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    (Original post by fire2burn)
    Congrats for lasting a week, surprised anyone is willing to put up with such a nasty medication. I know exactly why the psych wanted me on it, because it's good at sedating people. But I don't want to be sedated, and I definitely ain't going to take it lying down.

    As for going in voluntarily rather than against my own will, what would one have to say. Hey ho I'm volunteering, don't section me unless you want this to kick off?
    I think the only reason I lasted a week was that it ****** my mind up so much that it didn't actually occur to me to stop taking it. :o:

    I dunno, I suppose something along the lines of 'please don't section me, I'll come quietly'. When I went into hospital my GP told me she thought I'd have to go and I agreed, so off I went.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Maybe talk things through with the doctor and explain that you're finding the side effects unbearable? There has to be something else out there. :console:
    I think everything really is unbearable or has too much risk of me using it to off myself. Risperidone has less side effects but was apparently too toxic if I tried to OD as has happened in the past, olanzapine already tried, Clozapine is apparently dangerous anyway and a last resort drug, and older drugs have worse side effects.

    I just hate how every single one messes your concentration up. Can't even read or watch tv when I take them because words just don't make sense, don't connect.
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    I don't want tomorrow. I don't want tomorrow. I don't want tomorrow.

    I just want to go back to the middle of June, it was so perfect, no-one was dead, I had someone who loved me, I didn't have these freaking thoughts flying around, I had motivation. I was doing ok. ****. I was doing better than ever.

    :cry:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I don't want tomorrow. I don't want tomorrow. I don't want tomorrow.

    I just want to go back to the middle of June, it was so perfect, no-one was dead, I had someone who loved me, I didn't have these freaking thoughts flying around, I had motivation. I was doing ok. ****. I was doing better than ever.

    :cry:
    Unfortunately tomorrow always comes, but generally giving it a good kicking puts it back in its place. Probably a more tactful phrase out there but brain is mush at the moment sorry.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I don't want tomorrow. I don't want tomorrow. I don't want tomorrow.

    I just want to go back to the middle of June, it was so perfect, no-one was dead, I had someone who loved me, I didn't have these freaking thoughts flying around, I had motivation. I was doing ok. ****. I was doing better than ever.

    :cry:
    :console: You seem to be going through a really rough patch and maybe things will get better again in time? Sorry :hugs:
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I think the only reason I lasted a week was that it ****** my mind up so much that it didn't actually occur to me to stop taking it. :o:

    I dunno, I suppose something along the lines of 'please don't section me, I'll come quietly'. When I went into hospital my GP told me she thought I'd have to go and I agreed, so off I went.
    Ah so you were pretty zombified then? Did it take you long to recover after stopping it?

    Hmmm striking deals isn't my strongest point, will have to see what they want to do I guess.
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    (Original post by fire2burn)
    I think everything really is unbearable or has too much risk of me using it to off myself. Risperidone has less side effects but was apparently too toxic if I tried to OD as has happened in the past, olanzapine already tried, Clozapine is apparently dangerous anyway and a last resort drug, and older drugs have worse side effects.

    I just hate how every single one messes your concentration up. Can't even read or watch tv when I take them because words just don't make sense, don't connect.
    :console: I hope you find something that does help :hugs:

    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I don't want tomorrow. I don't want tomorrow. I don't want tomorrow.

    I just want to go back to the middle of June, it was so perfect, no-one was dead, I had someone who loved me, I didn't have these freaking thoughts flying around, I had motivation. I was doing ok. ****. I was doing better than ever.

    :cry:
    :hugs: What's tomorrow?
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I don't want tomorrow. I don't want tomorrow. I don't want tomorrow.

    I just want to go back to the middle of June, it was so perfect, no-one was dead, I had someone who loved me, I didn't have these freaking thoughts flying around, I had motivation. I was doing ok. ****. I was doing better than ever.

    :cry:
    Unfortunately tomorrow will always come, it ******* sucks.
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    Ive Had ******* Enough. Im A Good Person.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: What's tomorrow?
    My friends (Poppy) funeral.

