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    (Original post by Loz17)
    Well I went for a walk, and it felt good until I came back up into my room :cry:
    :hugs: Do you feel a little better though?
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    :hugs: I know exactly how you feel. You can only distract yourself for so long. As soon as I'm alone again, it's just back to how it was.
    Yea. Was nice out. Took the dog to the park and had a nice chat with other dog walkers. Then I got home and all the feelings came flooding back. Doesn't help when you come back to a text from the person you are trying to avoid for a bit :pain:
    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Do you feel a little better though?
    I don't feel apathetic anymore, which isn't a good thing as now I can feel the hurt :emo:
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    (Original post by sauce)
    Your mum sounds a ***** though seriously u're going through chemo ffs.
    I don't know how to describe how I feel :confused: just :dontknow:
    Thought about going for a walk or something to try think your thoughts through :hugs:?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Thought about going for a walk or something to try think your thoughts through :hugs:?
    :ditto: on this. Everything seems so much better at night as well.
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    I've been on a 4 mile walk.
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    (Original post by Loz17)
    Yea. Was nice out. Took the dog to the park and had a nice chat with other dog walkers. Then I got home and all the feelings came flooding back. Doesn't help when you come back to a text from the person you are trying to avoid for a bit :pain:

    I don't feel apathetic anymore, which isn't a good thing as now I can feel the hurt :emo:


    I guess you can only feel apathetic for a short amount of time until it all kicks in again, especially if there's something/someone in particular triggering how you're feeling. Maybe you can try to go for walks more often, though - sounds really pleasant, and at least it's some time you can spend clearing your head, even if it's not for long! Ugh, sucks about getting that text. I know it's easy to suggest trying to forget about it, but when it's the last thing you need, maybe pushing it to the back of your mind for a while isn't such a bad idea.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I have some kind of steroid that is suppost to stop some of the side effects (Don't know why steroids do..) I have never had chemo without it, so I can't say how much worse it would be without them or how much they work.

    I have a towel underneath it, but I seem to be gifted in the amount and distance of my vomit. I wonder if there is some kind of world vomiting contest, there is a world pea shooting championship, so who knows :sexface:

    I will maybe find an old beach towel which is a bit bigger and use that

    I am literally lying on the floor or my room, I yanked the charger to get my laptop to fall off my bed onto a non-sick patch. So not sure how much good an apron would do, I think the just sticking my head right in approach probably works best, my attempt of directing it has failed :p:

    Just promise me you will try sleep at some point.

    Possibly a bit late, but what about throwing up in the bath? Take your laptop with you so you're not bored. It's kind of gross trying to poke it down the drain though.....


    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    That's died down now and you're not supposed to do that apparently. I think it must be quite far back in my nose or something. I dunno. Metal grossness :teehee: But I'm too hungry now
    I didn't know you're not meant to stick tissue up your nose, do you know why?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Possibly a bit late, but what about throwing up in the bath? Take your laptop with you so you're not bored. It's kind of gross trying to poke it down the drain though.....




    I didn't know you're not meant to stick tissue up your nose, do you know why?
    I saw something on Google :teehee:

    ---

    I don't want to sleep. Hello fear of sleeping, it's been a while. Your timing is **** :nothing:
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    I think I've finally reached that point where death is the only option or real thought I have now. I don't know what to do any more. I'm just resigned to it. It took me an hour to walk home from work and every single car was a 'potential'. Now I'm wondering what's the best idea.
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    Heyyy carry on going, just try take one day at a time, you can do it :hugs:
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Heyyy carry on going, just try take one day at a time, you can do it :hugs:
    I don't want to any more.

    Pills are out, even taking two cold tablets yesterday made me wretch and feel sick for ages. I haven't got the skills to tie a sufficient noose. I could go with the wrists, but that's damn messy and I don't really have anything sharp enough. No high buildings around here. Trains/cars/buses/anything anyone else is in charge of is out as I can't justify ruining another persons life who I don't know. No access to a gun ofc. No large bodies of water. :nn:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I don't want to any more.

    Pills are out, even taking two cold tablets yesterday made me wretch and feel sick for ages. I haven't got the skills to tie a sufficient noose. I could go with the wrists, but that's damn messy and I don't really have anything sharp enough. No high buildings around here. Trains/cars/buses/anything anyone else is in charge of is out as I can't justify ruining another persons life who I don't know. No access to a gun ofc. No large bodies of water. :nn:
    How about go to sleep and see how you feel in the morning?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    How about go to sleep and see how you feel in the morning?
    The second option... not really an option... I'm too ******* pussy to do it... is to walk into my doctors surgery tomorrow and try to get an appointment (very hard) and just tell them plainly that I am a danger to myself right now.

    I think I prefer the first option. Too ******* pussy and cowardly for either though.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    The second option... not really an option... I'm too ******* pussy to do it... is to walk into my doctors surgery tomorrow and try to get an appointment (very hard) and just tell them plainly that I am a danger to myself right now.

    I think I prefer the first option. Too ******* pussy and cowardly for either though.
    I have heard stories of hangings, not nice.

    Its also hard to die from slitting your wrists.

    Do what you said and go to the doctors, go to A+E now if your really concerned :hugs:
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I have heard stories of hangings, not nice.

    Its also hard to die from slitting your wrists.

    Do what you said and go to the doctors, go to A+E now if your really concerned :hugs:
    A+E would laugh me out of the place... 'Hi! I want to die, so I've come to somewhere where you preserve life... Oh ****.'

    I'm talking to one of my friends. I hate this, I feel like I'm causing hassle. He doesn't need me being a twazzock. I should just do what I'm going to do and not involve other people.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    A+E would laugh me out of the place... 'Hi! I want to die, so I've come to somewhere where you preserve life... Oh ****.'

    I'm talking to one of my friends. I hate this, I feel like I'm causing hassle. He doesn't need me being a twazzock. I should just do what I'm going to do and not involve other people.
    No they wouldnt. They have emergency psychiatrists for such occasions.

    Please don't.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    No they wouldnt. They have emergency psychiatrists for such occasions.

    Please don't.
    Yeah, they'd ask me stupid questions that I can't answer and then decide that I'm just being an hormonal teenager again.

    I think what's changed is... I don't care what people will think any more.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Yeah, they'd ask me stupid questions that I can't answer and then decide that I'm just being an hormonal teenager again.

    I think what's changed is... I don't care what people will think any more.
    Argh I don't know what to say.

    Suicide is a big decision, there is no back button. Once its done its done. A day or a week to see if you will feel better will not harm you, but gives the chance for you not to make a decision in the heat of the moment.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Argh I don't know what to say.

    Suicide is a big decision, there is no back button. Once its done its done. A day or a week to see if you will feel better will not harm you, but gives the chance for you not to make a decision in the heat of the moment.
    I'm sorry
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I'm sorry
    No need to be sorry, just stay safe, and give yourself some time.

    You wouldn't buy a house in a day, and this is a bigger decision, give it some time :hugs:
 
 
 
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