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    (Original post by sauce)
    mmmm.
    What's up? :hugs:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    That's what I used to do (and sometimes still do if the person's making me feel uncomfortable) but the more you do it, the less difficult it becomes. Also, I'm not convinced that eyes give everything away, they just work in unison with the rest of the body in giving others information, which isn't a bad thing. Is there somewhere you could go and practise maybe or maybe in front of a mirror (sort of like a sim haha)?

    No, now I can get to sleep but wake up about an hour later and lie awake for the rest of the night :nothing:

    My dad doesn't seem to think it'll cost much and as he's the one paying for it... :teehee: He's promised to get it fixed when he's 'on leave' but I don't have a clue when that is other than probably sometime this month.
    When I speak in front of a mirror I'm like Hitler, JFK or Churchill. ******* incredible orator. :cool: It doesn't translate well to talking with other people however. Sometimes I wish some horrible plague that destroyed everyone's vocal chords would strike the earth, then we could all chat on msn or pads of paper, that would be much easier.

    Sleeping sounds kind of odd, did you talk to your GP about it?

    That sucks. Are you closing the lid when you turn it off? Perhaps it might work more often if you left the screen at the same angle when you turn it off to try and stop the connectors being further damaged/loosened. If you're already doing that however there's probably nothing to do other than getting it seen to.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    When I speak in front of a mirror I'm like Hitler, JFK or Churchill. ******* incredible orator. :cool: It doesn't translate well to talking with other people however. Sometimes I wish some horrible plague that destroyed everyone's vocal chords would strike the earth, then we could all chat on msn or pads of paper, that would be much easier.

    Sleeping sounds kind of odd, did you talk to your GP about it?

    That sucks. Are you closing the lid when you turn it off? Perhaps it might work more often if you left the screen at the same angle when you turn it off to try and stop the connectors being further damaged/loosened. If you're already doing that however there's probably nothing to do other than getting it seen to.
    sorry to intrude on the convo but I'd like to second that about the plague destroying everyone's vocal chords.
    Ugh I have a hard time talking to people a lot of the time too, especially new people, I either say too much ( rare) or nothing at all because I'm overthinking what to say and by the time I work out the perfect sentance the person has already drawn the conclusion that I'm a twit lol.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    What's up? :hugs:
    Been feeling nothing today Jut empty and blank and stuff :moon: cba to do anything and worried about getting the motivation to go swimming today. My exercise is really going downhill recently and I'm really struggling to get the motivation to do anything, the flat is a mess. I'm so useless.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Sorry forgot to say, I was referred for counselling in March I think....still waiting for an appointment though. For a while I felt like I didn't need it anymore but now days I feel like I really do. Mum's saying that I'm not hidding my emotions as well as I used to...

    Sorry about the insomnia, sucks have you tried camomile tea?... a bit of a naff suggestion but works for me sometimes.
    :hugs: Would it be worth going back to the GP and asking what's going on with it/saying that you're feeling worse and is there anything that they could do?

    Camomile tea and all of those other sleep things like lavender, horlicks, baths, music etc only ever worked when it was mild, before the depression. Now I'm **** tired all the time but can't sleep. :dry:

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    When I speak in front of a mirror I'm like Hitler, JFK or Churchill. ******* incredible orator. :cool: It doesn't translate well to talking with other people however. Sometimes I wish some horrible plague that destroyed everyone's vocal chords would strike the earth, then we could all chat on msn or pads of paper, that would be much easier.

    Sleeping sounds kind of odd, did you talk to your GP about it?

    That sucks. Are you closing the lid when you turn it off? Perhaps it might work more often if you left the screen at the same angle when you turn it off to try and stop the connectors being further damaged/loosened. If you're already doing that however there's probably nothing to do other than getting it seen to.
    :hugs: Is there anyone you could practise on? Or maybe use a webcam as a sort of half-way stage?

    No, I have to see him sometime before Friday to get more fluoxetine so I'll mention it then (if I manage to get an appointment this late/remember to turn up for the open surgery :facepalm:)

    No I do always close it,might try leaving it open. :yep:
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    (Original post by sauce)
    Been feeling nothing today Jut empty and blank and stuff :moon: cba to do anything and worried about getting the motivation to go swimming today. My exercise is really going downhill recently and I'm really struggling to get the motivation to do anything, the flat is a mess. I'm so useless.
    :hugs: you aren't useless, maybe make a list of things to do and try doing things bit by bit instead of seeing it as one big task. I'm sure once you get into the swimming pool you'll feel a lot better, exercise can really make a difference...says the girl who hasn't exercised properly for over a year...no wonder I feel pants..
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Would it be worth going back to the GP and asking what's going on with it/saying that you're feeling worse and is there anything that they could do?

