Depression Society MKIII Watch

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Sabertooth
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#6421
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#6421
(Original post by steffi.alexa)
:hugs: I think things must be like buses - the whole either none or many thing.

Well conversely, had you failed then you may feel that you were a 'failure', still sat by yourself not speaking to anyone etc. Try to work with what you have and focus on that fact that despite all the **** thrown at you, you're going to pass. :console: Those buses will come soon enough.

Okay, now I'm fed up of speaking in metaphors :p:
If I don't get a high grade on exams I feel like a failure anyway, so if I just scrape a pass on all of them I'll feel like **** for both reasons. I do not want to go back to university, I hate it. From October to end of June I cried at least 5 times a week every week. Made some acquaintances in my halls but they've left now so going to be even more alone. All that seems to happen when I'm there is that I feel even worse. Why am I paying so much to feel even worse? University is meant to be fun yet I can't stand it. Meh, **** it, 2 week wait until I find out results anyway.

How're you? Feeling any better about sleeping tonight?
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Aemiliana
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#6422
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#6422
(Original post by Sabertooth)
If I don't get a high grade on exams I feel like a failure anyway, so if I just scrape a pass on all of them I'll feel like **** for both reasons. I do not want to go back to university, I hate it. From October to end of June I cried at least 5 times a week every week. Made some acquaintances in my halls but they've left now so going to be even more alone. All that seems to happen when I'm there is that I feel even worse. Why am I paying so much to feel even worse? University is meant to be fun yet I can't stand it. Meh, **** it, 2 week wait until I find out results anyway.

How're you? Feeling any better about sleeping tonight?
:hugs: I do the same, but I have to say, given the way my head is now, even 100% feels like a failure to me. So if you're anything like me, just ignore it it's irrational. I hope things improve for you :console: Surely next year means new people, so a chance to get to know people you may get along with?

Not really, I don't want to but I'm starting to feel tired all ready. I know as soon as I'm in bed trying to sleep I'll go into panic mode :erm: Not that I have enough energy to panic of course :rolleyes:
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Sabertooth
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#6423
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#6423
(Original post by steffi.alexa)
:hugs: I do the same, but I have to say, given the way my head is now, even 100% feels like a failure to me. So if you're anything like me, just ignore it it's irrational. I hope things improve for you :console: Surely next year means new people, so a chance to get to know people you may get along with?

Not really, I don't want to but I'm starting to feel tired all ready. I know as soon as I'm in bed trying to sleep I'll go into panic mode :erm: Not that I have enough energy to panic of course :rolleyes:
That's what I've said every year and it's never worked. New people simply means another chance to **** everything up again. I'm fairly sure it's actually something intrinsically wrong with me; my personality, appearance and interests they all put people off me. Well, it's either me, or it's the entire population of Britain bar one person, so I know which one is more likely. :p:

You could try doing a monster staying awake marathon? Not too good for you but if you stayed up for days when you do fall asleep you'd probably be so tired that panic wouldn't set in. Though that doesn't really solve anything I guess and possibly isn't a good idea.... An alternative might be trying to relax loads before bed, like a bath with candles and smelly stuff and a nice magazine or book so you get in the mood for bed and it might hold off the panic. I don't know if that would work. If not you could go down the sabertooth route which is neck a load of sleeping pills and then it's impossible not to fall asleep. :o:
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Aemiliana
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#6424
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#6424
(Original post by Sabertooth)
That's what I've said every year and it's never worked. New people simply means another chance to **** everything up again. I'm fairly sure it's actually something intrinsically wrong with me; my personality, appearance and interests they all put people off me. Well, it's either me, or it's the entire population of Britain bar one person, so I know which one is more likely. :p:

You could try doing a monster staying awake marathon? Not too good for you but if you stayed up for days when you do fall asleep you'd probably be so tired that panic wouldn't set in. Though that doesn't really solve anything I guess and possibly isn't a good idea.... An alternative might be trying to relax loads before bed, like a bath with candles and smelly stuff and a nice magazine or book so you get in the mood for bed and it might hold off the panic. I don't know if that would work. If not you could go down the sabertooth route which is neck a load of sleeping pills and then it's impossible not to fall asleep. :o:
:hugs: It's your depression saying that though I have to admit, most of the population of Britain are idiots/douchebags. How're things going with the psychiatrist?

