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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Ok, what do you like to do? There are plenty of things you can do on your own to pass the time, even possibly try new things. If you play an instrument that's fairly solitary for practicing, if you don't you could give it a go, or learn a language, get fit at the gym etc, having friends around obviously makes a lot of things easier but it doesn't mean that there aren't things to do without them. I don't know what kind of things you're into.

    As for your birthday, meh, I did nothing for mine, I don't regret it (then again there was nothing I could really do for mine, in the traditional sense). If you don't want to do anything don't force yourself to just because you're "meant" to do something for your birthday. I'm sure you'll have lots more of them when you might actually feel like doing something.
    Thank you so much for the reply! I actually ukulele and guitar but haven't picked up both in a while. Probably need to up the exercise too, a bit of toning never did anyone any harm. :yep: I suppose I could do something after my birthday. Thanks again :cool: .
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    ergh sliding down pretty fast.

    some of the replies in that thread on bullying were really making me feel like ****. Also been thinking about that bloody test I did for psychiatrist, whilst I haven't had the results yet I can make a pretty good guess about what it's going to be and I don't agree with it at all. I do not want them to write anything on my medical records and I know that they are wrong. The questions didn't allow for sufficient explanation in answers on some of the points and I'm not great at explaining things either. I'm thinking of just never contacting them again. After all, they've basically already said I'm untreatable so why should I let them then destroy any chance of me getting a job with their retarded, and completely wrong ideas? Wish I'd never spoken to a doctor in the first place, all it's done is make things worse. :mad:
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    awful :nn:
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    Didn't drink.

    I'm honestly considering coming off the meds and just not attending anything else now. I know it won't be instant and that there'll be ups and downs with treatment, but what's the point? I don't enjoy life any more. At least I had some fun moments before all of this blew up. Life is meant to be fun. I'd rather call it quits now than two years down the line when I hit bottom again. It sounds stupid, but the fact that I can't feel how sad I am is starting to really piss me off - I have all these thoughts of suicide and self harm swimming around my head but nothing to back them up with, so I just feel like I'm going crazy.
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    Where do I start? With friend issues, with the guilt, with the crying, with the insomnia, with the shaking...? Feeling really ****.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Didn't drink.

    I'm honestly considering coming off the meds and just not attending anything else now. I know it won't be instant and that there'll be ups and downs with treatment, but what's the point? I don't enjoy life any more. At least I had some fun moments before all of this blew up. Life is meant to be fun. I'd rather call it quits now than two years down the line when I hit bottom again. It sounds stupid, but the fact that I can't feel how sad I am is starting to really piss me off - I have all these thoughts of suicide and self harm swimming around my head but nothing to back them up with, so I just feel like I'm going crazy.
    :hugs: That will probably wear off soon, so stick with it. :console: Of course if you really can't stand it then tell your GP and they may recommend you try a different one.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    awful :nn:
    :hugs: What's up?
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    Sliding down, but really trying to keep ym head above water :emo:
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    (Original post by Loz17)
    Sliding down, but really trying to keep ym head above water :emo:
    :hugs: I know the feeling (well, apart from the trying part :sigh:). How's the help you've been getting going? :console:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: I know the feeling (well, apart from the trying part :sigh:). How's the help you've been getting going? :console:
    Relying on the cit tbh. It works occasionally but I have so much on my mind atm, well its more stuff I'm scared off but know will happen then my mind sort of blows it out of proportion so its constantly on my mind, apart from when i have the occasional taste of reality :erm:

    :hugs: Has anyone seen you since that visit?
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    (Original post by Loz17)
    Relying on the cit tbh. It works occasionally but I have so much on my mind atm, well its more stuff I'm scared off but know will happen then my mind sort of blows it out of proportion so its constantly on my mind, apart from when i have the occasional taste of reality :erm:

    :hugs: Has anyone seen you since that visit?
    :hugs: Maybe as it kicks in more it'll help? Or would going back to your GP help? :console:

    No. I honestly don't think the meds I'm on at the moment are working either. :banghead: Is the 6th week too soon to tell with fluoxetine?
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    I want to be me again. I want to read book again, I want to sleep normally again, I want to go out again and have fun again and be me again. I am so ******* fed up of being like this. :cry:
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    Third panic attack of the night :cry: I don't understand why I'm so bad again. Maybe the last few weeks were just the side effects? I did mainly just feel numb :erm:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    No. I honestly don't think the meds I'm on at the moment are working either. :banghead: Is the 6th week too soon to tell with fluoxetine?
    6-8 weeks or so, so don't give up with it yet...
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    6-8 weeks or so, so don't give up with it yet...
    But I was feeling better. For me, numb is better than this. I hate it. :sigh:

    Do you know how long it takes for the how fluoxetine keeping you awake or whatever thing to kick in? Cos I have work soon and no sleep :teehee:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    But I was feeling better. For me, numb is better than this. I hate it. :sigh:

    Do you know how long it takes for the how fluoxetine keeping you awake or whatever thing to kick in? Cos I have work soon and no sleep :teehee:
    I dunno, it might have been originally a placebo affect (effect?) or something, but try to keep an open mind, things take time, there are ups and downs. :hugs:

    Nope, no idea. I took it for 4 days: worst 4 days of my life Mirtazapine in lower doses is good for tiredness though, so if the fluoxetine doesn't work that might be worth a try. Very very sedating.

