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    *peeps in*

    Ermmm hi every-one. I hope you's don't mind a new person. It's just I've been feeling all these different emotions for a few months and have no idea how to deal with it and thought maybe some people could help?

    I'm Victoria, I'm eighteen and I'm at college. Don't know where to start really. I'm in a LDR with my fiance who I've been with for four years and four months. I have a job that I'm not too fond of, it's in a cafe and sometimes get things wrong and because I'm sensitive, I get upset when he tells me off. I always feel lonely, my college friends don't live near me, I miss my other half loads, and I just generally feel lonely constantly. With the mixed feelings I've been having including all that above and coursework, it's getting too much for me and I just cry so much now. But on my own, I don't want anyone to know how much all this is affecting me.

    I just didn't know where else to come, sorry ):
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    (Original post by MysteryPass)
    *peeps in*

    Ermmm hi every-one. I hope you's don't mind a new person. It's just I've been feeling all these different emotions for a few months and have no idea how to deal with it and thought maybe some people could help?

    I'm Victoria, I'm eighteen and I'm at college. Don't know where to start really. I'm in a LDR with my fiance who I've been with for four years and four months. I have a job that I'm not too fond of, it's in a cafe and sometimes get things wrong and because I'm sensitive, I get upset when he tells me off. I always feel lonely, my college friends don't live near me, I miss my other half loads, and I just generally feel lonely constantly. With the mixed feelings I've been having including all that above and coursework, it's getting too much for me and I just cry so much now. But on my own, I don't want anyone to know how much all this is affecting me.

    I just didn't know where else to come, sorry ):
    I remember you :woo: I used to lurk the LDR soc a bit last year :hugs:
    Do you think you're sensitive coz of being so far away from your finace, and coz you miss him so much you can't really be yourself; and so feel lonely? :hugs:

    I'll be in the LDR soc next year when my relationship finally turns into one.
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    (Original post by MysteryPass)
    *peeps in*

    Ermmm hi every-one. I hope you's don't mind a new person. It's just I've been feeling all these different emotions for a few months and have no idea how to deal with it and thought maybe some people could help?

    I'm Victoria, I'm eighteen and I'm at college. Don't know where to start really. I'm in a LDR with my fiance who I've been with for four years and four months. I have a job that I'm not too fond of, it's in a cafe and sometimes get things wrong and because I'm sensitive, I get upset when he tells me off. I always feel lonely, my college friends don't live near me, I miss my other half loads, and I just generally feel lonely constantly. With the mixed feelings I've been having including all that above and coursework, it's getting too much for me and I just cry so much now. But on my own, I don't want anyone to know how much all this is affecting me.

    I just didn't know where else to come, sorry ):
    Heylo :hugs: You (and any other new people) are always more than welcome to pop in for a chat or hang around for a bit longer. We're a friendly bunch

    Four years? Wow. That's a long time! LDRs can be stressful but what doesn't break you, makes you stronger... Any chance you go move to where he is and get a better job? Or is that on the cards?
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    (Original post by Loz17)
    I remember you :woo: I used to lurk the LDR soc a bit last year :hugs:
    Do you think you're sensitive coz of being so far away from your finace, and coz you miss him so much you can't really be yourself; and so feel lonely? :hugs:

    I'll be in the LDR soc next year when my relationship finally turns into one.
    Thanks for replying, I notice the name from the LDR Soc :woo: . I'm not sure, I mean, I miss him more than anything, he's always on my mind constantly of course, so I can say a part of that, is missing him. It's just the job, and the coursework and the way that I can't be stress free. I'm always worrying about something, I don't look forward to the weekend because I work at the weekend, then I stress about all the coursework. It's just so mind-boggling.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Heylo :hugs: You (and any other new people) are always more than welcome to pop in for a chat or hang around for a bit longer. We're a friendly bunch

    Four years? Wow. That's a long time! LDRs can be stressful but what doesn't break you, makes you stronger... Any chance you go move to where he is and get a better job? Or is that on the cards?
    Thank you (: Yeah, four years and that's been LDR all the time. It's been a rough road, but we've got through it. Well I'm finishing the first year of my college course that lasts two years and I'm not sure what's happening after that. I want to move over with him, I'm just not sure when that will be happening though.
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    (Original post by MysteryPass)
    Thanks for replying, I notice the name from the LDR Soc :woo: . I'm not sure, I mean, I miss him more than anything, he's always on my mind constantly of course, so I can say a part of that, is missing him. It's just the job, and the coursework and the way that I can't be stress free. I'm always worrying about something, I don't look forward to the weekend because I work at the weekend, then I stress about all the coursework. It's just so mind-boggling.
    I know how you're feeling but not to the extent of how little you see him. Do you try and make time for yourself? I know that is half my problem and I can't wait to have some 'me' time in a month maybe once you've finished college you could give your bf a suprise visit and fly over to see him?
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    (Original post by Loz17)
    I know how you're feeling but not to the extent of how little you see him. Do you try and make time for yourself? I know that is half my problem and I can't wait to have some 'me' time in a month maybe once you've finished college you could give your bf a suprise visit and fly over to see him?
    Well he's coming over at the end of June then at the end of July again. Haven't seen him since the end of February so I'm looking forward to see him. I don't really get "me" time, I'm too worried to have any really. The only "me" time I'd have, is having a long shower using all my "LUSH" (Love LUSH) products then going to bed later that night and reading.

