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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I can't stop thinking about killing myself. This is all triggered off by this stupid subject stressing me out (makes me think I'm a failure etc). My dad just came in and had a chat to me (doesn't happen often) about it and he was starting to make me feel a lot better about taking a forced year out, but then he mentioned getting a job and that's what's really scaring me about taking a year out - I don't think I can cope with the new people, responsibilities etc, part of the reason I don't think I should go to uni this year. :cry:
    :console: I think that having a fresh start, whatever you choose, is usually a good idea for anyone. You get to leave behind some stuff from the past, and do something new, which can be refreshing for yourself. Also, meeting new people most likely means making some cool new friends. I mean, you don't really know whether you cope unless you try first. Good luck to you whatever happen though
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    :console: I think that having a fresh start, whatever you choose, is usually a good idea for anyone. You get to leave behind some stuff from the past, and do something new, which can be refreshing for yourself. Also, meeting new people most likely means making some cool new friends. I mean, you don't really know whether you cope unless you try first. Good luck to you whatever happen though
    But I'm starting to get really agoraphobic, so new people or people at all isn't a great thing for me right now :erm:

    Today I'm in a 'I want to go to uni' mood haha.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm sure your father would understand if you didn't feel up to getting a job.

    I'm not 100% sure on this, but it's probably worth you checking out, anyway, I think if you leave university before a certain point you would not have to pay tuition fees for that year. And if you're staying in halls then it's likely they could quite easily fill your space if you did decide to leave. If these are true, then perhaps it might be worth you trying university and seeing how it goes and if you're not ready for it yet you can leave having not really lost anything and go back next year. Universities, in my experience, tend to be understanding about mental health problems. So perhaps that's worth a go? The new environment might help you and you might meet some awesome people, but if you don't well it's no huge loss.

    I dunno, just an idea.
    Hmm, maybe.

    I'll have to try and get into uni first :erm:

    Sorry I haven't been replying to you quotes/anyone's quotes on here actually, I've been having a **** week or so.
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    Jesus wept. I'm pathetic. I can't go two weeks without cutting... Now my arms look like I've been dragged across barbed wire. It's hideous. It's stupid. It's just... urghhhh.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Jesus wept. I'm pathetic. I can't go two weeks without cutting... Now my arms look like I've been dragged across barbed wire. It's hideous. It's stupid. It's just... urghhhh.
    :hugs: :console: :jumphug:

    You're not pathetic, don't think that :grouphugs:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: :console: :jumphug:

    You're not pathetic, don't think that :grouphugs:
    Saw the boy this afternoon and he looked at my wrist to see if I'd done anything... Managed to miss one cut and I had my hoody on all day (despite it being 23+ degrees here) so he didn't see the mess of my arm. Fail. :o:

    Hugeeeeeee research project due tomorrow and all I wanna do is fall asleep in his arms, I don't want this any more, I don't want uni, or studying, or anything, I just want to have an easy life where I feel happy and safe and loved.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Saw the boy this afternoon and he looked at my wrist to see if I'd done anything... Managed to miss one cut and I had my hoody on all day (despite it being 23+ degrees here) so he didn't see the mess of my arm. Fail. :o:

    Hugeeeeeee research project due tomorrow and all I wanna do is fall asleep in his arms, I don't want this any more, I don't want uni, or studying, or anything, I just want to have an easy life where I feel happy and safe and loved.
    :hugs: Maybe try doing just 5 minutes and see whether or not you get into it? I find that just avoiding it will make me even more worked up about, but doing even just a tiny bit makes me more relaxed about it. Why not reward yourself with spending time with him once you finish it or something?

    I don't really know what to comment on about the cutting - I know you couldn't help it and I know that you know that it's not the best way to deal with things, so there's not much to say apart from have you tried other techniques, such as an elastic band/hair tie around your elbow/knee and flicking it? It doesn't inflict any/much damage at all, but is a sort of in between thing?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Maybe try doing just 5 minutes and see whether or not you get into it? I find that just avoiding it will make me even more worked up about, but doing even just a tiny bit makes me more relaxed about it. Why not reward yourself with spending time with him once you finish it or something?

