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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Yippy. Feeling like **** again, right in the middle of my exam period. Can't seem to take anything in at the moment. I just feel like there is no point to me. I'm such a waste of time/space. Everyone would be better off without me, no one would miss me if I disappeared. Was sooo tempted to walk into a busy road yesterday, just to end it, this stupid inferiority complex...its driving me mad. I just feel like whenever someone says something nice to me that its a lie. Who could every love me or want me? Anyone who has got close to me soon runs a mile anyway. I just wish I was like everyone else. When people say to me that I'm unique its just code for "you are a freak who doesn't belong anywhere"..
    I just look in the mirror and want to scrape off my face, get rid of it, change it make it normal, change my body change who I am...just wake up tomorrow and be normal.

    I'm expecting a call back from the therapy department today for a consultation...still waiting.....

    sorry for rambling, got carried away at the pity party, I know there are people worse off than me and I have so much to be thankful for but its so hard sometimes, so hard not to run away with my emotions.
    I think we should never ever think that we're a waste of space... Sometimes, we may feel like giving up and just do ourselves away, but we should never ever give up. Even if we don't seem to have anything to live for during this particular moment, we should always persevere in the hope that things will get better soon. However, chances are, we also don't realise the little things in life to live for - to feel the sun on our faces or to feel the gentle caress of the summer breeze on our skin. I think this is something to live for, and there're lots of other reasons.

    I hope you'll feel better and yes it's ok to ramble sometimes; you don't need to apologise. :hugs:
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    (Original post by haidoreru)
    Yea, I was running on 5 hours of sleep two nights ago and last night I got 7 so I'm pretty happy about that.

    Sometimes, I almost dread sleeping though because I would get such horrible nightmares which would wake me up and I would find myself crying.

    I get so frustrated with myself all the time; because I want to get better but it's not happening anytime soon.

    Yes, apparently, coffee acts as a stimulant, which keeps you high for a few hours and then you will crash and feel even lower than before. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...smilies/no.gif
    Your body still needs the sleep though and it's great that you managed to get some more sleep last night :yep:

    It will happen though and it will start soon. :yep:

    Oh right, I didn't know that. I opted for Earl Grey instead. It tastes horrible with sugar :yuck: but at least it'll keep me awake :sigh:

    ---

    Screw revision, I'm hungry and want sugar. I'm going to go make what could be the world's worst cookies. Revision will wait (in the kitchen with me while I cook them - I might glare at a textbook or two).
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    (Original post by haidoreru)
    Aw, :hugs:, to be honest, it really is ok being single at 18 though. I personally have neither been asked out nor kissed by boys till I got into uni and I was 20 then! :eek:

    I think it's alright waiting sometimes... won't you prefer waiting for that special someone? I know it can be very frustrating and sometimes you will feel like shouting at the world but, in all honesty, he will turn up one day. I really believe this.
    Aww, thanks for the advice :hugs:. I know that being single and waiting at my age isn't bad, and part of me registers this, but the other part just doesn't. It's like this constant battle in my mind of clashing thoughts and feelings, pretty crazy. Plus, I can't help always comparing myself to other people, who seem to know how to get into relationships so easily, yet I don't, it just makes me feel a little worthless at times. OK, I know I don't need a man to complete me really (I need to keep playing that PCD song for myself lol), it would just be nice for the company, and the experiences, as it seems to be a big part of life.

    Ah well, waiting won't kill me I guess. I have a few self-esteem and confidence issues as well, and I'm going to see a counsellor soon about that so hopefully that helps me somewhat .
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Your body still needs the sleep though and it's great that you managed to get some more sleep last night :yep:

    It will happen though and it will start soon. :yep:

    Oh right, I didn't know that. I opted for Earl Grey instead. It tastes horrible with sugar :yuck: but at least it'll keep me awake :sigh:
    Thanks; I keep trying to remind myself that things will be better soon. I hope things will be better for you soon too. :hugs:

    Yea, I'm on my second cup of coffee now. :sigh: Oh well, anything for this essay.
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    (Original post by haidoreru)
    I think we should never ever think that we're a waste of space... Sometimes, we may feel like giving up and just do ourselves away, but we should never ever give up. Even if we don't seem to have anything to live for during this particular moment, we should always persevere in the hope that things will get better soon. However, chances are, we also don't realise the little things in life to live for - to feel the sun on our faces or to feel the gentle caress of the summer breeze on our skin. I think this is something to live for, and there're lots of other reasons.

