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    (Original post by _Andrew_)
    I'm new to this thread, however I've just returned from holiday, and I've never felt so low. During exams I concentrated so much on revision I didn't feel so low, and now, with nothing much to do, I wake up every morning with that horrible feeling of dread, in which you just want to cry.
    :hugs: Welcome to the society, where you can moan and groan and pour your heart out as much as you like. I know that feeling of dread you're talking about. Going out shopping helps me a bit, I dunno if boys are into that though? Or just doing any sort of fun activity you like might lift up your spirits a little
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    Found a way to sort out the fact that I'm not eating enough: using meal replacement shakes (my mother bought them only to discover she didn't like them :facepalm:) to add to any meals I have. I've done this today but I know I'm still not getting enough food but it's a step in the right direction :yep: Hopefully soon I can move from these and baby portions to normal sized portions and have a normal diet :facepalm:

    And again I don't want to sleep :sigh: I have to be up at around midday tomorrow but I struggled to get out of bed at half 3 today! Argh.
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    Sigh. :nothing: Spent the day feeling mostly peaceful and just... easy, I guess, appreciating friends and what I have. But now the dark mood is creeping back and I can't stop the black clouds any more. I think it's turning into a loss of emotions now.
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    I used to listen to this song, with tears falling down my face, holding my stomach and chest because I felt this crippling emptiness and anxiety in my chest almost all day, every day. I felt like I was being pushed down by a physical, all-encompassing force. I couldn't explain how I felt to anyone. I'd burst out crying for no apparent and I'd say over and over again, "I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do". I thought I'd always feel like that. But I don't feel like that anymore. I have horrific days and at times I feel like I'm slipping, but knowing that it is possible to remain stable is reassuring, to say the least. I can't guarantee that I will never feel like I used to, but it's true, things do - and can - get better. I know this may sound emo-ish, particularly to those reading this who have little to no understanding of depression, but all we can do to survive is to hold on, for ourselves and for those who love us.

    This society helped me through some very dark times; thank you.
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    (Original post by _Andrew_)
    I'm new to this thread, however I've just returned from holiday, and I've never felt so low. During exams I concentrated so much on revision I didn't feel so low, and now, with nothing much to do, I wake up every morning with that horrible feeling of dread, in which you just want to cry.
    I felt like this after my A levels. Have you thought about getting a job, even if it is part-time? Or perhaps you could volunteer? The horrible thing about feeling very low is that people often don't feel like doing anything, because everything seems hopeless and perhaps they feel tired, drained and empty. It sounds like you worked hard for your exams - well done. Revision can be exhausting when you really put in the effort. Try to keep yourself busy to prevent yourself from slipping further. Listen to music, watch uplifting films, write stories, go for walks, exercise, learn how to cook... anything, so long as you're doing something. By all means talk to us in here, but don't isolate yourself or allow yourself to slip any further than you need to. I know it's hard to take this advice; you may be in a position where you can't take this advice because you feel too depressed. But do try. After my A levels I isolated myself and didn't leave my house for months on end. Resultantly I developed an eating disorder, social anxiety and severe depression. It doesn't have to get to that stage. Work hard at keeping your spirits up. You'll probably feel like it's all for nothing to begin with but if you keep on going you may find something you enjoy and things may start to pick up. :hugs:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Sigh. :nothing: Spent the day feeling mostly peaceful and just... easy, I guess, appreciating friends and what I have. But now the dark mood is creeping back and I can't stop the black clouds any more. I think it's turning into a loss of emotions now.
    :hugs: Would something like a movie/TV show/game help to distract you from how you're feeling for a while?

