    I don't think I've ever felt this low or cried this much. I'm still on the verge of tears and have a massive headache. I really want to stop feeling like this, so I'm going to make another doctor's appointment and hopefully this time I'll be honest with them.
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    Just made another doctor's appointment, but I have to make it through until Monday before I can see them...

    I'm going to write a list of the things that I want to tell them, but never do so hopefully I can hand that to them if I can't say it. I really hate feeling like this, I want to work and do well in my exams and go to uni, but this is making it impossible.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Just made another doctor's appointment, but I have to make it through until Monday before I can see them...

    I'm going to write a list of the things that I want to tell them, but never do so hopefully I can hand that to them if I can't say it. I really hate feeling like this, I want to work and do well in my exams and go to uni, but this is making it impossible.
    :hugs: The list is a good idea... it's what I did.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    :hugs: The list is a good idea... it's what I did.
    Yeah, I've written it but I'm worried my Mum or someone will find it... I've been pretty honest about things.

    ---

    Great, on the verge of tears again.

    Also, I'm bored and reading H&R threads - anyone know the difference between mild/moderate/severe/whatever depression? Just wondering.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Yeah, I've written it but I'm worried my Mum or someone will find it... I've been pretty honest about things.

    ---

    Great, on the verge of tears again.

    Also, I'm bored and reading H&R threads - anyone know the difference between mild/moderate/severe/whatever depression? Just wondering.
    I think it's differentiated by the score you get on questionnaires they give you. When you see your GP he might get you to fill one out. Writing everything down is definitely a good idea, I did that and just handed him it as I'm **** at talking to people.



    Thanks for the hugs last night guys, feeling a little better today, psychologist was pretty helpful.
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    This thread is so depressing :sigh:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I think it's differentiated by the score you get on questionnaires they give you. When you see your GP he might get you to fill one out. Writing everything down is definitely a good idea, I did that and just handed him it as I'm **** at talking to people.



    Thanks for the hugs last night guys, feeling a little better today, psychologist was pretty helpful.
    Oh, I've had three of those (one on the NHS website, which they used in paper form for the other two), I only remember my second score though haha. TBH, it's a stupid questionnaire, I lied like there was no tomorrow on the first one (didn't want to be diagnosed with a third mental health condition in 20 minutes :rolleyes:).
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    I can't seem to get over this. I'm sure alot of you have seen my suicide posts a while ago now and I took an overdose in November last year. Since then I've got slightly better but even though I'm doing things to try to 'get better' like gliding, I can't seem to get myself out of depression. I mean, yes, things have gone quite wrong at home, fell out with my mum so obviously that doesn't help with things, but I just cannot seem to get myself out of this trough, however hard I seem to try.

    If you reply, please quote, thanks.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Also, I'm bored and reading H&R threads - anyone know the difference between mild/moderate/severe/whatever depression? Just wondering.
    As people have said, you can measure it from questionnaires and stuff, which you can usually find online. GPs usually use the PHQ9 scale, this link tells you all about it and you can answer the questions there: I got 27/27 when I did it last week. http://www.depression-primarycare.or...ls/forms/phq9/

    According to the ICD-10 (the psychological classification system used in Europe):

    Mild: 2 typical symptoms and 2 other core symptoms
    Moderate:2 typical symptoms and 3+ other core symptoms
    Severe: 3 typical symptoms and 4+ other core symptoms

    The 'typical symptoms' are depressed mood, inability to feel pleasure (anhedonia) and tiredness.
    The 'core symptoms' are weight change, disturbed sleep, being slow or agitated, reduced libido, feelings of worthlessness or inappropritate guilt, indecisiveness or inability to concentrate, recurrent thoughts of death or suicide.

    The Americans use the DSM-IV and classify depression as having 5 of the symptoms and then the amount of social and occupational impairment is used to determine severity.
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    As people have said, you can measure it from questionnaires and stuff, which you can usually find online. GPs usually use the PHQ9 scale, this link tells you all about it and you can answer the questions there: I got 27/27 when I did it last week. http://www.depression-primarycare.or...ls/forms/phq9/

    According to the ICD-10 (the psychological classification system used in Europe):

    Mild: 2 typical symptoms and 2 other core symptoms
    Moderate:2 typical symptoms and 3+ other core symptoms
    Severe: 3 typical symptoms and 4+ other core symptoms

    The 'typical symptoms' are depressed mood, inability to feel pleasure (anhedonia) and tiredness.
    The 'core symptoms' are weight change, disturbed sleep, being slow or agitated, reduced libido, feelings of worthlessness or inappropritate guilt, indecisiveness or inability to concentrate, recurrent thoughts of death or suicide.

    The Americans use the DSM-IV and classify depression as having 5 of the symptoms and then the amount of social and occupational impairment is used to determine severity.
    Wow, thanks for that detailed answer! I got 22 :erm: I would disagree with that though, IMO it's only mild - I could be a LOT worse off.
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    Why am I always so bloody tired?!? I need sleep, but I also need to study.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Wow, thanks for that detailed answer! I got 22 :erm: I would disagree with that though, IMO it's only mild - I could be a LOT worse off.
    No probs.
    Yeah I guess it's quite subjective.
    And I also find it surprising that I can score 27/27 and can still pretend to be just about okay. But I think I'm a pretty determined person and would always go into placements until I really really physically couldnt.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Why am I always so bloody tired?!? I need sleep, but I also need to study.
    I was just thinking this, been asleep most the day yet I'm still exhausted.

    coffee?
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    No probs.
    Yeah I guess it's quite subjective.
    And I also find it surprising that I can score 27/27 and can still pretend to be just about okay. But I think I'm a pretty determined person and would always go into placements until I really really physically couldnt.
    Hmm. I still think I could be worse off, I mean I could actually act on some of my thoughts, just because I have them everyday doesn't mean I'll act on them :erm: :hugs: I hope you feel better soon.

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I was just thinking this, been asleep most the day yet I'm still exhausted.

    coffee?
    I think I'm mentally exhausted - just fed up of this whole charade. I have had about 5 cups of Earl Grey, so am probably more than caffeinated enough!
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    Gaah, my doctor put me on Citalopram and the side effects have hit me hard! I'm drowsy and very nauseous. I've only been on them for two days so hopefully the side effects will fade after my body gets used to the tablets.

    I'm feeling extremely anxious again. Everything seems unreal and it's scaring me. Meh.
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    (Original post by gooner1991)
    Gaah, my doctor put me on Citalopram and the side effects have hit me hard! I'm drowsy and very nauseous. I've only been on them for two days so hopefully the side effects will fade after my body gets used to the tablets.

    I'm feeling extremely anxious again. Everything seems unreal and it's scaring me. Meh.
    Oooo, I've been on citalopram for 2 days too. I was on fluoxetine for 3 weeks before that and had tonnes of side effects which I still slightly have, like the anxiety, but its hard to tell what's causing it now.
    Hope you feel better soon.
 
 
 
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