    I hope you'll feel better and yes it's ok to ramble sometimes; you don't need to apologise. :hugs:
    You are right, its the little things that count. I'm just sick and tired of society/people telling me who I should be, how I should act, how I should look and dress. I'm fed up of feeling insignificant because I don't conform...even when I try I fail. Its a loosing game, I wouldn't mind just being on my own, all this pressure, and these exams depriving me of sleep which can't help my state of mind. I feel guilty for wanting to avoid certain people and situations but I just feel like I could crack and I don't want to say/do something I will regret. Thanks for your wise words. Hope things are ok with you.


    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Yeah you should, nobody is perfect! So many people hide how awful they feel etc and then we hold them up as role models when actually, they're no different from us. We're all human and we all feel both positive and negative things and do both good and bad things. You are not worthless, there are people that care for you and who's lives would be changed very much for the worse if you weren't here.

    Thanks, and you - I hope you feel better soon. It's going okay but I'm insanely tired so it's slow. How about you?
    True I just wish I could handle it better and wasn't so unstable, its not healthy, it distracting.
    Yeah its the same for me, been trying to stay up just to get info to stick in my head, I work better at night, but I'm running out of energy now, only two exams left and they are the hardest. I'm trying to remain focused and save all the self pity and crying for after the exams but I just don't seem to be getting anywhere at the moment...and so we soldier on. :yep:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    True I just wish I could handle it better and wasn't so unstable, its not healthy, it distracting.
    Yeah its the same for me, been trying to stay up just to get info to stick in my head, I work better at night, but I'm running out of energy now, only two exams left and they are the hardest. I'm trying to remain focused and save all the self pity and crying for after the exams but I just don't seem to be getting anywhere at the moment...and so we soldier on. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...milies/yep.gif
    Well all that will come as you get therapy etc and are given the tools through that to deal with and eventually overcome this.

    Try to still get the sleep you need, it won't help your concentration and you'll feel rubbish. But at least you're trying! It'll all pay off :yep:
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    Bought a pair of shorts today for the summer and I'm so upset now, but I feel completely retarded for allowing it to get to me.

    Hidden possible eating trigger
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Bought a load of new clothes last summer not a single thing still fits me, I've put on 3stone in all and 7inches on my waist since october. I'm in the "overweight" bmi range, it just makes me feel awful. I'm too scared to go to the gym though I've been running, walking and even occasionally playing sports to try to lose some weight, I eat hardly anything yet nothing helps.


    I'm not taking these ******* poisons any more I 100% refuse. Seeing psychiatrist on thursday and I'm so ******* angry with her, I asked to change 3 months ago and she told me no. They don't even do what they're meant to do so what the **** is the point in this? I'm so angry and I hate myself so much I can't look in the mirror anymore yet I feel completely pathetic for feeling so bad about it. I keep imagining getting a huge knife and slicing every single disgusting bit off. Haven't done a single bit of work for exams, so definitely going to fail, everything is building up. Everytime I look out the window or go for a run or whatever it's such a nice day and recently too so I keep seeing all these happy people with all their friends chilling and I'm wearing a hoody with no friends feeling ******* terrible. I love the summer usually, but now I'm just hating it more and more.


    /self-obsessed load of utter ****.


    sorry.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Bought a pair of shorts today for the summer and I'm so upset now, but I feel completely retarded for allowing it to get to me.


    I'm not taking these ******* poisons any more I 100% refuse. Seeing psychiatrist on thursday and I'm so ******* angry with her, I asked to change 3 months ago and she told me no. They don't even do what they're meant to do so what the **** is the point in this? I'm so angry and I hate myself so much I can't look in the mirror anymore yet I feel completely pathetic for feeling so bad about it. I keep imagining getting a huge knife and slicing every single disgusting bit off. Haven't done a single bit of work for exams, so definitely going to fail, everything is building up. Everytime I look out the window or go for a run or whatever it's such a nice day and recently too so I keep seeing all these happy people with all their friends chilling and I'm wearing a hoody with no friends feeling ******* terrible. I love the summer usually, but now I'm just hating it more and more.