    ---

    OCD and housework aren't the best things to mix. :nothing: Thankfully I sort of have it under control so didn't hoover the kitchen for a third time today :facepalm: Still got me anxious though :erm:

    I had this grand plan to be asleep by now (today I don't seem to scared to try and sleep) and get up early and do things but I can't fall asleep :sad: I'm too tired to do anything though, so I expect to spend the next 4 hours lying in the dark. At least cleaning the house today kept me too busy to think about how I feel :yep:

    Oh, forgot to mention: I'm so tired that I almost did fall asleep (this early!) but suddenly remembered exams and results day etc and now I can't sleep for panicking I'd really like a normal sleep routine back at some point. I think... I could just sleep all day and night and then I wouldn't have to do anything :moon:
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    I just went for a late night stroll and had a strange feeling of contentment. Steffi, thank you for the meditation recommendation.
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    For the past 6 months or so, I feel like I've been existing but have never really lived because I can't remember anything - I can't remember things that I did 5 minutes ago or things that happened 5, 10 years ago. It's been like I have no memories. The other day I remembered one thing that happened about 5 years ago, which was nice but tonight my mind's really taking a trip down memory lane and I'm just remembering all of these things and it's kind of annoying me now because I can't sleep because of it.

    My brain is so odd :nothing: Is this a common thing with depression (the lack of memories) or am I just ******* weird?

    Edit: I also hope that if/when my depression starts to naff off that the almost constant guilt that I'm feeling over little things/nothing goes away, it doesn't make thing any easier. This is assuming that things work :nothing:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    My brain is so odd :nothing: Is this a common thing with depression (the lack of memories) or am I just ******* weird?
    I get that, I remember very little of my childhood, on very random bits. Shame really, would be nice too remember how life was.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I get that, I remember very little of my childhood, on very random bits. Shame really, would be nice too remember how life was.
    :hugs: I'm remembering loads of my childhood tonight, it's like suddenly I've done all that and I have some of the memories again. It's kind of exhausting to have it all in one hit though :erm: As I've said to someone else, I think it might be the antidepressants kicking in and causing this maybe? If so I hope it works on all the other symptoms! :erm:

    I hope you get yours back too :console:
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    I'm gonna start taking my anti-depressants at night again, since I've changed to the morning I've not been sleeping well at night.
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    42 hours without sleep, is going to be 60 odd by the time the early morning comes round so I can try again :cry2:.
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    How can you cope?
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    I just sit around not doing much.

    My brain power, what little there is, is going down hour by hour, making a drink seems like drawing the designs for a rocket at the moment.

    Are you waking up or have you not slept yourself?
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    (Original post by _Andrew_)
    I'm new to this thread, however I've just returned from holiday, and I've never felt so low. During exams I concentrated so much on revision I didn't feel so low, and now, with nothing much to do, I wake up every morning with that horrible feeling of dread, in which you just want to cry.
    Learn an instrument? A really awesome one like drums or something you can be creative, it's something to focus on and something to wake up for and can provide a sense of achievement.

    I know the feeling you're talking about though, ergh, the thing that mostly gets me through the day is going to the gym to get super in shape - I think some kind of goal you can see results with over the summer can help take your mind off things.

    Or a video game if you're into that? The sense of achievement from totally pwning 12 year old kids is amazing.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    42 hours without sleep, is going to be 60 odd by the time the early morning comes round so I can try again :cry2:.
    whoa...you need sleep! erm...read a really boring journal article? Or take a few antihistamines :p:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    whoa...you need sleep! erm...read a really boring journal article? Or take a few antihistamines :p:
    Found some of my mums old sleeping tablets just in the draw. Lets see how it goes :p:.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Found some of my mums old sleeping tablets just in the draw. Lets see how it goes :p:.
    Might want to check the expiration date...

    Also if they're decent pills don't take a load because generally 1 should work for most people unless you're huge/addicted.

    What I mean of course is, you shouldn't take prescribed medication which is not prescribed for you. That is illegal. I in no way condone you doing that, it's bad yo. :angel:
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    I've got this piano in my house, which I hardly play anymore. I keep listening to lovely songs on my computer with wonderful piano melodies, and feel a little inspired to have a go playing them myself on the piano . Only, I have this thing of imagining doing things I'd like to do in my head, but never actually plucking up the effort to do them :erm:. I think I should stop being lazy for once though. I've never even had piano lessons before, except for learning simple keyboard tunes in Key Stage 3 lessons at school, and that's it. Still, I know enough to try.

    I also want to start drawing again. I keep looking at amazing artwork on DeviantArt, but haven't really done my own for a long time now. I guess now I have no real excuse to get bored in the summer. Maybe these activities could help channel my energy? Imma try :grin:
 
 
 
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