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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    No...

    Now I feel awful, I text my friend to ask if he knew why they'd rung, he said they're hideously understaffed for tonight and are getting busy already - that's just unheard of. I feel fine within myself atm (only just taken it for today though) :sad: I hate feeling like I've let them down.
    :hugs: They can call other people in - people that may be grateful of the extra cash so actually it could do good for some people too. You haven't let them down, you're ill :console:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: They can call other people in - people that may be grateful of the extra cash so actually it could do good for some people too. You haven't let them down, you're ill :console:
    From what I can tell, they haven't - they've called me to see if I'm actually ill (presumption)... and then when I haven't answered, not bothered with anyone else. According to my friend who's there atm. I know for a fact that one of the guys I used to work with is back in the county and free tonight - so why haven't they phoned him? :erm:
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    It's interesting you bring that up, because I'm starting to go to CBT sessions atm, although they seem to be focusing on my negative thinking/low self-esteem much more atm. But yeah, making a timetable and stuff? I dunno, I guess you do have to force yourself to do things sometimes, but when you genuinely get no pleasure out of anything, it just feels like a punishment more than anything else.

    That's lovely to hear about your little trip, though. I wish I could get some sort of inspiration like that.
    I dont know about making a timetable but just deciding to do things and making sure you do them. I know what you mean about not getting any pleasure from anything although I'm starting to enjoy things again now.

    Having said that I feel rubbish tonight and want to SH :sad:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    From what I can tell, they haven't - they've called me to see if I'm actually ill (presumption)... and then when I haven't answered, not bothered with anyone else. According to my friend who's there atm. I know for a fact that one of the guys I used to work with is back in the county and free tonight - so why haven't they phoned him? :erm:
    I guess they arent really as desperate as your workmate's making out then.

    Your job seems really stressful and long hours, are you able to stop working? I dont know whether it would help but I suppose it would take the pressure off and allow you to get better faster.
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    I dont know about making a timetable but just deciding to do things and making sure you do them. I know what you mean about not getting any pleasure from anything although I'm starting to enjoy things again now.

    Having said that I feel rubbish tonight and want to SH :sad:
    :hugs: Have you tried distracting yourself with movies, computer games etc? You've had a tough year :console:
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    I dont know about making a timetable but just deciding to do things and making sure you do them. I know what you mean about not getting any pleasure from anything although I'm starting to enjoy things again now.

    Having said that I feel rubbish tonight and want to SH :sad:
    It's good to hear that you are... kind of gives me hope that at some point I'll be able to again. Even though I've been told many times and am pretty sure it's more likely to happen than not, it still feels out of reach at the minute!

    hopefully it'll pass soon enough :hugs: Escapism of some sort usually helps me, albeit temporarily.
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    Knew I spoke too soon about feeling better. My stomach hurts so much because I'm not eating properly. I get hungry but the thought of food makes me feel sick.
    I also hate being taken for granted...but its my fault...
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Knew I spoke too soon about feeling better. My stomach hurts so much because I'm not eating properly. I get hungry but the thought of food makes me feel sick.
    I also hate being taken for granted...but its my fault...
    How about smoothies/fruit juice/soups? they feel more like drinks and arent too taxing on the tummy? Neither are crackers and most fruits apart from bananas
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Have you tried distracting yourself with movies, computer games etc? You've had a tough year :console:
    I can never decide on films, I have no idea how people pick them And computer games aren't really my thing.

    I seem to be doing lots and lots of cleaning to distract myself, quite boring though.
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    I guess they arent really as desperate as your workmate's making out then.

    Your job seems really stressful and long hours, are you able to stop working? I dont know whether it would help but I suppose it would take the pressure off and allow you to get better faster.
    Probably not. We've had a problem recently with people going out and calling in sick the next day because they're hungover; I got the idea it was a little along the lines of this. Glad I didn't go, I feel crummy :o: Not feeling as sick as last night, but definitely more tired and whilst I'm still feeling pretty positive, my mood is dropping again and I can see the 'bad' thoughts are just creeping back in again.

    As much as I moan about it, I love having a job. I hate the hours, half the people I work with, various aspects of the jobs itself, even just the thought of going sometimes but equally I need the normality that it gives me. I go stir crazy if I sit around and do nothing; the feeling of being useful far outweighs the feelings when I'm there.

    I hate how ****** up and convoluted my feelings are. I noticed this on the phone this morning too, I contradict myself constantly.
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    The novelty of a neck brace goes away after about 5 minutes.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    How about smoothies/fruit juice/soups? they feel more like drinks and arent too taxing on the tummy? Neither are crackers and most fruits apart from bananas
    Yeah I think I'll have to stock up on smoothies, my energy levels are so low and my parents just think I'm being lazy as I haven't left the house.
    Thanks. Hope you are ok.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    heh yeah that face exactly

    I wonder why it keeps raining.... :flute: Baking is good, what you planning on making?
    I made cherry and almond cakes, turned out pretty good. Next I want to make these. :drool:

    Bleah, had one beer tonight and my stomach's felt like **** ever since.
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    Hello, I'm new to this thread.