    /self-obsessed load of utter ****.


    sorry.
    Right for the eating trigger part - 1) That's not going to work, your body still need fuel otherwise it goes into starvation mode and clings to all it can get and puts it down as fat. The best way to go is NOT calorie counting (as I think you're in quite a vulnerable position so PLEASE don't count calories/points/whatever) but to just be active, but NOT over the top.

    Ideally you need to see your GP and nip this in the bud. 1) Your relationship with your image is NOT good and this seems to be affecting your relationship with food, making it worse. Another reason to see your GP: to get them to refer you to a different psychiatrist and also to discuss different antidepressants (some can cause an increase in appetite for certain people after all). And yes, there will be other ones out there, so it really is worth to keep trying. Explain to your GP that you are not getting along with these ones - try to be stern about it.

    Why not go outside and find a quite spot to just sit and stare? I do that sometimes and it helps - I don't feel like I'm holing myself up so much, even though I don't have to change out of the hoodie or see anyone.

    :jumphug:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Right for the eating trigger part - 1) That's not going to work, your body still need fuel otherwise it goes into starvation mode and clings to all it can get and puts it down as fat. The best way to go is NOT calorie counting (as I think you're in quite a vulnerable position so PLEASE don't count calories/points/whatever) but to just be active, but NOT over the top.

    Ideally you need to see your GP and nip this in the bud. 1) Your relationship with your image is NOT good and this seems to be affecting your relationship with food, making it worse. Another reason to see your GP: to get them to refer you to a different psychiatrist and also to discuss different antidepressants (some can cause an increase in appetite for certain people after all). And yes, there will be other ones out there, so it really is worth to keep trying. Explain to your GP that you are not getting along with these ones - try to be stern about it.

    Why not go outside and find a quite spot to just sit and stare? I do that sometimes and it helps - I don't feel like I'm holing myself up so much, even though I don't have to change out of the hoodie or see anyone.

    :jumphug:
    Hey, thanks for the thoughtful reply.

    I'm not sure if it's starvation mode, by hardly anything I meant in comparison to what I used to eat. Like atm I'm just not hungry ever, I force myself to eat breakfast (cereal) and usually something for dinner (piece of beef + carrots or whatever) and maybe an apple/banana during the day or a couple of sweets but I'm just not hungry at all recently. I have no idea if that's enough food or not.

    I think you're definitely right about seeing another psychiatrist, not only do I really dislike this one but she doesn't listen to me and hardly ever sees me anyway which seems completely pointless. It wasn't antidepressants (although the one I'm on does increase appetite) it was quetiapine. I was thinking of just saying on thursday that I outright refuse to take these anymore so if she doesn't change them I won't take anything but not sure how good an idea that is. I just want her to listen to me.

    You know, that sounds like a great idea, I'll go sit in the sun with maybe my ds or something.


    How're you getting on? I know you have revision but can understand how difficult it is, but like how you feeling? and thanks for the suggestion If i don't reply it's because I'm playing pokemon (:o: ) outside but will be back later
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Hey, thanks for the thoughtful reply.

    I'm not sure if it's starvation mode, by hardly anything I meant in comparison to what I used to eat. Like atm I'm just not hungry ever, I force myself to eat breakfast (cereal) and usually something for dinner (piece of beef + carrots or whatever) and maybe an apple/banana during the day or a couple of sweets but I'm just not hungry at all recently. I have no idea if that's enough food or not.

    I think you're definitely right about seeing another psychiatrist, not only do I really dislike this one but she doesn't listen to me and hardly ever sees me anyway which seems completely pointless. It wasn't antidepressants (although the one I'm on does increase appetite) it was quetiapine. I was thinking of just saying on thursday that I outright refuse to take these anymore so if she doesn't change them I won't take anything but not sure how good an idea that is. I just want her to listen to me.

    You know, that sounds like a great idea, I'll go sit in the sun with maybe my ds or something.