Hmm, I might. It's just that I already feel really tired, but I'm really awake at the same time... It's odd but it means that I find it even more difficult to sleep yet it's hard to stay awake. Okay, that makes no sense. The last few times I had a bath and tried to relax, I ended up having panic attack :o: I think if I went to bed early, I'd be fine, but it's probably already too late for that :rolleyes:
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Malsy
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#6425
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#6425
my exams are over. but that hasn't changed my depression albeit i do feel glad.


i did go to the doctors and write everything down and it was an extremely sad tale and i cried and cried yet still no one has taken it seriously. maybe if i died they might. gr.
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Sabertooth
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#6426
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#6426
(Original post by steffi.alexa)
:hugs: It's your depression saying that though I have to admit, most of the population of Britain are idiots/douchebags. How're things going with the psychiatrist?

Hmm, I might. It's just that I already feel really tired, but I'm really awake at the same time... It's odd but it means that I find it even more difficult to sleep yet it's hard to stay awake. Okay, that makes no sense. The last few times I had a bath and tried to relax, I ended up having panic attack :o: I think if I went to bed early, I'd be fine, but it's probably already too late for that :rolleyes:
I've never really been a popular person, they did a personality disorder test on me so I think people also agree with me that I'm the problem. :p: Not see psychiatrist since last time, not seeing her for aaaaaaaaages. Might see another one for a second opinion still trying to decide.


I think it kind of makes sense.... I've felt really tired before yet at the same time can't sleep or keep still. It's a pretty ****** feeling. Ok maybe not a bath, they don't work for everyone, is there anything else that relaxes you? My CPN always used to suggest relaxation techniques and relaxing music etc but never worked for me, might be worth a go if you're desperate. You can get loads of stuff about it online. Maybe you just need something to fill your mind so that it doesn't get a chance to panic, yet not something that will wake you up more or make you feel bad.
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Aemiliana
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#6427
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#6427
(Original post by Malsy)
my exams are over. but that hasn't changed my depression albeit i do feel glad.


i did go to the doctors and write everything down and it was an extremely sad tale and i cried and cried yet still no one has taken it seriously. maybe if i died they might. gr.
Your GP sounds like a ****. Are there other GP practices nearby that you could switch to?
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Aemiliana
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#6428
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#6428
(Original post by Sabertooth)
I've never really been a popular person, they did a personality disorder test on me so I think people also agree with me that I'm the problem. :p: Not see psychiatrist since last time, not seeing her for aaaaaaaaages. Might see another one for a second opinion still trying to decide.


I think it kind of makes sense.... I've felt really tired before yet at the same time can't sleep or keep still. It's a pretty ****** feeling. Ok maybe not a bath, they don't work for everyone, is there anything else that relaxes you? My CPN always used to suggest relaxation techniques and relaxing music etc but never worked for me, might be worth a go if you're desperate. You can get loads of stuff about it online. Maybe you just need something to fill your mind so that it doesn't get a chance to panic, yet not something that will wake you up more or make you feel bad.
:hugs: You don't know that, there will be people out there who will want to be your friends, they might just be sitting on their own too. It might be useful to get a second opinion, what harm could it do? Actually, they could be worse but most people seem to be okay :yep:

Meditation/yoga works, but I'm a complete beginner at yoga so it hurts. A lot. And after meditation, I just start thinking again. I'm very tempted to stay up until 5-6am today though (that's when I find it really easy to go to sleep - it's light and there's noise, no idea why that helps). I could get a lot of Latin studying done in that time :cool:
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Aemiliana
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#6429
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#6429
Sod it, I'm going to try and sleep :erm:
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sauce
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#6430
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#6430
slept for another 3 hours last night. Went to sleep around 5-6 and awoke just before 9. Am physically exhausted, mentally tensions are high and I feel like crying constantly. Just had a little sob. Am massively comfort eating. :facepalm:
Aemiliana
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#6431
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#6431
(Original post by sauce)
slept for another 3 hours last night. Went to sleep around 5-6 and awoke just before 9. Am physically exhausted, mentally tensions are high and I feel like crying constantly. Just had a little sob. Am massively comfort eating. :facepalm:
:hugs: Don't focus on the eating, it's probably not as much as you think. Have you told your GP that your sleep isn't good?
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sauce
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#6432
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#6432
(Original post by steffi.alexa)
:hugs: Don't focus on the eating, it's probably not as much as you think. Have you told your GP that your sleep isn't good?
yeah,eating worries are not helping. Am phoning GP tomorrow hopefully :hugs:
Aemiliana
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#6433
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#6433
(Original post by sauce)
yeah,eating worries are not helping. Am phoning GP tomorrow hopefully :hugs:
:hugs: Your mind is most likely exaggerating it, so try to ignore any negative thoughts if you can :console:
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Aemiliana
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#6434
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#6434
How is everyone today? I'm still too tired to really feel much (apart from the dull ache of my jaw :rolleyes:) but it is making me feel sane for once, which I do like.
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Philosoraptor
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#6435
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#6435
(Original post by sauce)
slept for another 3 hours last night. Went to sleep around 5-6 and awoke just before 9. Am physically exhausted, mentally tensions are high and I feel like crying constantly. Just had a little sob. Am massively comfort eating. :facepalm:
Is it problems getting to sleep or staying asleep?