    I don't really know what to comment on about the cutting - I know you couldn't help it and I know that you know that it's not the best way to deal with things, so there's not much to say apart from have you tried other techniques, such as an elastic band/hair tie around your elbow/knee and flicking it? It doesn't inflict any/much damage at all, but is a sort of in between thing?
    Spent the entire afternoon with him I've got most of it done, if I knuckled down and spent a good half hour on it I'd be done, I just keep finding things to distract myself with.

    I dunno about the cutting, I probably shouldn't comment on here :o: triggers and all that. I barely even noticed I was doing it last night... Sodding hurts today though. I used to do the ice cube trick, think I might have to try the hair band thing.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Spent the entire afternoon with him I've got most of it done, if I knuckled down and spent a good half hour on it I'd be done, I just keep finding things to distract myself with.

    I dunno about the cutting, I probably shouldn't comment on here :o: triggers and all that. I barely even noticed I was doing it last night... Sodding hurts today though. I used to do the ice cube trick, think I might have to try the hair band thing.
    Well surely that means that it won't be too long before you've finished, even with distractions?

    :hugs:
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    I miss having friends. I do still have a couple, but they don't live anywhere near me, so **** knows when I'll next see them. Everything just makes me so miserable, I wish it could all be over.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I miss having friends. I do still have a couple, but they don't live anywhere near me, so **** knows when I'll next see them. Everything just makes me so miserable, I wish it could all be over.
    :hugs: Why not call one of them up/send them an email? :console:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Well surely that means that it won't be too long before you've finished, even with distractions?

    :hugs:
    Still going. Stupid ******* Excel.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Why not call one of them up/send them an email? :console:
    I do email them, but it's not the same as actually seeing them and talking to them. I shouldn't complain really, I've got my sister to talk to, I just never seem to be satisfied with the way things are.

    How you doing today?
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I do email them, but it's not the same as actually seeing them and talking to them. I shouldn't complain really, I've got my sister to talk to, I just never seem to be satisfied with the way things are.

    How you doing today?
    :hugs: Well maybe you could arrange to meet up this summer?

    Meh, failing. Not sure I care. You?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Well maybe you could arrange to meet up this summer?

    Meh, failing. Not sure I care. You?
    Feel like I don't have the energy to do anything. Maybe later in the summer I will though.

    :console: I hope you don't fail. At the moment I just feel like a waste of space.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Feel like I don't have the energy to do anything. Maybe later in the summer I will though.

    :console: I hope you don't fail. At the moment I just feel like a waste of space.
    :hugs: You're not a waste of space, there are people who care about you and love you, remember that. :console:

    And thanks but a year out might do me some good :dontknow:
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    I don't have the energy or a good enough mood to study, instead I've found a new TV programme to get addicted to. Great. :nothing: I woke up feeling like this, so how the hell will I feel later on? :cry:
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    The people on this forum ******* suck. It makes me feel like ****, some of the things they say...
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    The people on this forum ******* suck. It makes me feel like ****, some of the things they say...
    Report them and forget them - They're not worth the upset you feel. They're scum on the bottom of your shoes... :hugs:

    Too hot, I have to wear a cardigan all the time atm. Sod. :o:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Report them and forget them - They're not worth the upset you feel. They're scum on the bottom of your shoes... :hugs:

    Too hot, I have to wear a cardigan all the time atm. Sod. :o:
    I know that feeling, it's horrible sweating your ass off in the summer. Obviously it depends on the marks, but is there anything else you could wear instead? If it's mostly your wrists then a chinky watch or loads of hippy bracelets. Wrist + slightly higher, I used to tie half a bandana around my arm which had kind of a skater look (well....I didn't think it looked too stupid :p: A bit different but that's my style). Further up your arm you could try arm warmers though they might look a little strange in summer. Right now I'm rocking the elasticated tubular support bandage look, which does the job not too conspicuously. Slightly higher you could wear 1/2 or 3/4 length sleeves which although still hot should be cooler than a cardigan. Erm...I dunno, just a few suggestions because it's horrible being so hot. Sorry if that's not helpful.
 
 
 
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