    How're you getting on? I know you have revision but can understand how difficult it is, but like how you feeling? and thanks for the suggestion If i don't reply it's because I'm playing pokemon (http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/images/smilies/o.gif ) outside but will be back later
    That is no where near enough food. And where are the carbs? 50% of your diet should be carbs, the body needs them! Are you trying not to eat or have you lost your appetite? If you're trying not to eat, then see your GP as you don't want it to get worse, trust me. If it's loss of appetite, just force yourself to eat it. If you don't eat enough, you're going to end up feeling physically and mentally awful.

    If part of you thinks that loss of appetite is a way of 'fixing' what you perceive to be wrong with you, then again that's dangerous territory and you'll never be happy with your body if that's your thought pattern/whatever, so again to the GP. What you wrote about your body and the fact that you have mental health problems does worry me, and you need to try and keep a balanced diet - that means enough calories (which you are not getting anywhere near) and eating carbs and trying to not worry about what you are eating - your body needs fuel or both your mind and body end up messed up.

    That sounds like a good idea, if she still doesn't listen to you, then be forceful in looking for a new one. But please do keep taking your medication, there is a reason you are given it and that is to help you get better. If you're not getting along with the ones you're on, again be forceful. Also, it doesn't sound like they're increasing your appetite.

    Haha, that sounds like a great idea! Pokemon outside. :moon:

    I'm... I don't know. I'm having massive loss of appetite right now, so have to be very careful that I force myself to eat enough. I'm also finding that I don't have the energy or the will to move my hand a few cms to change the channel on TV for example, which freaks me out a little. Other than that I'm doing quite well thanks, actually did some revision and spoke to a friend on the phone. Which is amazing given I hate even speaking to people online (this doesn't count haha). But then, she's always understanding. :yep:

    Enjoy playing pokemon!
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    hi everyone, i'm back!

    I had a weird day. I had a spanish exam today and was really ill (been ill since thursday). So i went to docs this morning and found out i've got a chest infection and the doctor wrote me a note saying i was not well enough to do exams.

    So anyway i went to uni and the lady wouldn't let me take the exam in the room as i was coughing mad so they took me to exam office and asked me if i wanted to do it alone or not and i said well if they consider my doctors note then no i don't want to because i was feeling like death (and still am!). . So i went home without sitting the exam and my friday's exam might have to be rescheduled too.

    blue
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    hi everyone, i'm back!

    I had a weird day. I had a spanish exam today and was really ill (been ill since thursday). So i went to docs this morning and found out i've got a chest infection and the doctor wrote me a note saying i was not well enough to do exams.

    So anyway i went to uni and the lady wouldn't let me take the exam in the room as i was coughing mad so they took me to exam office and asked me if i wanted to do it alone or not and i said well if they consider my doctors note then no i don't want to because i was feeling like death (and still am!). . So i went home without sitting the exam and my friday's exam might have to be rescheduled too.

    blue
    Do you get to do it at a later date this year? Hope you're feeling better soon!
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    That is no where near enough food. And where are the carbs? 50% of your diet should be carbs, the body needs them! Are you trying not to eat or have you lost your appetite? If you're trying not to eat, then see your GP as you don't want it to get worse, trust me. If it's loss of appetite, just force yourself to eat it. If you don't eat enough, you're going to end up feeling physically and mentally awful.

    If part of you thinks that loss of appetite is a way of 'fixing' what you perceive to be wrong with you, then again that's dangerous territory and you'll never be happy with your body if that's your thought pattern/whatever, so again to the GP. What you wrote about your body and the fact that you have mental health problems does worry me, and you need to try and keep a balanced diet - that means enough calories (which you are not getting anywhere near) and eating carbs and trying to not worry about what you are eating - your body needs fuel or both your mind and body end up messed up.

    That sounds like a good idea, if she still doesn't listen to you, then be forceful in looking for a new one. But please do keep taking your medication, there is a reason you are given it and that is to help you get better. If you're not getting along with the ones you're on, again be forceful. Also, it doesn't sound like they're increasing your appetite.