    My friggin' mother forgot. She had a massive, massive go at me yesterday and I ended up going round a friends because I just could not sit with her shouting at me constantly for every single little thing I'd not done properly. I spent the day avoiding her and avoiding getting myself upset at Rs house* and she phoned me up and I had to shout down the phone to her that I was going to Norfolk tomorrow and staying over night for the funeral, and she got all upset about it. I spent the evening with other mates but we were all grumpy and pissed off one of the group... Now I'm at home trying vainly to finish a video memorial that we can watch tomorrow night but it just seems so contrite and pointless. Poppy's best mate just rather rudely pointed out to me that it's not going to be shown in the service so there's little point in finishing it.

    I'm so tired, I got up at 6 to go to work at 8am this morning, nearly got myself sacked because the tosser of a duty manager took offence to the fact that I shrugged when he was shouting at me for not serving a piping hot latte to his boss - Well if I'd bloody known it was his boss, I'd have made it piping hot and with sprinkles on top, *******. Besides, one fat old guy in a suit getting a slightly cold coffee is the least of my problems right now. I felt like screaming 'I'm BURYING my sodding friend tomorrow ********' but that would definitely have got me sacked, and possibly led to me hitting him, and worse.

    *We talked about lots of stuff, basically came to the conclusion that I really need to go and see my GP, he's having CBT himself and showed me something on being a passive person, it pretty much sums me up perfectly and all the disordered thoughts and bad assumptions I make. I'm scared ********.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    Ive Had ******* Enough. Im A Good Person.
    :hugs: Wanna talk sweetie? I won't be getting much sleep tonight.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    :hugs: Wanna talk sweetie? I won't be getting much sleep tonight.
    I will PM in a bit :lovehug:
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    Exams tomorrow and tues and I'm really scared. And I'm not looking forward to them being over cause I dont want to drink and thats all everyone else will do so I'll just go home.
    You don't need to drink to have fun out! I find it hilarious when I drive and people are wasted out there face and you can play games on them :p:.

    ---

    I want there to be a quick fix, and there really is not. I have 80-90 asprin in my draw that I have collected, I guess as a saftey net, I feel in control.. but I don't anymore!

    Ohh and now, got told I am not as "fit" anymore by some girl haha, oh this week got topped off in style.
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    I hate it when people(not in this thread) say **** about killing themselves/suicide about such little things in their life when they're not depressed or down in the slightest like they cant afford a ******* handbag.
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    (Original post by fire2burn)
    Anyone gets offered quetiapine in the future? Don't take it. Seriously just refuse. Not as sedating as olanzapine but it messes your thoughts up badly (disconnects them) and makes your speech slurred. Dry mouth is intolerable, and so is the constant nausea. Going to tell my cpn I'm not going to take them, be fun to see how this turns out tomorrow. Whether they'll go ahead with their threat to section me.
    Dry mouth wore off for me after about 2 or 3 weeks but yes I very much agree vile awful horrible stuff.

    Hope it goes ok for you tomorrow. :console:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Dry mouth wore off for me after about 2 or 3 weeks but yes I very much agree vile awful horrible stuff.

    Hope it goes ok for you tomorrow. :console:
    maybe i should go on these. I don't want to feel anything anymore.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    I hate it when people(not in this thread) say **** about killing themselves/suicide about such little things in their life when they're not depressed or down in the slightest like they cant afford a ******* handbag.
    I guess it depends, if there ill then to them it might seem a big thing. But if your on about for attention then yes I agree.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I guess it depends, if there ill then to them it might seem a big thing. But if your on about for attention then yes I agree.
    If they're ill I sympathise, if they're an attention seeking whore like 90% of this god damn population they can suck suck a crocka ****.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    I hate it when people(not in this thread) say **** about killing themselves/suicide about such little things in their life when they're not depressed or down in the slightest like they cant afford a ******* handbag.
    I hate that. "O M G! I'm soooooo depressed my hairdresser like totally messed up my hair I said 2 inches HELLO not 2.5inches and omg like my skin is like totally breaking out today I have 2 spots! ewwww I'm so ugly and fat I put on 3lbs in the last month I should like totally kill myself"

    :facepalm:

    (Original post by sauce)
    maybe i should go on these. I don't want to feel anything anymore.
    :no: I still felt stuff on them kind of, just couldn't really think about feeling stuff.
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    If I go to my GP... am I likely to get put on tablets? Bearing in mind the previous suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, cutting (which I haven't done since fathers day, go me!) and other **** that seems to come along with severe depression...
 
 
 
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