    Camomile tea and all of those other sleep things like lavender, horlicks, baths, music etc only ever worked when it was mild, before the depression. Now I'm **** tired all the time but can't sleep. :dry:
    Problem is my new regular GP is back where I study at Uni and I don't really want to have to go into a walk in centre to be honest.
    Sorry to hear that the insomnia is getting worse, do you think maybe being active during the day like going for a long walk might help?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    When I speak in front of a mirror I'm like Hitler, JFK or Churchill. ******* incredible orator. :cool: It doesn't translate well to talking with other people however.
    You just need to get out there and try. If it fails so what? There is another 4,899,999,999 people to try.

    It comes with practise, I used to be very shy and nervous but just kept at it.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :hugs: you aren't useless, maybe make a list of things to do and try doing things bit by bit instead of seeing it as one big task. I'm sure once you get into the swimming pool you'll feel a lot better, exercise can really make a difference...says the girl who hasn't exercised properly for over a year...no wonder I feel pants..
    i know i will, i just have so much dread and anxiety in me at the moment and everything is irriating and annoying me.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Problem is my new regular GP is back where I study at Uni and I don't really want to have to go into a walk in centre to be honest.
    Sorry to hear that the insomnia is getting worse, do you think maybe being active during the day like going for a long walk might help?
    :hugs: Would it be worth maybe writing a letter to them or something?

    I don't know. I've had sleep problems for months they've just been getting worse in the past few weeks, it doesn't seem to change if I exercise (which I can't right now because I'm so ******* clever I busted my knee wearing heels :rolleyes:)
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Is there anyone you could practise on? Or maybe use a webcam as a sort of half-way stage?

    No, I have to see him sometime before Friday to get more fluoxetine so I'll mention it then (if I manage to get an appointment this late/remember to turn up for the open surgery :facepalm:)

    No I do always close it,might try leaving it open. :yep:
    Tried on webcam, I'm kind of ok because it's not like you're looking at the person, you're looking at a computer screen it just feels different.

    You could try napping throughout the day, if you can sleep for an hour or so a few times in a day it'll be more sleep. Might help?

    Yeah try keeping it open, it's a bit annoying but I found it stops my screen ******* up so much.

    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    You just need to get out there and try. If it fails so what? There is another 4,899,999,999 people to try.

    It comes with practise, I used to be very shy and nervous but just kept at it.
    I do. I throw myself into so many things at university and try to talk to as many people as possible but I always get the same outcome. I've been trying since I first started school. The failure hurts, but not as much as the loneliness, I do keep trying and it never works. Even my psychologist was making fun of how I talk to people.


    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    sorry to intrude on the convo but I'd like to second that about the plague destroying everyone's vocal chords.
    Ugh I have a hard time talking to people a lot of the time too, especially new people, I either say too much ( rare) or nothing at all because I'm overthinking what to say and by the time I work out the perfect sentance the person has already drawn the conclusion that I'm a twit lol.
    I do that too think too much and then the conversation moves on. Saying too much isn't a bad thing though, you just need to find a person who doesn't say much then they'll probably appreciate it :p:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :hugs:

    What's bugging you?
    Thanks :hugs:

    the strange thing is, I don't even know anymore. It's not like there's one particular thing that's on my mind - I seem to worry about anything and everything that's thrown my way, which is just irrational. And when i'm out, people don't have to be looking at me a certain way or anything, but i'll still feel super self-conscious and just wish I could disappear. it's so frustrating, because I doubt any of them even care because i'm just another human being like them, but who knows. If I have to live my entire life like this, I can imagine it getting pretty exhausting, but equally I can't seem to stop it so maybe that's just how it has to be for me!
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    Thanks :hugs:

    the strange thing is, I don't even know anymore. It's not like there's one particular thing that's on my mind - I seem to worry about anything and everything that's thrown my way, which is just irrational. And when i'm out, people don't have to be looking at me a certain way or anything, but i'll still feel super self-conscious and just wish I could disappear. it's so frustrating, because I doubt any of them even care because i'm just another human being like them, but who knows. If I have to live my entire life like this, I can imagine it getting pretty exhausting, but equally I can't seem to stop it so maybe that's just how it has to be for me!
    What are you up to atm? I tend to worry about absolutely everything if I don't have anything to fill my time, whereas if I have a huge list of things to do there's less time for worrying. Also depression can seem to blow things out of proportion as it's hard to see the other side.

