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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    If my 'depression' is all just due to exams, why am I crying?
    I thought that too, initially after finished my exams i was happy but now ive just gone back to feeling sad again. I knew that feeling wouldnt last, ah well. We will get past this!
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    (Original post by CertifiedAngel)
    I thought that too, initially after finished my exams i was happy but now ive just gone back to feeling sad again. I knew that feeling wouldnt last, ah well. We will get past this!
    I hope we do. :yep:

    It's only been 8 hours since the end of my exams and I've already burst into tears. I think because of not having anything to work towards, which I sort of like. It might have been over nothing, I don't even know any more.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I didn't revise much! Why does no one believe me haha, I barely revised! I suppose some of the thoughts I have aren't normal but I still don't feel that I'm 'depressed' - there are loads of people out there that are far worse off than me and have gone through with the thoughts, which surely means they're worse off? The fact that I haven't suggests that things aren't so bad, surely?

    Oh, and don't tempt me
    There are starving people in Africa, and sex slaves in Eastern Europe. It's all relative. What's happened/s to other people doesn't have an effect on you, each person will handle things differently, that doesn't make you weak or anything, it just makes people different. And there's evidence to suggest that depression isn't always reactive, it can be chemical, so you could be a millionaire with a private island and still be depressed. That doesn't make you any less depressed necessarily than a guy whose family died in a house fire. Yes ok he has a clear reason to be depressed but like I said it doesn't have to be a reaction to events that happen to you.

    Sorry...I don't follow. Gone through with "the thoughts"?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    There are starving people in Africa, and sex slaves in Eastern Europe. It's all relative. What's happened/s to other people doesn't have an effect on you, each person will handle things differently, that doesn't make you weak or anything, it just makes people different. And there's evidence to suggest that depression isn't always reactive, it can be chemical, so you could be a millionaire with a private island and still be depressed. That doesn't make you any less depressed necessarily than a guy whose family died in a house fire. Yes ok he has a clear reason to be depressed but like I said it doesn't have to be a reaction to events that happen to you.

    Sorry...I don't follow. Gone through with "the thoughts"?
    Hmm I guess.

    I mean self harm, suicide etc. Sorry, my brain is not working and I'm probably jumping (slowly) from idea to idea without putting them in a decent structure or something.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I hope we do. :yep:

    It's only been 8 hours since the end of my exams and I've already burst into tears. I think because of not having anything to work towards, which I sort of like. It might have been over nothing, I don't even know any more.
    I know what you mean, maybe you could plan stuff to do in the summer to keep yourself busy Thats how i got through last summer.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    8 miles? You crazy. Wasn't it reeeeally hot today as well?

    I found the best method for a bus is sit on the aisle seat so people don't sit next to you (though they normally don't with me anyway ), baseball cap means you don't have to look at people, and mp3 player so you don't have to hear them. Works well.
    That's how much I hate going on buses. It wasn't that hot today, you forget I live in scotland. :hmpf:

    There is no way I am wearing a baseball cap.
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    (Original post by CertifiedAngel)
    I know what you mean, maybe you could plan stuff to do in the summer to keep yourself busy Thats how i got through last summer.
    I'm going to work on staying organised/establishing a routine this summer, so I'll probably just study ancient history stuff :dontknow:
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    That's how much I hate going on buses. It wasn't that hot today, you forget I live in scotland. :hmpf:

    There is no way I am wearing a baseball cap.
    :hugs:

    I have to say, I envy you right now, I'm melting down here in mid-south England! But then, I refuse to open my window at night, so it's my own fault.

    You could try a hoody? No one will sit next to you then if you do one day take the bus. I'm such a hypocrite, I hate buses too! (Unless I sit right at the back, then I can see everyone, and in the middle, so I can get out/away easily... I have so many issues, it's going to take years to work through them, buses are just the tip of the iceberg).
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs:

    I have to say, I envy you right now, I'm melting down here in mid-south England! But then, I refuse to open my window at night, so it's my own fault.

    You could try a hoody? No one will sit next to you then if you do one day take the bus. I'm such a hypocrite, I hate buses too! (Unless I sit right at the back, then I can see everyone, and in the middle, so I can get out/away easily... I have so many issues, it's going to take years to work through them, buses are just the tip of the iceberg).
    Damn you southerners. If I lived in the south I'd spend all day outside drinking cider and my depression would magically be cured. Wanna swap places?

    Nah, I think my walking everywhere strategy is working pretty well, I need the exercise anyway. Besides, if I'm feeling alright buses aren't always a problem.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    That's how much I hate going on buses. It wasn't that hot today, you forget I live in scotland. :hmpf:

    There is no way I am wearing a baseball cap.
    8 miles is still impressive. You must have some very comfortable shoes.

    And yeah hoody is a good idea, you can get ones with slightly bigger hoods so they look more intimidating. It's nice to wander about wearing them at night. :mmm:

    Though you're right walking is good exercise and sunlight is meant to make people feel good apparently, it's also a good way to fill the time.