    Haha, that sounds like a great idea! Pokemon outside. :moon:

    I'm... I don't know. I'm having massive loss of appetite right now, so have to be very careful that I force myself to eat enough. I'm also finding that I don't have the energy or the will to move my hand a few cms to change the channel on TV for example, which freaks me out a little. Other than that I'm doing quite well thanks, actually did some revision and spoke to a friend on the phone. Which is amazing given I hate even speaking to people online (this doesn't count haha). But then, she's always understanding. :yep:

    Enjoy playing pokemon!
    I don't think I'm consciously trying not to eat, just for the past 4 weeks or so I've had absolutely no appetite I don't know why. But yeah I have been forcing myself to eat breakfast and dinner, but if you don't think it's enough I could try a sandwich for lunch or something (bread is carbs isn't it? Sorry...probably sound really stupid but I have no idea about food groups and stuff).

    I dunno what I'm going to do, if she doesn't let me change I simply won't leave until she does seriously, there's no way am I taking these again. Last time I didn't take them I could actually think and it was awesome, I was on fire in my seminar. It's not just being fat, it's knowing on these pills that I'm going to fail my exams.

    The pokemon was nice Sat leaning against a tree in the sun, brilliant.

    Sounds great that you've done some revision and talking to understanding people is always good as well. Hope she made you feel a bit better. Hmm...I can kind of sympathise with the lack of energy, I think it goes hand in hand with depression. Were you actually enjoying what was on the tv?




    Just found I'm not the only one appalled by that daily mail writer, there's even a facebook group now:
    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=111198378922821
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I don't think I'm consciously trying not to eat, just for the past 4 weeks or so I've had absolutely no appetite I don't know why. But yeah I have been forcing myself to eat breakfast and dinner, but if you don't think it's enough I could try a sandwich for lunch or something (bread is carbs isn't it? Sorry...probably sound really stupid but I have no idea about food groups and stuff).
    Yeah, bread is a carb. TBH, I think unless you eat shockingly there is not much need to know the food groups, or at least no point for people who may be vulnerable to getting sucked into obsession over it. Try to eat lunch too, a sandwich is good. :yep: Unless that's one hell of a sandwich (think Scooby Doo) you're still not going to be close to the amount of food you need, but it's much better than without :yes:

    As I've said before, the body and mind need food, without it yes your body will react badly, but your mind will too and it certainly seems to affect body image for the worse, not eating enough.

    I dunno what I'm going to do, if she doesn't let me change I simply won't leave until she does seriously, there's no way am I taking these again. Last time I didn't take them I could actually think and it was awesome, I was on fire in my seminar. It's not just being fat, it's knowing on these pills that I'm going to fail my exams.
    Try to explain that to her. Are you able to see someone else (e.g. by going back to whoever referred you to her?) if she continues not to listen to you?

    The pokemon was nice Sat leaning against a tree in the sun, brilliant.
    Haha, sounds it. My mother just tried to get me to do that for the vitamin D (tomorrow, obviously, not sure that the moon's a great source of the stuff!). In response I took a vitamin pill with 100% of my RDA of vitamin D :teehee: But yeah, outside is good... Going outside is something I need to do too, but I hate the feeling of the sun on my skin. :erm:

    And playing pokemon = win.

    Sounds great that you've done some revision and talking to understanding people is always good as well. Hope she made you feel a bit better. Hmm...I can kind of sympathise with the lack of energy, I think it goes hand in hand with depression. Were you actually enjoying what was on the tv?
    Well this person has problems too and is well, a nice person I guess. Kinda restored my something of/for humanity (wow, my memory's good today. I meant whatever the idiom is!). I can't remember what was on TV, but it was okay. I wanted to change because it was the adverts and I mainly watch TV to stop me feeling low. Ads don't do that.

    Just found I'm not the only one appalled by that daily mail writer, there's even a facebook group now:
    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=111198378922821
    :hugs: Yes, I'm very, very lazy but it's easier to reply this way when I can't remember things for long!
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    My eating is out of control atm... Can't stop :cry: I'm forcing myself to go swimming tomorrow/Thursday (or Saturday, depending on time) and am going to start eating properly again, no more sweets etc. and exercising much more regularly. I keep getting a horrible stitch in my side when I start though :/