If it makes you feel better, ANYONE who has very little sleep feels tense, tired, gets irritable/upset easily and tends to "comfort eat" as the body wants tends towards weight gaining habits.
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sauce
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#6436
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#6436
(Original post by Philosoraptor)
Is it problems getting to sleep or staying asleep?

If it makes you feel better, ANYONE who has very little sleep feels tense, tired, gets irritable/upset easily and tends to "comfort eat" as the body wants tends towards weight gaining habits.
Thanks, that does help. Probably not helpful is over for a week I have been fighting with my own emotions to eat more than 500 calories a day and anything with complex carbs so my energy levels are awful. I have just slept for another 2.5 hours but before then made a meal and scaled my leg quite badly so sleep was very uncomfortable. I HAVE to sleep on a side and one side is my injured elbow and the other was my now burnt leg. Didn't know whether to laugh or cry :rofl:
kiss_me_now9
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#6437
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#6437
(Original post by steffi.alexa)
:hugs: Why not tell him that? :console:
Spoke with him today... We pretty much agreed that we get along too well to go our separate ways, and that it would have ended come September anyway. There's a few things I didn't have the courage to say but he said I should text them to him when I can, as he'd like to know what I'm thinking :o: Got a ********** for missing my Drs appointment on Friday and I've promised him I'll get another one arranged once I have my rota, yay. I think I just don't consider relationships in the same way as other people do - I'm far too willing to forgive people and let them walk all over me (which he doesn't want to do). Mmm.

I need my hours, can't book anything without them, I hate weekly rotas!
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sauce
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#6438
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#6438
Tomorrow I *will* be productive, will tidy the house to my own standard, prepare myself for the induction day and try to at least get out for a bit of exercise, even for a walk.
Aemiliana
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#6439
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#6439
(Original post by sauce)
Thanks, that does help. Probably not helpful is over for a week I have been fighting with my own emotions to eat more than 500 calories a day and anything with complex carbs so my energy levels are awful. I have just slept for another 2.5 hours but before then made a meal and scaled my leg quite badly so sleep was very uncomfortable. I HAVE to sleep on a side and one side is my injured elbow and the other was my now burnt leg. Didn't know whether to laugh or cry :rofl:
:hugs: You really need to speak to your GP and get some help with your eating :console: It'll make things a lot easier for you.

(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Spoke with him today... We pretty much agreed that we get along too well to go our separate ways, and that it would have ended come September anyway. There's a few things I didn't have the courage to say but he said I should text them to him when I can, as he'd like to know what I'm thinking :o: Got a ********** for missing my Drs appointment on Friday and I've promised him I'll get another one arranged once I have my rota, yay. I think I just don't consider relationships in the same way as other people do - I'm far too willing to forgive people and let them walk all over me (which he doesn't want to do). Mmm.

I need my hours, can't book anything without them, I hate weekly rotas!
:hugs: That's nice. Please make sure you book another appointment, getting help will, well, help. :o: As for the relationships thing: is that better or worse than distancing yourself and never getting close to anyone? I think most relationships tend to be a little messed up - nobody's perfect, but that you're willing to forgive people shows what a lovely and caring person you are.

---

Okay I need more sleep haha, I can barely sting a coherent sentence together.
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Aemiliana
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#6440
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#6440
Why do antidepressants have so many side effects? Admittedly I've not been on many other medications before but they do seem to cause a lot. They do calm down after a few weeks though, right? I guess if they do what they're supposed to, I don't care.

I'm still refusing to go to sleep before dawn. Hell, the way I'm feeling right now, I'm going to avoid sleep for as long as possible. I've really got to stop getting stressy and clenching my jaw when I think about sleep (another reason not to sleep: when I'm stressed, I spend the entire night clenching my jaw). Urgh. Why do we have to sleep?

Okay, enough stupid, whiney ramblings from me. Anyone else still up? How are you?
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