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    (Original post by sauce)
    I just had a shower and a MASSIVE moth flew itno my face and I had a massive panic attack and statred crying and screaming ...
    Ugh HATE moths! They always seem to lurk in bathrooms...I reckon they are pervs reincarnated :mad:

    Things have been going pretty well for me, managed to pass first year but I'm still getting minor panic attacks from time to time and loosing my appetite...food just makes me...bllahh. I have no desire to eat but I do it for the sake of surviving and my family keep going on about how much weight I've lost, its annoying me!
    I'm trying hard not to let someone close to me potentially cause me to have a break down. I know I shouldn't place my happiness/expectations in people but...I'm just wondering why some people are just determined to hurt you. Somethings telling me that things aren't right and I should just quit while I'm ahead but I have a hard time letting go. I don't know what to do. Its like I'm not meant to be happy, like I don't deserve it. I'm fed up of being taken for a ride and I'm fed up of never feeling good enough....ughh you give and you give and all you get in return is ****** lemons, maybe I don't want to make lemonade!!! :mad:

    Sorry....rant over...just feel like I'm going to explode if I have to keep up this act of everything being ok for any longer!
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Ugh HATE moths! They always seem to lurk in bathrooms...I reckon they are pervs reincarnated :mad:

    Things have been going pretty well for me, managed to pass first year but I'm still getting minor panic attacks from time to time and loosing my appetite...food just makes me...bllahh. I have no desire to eat but I do it for the sake of surviving and my family keep going on about how much weight I've lost, its annoying me!
    I'm trying hard not to let someone close to me potentially cause me to have a break down. I know I shouldn't place my happiness/expectations in people but...I'm just wondering why some people are just determined to hurt you. Somethings telling me that things aren't right and I should just quit while I'm ahead but I have a hard time letting go. I don't know what to do. Its like I'm not meant to be happy, like I don't deserve it. I'm fed up of being taken for a ride and I'm fed up of never feeling good enough....ughh you give and you give and all you get in return is ****** lemons, maybe I don't want to make lemonade!!! :mad:

    Sorry....rant over...just feel like I'm going to explode if I have to keep up this act of everything being ok for any longer!
    :hugs: thanks
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    How do you people get through when you feel like driving your car into a wall at 90mph, and I mean seriously considering it.

    I hate doctors and I don't know what to do .
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    How do you people get through when you feel like driving your car into a wall at 90mph, and I mean seriously considering it.

    I hate doctors and I don't know what to do .
    You have to just find something to distract yourself and let it pass. All you can do tbh :hugs:
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    How do you people get through when you feel like driving your car into a wall at 90mph, and I mean seriously considering it.

    I hate doctors and I don't know what to do .
    Thats why I did not drive today.
    TV can distract, mindless, mindles tv mind like family guy, simpsons etc.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    1) Headphones do damage your ears... but not noticeably. Do you have the clip on ones or the in ear ones? Having music too loud will make your ear drum hurt for a while after turning it off but won't leave anything for the docs to see, if you get me.
    2) I get them too, that's why I don't run, I swim instead. Much lower impact :yy: Just a natural jarring against the surface you run on. If you run too hard and fast on concrete then you could end up with concussion in your legs (sounds stupid, but leads to splints and ****, and really hurts) etc.
    3) Sounds like your laptop has an issue, doesn't it already have an issue with the screen?

    Just my tuppence chick :hugs:

    --

    I had an awful nights sleep last night, sleep paralysis and then tossing and turning, I had a mini panic attack because I was too hot, and then a nightmare about work when I did finally get to sleep. :rolleyes:
    Thanks for the suggestions but it's not just the things I mentioned there is loads and loads of evidence, the things mentioned were just yesterday! Every day new things happen. I don't think the ear pain is caused by listening to music too loud because it hurts 70% of the day when I'm not listening to music, listening to music just makes it worse. Also, I don't have my music overly loud nor go to clubs where they play music way too loud or anything else which might have damaged my hearing.

    Would try swimming but I'm too fat right now and therefore too self conscious to go swimming around other people, but if I could run for a few weeks then I might be able to go swimming. I've been running on softer surfaces than concrete which is why I'm pretty sure it's them ******* with me. I used to run for hours no problem, now I can't even run for a minute without pain.

    Game works today. Despite me not changing any settings or any programs or anything, how does it not work for days for no reason then suddenly work right after I mention it on the internet where they can see? What a perfect way to **** with me.


    I hate sleeping when it's hot. Do you have one of those desk fans perhaps? Just sleep with one of those pointed at you. If you're worried about power usage then you could put it on a timer.
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    **** why am I so unstable? was doing so well, so damn well and then my tower comes tumbling down. I want to cry but I'm afraid that if I start I wont be able to stop, well I'm off to be now so I can have a good old sob without being disturbed. Oh....poo! I don't have anyone to blame but myself, I've messed up...AGAIN!
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    (Original post by Loz17)
    You have to just find something to distract yourself and let it pass. All you can do tbh :hugs:
    (Original post by sauce)
    Thats why I did not drive today.
    TV can distract, mindless, mindles tv mind like family guy, simpsons etc.
    Thank you both for replying.

