Depression Society MKIII

I think things must be like buses - the whole either none or many thing.

Well conversely, had you failed then you may feel that you were a 'failure', still sat by yourself not speaking to anyone etc. Try to work with what you have and focus on that fact that despite all the **** thrown at you, you're going to pass. Those buses will come soon enough.

Okay, now I'm fed up of speaking in metaphors

If I don't get a high grade on exams I feel like a failure anyway, so if I just scrape a pass on all of them I'll feel like **** for both reasons. I do not want to go back to university, I hate it. From October to end of June I cried at least 5 times a week every week. Made some acquaintances in my halls but they've left now so going to be even more alone. All that seems to happen when I'm there is that I feel even worse. Why am I paying so much to feel even worse? University is meant to be fun yet I can't stand it. Meh, **** it, 2 week wait until I find out results anyway.

How're you? Feeling any better about sleeping tonight?

I do the same, but I have to say, given the way my head is now, even 100% feels like a failure to me. So if you're anything like me, just ignore it it's irrational. I hope things improve for you Surely next year means new people, so a chance to get to know people you may get along with?

Not really, I don't want to but I'm starting to feel tired all ready. I know as soon as I'm in bed trying to sleep I'll go into panic mode Not that I have enough energy to panic of course

That's what I've said every year and it's never worked. New people simply means another chance to **** everything up again. I'm fairly sure it's actually something intrinsically wrong with me; my personality, appearance and interests they all put people off me. Well, it's either me, or it's the entire population of Britain bar one person, so I know which one is more likely.

You could try doing a monster staying awake marathon? Not too good for you but if you stayed up for days when you do fall asleep you'd probably be so tired that panic wouldn't set in. Though that doesn't really solve anything I guess and possibly isn't a good idea.... An alternative might be trying to relax loads before bed, like a bath with candles and smelly stuff and a nice magazine or book so you get in the mood for bed and it might hold off the panic. I don't know if that would work. If not you could go down the sabertooth route which is neck a load of sleeping pills and then it's impossible not to fall asleep.

It's your depression saying that though I have to admit, most of the population of Britain are idiots/douchebags. How're things going with the psychiatrist?

Hmm, I might. It's just that I already feel really tired, but I'm really awake at the same time... It's odd but it means that I find it even more difficult to sleep yet it's hard to stay awake. Okay, that makes no sense. The last few times I had a bath and tried to relax, I ended up having panic attack I think if I went to bed early, I'd be fine, but it's probably already too late for that

my exams are over. but that hasn't changed my depression albeit i do feel glad.


i did go to the doctors and write everything down and it was an extremely sad tale and i cried and cried yet still no one has taken it seriously. maybe if i died they might. gr.

I've never really been a popular person, they did a personality disorder test on me so I think people also agree with me that I'm the problem. Not see psychiatrist since last time, not seeing her for aaaaaaaaages. Might see another one for a second opinion still trying to decide.


I think it kind of makes sense.... I've felt really tired before yet at the same time can't sleep or keep still. It's a pretty ****** feeling. Ok maybe not a bath, they don't work for everyone, is there anything else that relaxes you? My CPN always used to suggest relaxation techniques and relaxing music etc but never worked for me, might be worth a go if you're desperate. You can get loads of stuff about it online. Maybe you just need something to fill your mind so that it doesn't get a chance to panic, yet not something that will wake you up more or make you feel bad.

slept for another 3 hours last night. Went to sleep around 5-6 and awoke just before 9. Am physically exhausted, mentally tensions are high and I feel like crying constantly. Just had a little sob. Am massively comfort eating.

Don't focus on the eating, it's probably not as much as you think. Have you told your GP that your sleep isn't good?

yeah,eating worries are not helping. Am phoning GP tomorrow hopefully

slept for another 3 hours last night. Went to sleep around 5-6 and awoke just before 9. Am physically exhausted, mentally tensions are high and I feel like crying constantly. Just had a little sob. Am massively comfort eating.

Is it problems getting to sleep or staying asleep?

If it makes you feel better, ANYONE who has very little sleep feels tense, tired, gets irritable/upset easily and tends to "comfort eat" as the body wants tends towards weight gaining habits.

Why not tell him that?

Thanks, that does help. Probably not helpful is over for a week I have been fighting with my own emotions to eat more than 500 calories a day and anything with complex carbs so my energy levels are awful. I have just slept for another 2.5 hours but before then made a meal and scaled my leg quite badly so sleep was very uncomfortable. I HAVE to sleep on a side and one side is my injured elbow and the other was my now burnt leg. Didn't know whether to laugh or cry

Spoke with him today... We pretty much agreed that we get along too well to go our separate ways, and that it would have ended come September anyway. There's a few things I didn't have the courage to say but he said I should text them to him when I can, as he'd like to know what I'm thinking Got a ********** for missing my Drs appointment on Friday and I've promised him I'll get another one arranged once I have my rota, yay. I think I just don't consider relationships in the same way as other people do - I'm far too willing to forgive people and let them walk all over me (which he doesn't want to do). Mmm.

I need my hours, can't book anything without them, I hate weekly rotas!