    I've been doing all nighters lately to finish work as well. It think that's a big part of my emotions as well.
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    ****, meant to go to sleep over an hour ago. Can't even do that right :cry:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    ****, meant to go to sleep over an hour ago. Can't even do that right :cry:
    << might help?
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    Feeling really down for no reason. :sad: At least I'm not ridiculously numb now, think I may have scared my Mum with how numb I was yesterday and I hate doing that :erm:
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :jumphug: I know what you mean. I can't stop worrying either...its actually making me ill...I just want to disappear too.
    Miserable isn't it. How's life going otherwise?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    It was just all the people, walking slowly, stopping in the middle of the pavement to stare at shop windows, generally being arses. there were too many of them and I'm not the greatest fan of loads of people at the best of times. It just bugs me that after all these years I can still have off days with my eating disorder too.

    I doubt anyone's following you with a camera and it's best to fill out the form honestly, or no one can do anything to help you. :hugs: Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to (such as being honest with that form) in order to be happy again :console:
    Ah that pisses me off loads too. And all the morons walking 0.5miles an hour 4 in a row so you have to walk on the road to get past. Or they just walk into you if you're going to other way, how dare I want them to move over a bit. :rolleyes: People are morons so I can definitely understand your frustration there. Music helps, something to take your mind off it. Don't feel bad about the eating disorder thing either, obviously it's not ideal but you've recognized it which is great so hopefully you can keep on top of it.

    I'm not so sure about that. Keep hearing people talking about what they're going to do with the photos and laughing about it etc. Yeah I know I have to be honest with the form, but it just confirms to me what a complete freak and how from normal I am.
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    been crying/close to tears most of today. Too tired and upset to do work either but i have to do it. I have to get into uni :cry:. Today is not a good day
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :nothing:

    Done nothing today apart from yelling at my Mum over nothing and hitting myself in public. I think it's fair to say that I didn't react so well to my little trip out of the house. :cry:

    Over the past few weeks I've come to really understand the feeling of being numb. I think that's the reason I've managed to do work, but I can feel myself shifting towards feeling really low again and today's been an awful day in terms of revision which makes me feel even worse.
    Oh no, :hugs: How long had it been since you went outside? And don't worry we all get annoyed at times, with me i mostly take out my anger on my siblings when they come to visit i usually get annoyed easily and just really angry which is weird cos i dont feel any anger towards them.
    I know what you mean about the numbness aswell. Hoepfully after our stressful exams it WILL get better
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    ...This training has to be the most pointless thing ever. :sigh: Spent an hour on the tills today (1 hour out of 8) which was the only useful bit of the last two days. I *know* how to deal with a customer who has a complaint, I *know* how to talk to a disabled person in the pub, I AM NOT A ******* IDIOT! I just want to curl up and cry. I can't quit because I need the money and I need the job, I enjoy working in a customer facing environment but some of their rules are so ******* dumb. Seriously, who the hell doesn't know that you smile at customers?! Did we really need to spend an hour talking about how smiling and greeting the customers was really important? Or an hour talking about how we should be dressed? It's all important stuff but it really can be covered in a few minutes, each topic. I know how to pour drinks but there are people who've never worked in a pub before and don't know how to pour a decent pint - Surely that's more important?

    Now I have to start on my 1st essay, out of about 6. Sigh.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    ...This training has to be the most pointless thing ever. :sigh: Spent an hour on the tills today (1 hour out of 8) which was the only useful bit of the last two days. I *know* how to deal with a customer who has a complaint, I *know* how to talk to a disabled person in the pub, I AM NOT A ******* IDIOT! I just want to curl up and cry. I can't quit because I need the money and I need the job, I enjoy working in a customer facing environment but some of their rules are so ******* dumb. Seriously, who the hell doesn't know that you smile at customers?! Did we really need to spend an hour talking about how smiling and greeting the customers was really important? Or an hour talking about how we should be dressed? It's all important stuff but it really can be covered in a few minutes, each topic. I know how to pour drinks but there are people who've never worked in a pub before and don't know how to pour a decent pint - Surely that's more important?

