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    I've decided that I'm just going to have to do to the Surgery and ask if they've got an appointments for this afternoon that I can nab, I can't do this over the phone and the wait would kill me. I've got some things written down...
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I've decided that I'm just going to have to do to the Surgery and ask if they've got an appointments for this afternoon that I can nab, I can't do this over the phone and the wait would kill me. I've got some things written down...
    best of luck!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    All the ****ing time. :p:

    :hugs:

    thanks for that sabertooth how are you feeling today? :hugs:

    so sick of being up and down all the time - thought i was getting a bit better...maybe not

    things that are getting me down at the moment are:
    1. going from one failed 'relationship' to the next - that's if i can even get someone interested in me in the first place :confused:
    2. money - why do i not seem to have enough?!
    3. where i live is a total mess - trying so hard to make it clean and tidy and pleasant, but i just don't seem to be getting anywhere.
    4. feeling positive one day and then like this the next. why can't i have a 'normal' brain?

    sorry, rant over. :eek3: maybe feel a little better for sharing...
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    The last thing I went to them for was uh, an ear infection when I was 12. I don't like doctors. I don't want to.

    I crashing to the bottom again :cry: So many things I'd rather do than swallow my pride and man up.
    it might sound 'twee' (probably not the right word, but then that's one of my symptoms right now - can't always find the words I want) but going to the doctor's is the first kind of 'step' to getting better. It's nothing to do with pride - if you had diabetes (I've had this analogy given to me on so many occasions...) you would most likely need medication cos a part of your body doesn't function as it should. when you get depressed in the first place, it might be over something specific (or they may be no obvious reason at all) your brain reacts and does funny stuff. Then it becomes like a vicious cycle - you get low because 'x' happened. brain stops working as it should. because brain not working properly, you get more low. you can't sleep properly and you can't fight it, when you do sleep, (and this i only found out recently) the depressed brain dreams 3 times more in REM than normal which increases stress hormones and thus you feel even more exhausted than before. and so on...

    Honestly, bite the bullet and go get yourself an appointment - do it whilst you're still coherent and not what I did which was to be taken there forcibly by an old boyfriend's mum, left to sit in a side room cos i couldn't do anything, not even really speak, just cry and wait for 2 hours for any GP to come back off their rounds.

    do what sabertooth suggested and write down what's bothering you - i've been told to do it lots of times and it can help a LOT. that's if you cba to do it in the first place!

    You might not even need anti-depressants - talking therapies are actually really effective if you get the right person.

    think i might shut up now cos i think i've started to ramble...

    good luck!
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    Am being picked up at quarter to 5 for my 5 o clock appointment. Really regretting this now.

    And I lost my sodding piece of paper!
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    I'm so ******* angry. I hate being like this but whatever I do nothing ******* changes. I go see the shrink, take the ******* goddamn ******* pills I hate, seeing the psychologist, trying so so hard not to hurt myself but it's all for nothing. I wouldn't ******* mind if there was some improvement but there's nothing. :mad: :mad: :mad: it really ******* gets to me sometimes, im just sitting listening to music loud tryingt o block them out but no nothing ******* works. goddamn it. god ******* damn it.

    ****

    ****

    ****

    i want to do some serious ******* damage to something. no idea what.


    i hate this bloody swear filter.i look like a ******* idiot. :mad:


    Im just goig to rant here I dont really care if people read it. i foundan awesome army run thing to join at uni but there's no chance in hell they're going to let me. its the one thing im looking forward to going back for and i bettheyll ******* tell me no right off the bat, ive even been training for it but it doesnt matter in the end because they're going to just say no. its the one ******* thing stoppig my slicing my arm open, my psychiatrist said she'll say self harm was in the past and clear me fro it but im going to **** up and they;ll say no anyway so what's the point in even trying? yes im aware i need to put more full stops and commas in. why am i even still typing?

    I should be able to pull myself out oft his but i ******* can't thats why im so bloody angry, im angry atmyself if i was a better person i'd do it. but i can;'t.
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    ...

    :hugs: to everyone and anyone and especially sabertooth on this occasion ! :hugs:
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    Saber :hugs: :console:

    Got another appointment on Monday at half 4 ish, to talk about how things are going and my answers to 'the' questionaire... Wasn't as bad as it could've been. So lucky to have such good mates :o:
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    i really really really wish i weren't having these ****** up thoughts
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    Hey everyone hows you today?
    I am feeling good
    and on another note i got my tattoo done now
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    what does everyone think?
    Attached Images
     
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    (Original post by Vienna Cannon)
    what does everyone think?
    Ooooooooooooh pretty
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    (Original post by starchild)
    Ooooooooooooh pretty
    yay thankyou
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    (Original post by Vienna Cannon)
    what does everyone think?
    AWESOME!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    AWESOME!

    hows your day been
    :hugs: for siti and sabertooth
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    Sorry to disrupt the happy mood (Awesome tattoo btw, Vienna!), but I feel really low tonight and I don't know why :cry:
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    aw, vienna, that's nice.



    And meh I'm feeling **** but.
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    Help :cry:
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    (Original post by BruceTaylor)
    Sorry to disrupt the happy mood (Awesome tattoo btw, Vienna!), but I feel really low tonight and I don't know why :cry:
    :console: Do you want to talk about it?
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    ..
 
 
 
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