    And tbh the panic attacks, might be because you're so wound up. Try to do something to relax, even if it's not sleep.







    I'm drunk. Happy drunk. Just watched an excellent movie, from the back it looked like it was a regular action movie then it was about torturing some guy, a pleasing surprise.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I dunno, it might have been originally a placebo affect (effect?) or something, but try to keep an open mind, things take time, there are ups and downs. :hugs:

    Nope, no idea. I took it for 4 days: worst 4 days of my life Mirtazapine in lower doses is good for tiredness though, so if the fluoxetine doesn't work that might be worth a try. Very very sedating.

    And tbh the panic attacks, might be because you're so wound up. Try to do something to relax, even if it's not sleep.







    I'm drunk. Happy drunk. Just watched an excellent movie, from the back it looked like it was a regular action movie then it was about torturing some guy, a pleasing surprise.
    Yeah maybe. I just want the old me back, pre-eating disorder me to be honest.

    I want it to keep me awake, then I can go to work in an hour, work and then come home and sleep before midday :teehee: Although I feel ill (the one day I can't ask anyone to cover or call my boss haha) so work is going to be so much fun

    I think maybe they're a little related to having to go to work too. I really, really want to quit right now, I hate the pressure it puts me under each week even though it's nothing.

    :hugs: I'm glad to hear it but a pleasing surprise?!?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Yeah maybe. I just want the old me back, pre-eating disorder me to be honest.

    I want it to keep me awake, then I can go to work in an hour, work and then come home and sleep before midday :teehee: Although I feel ill (the one day I can't ask anyone to cover or call my boss haha) so work is going to be so much fun

    I think maybe they're a little related to having to go to work too. I really, really want to quit right now, I hate the pressure it puts me under each week even though it's nothing.

    :hugs: I'm glad to hear it but a pleasing surprise?!?
    :hugs: everyone wants the old them back. I'm sure the old steffi is still inside somewhere so it'll happen one day. Old steffi with some new bits added of course, which is unavoidable.

    Ah...well if you want to stay awake, coffee is the way forward no? How're you feeling ill? Take painkillers get on with it and try not to puke ill? You could try a half hour nap possibly, it might help, or even just lying in bed listening to music trying to forget how you feel.

    And about quitting, I know the feeling, but I would imagine in some way, even if you don't feel it, that it might be good for you. People always say to keep busy and do stuff, and if you haven't got a job then what else would you be doing? Jobs can be awful, and finding motivation to do them can also be awful but sometimes it's the only way to fill time and take your mind off how you feel for a bit.


    haha, yeah...I like movies with blood, action etc Although...on one hand it was a very thoughtful "when is torture justified?" sort of theme which links into politics, human rights issues, national security etc, but on the other I got to watch some guy getting his fingernails pulled off. I'm going to pretend I was interested due solely to the first reason :flute:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :hugs: everyone wants the old them back. I'm sure the old steffi is still inside somewhere so it'll happen one day. Old steffi with some new bits added of course, which is unavoidable.

    Ah...well if you want to stay awake, coffee is the way forward no? How're you feeling ill? Take painkillers get on with it and try not to puke ill? You could try a half hour nap possibly, it might help, or even just lying in bed listening to music trying to forget how you feel.

    And about quitting, I know the feeling, but I would imagine in some way, even if you don't feel it, that it might be good for you. People always say to keep busy and do stuff, and if you haven't got a job then what else would you be doing? Jobs can be awful, and finding motivation to do them can also be awful but sometimes it's the only way to fill time and take your mind off how you feel for a bit.


    haha, yeah...I like movies with blood, action etc Although...on one hand it was a very thoughtful "when is torture justified?" sort of theme which links into politics, human rights issues, national security etc, but on the other I got to watch some guy getting his fingernails pulled off. I'm going to pretend I was interested due solely to the first reason :flute:
    Hmm. I hope.

    I'm not so sure coffee is a good idea right now - the involuntary movements are back with a vengeance (literally every 30 seconds, I tried to sleep but it's not gonna happen). I feel like I have tonsillitus again but I don't know that it'll become full blown or whatever over the next few days.

    I know but it'd be so much easier...

    I don't understand people who enjoy those films, I can't even watch them :o:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Hmm. I hope.

    I'm not so sure coffee is a good idea right now - the involuntary movements are back with a vengeance (literally every 30 seconds, I tried to sleep but it's not gonna happen). I feel like I have tonsillitus again but I don't know that it'll become full blown or whatever over the next few days.

    I know but it'd be so much easier...

    I don't understand people who enjoy those films, I can't even watch them :o:
    Yeah that doesn't sound like coffee is a particularly good idea. If it's been 6 weeks on fluoxetine it shouldn't be too much longer to decide if it's doing anything, although if you see your GP they can prescribe stuff to stop the movements (though that's normally for anti-psychotic-caused ones) which might be worth a shot if they're really bothering you and every 30 seconds sounds pretty bad. Oh, another alternative to mirtazapine might be trazodone, again pretty sedating. If you want something to do you could try researching those and saying to the GP what you want to try (if you do, that is of course).

    Ergh tonsillitus :console: horrible horrible horrible. tea with lemon/honey?

    Easy, not always the good course of action. Though I hated all the jobs I had so not really in a position to lecture you...


    I wanted a Japanese splatter fest but the other guy said there was too much blood....don't think he realized what this one was about either.
 
 
 
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