    I'm not a doctor but the super self-conscious thing sounds kind of like low self esteem. If you felt good about yourself then you might feel less like that? I don't think pills really work for that kind of problem but could you try one of those self esteem books or there are websites which give advice on tackling the problem. Just an idea. If I have the complete wrong end of the stick I apologize.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    What are you up to atm? I tend to worry about absolutely everything if I don't have anything to fill my time, whereas if I have a huge list of things to do there's less time for worrying. Also depression can seem to blow things out of proportion as it's hard to see the other side.

    I'm not a doctor but the super self-conscious thing sounds kind of like low self esteem. If you felt good about yourself then you might feel less like that? I don't think pills really work for that kind of problem but could you try one of those self esteem books or there are websites which give advice on tackling the problem. Just an idea. If I have the complete wrong end of the stick I apologize.
    No, you don't have the wrong end of the stick at all... I actually think you're pretty much spot-on, to be honest. It's just such a difficult thing to change when it's all you've ever known, but I guess nobody ever said it would be easy! You're right... pills can't exactly help with that kind of mentality, or anything for that matter. It's just my entire way of thinking. I feel a bit better knowing there is a problem at least, but now it's just an uphill struggle actually doing something about it.

    As for the things to do, I definitely do worry a heck of a lot more when I have more time to myself. I think going to uni in September might help the doing things side, but most people I know seem to be abroad at the minute whereas I just have part-time work trying to save up for uni and stuff. And then I come home. It's just a boring routine, and that might have something to do with why I don't feel excited about anything anymore. But equally, even when I'm invited to places, I just don't have the energy or motivation to actually do anything about it.
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    mmmmm....going to overeat this week=feeling depressed about it=getting fat and taking steps backwards :rolleyes:
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    I honestly thought I was feeling so much better so why do I suddenly feel exactly how I used to? Especially only a week before I see the psychiatrist again and should apparently be feeling an improvement.
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    No, you don't have the wrong end of the stick at all... I actually think you're pretty much spot-on, to be honest. It's just such a difficult thing to change when it's all you've ever known, but I guess nobody ever said it would be easy! You're right... pills can't exactly help with that kind of mentality, or anything for that matter. It's just my entire way of thinking. I feel a bit better knowing there is a problem at least, but now it's just an uphill struggle actually doing something about it.

    As for the things to do, I definitely do worry a heck of a lot more when I have more time to myself. I think going to uni in September might help the doing things side, but most people I know seem to be abroad at the minute whereas I just have part-time work trying to save up for uni and stuff. And then I come home. It's just a boring routine, and that might have something to do with why I don't feel excited about anything anymore. But equally, even when I'm invited to places, I just don't have the energy or motivation to actually do anything about it.
    You could ask your gp to refer you to a psychologist. They can help you to address your thinking patterns and can show you how to change them, it's hard work but at least you wouldn't be alone.

    Have you tried pushing yourself to go places when you're invited? If you're not doing much then it can be hard to find motivation to do anything, whereas if you fill more of your time sometimes it makes it easier to do more things as you get more energy. It sounds counter-intuitive but apparently works. Obviously don't push yourself all the time as you'll just feel miserable, but maybe it's worth a go.

    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I honestly thought I was feeling so much better so why do I suddenly feel exactly how I used to? Especially only a week before I see the psychiatrist again and should apparently be feeling an improvement.
    Don't worry just be honest with your psychiatrist. I don't think many people get a perfectly straight improvement graph, most people will have dips along the way.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Don't worry just be honest with your psychiatrist. I don't think many people get a perfectly straight improvement graph, most people will have dips along the way.
    I know, it's just I thought that I was doing much better and now I don't think I was. I thought the worst of it was gone anyway.

    How're things going with your psychiatrist?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    You could ask your gp to refer you to a psychologist. They can help you to address your thinking patterns and can show you how to change them, it's hard work but at least you wouldn't be alone.

    Have you tried pushing yourself to go places when you're invited? If you're not doing much then it can be hard to find motivation to do anything, whereas if you fill more of your time sometimes it makes it easier to do more things as you get more energy. It sounds counter-intuitive but apparently works. Obviously don't push yourself all the time as you'll just feel miserable, but maybe it's worth a go.
    I've already been to my GP and he referred me to a CBT psychotherapist I think, to address my thinking in particular (because I think that's the main issue here). I don't know if I'm being cynical or just not putting enough effort in, and it's so annoying because I know things could be better but I can't seem to accept that, but it just doesn't seem to be working. Maybe I need to give it a bit more time...

    And I do generally try to force myself, but it feels like a chore. Plus of course, it's back to square one as soon as I'm on my own again.
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    I bloody hate TSR. So full of people that are actually going to achieve what they want and go to uni this year and do well. I'm going to have to sit here for another bloody year like the useless lump that I am and no doubt still end up nowhere. I should really stop coming on here, it just makes everything worse.
 
 
 
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