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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    They'd figure it out. The need to be somewhere at a certain time each week? Not going to happen. Plus there'd be letters (there's always fecking letters) and if I got meds possible side effects etc. to think about. Plus I'm **** with regularity.

    Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I can't figure this out.

    Steffi, my parents know nothing... They know I went to the GP in November about it, but nothing came of that, and they've never said anything about it. I want it to stay that way.
    :hugs: They are your parents. At the end of the day, even if it's hidden away deep down, they only want you to be healthy and happy. Sure, some parents have an odd way of showing it, but they do. You need to start getting things going so that you can have a better life, if your parents have to know, they have to know.

    You can probably ask them not to send any letters though, I keep getting asked if I want reminders or not and I just say yes because otherwise I'd never turn up. The appointments will also be on different days at different times most likely. Could you say you're meeting up with a friend and get them to cover for you? :console: You need to get help, that's the way to start feeling good again.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I know you're right. I know that one day I'll look back and see how far I've come. But right now it seems like I'm in a ditch and all I can see is this massive climb out in front of me and nowhere else to go but further down backwards. :hugs: Remind me of this statement when I've got out, please?

    Can't even move out of bed to get changed into my PJs. Pathetic much.

    I need to stop the stupid, derogatory comments towards myself I piss myself off with those ones.
    I'm sad that you feel like this I'm sorry. I know words mean very little when you're in that dark place. Advice can seem empty and meaningless. You are in a ditch but remember, you don't have to climb from bottom to top in one go. There are footholds in this ditch and you only have to take one step at a time. I know 'taking one step at a time' is a clichéd suggestion but it's the only one that works for me. Sometimes, when I'm too impulsive, and try to take on too much, I feel myself falling back into that ditch. So be careful. Congratulate yourself for little things like getting out of bed, taking a shower, stepping outside. Life becomes about surviving when you feel like you do.

    You can say whatever you want, but beating yourself up and calling yourself horrible names isn't going to lift you up or make you feel better, so perhaps try not to be so negative about yourself - you're not a bad person.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I know you're right. I know that one day I'll look back and see how far I've come. But right now it seems like I'm in a ditch and all I can see is this massive climb out in front of me and nowhere else to go but further down backwards. :hugs: Remind me of this statement when I've got out, please?

    Can't even move out of bed to get changed into my PJs. Pathetic much.


    I need to stop the stupid, derogatory comments towards myself I piss myself off with those ones.
    Pfft. I do that too. My PJs=my everyday clothes. It doesn't make either of us pathetic. :hugs: And yes, you do need to stop the negative thoughts but it's good that you recognise that. :yep: You don't deserve to be thinking about yourself in this way :console:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Can't even move out of bed to get changed into my PJs. Pathetic much.
    I'm still in mine, too.
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    I love you guys so much. I'll reply when I can... But now I think I really should try and get some sleep. Even though I've now got to the point where I'm so tired that I'm terrified I'll oversleep tomorrow morning :erm:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I love you guys so much. I'll reply when I can... But now I think I really should try and get some sleep. Even though I've now got to the point where I'm so tired that I'm terrified I'll oversleep tomorrow morning :erm:
    Sleep. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Laus)
    Sleep. :hugs:
    I'll pack for tomorrow first, I think. Yeah. That's a plan.
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    So full it feels like my stomach is about to literally rupture. ****.
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    Okay, time to face my fears and try to sleep. And by that, I obviously mean: time to stay up until dawn watching DVDs. :awesome:
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    I'm getting so angry at everything, especially at this ******* computer and it's slowness I want to smash stuff, and blame someone for thies laggy co nnection
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    For ***** sake. LIFE
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Okay, time to face my fears and try to sleep. And by that, I obviously mean: time to stay up until dawn watching DVDs. :awesome:
    Wowee, dawn is like at 4:00am these days now, and I know cos I've stayed up till that time on a few nights recently (due to being addicted to the computer :facepalm2:). Very short nights indeed.

    (Original post by sauce)
    For ***** sake. LIFE
    I know exactly what you mean there. :sigh: life indeed. :hugs:
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    (Original post by sauce)
    For ***** sake. LIFE
    Whats up with your stomach?

    And have you removed any programs you don't use anymore?

    Everything will be ok
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I'll pack for tomorrow first, I think. Yeah. That's a plan.
    Where are you off to? Yeah, it's good to exhaust yourself before you sleep. I'm watching inane American TV and wishing the characters were real people. :shh:
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    (Original post by Laus)
    No one in here is screwed. I've lost count of the number of times I've felt hopeless, of the number of times I've wanted to kill myself. Each mistake I've made seems worse, each episode of depression more crippling. But the fact is I'm still here, and so are you guys. I used to despair when people told me "things will get easier", but it is likely they will. But it's not likely to happen unless you do stuff that you know has helped other people. Healing takes time. It is exhausting, I know.
    I hate drugs though, after seeing what they have done to my mum, they can section me and force feed me them before I take anything they give me.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Whats up with your stomach?

    And have you removed any programs you don't use anymore?

    Everything will be ok
    Binge eating :facepalm2:
    (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
    x
    :cry2:

    Just exploded to my bf about so much crap and stuff for an hour or so, feel so much better
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    (Original post by sauce)
    I'm getting so angry at everything, especially at this ******* computer and it's slowness I want to smash stuff, and blame someone for thies laggy co nnection
    :console: Full sympathy for that - slow computers make me want to smash things too. Bit drastic but if you reinstall windows everything should speed up a fair amount, even if the computer is pretty old. Though it takes aaaaaaages.


    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I hate drugs though, after seeing what they have done to my mum, they can section me and force feed me them before I take anything they give me.
    absolutely. Wish I'd had that attitude, never going to take them again.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    x
    it was the connection more than anything, I get so angry with companies I actually want to drive to their head office and hurt them genuinely :o: like this certain company atm I am getting sooooooo tempted to go there and scream my head off at them for being incompetent rude overpaid ******* monkey testicles.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    it was the connection more than anything, I get so angry with companies I actually want to drive to their head office and hurt them genuinely :o: like this certain company atm I am getting sooooooo tempted to go there and scream my head off at them for being incompetent rude overpaid ******* monkey testicles.
    Write them a very, very nasty letter :yep: Even if you don't send it it might help you feel a little less pissed off with them.
 
 
 
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