    Are any members recovering from Depression? If yes, did you see a GP about your condition?
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    Camping tomorrow! Well, later this morning actually, lol. So no TSR for a week. Kinda good in a way cos I come on here way too much :ninja:. OK, I need some shut eye now :moon:. So long, mis amigos :wavey:
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I made cherry and almond cakes, turned out pretty good. Next I want to make these. :drool:

    Bleah, had one beer tonight and my stomach's felt like **** ever since.
    sounds good. Those oreo things look pretty amazing too, bah if it didn't use cocoa powder I'd have given them a go and put 3 times as much stuffing in each one Or maybe just eaten it without the cookie bit....:flute:

    Beer can be a bit funny on your stomach sometimes, especially if you haven't eaten much. :console:
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    Ah **** sleep time soon.

    5 dreams night after night about an argument with my mother then she turns into Satan and we do battle in various different places. I always manage to kill her and the methods get more gruesome every night. Wonder what it will be tonight. If I can even get to sleep, which given yesterday and the night before, is unlikely. Fantastic. :sigh: I must have enjoyed something.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Ah **** sleep time soon.

    5 dreams night after night about an argument with my mother then she turns into Satan and we do battle in various different places. I always manage to kill her and the methods get more gruesome every night. Wonder what it will be tonight. If I can even get to sleep, which given yesterday and the night before, is unlikely. Fantastic. :sigh: I must have enjoyed something.
    :hugs: I hope you don't have that dream again tonight :console:

    ---

    I can't sleep. :mad2:
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    (Original post by el1iot)
    Ok, so I'm really stuck on what to do right now and it's really doing my head in and I'm struggling to cope because everything is becoming overwhelming.

    When I was about 4 my parents split up and because I was so young I didn't really understand what was happening. Every now and again I would go and cry in my room because I felt really upset but I didn't know or understand why. I realised when I was about 8 that I really missed having my Dad around and I would normally see him about once a week or sometimes less.

    I lived with my Mum and she got married to another guy, but there was always arguments and problems. I was still too young to understand what was really happening and why they were always arguing. By the time I was 14/15 it became really bad and it got really abusive, both physically and mentally and I just put up with it but I was unaware of the effect it was having on me. My mum ended up getting divorced again and the guy she was married to took our two dogs, so we were really upset. This brought back memories of another dog that we had that died in pain and it made me really upset for a long time, but I was able to cope.

    My mum then went on to meet another bloke. She would go round his house all the time and not come back home for days, leaving me (15 at the time, my brother 17 and my sister, 12) to do everything for ourselves, including cooking, washing and getting to school. This is when I started to feel depressed. I felt like giving up because I just din't want to get up every day. The only thing keeping me from doing things was the fact that I knew I wouldn't feel so lonely at school because I had friends there.

    My Mum was struggling to cope as well and there was nothing I could do about it. She was in financial difficulty and had to sell the house as a result. This meant that my brother and I would have to go and live in a flat with our Dad and his girlfriend, me and my brother sharing a room barely big enough for one person. My sister would get a smaller place with my Mum. My Mum and her boyfriend then decided to get all of mine and my brother's stuff and dump it at my Dad's house all in the space of a day, as quickly as it could all be moved. I was esentially kicked out of my house by my own mother for no reason, which I still haven't been told. That day for me was the breaking point. I actually felt disowned as well as feeling lonely and strange in a new environment. I was unable to settle in at my Dad's house.

    My depression was becoming really bad and I had all these years been suffereing really badly from hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating). I started to notice it even more and it became more and more embarrasing and a horrible sensation. This made me feel anxious and I would avoid social situations. I started losing all of my friends and when I started sixth form I turned into a bit of a loner (before I was really social, centre of the party kinda thing). I didn't want to talk to anybody or do anything. I didn't enjoy anything anymore and I was doing less. I started to hate going to sixth form and found it too stressful, and before I loved going to cadets and football and I now hated those as well. I had to put on a front whenever I was with other people because I wanted to feel normal even though I was constantly anxious and depressed and I still did everything even though I hated it all.

    It got to the point where I felt worthless and I would miss sixth form a lot, started off being the odd lesson, then I would skip days here and there. The times I was at sixth form, I felt horrible putting on this front and I had to try so hard to hide myself shaking and being nervous or crying, so most of my break times were spent alone walking the streets outside or crying in the toilets. I couldn't take it, I didn't want to do anything anymore. I started missing sixth form so much, I kept getting called into the head of sixth form's office to explain what was going on and they found out what I was going through. They weren't very sympathetic but I was referred to more counselling (I had had seeked some out myself previously), but counselling didn't work for me so I skipped it. At this point I didn't think I could feel any worse but I was mugged at knife point twice in the space of 6 months. I was trying my hardest not to have suicidal thoughts and I started drinking alone and smoking and occasionally doing drugs. This just made it even worse and I hit rock bottom.