    I was just wondering what you would do in my situation.

    I seem to have periods where I feel **** and suicidal and then I can go too a month off cheerfulness and start planning my life ahead and stuff.

    I went to the doctors, and well I was so soo nervous and tbh I really didn't like her. I had to fill in this questionaire and I was soo nervous I really didn't think about the boxes I ticked and so I got a result as borderline. But this is for example for the question "How much does your depression affect your life?" putting 0 out of 4 when infact my attendence at college and lack of results I would account a chunk of. So yeah I went back 2 weeks later as she said and I was suppost to go back 2 weeks later again, but I just don't see the point because it changes absolutly nothing.

    I once half arsed tried to drug myself but my dad walked in with me having 100 pills in a cup :o:. I don't think he takes me seriously, thinks its an act for attension. I mean if you saw your kid in the middle of doing that, you get them help? Not him..

    Anything I look at, or any tests I take points to me having bi-polar but I don't want to tell that to a doctor because obv they know more than me. I just wish I could sit down with one for 5 minutes without being nervous or whatever and just spill what I really feel.

    This is probably riddled with spelling mistakes but the spell check wont work and im dyslexic so im sorry .
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    Oh dear God. I cant cope :cry:, feel so inadequeate, anxious, self concious.. cant even do anything right anymore, always thinking about other people judging me. Doesn't help most of my friends keep letting me down. Feel so confused, dont know what to do... :cry: Guess ill just lock myself in my room and distract myself with a book, if i can actually concentrate.
    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    **** why am I so unstable? was doing so well, so damn well and then my tower comes tumbling down. I want to cry but I'm afraid that if I start I wont be able to stop, well I'm off to be now so I can have a good old sob without being disturbed. Oh....poo! I don't have anyone to blame but myself, I've messed up...AGAIN!
    Me too the few days have been okay (except for friday but i had a good reason to be upset) and i thought i was actually improving.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Thank you both for replying.

    I was just wondering what you would do in my situation.

    I seem to have periods where I feel **** and suicidal and then I can go too a month off cheerfulness and start planning my life ahead and stuff.

    I went to the doctors, and well I was so soo nervous and tbh I really didn't like her. I had to fill in this questionaire and I was soo nervous I really didn't think about the boxes I ticked and so I got a result as borderline. But this is for example for the question "How much does your depression affect your life?" putting 0 out of 4 when infact my attendence at college and lack of results I would account a chunk of. So yeah I went back 2 weeks later as she said and I was suppost to go back 2 weeks later again, but I just don't see the point because it changes absolutly nothing.

    I once half arsed tried to drug myself but my dad walked in with me having 100 pills in a cup :o:. I don't think he takes me seriously, thinks its an act for attension. I mean if you saw your kid in the middle of doing that, you get them help? Not him..

    Anything I look at, or any tests I take points to me having bi-polar but I don't want to tell that to a doctor because obv they know more than me. I just wish I could sit down with one for 5 minutes without being nervous or whatever and just spill what I really feel.

    This is probably riddled with spelling mistakes but the spell check wont work and im dyslexic so im sorry .
    Are you particuarly close to any teacher at school/college? sounds silly but may help to speak to someone at school/college who you like and trust and they can seek further help. Unfortunately parents can be that way sometimes, funnily enough a lot of the time they're trying to bury their head in the sand over the severity of the situation.
    I'm the same as you, certain things can trigger me into a horrible state of depression which can last for months and months it can be a tiny thing or a massive thing so annoying.
    Doctors can be very useless especially if you dont find the right one but if you can find the strength maybe try to go back? It might be easier to write down how you feel, or document a blog over a week or so recoridng your emotions and feelings on a day to day basis and how they affect your life. Don't worry about spelling mistakes, we're all friends here, i hope things get better.
    (Original post by CertifiedAngel)
    words
    Ugh, can relate to that completely whenever i go out i am so paranod about people looking at me and stuff tis so nasty and atm im just so fat and disgusting too which hardly helps.
    Hope this passes soon for you and you find suitable distractions.


    Atm i just feel so **** have a college interview on thursday adn not even sure if i should bother going as I have no motivation atm with no job and no future and everythings going wrong and soon we may have no income at all. everything is ******, i feel so aggressive i feel like going out and hurting people
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Thank you both for replying.

    I was just wondering what you would do in my situation.

    I seem to have periods where I feel **** and suicidal and then I can go too a month off cheerfulness and start planning my life ahead and stuff.

    I went to the doctors, and well I was so soo nervous and tbh I really didn't like her. I had to fill in this questionaire and I was soo nervous I really didn't think about the boxes I ticked and so I got a result as borderline. But this is for example for the question "How much does your depression affect your life?" putting 0 out of 4 when infact my attendence at college and lack of results I would account a chunk of. So yeah I went back 2 weeks later as she said and I was suppost to go back 2 weeks later again, but I just don't see the point because it changes absolutly nothing.

    I once half arsed tried to drug myself but my dad walked in with me having 100 pills in a cup :o:. I don't think he takes me seriously, thinks its an act for attension. I mean if you saw your kid in the middle of doing that, you get them help? Not him..