    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Hmm I guess.

    I mean self harm, suicide etc. Sorry, my brain is not working and I'm probably jumping (slowly) from idea to idea without putting them in a decent structure or something.
    The amount someone self-harms or if they kill themselves aren't necessarily indicative of how depressed they are. It can be, but not always. Again, different people handle things in different ways. You should never feel that how you're feeling isn't legitimate because you haven't killed yourself.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Damn you southerners. If I lived in the south I'd spend all day outside drinking cider and my depression would magically be cured. Wanna swap places?

    Nah, I think my walking everywhere strategy is working pretty well, I need the exercise anyway. Besides, if I'm feeling alright buses aren't always a problem.
    Make that pear cider, and that's what I have been doing. It changes nothing. :sigh:

    Well that's good then :yep:

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    The amount someone self-harms or if they kill themselves aren't necessarily indicative of how depressed they are. It can be, but not always. Again, different people handle things in different ways. You should never feel that how you're feeling isn't legitimate because you haven't killed yourself.
    I guess. I just feel a bit like a fraud I guess because I know that I probably wouldn't attempt it/don't really self harm much at the moment and even when I do, it's not cutting. Oh well, just need to focus on getting happier I guess :erm:

    Oh, and the increasing my food intake thing I was trying to do a few weeks ago never continued. Best try to re-start that tomorrow, if I remember that I'm hungry that is :facepalm: Stupid body!
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    Btw at CBT I've been given lots of self help sheets from this website if anyone wants to give any of the ideas a try: http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/ I've been given quite a lot from the DBT section for managing self harm.

    To be honest it feels like none of the stuff could be helpful to me and I just want to disappear. But perhaps it could be helpful for someone else. I have exams in 2 weeks and should revise but I can't :sad:
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    Btw at CBT I've been given lots of self help sheets from this website if anyone wants to give any of the ideas a try: http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/ I've been given quite a lot from the DBT section for managing self harm.

    To be honest it feels like none of the stuff could be helpful to me and I just want to disappear. But perhaps it could be helpful for someone else. I have exams in 2 weeks and should revise but I can't :sad:
    :hugs: CBT isn't going to change your thoughts overnight, it is going to take a while, but remember that every time you attend a session and put the methods into practice, you're getting a step closer to feeling better :console:

    /cheesiness.
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    Mehhhhhh.

    My best mates boyfriend put himself in hospital yesterday (we're quite close).

    I haven't officially failed my course because I've been given a last chance essay to write, in Law, which I can't do - I attempted it during the year and he wouldn't even grade it, it was that bad.

    I've kinda got through the shock and the upset of Poppys death now but am firmly planted in the disbelief stage again.

    The boy found my self harm scars and (quite fairly) had a go at me for it. Then tried pressuring me into sex. I'm still a virgin and I'm pretty sure I'll be ok to lose it with him, I really don't mind about that, but I kept saying just not now, far too much other stuff to worry about. All of work knows now.

    I haven't eaten more than about 400 calories a day in the last week... I've dropped nearly 4 lbs. But in the mirror I still look like I weigh what I did back at school - wtf?

    Sigh. I'm not a suicide risk, I don't think, seeing my best mate yesterday - the girl who never gets upset, about anything - so scared and worried. I can't self harm any more because I'll lose him. I'm all cried out and fed up of talking to people. What can I do? :cry:
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    :wavey: Hi guys, how I've felt in the last week has been the worst I've felt in a while *sigh* I haven't frequented this soc much as of recent, I was going through a good patch over a year or two you guys are awesome though :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: old and new faces :grouphugs:
    I just feel do deliriously unhappy and my life feels so out of control and I hate to feel so deafeatist but I struggle to stop myself from just curling up in a ball and sobbing till I pass out.
    I walk around and I can't concentrate on anything, my surrondings, my feeligs my actions. I feel like this nasty, out of control, spiteful jealous thing, being, not even human anymore.

    Many hugs and happy thoughts going ou to everyone suffering at the moment :hugs:
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    I also think I may be developing social anxiety, I struggle so hard to speak to people/ be around people. I try so hard to be kind and nice and I just feel like they view me as wierd and odd and just want me to get out of their sight. I feel like I can't say anything right, or do anything right, I can't hold down a ******* job, even a simple one and I'll probably fail at my college course and make no friends at all. It's so hard to hide the pain when it just brims up and consumes you and you feel like theres so few people in this world give a **** about whether you live or die, and even fewer who would have a non selfish reason
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Mehhhhhh.

    My best mates boyfriend put himself in hospital yesterday (we're quite close).

    I haven't officially failed my course because I've been given a last chance essay to write, in Law, which I can't do - I attempted it during the year and he wouldn't even grade it, it was that bad.

    I've kinda got through the shock and the upset of Poppys death now but am firmly planted in the disbelief stage again.