    Now I have to start on my 1st essay, out of about 6. Sigh.
    They have to go over everything, because if they don't you can guarantee that one idiot will say "ohhhhh you never told me I was meant to smile".
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    They have to go over everything, because if they don't you can guarantee that one idiot will say "ohhhhh you never told me I was meant to smile".
    Yes, I totally agree. But the 'training' we've had so far, if it was run properly and not so repetitive, could have taken a maximum of about 5 hours. The training tomorrow will be the same... I hate being told the same thing again, and again, and again, and then again when I already knew it in the first place. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Yes, I totally agree. But the 'training' we've had so far, if it was run properly and not so repetitive, could have taken a maximum of about 5 hours. The training tomorrow will be the same... I hate being told the same thing again, and again, and again, and then again when I already knew it in the first place. :rolleyes:
    Understandably! :p:

    How are you doing? It's been ages since I've posted on TSR and I feel like I've forsaken you guys.


    As for me, I've been admitted to hospital because well... depression got me an eating disorder. And now they've forced me to eat for almost 4 months, made me gain weight and institutionalised me, the depression has come back worse than ever. So the thing I was trying to avoid never really went away...
    I'm at home for 4 days as a sort of test to see if I can maintain my weight and if I do that I get to be discharged but :cry:, I hate being at home and I hate hospital. There's nowhere for me to go. I didn't finish my A levels and I don't want to and I just want to burst into tears and starve myself until I feel numb again.
    I just don't know what to do with myself. I hope they discharge me so I can get a job or something. All I do now is eat the 'prescribed' meals and snacks and sleep in between to get away from the thoughts.
    :cry:

    Hope you guys are ok. Sorry I haven't been replying to quotes or PMs or anything. I love you all. :hugs:
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Understandably! :p:

    How are you doing? It's been ages since I've posted on TSR and I feel like I've forsaken you guys.


    As for me, I've been admitted to hospital because well... depression got me an eating disorder. And now they've forced me to eat for almost 4 months, made me gain weight and institutionalised me, the depression has come back worse than ever. So the thing I was trying to avoid never really went away...
    I'm at home for 4 days as a sort of test to see if I can maintain my weight and if I do that I get to be discharged but :cry:, I hate being at home and I hate hospital. There's nowhere for me to go. I didn't finish my A levels and I don't want to and I just want to burst into tears and starve myself until I feel numb again.
    I just don't know what to do with myself. I hope they discharge me so I can get a job or something. All I do now is eat the 'prescribed' meals and snacks and sleep in between to get away from the thoughts.
    :cry:

    Hope you guys are ok. Sorry I haven't been replying to quotes or PMs or anything. I love you all. :hugs:
    Hey you! :hugs: Please take care of yourself, sweetie. What kind of job do you want? Maybe it would help to have a look for a job to focus you on recovery?

    ETA - I was doing ok, stressed off my head atm though. I don't know if you know, but my Dad went to Afghanistan nearly a month ago and everything is piling up. I'm training for a new job (just scroll up to see what I think of that :p:), my college course finishes in a month and I haven't done half the work due to a **** up with the tutor, I have a riding and driving lessons to sort out, I haven't seen half my mates in about 4 months and I have uni accommodation to sort out, and a load of other worries. So uhm. Not so good.
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Understandably! :p:

    How are you doing? It's been ages since I've posted on TSR and I feel like I've forsaken you guys.


    As for me, I've been admitted to hospital because well... depression got me an eating disorder. And now they've forced me to eat for almost 4 months, made me gain weight and institutionalised me, the depression has come back worse than ever. So the thing I was trying to avoid never really went away...
    I'm at home for 4 days as a sort of test to see if I can maintain my weight and if I do that I get to be discharged but :cry:, I hate being at home and I hate hospital. There's nowhere for me to go. I didn't finish my A levels and I don't want to and I just want to burst into tears and starve myself until I feel numb again.
    I just don't know what to do with myself. I hope they discharge me so I can get a job or something. All I do now is eat the 'prescribed' meals and snacks and sleep in between to get away from the thoughts.
    :cry:

    Hope you guys are ok. Sorry I haven't been replying to quotes or PMs or anything. I love you all. :hugs:
    :hugs: I'm new to this thread, but have been in recovery from an eating disorder for a few years now, so if you ever want to chat/some support in getting through recovery, feel free to PM me. Your eating disorder is in charge of you, making you unhappy and making you feel even worse. You aren't in control of this situation and the only way to gain true control is to give up your pseudo control and follow what the doctors tell you to.

    Honestly, once you get through this your mind will start improving and you can work on getting happier (for lack of a better word) again. :console:

    You will get through this and when you do you'll be so glad of all the support you received from doctors etc and you'll see the point in everything again. The thoughts will gradually ease up as you learn to tell them to shut up and as you eat - I honestly believe that each meal finished is a silver bullet to the eating disorder :jumphug:
 
 
 
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