    Anything I look at, or any tests I take points to me having bi-polar but I don't want to tell that to a doctor because obv they know more than me. I just wish I could sit down with one for 5 minutes without being nervous or whatever and just spill what I really feel.

    This is probably riddled with spelling mistakes but the spell check wont work and im dyslexic so im sorry .
    I had to do the whole going back in 2 weeks thing - it's to check that you haven't gotten worse etc. Through going back I got referred to a CPN and then a psychiatrist and I'm now on antidepressants and waiting for talking therapy so it does change stuff and give you the chance to be happy again. :console:

    Try practising the conversation in your head/write it down and hand it the GP.
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    I am such a **** driver, it's pretty depressing . I have no idea when I will be even close to test standard, and it looks like this could well be another thing I fail at in life :nothing:
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    I am such a **** driver, it's pretty depressing . I have no idea when I will be even close to test standard, and it looks like this could well be another thing I fail at in life :nothing:
    It's not a race. Just keep practising until you feel more confident behind the wheel. You will get there in the end
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    (Original post by Sam...)
    It's not a race. Just keep practising until you feel more confident behind the wheel. You will get there in the end
    Aww, thanks . I will keep on trying. It's just a little frustrating that after about 15 lessons, I'm still making loads of stupid mistakes, getting extra nervous on the busy main roads and having my instructor telling me a lot of things that I should be able to remember by now. I'm currently learning on manual, and I asked him recently if he thinks I may be better on automatic, and he said that automatic still has steering and brake pedals, two of the many things I am bad at, so it wouldn't really make much difference changing cars :sigh:. Oh well, must keep calm and carry on :yep:
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    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    Aww, thanks . I will keep on trying. It's just a little frustrating that after about 15 lessons, I'm still making loads of stupid mistakes, getting extra nervous on the busy main roads and having my instructor telling me a lot of things that I should be able to remember by now. I'm currently learning on manual, and I asked him recently if he thinks I may be better on automatic, and he said that automatic still has steering and brake pedals, two of the many things I am bad at, so it wouldn't really make much difference changing cars :sigh:. Oh well, must keep calm and carry on :yep:
    15 lessons isnt enougb to say you're rubbish at all! I had many, many lessons more than that but did pass first time with only 4 minors so just keep on trucking. Try to relax during your lessons and let go when you make a mistake.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    15 lessons isnt enougb to say you're rubbish at all! I had many, many lessons more than that but did pass first time with only 4 minors so just keep on trucking. Try to relax during your lessons and let go when you make a mistake.
    Hmm, I suppose so. My instructor was telling me that I haven't made enough progress for that amount of lessons, that's the thing. Ah well, I suppose if it's still a little amount, there's no point in giving up yet, eh? Thanks for the encouragement, I will keep on trying :yep:
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    For ***** sake, nothing ever stays right around here. My new phone is broken, my new camera has a cracked screen, my new laptop decides randomly to shut off. I know I'm whinging about nothing but it just feels like I can never have anything run smoothly.

    Work tonight. GAH. :cry:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Thanks for the suggestions but it's not just the things I mentioned there is loads and loads of evidence, the things mentioned were just yesterday! Every day new things happen. I don't think the ear pain is caused by listening to music too loud because it hurts 70% of the day when I'm not listening to music, listening to music just makes it worse. Also, I don't have my music overly loud nor go to clubs where they play music way too loud or anything else which might have damaged my hearing.

    Would try swimming but I'm too fat right now and therefore too self conscious to go swimming around other people, but if I could run for a few weeks then I might be able to go swimming. I've been running on softer surfaces than concrete which is why I'm pretty sure it's them ******* with me. I used to run for hours no problem, now I can't even run for a minute without pain.

    Game works today. Despite me not changing any settings or any programs or anything, how does it not work for days for no reason then suddenly work right after I mention it on the internet where they can see? What a perfect way to **** with me.


    I hate sleeping when it's hot. Do you have one of those desk fans perhaps? Just sleep with one of those pointed at you. If you're worried about power usage then you could put it on a timer.
    Who are 'they'? Tbh I don't think there is anyone trying to mess with you, things go wrong for everyone all the time and its just unlucky.
    Everyday people crash their cars, get burgled, lose their jobs, bump into people they dont want to see, lose things, burn their dinner, get their electricity turned off etc.

    Maybe lots of things are going wrong for you but it's extremely unlikely to be because anyone's working against you. Perhaps it just shows that you're relying on a few things too much, so if your shins hurt or game doesnt work, it affects you too much?
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    Okay, so you all seem to be a nice bunch of people so I've decided to come back and post...

    Yesterday and today, all I've wanted to do is sleep, all day. I'm not bothered about eating, I just want to sleep, I also feel like crying, but I can't.

    *hugs* to all
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    (Original post by Justeen910)
    Okay, so you all seem to be a nice bunch of people so I've decided to come back and post...

    Yesterday and today, all I've wanted to do is sleep, all day. I'm not bothered about eating, I just want to sleep, I also feel like crying, but I can't.

    *hugs* to all
    Exact same here, I just want to go back to bed and cry too.
    *Hugs*
 
 
 
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