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    (Original post by Saffie)
    Thanks for your reply.
    What did you do all day when you were there?

    -
    arghh bored and fed up. Damn.
    I read many many Agatha Christie books, knitted, listened to my ipod, made and drank endless cups of tea, and cried. There was also an activity room where you could go and do arts and crafts, and they had a computer you could use the internet on. A lot of patients just sat and watched telly all day though.
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    Hi all,

    I am quite possibly slipping into depression. I think at the moment I'm just having a stage of feeling blue, but I am worried it will develop something worse. Ok, now for a rant about my life: I'm not popular. I have 2 friends who I see out of school. I have gone to a few parties that people have at school, but literally only 1 or 2. So, therefore I end up feeling lonely during holidays and I've got a gap year coming up and I just can't imagine the boredom. I'm planning on getting a job and what not, but there will be months at home doing nothing. And, well, I just got my IB results and am really upset about it. I severely underperformed and will probably have to retake a few subjects. These past few weeks I literally do nothing. I watch TV all day or go on the computer, because I simply have no life. I end up staying on the computer sometimes throughout the night into the morning. This is only very recently, since I have nothing to do. As for my family, they're very loving but I don't really like them/I don't connect with them. I don't feel like I have any guidance or motivation in my life and if it carries on like this and if I do badly in my retakes I may just kill myself. I know these sound like relatively tame problems in comparison to other posts I've read but I would appreciate any words of wisdom/help.

    Thanks (sorry about the length)
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I read many many Agatha Christie books, knitted, listened to my ipod, made and drank endless cups of tea, and cried. There was also an activity room where you could go and do arts and crafts, and they had a computer you could use the internet on. A lot of patients just sat and watched telly all day though.
    I think I'd do similar, although I don't know how to knit. I really feel for you having to go there :hugs:
    How're you getting on now?
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    I think I'd do similar, although I don't know how to knit. I really feel for you having to go there :hugs:
    How're you getting on now?
    I'm doing ok, definitely better than when I was in hospital, but still pretty miserable.

    Remember that doctors only send people into hospital as a last resort. So even though it's scary having your doctor mention the possibility, it doesn't mean that you'll definitely end up there. Hopefully you won't need to go.
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    Saw a friend today. It was nice to talk to someone in real life other than my parents but I still feel miserable. I've also now said (because I was feeling brave) that I'll go to a meal with some friends, go see a production some of my friends are doing, meet up with some friends this summer and go back to work. Far too much in one day! I'm dreading it all now, I have to leave the house and make sure I get enough sleep etc. And cars will be involved in some of these, not great with them, so will people I don't know in crowded spaces... Yay, panic attacks. :nothing:
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    Feeling **** tonight, was knackered today but convinced to not have a nap. Thought yes, early night at quarter to nine and body decided this was a nap and woke me up at 10.45 ffs. Also eaten way more than I would of liked to today(and Sunday....and MOnday)and am weighing in tomorrow I wish my mum stayed longer today, feeling alone and powerless is such a terrifying and constant feeling at the moment. I just want this to go away. Also seen a job on jobcentre plus website which I could probably easily get and now I'm torn as me and the bf are having some money troubles. Is it worth going back to college when right now my heart isnt in it. I'm so rubbish. Why do I waste oxygen.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    Feeling **** tonight, was knackered today but convinced to not have a nap. Thought yes, early night at quarter to nine and body decided this was a nap and woke me up at 10.45 ffs. Also eaten way more than I would of liked to today(and Sunday....and MOnday)and am weighing in tomorrow I wish my mum stayed longer today, feeling alone and powerless is such a terrifying and constant feeling at the moment. I just want this to go away. Also seen a job on jobcentre plus website which I could probably easily get and now I'm torn as me and the bf are having some money troubles. Is it worth going back to college when right now my heart isnt in it. I'm so rubbish. Why do I waste oxygen.
    :hugs: You're not rubbish, don't say that about yourself. People love and care for you, that alone is worth far more oxygen than you need. :p: Try to ignore the food thing, you know you have to eat, not eating enough only makes you feel worse :console:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: You're not rubbish, don't say that about yourself. People love and care for you, that alone is worth far more oxygen than you need. :p: Try to ignore the food thing, you know you have to eat, not eating enough only makes you feel worse :console:
    amen to that...after hurting my arm (last sat) I was eating ~500 cals a day but am being sensible now and eating around 1000(which is my ideal amount when I'm trying to shift lbs). Running is keeping me sane atm.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    amen to that...after hurting my arm (last sat) I was eating ~500 cals a day but am being sensible now and eating around 1000(which is my ideal amount when I'm trying to shift lbs). Running is keeping me sane atm.
    :hugs: You need to eat more than that though, especially if you're doing exercise. Really you need around half of that again. Don't ruin your insides for something on the outside that was likely never there. Running is tough work, so try to eat more if you can.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: You need to eat more than that though, especially if you're doing exercise. Really you need around half of that again. Don't ruin your insides for something on the outside that was likely never there. Running is tough work, so try to eat more if you can.
    I will try :hugs:
    krisp rolls are great!
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    (Original post by sauce)
    I will try :hugs:
    krisp rolls are great!
    :hugs:

    :coma: They look good.