    The boy found my self harm scars and (quite fairly) had a go at me for it. Then tried pressuring me into sex. I'm still a virgin and I'm pretty sure I'll be ok to lose it with him, I really don't mind about that, but I kept saying just not now, far too much other stuff to worry about. All of work knows now.

    I haven't eaten more than about 400 calories a day in the last week... I've dropped nearly 4 lbs. But in the mirror I still look like I weigh what I did back at school - wtf?

    Sigh. I'm not a suicide risk, I don't think, seeing my best mate yesterday - the girl who never gets upset, about anything - so scared and worried. I can't self harm any more because I'll lose him. I'm all cried out and fed up of talking to people. What can I do? :cry:
    :hugs: Is there someone you can talk to right now about things? I know that you know that you need to eat more and you don't look like you used to. You have to eat more, not eating enough makes you feel so **** physically and mentally and you don't need that on top of everything you're having to deal with. :console:

    I think you need to sit down and have a talk with your boyfriend about the sex thing, he probably doesn't realise what you want and thinks that sex will help or something equally as far fetched :dontknow:

    Have you tried calling any helpline when you're feeling low?
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    (Original post by sauce)
    :wavey: Hi guys, how I've felt in the last week has been the worst I've felt in a while *sigh* I haven't frequented this soc much as of recent, I was going through a good patch over a year or two you guys are awesome though :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: old and new faces :grouphugs:
    I just feel do deliriously unhappy and my life feels so out of control and I hate to feel so deafeatist but I struggle to stop myself from just curling up in a ball and sobbing till I pass out.
    I walk around and I can't concentrate on anything, my surrondings, my feeligs my actions. I feel like this nasty, out of control, spiteful jealous thing, being, not even human anymore.

    Many hugs and happy thoughts going ou to everyone suffering at the moment :hugs:
    :hugs: Are you getting any help? The fact that you've had such a long patch of feeling good shows that it's not always going to be like this, you can get through this and you will be happy again :console:

    It's most likely just the depression making you think that, you are a human and there are loads of people that care about you. :jumphug:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Are you getting any help? The fact that you've had such a long patch of feeling good shows that it's not always going to be like this, you can get through this and you will be happy again :console:

    It's most likely just the depression making you think that, you are a human and there are loads of people that care about you. :jumphug:
    Thank you so much :o: you made me feel all funny warm inside :love:
    I believe depression comes in waves and is always under the surface, it can be managed and can go very far below the surface but it will never go :bawling:
    I used to have a social worker/pysch and meds. I'm off all of them now, NHS are bloody useless unless you hurt yourself :sad: I also suffer from underlying EDNOS which is not fun

    At the moment it feels like barely anyone caeres, I've been on and off badly for the last 2 years but have tried my best to control it for everyone else. Now it just feels like an emotional explosion, do you get me?

    More importantly, after my ramble...how are you today :hugs: ?
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Mehhhhhh.

    My best mates boyfriend put himself in hospital yesterday (we're quite close).

    I haven't officially failed my course because I've been given a last chance essay to write, in Law, which I can't do - I attempted it during the year and he wouldn't even grade it, it was that bad.

    I've kinda got through the shock and the upset of Poppys death now but am firmly planted in the disbelief stage again.

    The boy found my self harm scars and (quite fairly) had a go at me for it. Then tried pressuring me into sex. I'm still a virgin and I'm pretty sure I'll be ok to lose it with him, I really don't mind about that, but I kept saying just not now, far too much other stuff to worry about. All of work knows now.

    I haven't eaten more than about 400 calories a day in the last week... I've dropped nearly 4 lbs. But in the mirror I still look like I weigh what I did back at school - wtf?

    Sigh. I'm not a suicide risk, I don't think, seeing my best mate yesterday - the girl who never gets upset, about anything - so scared and worried. I can't self harm any more because I'll lose him. I'm all cried out and fed up of talking to people. What can I do? :cry:
    :hugs: sounds like you're having a really tough time.

    About the essay, don't worry if you think you can't do it. Give it a try, if you can't then at least you've tried, but try not to approach it with an attitude that you're going to fail as it makes it more likely that you will. Though if you do fail, obviously that's not great or anything, but it's not the end of the world there are other paths you can take.

    Yeah I don't understand weight, I lost 2stone in the last few weeks yet to me I look exactly the same. You're going through a stressful time so as long as you're not intentionally undereating don't worry about it.

    "I can't self harm any more because I'll lose him" If he's told you that, it's a really bad position to put you in. Self harm isn't something that you do to hurt other people and, well for me at least, it isn't something you can just stop because someone has told you to. It would probably be a tough conversation, but could you try explaining to him how you feel about the situation? Those kind of ultimatums have never worked for me, they just make me feel a million times worse when I screw up. Then again, if it does work for you that's great. But don't feel awful if you can't do it. Explain to him it's not because of him and that you're trying not to self harm (if you are indeed trying, I dunno, I don't want to make assumptions) but if you slip up leaving you is really not going to be helpful. I understand it's difficult for him.
 
 
 
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