    Gonna bake some cookies to send out to my dad tomorrow, I feel awful because I haven't had time to reply to his last email, which he had to send twice because hotmail died, and I haven't sent him anything yet... Truthfully, I don't know what to say, or what to give him. I hate talking on the phone and I forget everything I want to say in our 10 minute weekly phone call. I'm such a crap daughter. My sister has sent him two packages and is emailing him every other day, she's bought him loads of stuff and I couldn't even be bothered to load his stupid computer game on his laptop before he went. I dunno. When I try and write an email to him or something everything seems so mundane... I know he'd like to know how college is going, what I've been up to, plans and stuff but I always forget when I'm typing it. Argh.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    My eating is out of control atm... Can't stop http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...milies/cry.gif I'm forcing myself to go swimming tomorrow/Thursday (or Saturday, depending on time) and am going to start eating properly again, no more sweets etc. and exercising much more regularly. I keep getting a horrible stitch in my side when I start though :/

    Gonna bake some cookies to send out to my dad tomorrow, I feel awful because I haven't had time to reply to his last email, which he had to send twice because hotmail died, and I haven't sent him anything yet... Truthfully, I don't know what to say, or what to give him. I hate talking on the phone and I forget everything I want to say in our 10 minute weekly phone call. I'm such a crap daughter. My sister has sent him two packages and is emailing him every other day, she's bought him loads of stuff and I couldn't even be bothered to load his stupid computer game on his laptop before he went. I dunno. When I try and write an email to him or something everything seems so mundane... I know he'd like to know how college is going, what I've been up to, plans and stuff but I always forget when I'm typing it. Argh.
    :hugs: Please try to ignore the eating, it'll balance out naturally anyway. Don't deny yourself things, just focus on trying to get better.

    Maybe try to write a list and keep it somewhere where you can remember so that it's all written there, ready for you to tell him.

    Be glad that you can email him etc - my Dad used to be a submariner and we had to write one word in each of these stupid boxes :dry: (urgh, that makes it sound like I'm trying to turn this into a competition, I'm not :hugs: I suck at phrasing things, I really do :rolleyes:) So at least you can write however long/short you want things to be and I'm sure he's not exactly going to mind loads of fragmented emails saying 'oh, and I forgot to tell you...' Why not write a quick one now, mundane stuff if you're struggling to write, even just what you did today and how is he? I know how hard it is to remember stuff when you're feeling like this, but at least I don't have to remember stuff for anything like that :hugs: But there are way around that, like the list. Take it easier on yourself, you are clearly not a crap daughter - a crap daughter wouldn't give two hoots about the stuff you're worried about and would be off causing trouble for him instead. :console:

    At the end of the day, he's your dad and you are his daughter and he loves and cares for you and you clearly love and care for him too, so stop comparing yourself to your sister!
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Do you get to do it at a later date this year? Hope you're feeling better soon!
    no i don't because it was a finals. I think i just get extenuating circumstances considered.
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    no i don't because it was a finals. I think i just get extenuating circumstances considered.
    :hugs: I hope you get the grades you want/need
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Argh! Why am I so depressed about being single? And why can't I find anyone? Why do I constantly have these thoughts in my mind all day everyday? Like, why haven't I been asked out in over 2 and a half years? Why am I jealous of people in couples? Why do I keep remembering about those people who once picked on me just for trying to get a boyfriend. Why can't I just get over myself? http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/banghead.gif

    Sorry, this sounds so pathetic I know, and I have complained about this more than once. And despite reading as much advice as I can, I still can't help letting this get to me. It also adds to the list of things I fail at in life. Waiting is irritating. I guess I'm just writing this to vent, that's all. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...ilies/sigh.gif
    I wasn't going to reply to this (I'm very anti relationships at the moment, I'm a loner haha) but having seen your profile pic - you are gorgeous! The only reason you haven't been asked out is probably because the guys are too frightened of rejection! And if there's a guy you like, why not ask him out yourself

    Anyway, to my main point - being with someone won't make your problems go away. Just because you don't have a boyfriend doesn't mean that that's a failure! Learning to be happy by yourself is a massive success, one that few people manage but maybe that's something to work on while you wait for Mr Right?

    BTW, I don't want to sound like some crazy stalker perv, I'm not, I just thought it had to be said, so I'm saying it.
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    :cry:
 
 
 
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