    ---

    I'm actually looking forward to work on Friday (I never did quit, and I wasn't fired, my mother called in sick for me whilst I had a nervous breakdown over it ), I'll have money again. :moon:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs:

    :coma: They look good.

    ---

    I'm actually looking forward to work on Friday (I never did quit, and I wasn't fired, my mother called in sick for me whilst I had a nervous breakdown over it ), I'll have money again. :moon:
    Aww cool, what do you do for work?
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    (Original post by sauce)
    Aww cool, what do you do for work?
    I just work in someone's house as a cleaner. I get paid quite a bit below the average for a cleaner though :sad:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I just work in someone's house as a cleaner. I get paid quite a bit below the average for a cleaner though :sad:
    job is a job.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    job is a job.
    Yeah I know. My boss is unlikely to be able to find a replacement for me at the price she pays though.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    Feeling **** tonight, was knackered today but convinced to not have a nap. Thought yes, early night at quarter to nine and body decided this was a nap and woke me up at 10.45 ffs. Also eaten way more than I would of liked to today(and Sunday....and MOnday)and am weighing in tomorrow I wish my mum stayed longer today, feeling alone and powerless is such a terrifying and constant feeling at the moment. I just want this to go away. Also seen a job on jobcentre plus website which I could probably easily get and now I'm torn as me and the bf are having some money troubles. Is it worth going back to college when right now my heart isnt in it. I'm so rubbish. Why do I waste oxygen.
    If your heart isn't in it it will be a lot harder to get motivated and really put in the work required. Especially if you have depression alongside (though proper working isn't a piece of cake with depression either....). I'm not saying you shouldn't give going back to college a go, but you shouldn't feel like you have to do it now. The opportunity will, in all likelihood, still be there later.





    Been feeling pretty **** all day, did manage to do a fair amount of running which is great though the 4 hour headache afterwards wasn't so good. Just made an incredible chicken curry, didn't have 3/4s of the ingredients so improvised with banana, raisins and cream. I find cooking is a pretty good way of feeling better, it's not about the eating more the creative aspect. :p:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Been feeling pretty **** all day, did manage to do a fair amount of running which is great though the 4 hour headache afterwards wasn't so good. Just made an incredible chicken curry, didn't have 3/4s of the ingredients so improvised with banana, raisins and cream. I find cooking is a pretty good way of feeling better, it's not about the eating more the creative aspect. :p:
    :coma: I'm going to have to go get myself some curry as soon as it's socially acceptable for me to be having breakfast now.

    :hugs:

    ---

    I can't sleep. I don't even feel tired, just hungry and I can't go downstairs to get food until 7 :sad:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :coma: I'm going to have to go get myself some curry as soon as it's socially acceptable for me to be having breakfast now.

    :hugs:

    ---

    I can't sleep. I don't even feel tired, just hungry and I can't go downstairs to get food until 7 :sad:
    Mmm curry for breakfast :p:

    I take it you can't go downstairs because of your parents? Not helpful for now, but for in future you could put a small pack of biscuits or something in your room? (I say small because it doesn't feel as bad then if you eat all of them in a ridiculously short space of time). As for now, could you maybe play online games? Or just read random wikipedia pages. TSR is dead at this time.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Mmm curry for breakfast :p:

    I take it you can't go downstairs because of your parents? Not helpful for now, but for in future you could put a small pack of biscuits or something in your room? (I say small because it doesn't feel as bad then if you eat all of them in a ridiculously short space of time). As for now, could you maybe play online games? Or just read random wikipedia pages. TSR is dead at this time.
    Haha, my favourite thing for breakfast! Takeaway curry with stale popadoms is the best, but we don't have that :sad:

    Yeah, my dad gets arsey about people being up before him :rolleyes: I used to do that, but getting to a shop to buy them is a pain in the arse. I might have to get some on Friday though if this carries on.

    Haha, I know - why does TSR have to be so dead? And all my insomniac friends are asleep :sad:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Haha, my favourite thing for breakfast! Takeaway curry with stale popadoms is the best, but we don't have that :sad:

    Yeah, my dad gets arsey about people being up before him :rolleyes: I used to do that, but getting to a shop to buy them is a pain in the arse. I might have to get some on Friday though if this carries on.

    Haha, I know - why does TSR have to be so dead? And all my insomniac friends are asleep :sad:
    Takeaway curry is good but so expensive. I find if you make it yourself you can make loads for hardly any money at all. Plus it freezes well. And curry is a good breakfast, well, no worse than full English. :p: Especially with popadoms. :drool:

    If you don't want to go to the shop you could smuggle small amounts of various goodies out of the kitchen each time you go in there, put them all in a box under your bed and voilà; breakfast!

    Yeah it's annoying how there's never anyone online at this time, in a way though it's kind of fun, sort of omg I have the internet to myself.
 
 
 
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