    My mum took me to the doctor and I was prescribed Citalopram. I went on it for about 6 months and started to feel better, but only enough to keep me from doing anything stupid. The doctor took me off it because they said after 6 months if you feel better, you don't need it. I was actually feeling happy for a few months after coming off it and had an amazing summer, although I still had my anxiety to some extent. I started uni and was really enjoying it and I was starting to cope with my anxiety, so that was getting better as well.

    Then I got into a relationship at university with a girl I really liked and it ended because I walked in on her having sex with another guy. I found it really difficult to get over, even though we were only seeing each other for about a month. I had negative thoughts coming back and I started feeling low now and again. My anxiety started getting worse again. During the Christmas holidays I felt a bit better again, seeing all my friends and family back home and spending quality time with them, but towards the end of the holidays my anxiety was playing up again. I started realising how much I had missed being home with my brother and I didn't want to go back to university, so when I went back I was becoming really depressed again and crying all the time, so I was going back home whenever I could. I had exams as well, so it was stressing me out and making me extremely anxious, I started having panic attacks again.

    Now my exams are over, I still feel really **** and it is just getting worse. My anxiety is worse than it has ever been and I am getting up at about 3pm whenever I can. I don't feel like leaving my room, even to get food, so I am going hungry. I have to deliver a 10 minute presentation for uni but I don't feel I will be able to do it because I'm worried I will have a panic attack when I do it and it will make me even worse. I can't stop worrying or thinking about stuff and my sleeping patterns are falling out of shape again. I'm having thoughts of dropping out of university because I just can't cope. I really don't know what to do and I don't know how I will cope if I carry on the way I am, or what I will do if I drop out. I feel like I will never be able to get a job because of my sweating. I also don't want to leave university because I have had some good times and made some friends that I don't want to lose.

    I feel extremely stuck right now and it's horrible. I can't deal with it. I have just realised I've basically written out my life story, like anyone would care or even take the time to read this post, but I had to do it, so it's out there. I can't bottle this up anymore otherwise I'm just going to explode.
    Hey all, this was my post back in September and I appreciate all of the help and advice you were able to give me.

    Since that post I plucked up the courage to register as the University medical practice. They were suprised how well I was coping considering my situation and they put me back on meds. I was on them for about 6 months and one time when I ran out I missed an appointment to go back to the doctors. I never actually got round to going back to the doctors but I felt a lot better. A actually felt like myself again, and had somehow found some kind of overpowering inner strength that I knew would get me through, no matter how I was feeling, it is really peculiar and I still feel it inside me, almost like something supernatural like a guardian angel or something (even though I'm not really a believer of anything like that). I have since cut down on drinking and smoking a lot and I have been cutting back on smoking this summer with the intention of quitting (seems to be working so far) and I have been very strict, only allowing myself to smoke if I am offered by others (I have not been buying cigarettes or asking others for them). I have had a lot of time to think over my past and I feel that I am slowly getting over it. I am still concerned about my Hyperhidrosis, which I occasionally get anxious about it, but no longer to the extent that it is a problem. I have been extremly bored this summer so far, but I have got a job doing Betterware at home, which has kept me fairly busy, fit and has given me a bit of spare cash. I got my results the other week and managed to turn things round and get a high 2:1 for the first year! I have got my house sorted for next year and I really like it and the people I'm sharing with. I actually can't wait for the second year of uni! I am really excited about Reading (festival), which I'm going to in a couple of weeks, and I have got a job interview at Primark to work weekends there during term time when I'm at uni. All in all things are looking up!
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    (Original post by el1iot)
    Hey all, this was my post back in September and I appreciate all of the help and advice you were able to give me.

    Since that post I plucked up the courage to register as the University medical practice. They were suprised how well I was coping considering my situation and they put me back on meds. I was on them for about 6 months and one time when I ran out I missed an appointment to go back to the doctors. I never actually got round to going back to the doctors but I felt a lot better. A actually felt like myself again, and had somehow found some kind of overpowering inner strength that I knew would get me through, no matter how I was feeling, it is really peculiar and I still feel it inside me, almost like something supernatural like a guardian angel or something (even though I'm not really a believer of anything like that). I have since cut down on drinking and smoking a lot and I have been cutting back on smoking this summer with the intention of quitting (seems to be working so far) and I have been very strict, only allowing myself to smoke if I am offered by others (I have not been buying cigarettes or asking others for them). I have had a lot of time to think over my past and I feel that I am slowly getting over it. I am still concerned about my Hyperhidrosis, which I occasionally get anxious about it, but no longer to the extent that it is a problem. I have been extremly bored this summer so far, but I have got a job doing Betterware at home, which has kept me fairly busy, fit and has given me a bit of spare cash. I got my results the other week and managed to turn things round and get a high 2:1 for the first year! I have got my house sorted for next year and I really like it and the people I'm sharing with. I actually can't wait for the second year of uni! I am really excited about Reading (festival), which I'm going to in a couple of weeks, and I have got a job interview at Primark to work weekends there during term time when I'm at uni. All in all things are looking up!
    That sounds great! I'm really glad things are looking up for you.

    ps. reading festival? I'm jealous!
 
 
 
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