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    (Original post by sauce)
    lol awww :woo:@ money though. Mmmm same as always. Realising how little I like leaving the house for anything other than gym(where I interact zero amount) :awesome: good times.
    I'm the same. I hated walking to work in case people saw me (I didn't have time for a shower/couldn't be bothered so walked down with gross hair :sigh:) but hopefully we'll both get there soon :yep:

    Are you still not getting any help? :console:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I'm the same. I hated walking to work in case people saw me (I didn't have time for a shower/couldn't be bothered so walked down with gross hair :sigh:) but hopefully we'll both get there soon :yep:

    Are you still not getting any help? :console:
    no....i know it probably makes me sound like i'm not getting help for attention or whatever because i'm terrified..
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    (Original post by sauce)
    no....i know it probably makes me sound like i'm not getting help for attention or whatever because i'm terrified..
    :hugs: It is scary, or rather the thought/build up to it is scary but once you're there it's a lot easier than you think. It is really worth it, it's nice to know that you have some support there and that things are going to improve :console:

    And it doesn't make you sound like you're doing it for attention at all!
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: The not feeling anything is probably just a side effect and will wear off :console: I'm worried about uni too, but it could be the thing that really helps both of us. Yes, it'll be scary as **** but you will make great friends and have a good time doing something you enjoy. :console:
    I thought I'd do that last time, tbh. I can't screw this up again.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I thought I'd do that last time, tbh. I can't screw this up again.
    :hugs: Don't let negative stuff from the past try to ruin September/October. You don't know how it'll go but you'll probably be feeling a lot better by then because the antidepressants will have kicked in :console:
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    S/H trigger...

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    **** ME I just want to hurt myself. I want to see blood running down my arms, I want to feel pain I want this so ******* bad :cry: I want the scars, I want it all. ******. I threw my blade out because it was getting manky but I can get another, I can get one just like that. I need this. *******.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    .
    :hugs: Have you been given the number of the crisis team? If so, ring them now. What SSRI are you on? I know fluoxetine can increase suicidal and self harm thoughts in the first few weeks but it will fade. Maybe try to stay around people today so that you don't have the opportunity to? :console:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Have you been given the number of the crisis team? If so, ring them now. What SSRI are you on? I know fluoxetine can increase suicidal and self harm thoughts in the first few weeks but it will fade. Maybe try to stay around people today so that you don't have the opportunity to? :console:
    I was given two numbers but I can't remember which is which... Besides, I don't want to bother them. Citalopram, 20mg. I'm so tired, I need to go to bed soon, I don't want to leave my Mums company though.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I was given two numbers but I can't remember which is which... Besides, I don't want to bother them. Citalopram, 20mg. I'm so tired, I need to go to bed soon, I don't want to leave my Mums company though.
    :hugs: Why not google them or try both?

    When I was on citalopram I had an increase in those thoughts too but it really should go after a week or so :console: Good idea, maybe tell her how you're feeling and leave the door open so that she can check on you if you want to go to sleep?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Why not google them or try both?

    When I was on citalopram I had an increase in those thoughts too but it really should go after a week or so :console: Good idea, maybe tell her how you're feeling and leave the door open so that she can check on you if you want to go to sleep?
    Meh. Mehhh. **** it. 20 days, well, screw that. Not worth anything any more.

    I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I can't stop this any more :cry:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Meh. Mehhh. **** it. 20 days, well, screw that. Not worth anything any more.

    I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I can't stop this any more :cry:
    :hugs: It is totally worth it. Is 20 days how long you've been on it or is that soemthing else? :console:

    :hugs: Panic attacks are horrible. Loz said NHS Direct were great when you're having a panic attack so it might be worth giving them a ring. If it gets really bad, I find that it helps to lie down. :dontknow:

    :jumphug:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: It is totally worth it. Is 20 days how long you've been on it or is that soemthing else? :console:

    :hugs: Panic attacks are horrible. Loz said NHS Direct were great when you're having a panic attack so it might be worth giving them a ring. If it gets really bad, I find that it helps to lie down. :dontknow:

    :jumphug:
    20 days since I last cut... Now I'm just sitting waiting for my mum to go to bed so I can get to the knives. I can't stop this without it. Gahhhhhhhhhh.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    20 days since I last cut... Now I'm just sitting waiting for my mum to go to bed so I can get to the knives. I can't stop this without it. Gahhhhhhhhhh.
    :hugs: Try to stay strong, are you up to telling her? This feeling will pass and cutting won't help anything (though you know that). Why not call NHS Direct/the Crisis team and just talk to them until you feel calmer?
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    S/H trigger...

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    **** ME I just want to hurt myself. I want to see blood running down my arms, I want to feel pain I want this so ******* bad :cry: I want the scars, I want it all. ******. I threw my blade out because it was getting manky but I can get another, I can get one just like that. I need this. *******.
    :hugs: have you tried holding ice cubes? or snapping an elastic band against your wrist?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    :hugs: Try to stay strong, are you up to telling her? This feeling will pass and cutting won't help anything (though you know that). Why not call NHS Direct/the Crisis team and just talk to them until you feel calmer?
    No. Not tonight. Never. Ever. I can't talk to anyone right now...
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    No. Not tonight. Never. Ever. I can't talk to anyone right now...
    :hugs: Try to keep yourself distracted maybe? 20 days is ages to go and well done but you'll end up feeling worse after if you do it. :console:
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    Feel **** again. I'm going to pour away the glass of alcohol I have next to me (I've only had one sip :grumble:) because if I drink it, I'll feel worse. Meh.
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    I am no longer eating crap, I have spent the last two days doing so and have been feeling rotten and have been physically unwell a few times a day :nothing:
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    I really wish I was going back to uni. Right now I have no reason to get up in the morning, my days are just filled with nothing. I know I need to force myself to do stuff but I just can't. The antidepressants are working up to a point, I definitely don't feel as bad as I did a couple of months ago, but I just seem to be stuck now with this lack of motivation. Hard to tell what I'm supposed to do now.


    :grouphugs: to anyone who needs it.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I really wish I was going back to uni. Right now I have no reason to get up in the morning, my days are just filled with nothing. I know I need to force myself to do stuff but I just can't. The antidepressants are working up to a point, I definitely don't feel as bad as I did a couple of months ago, but I just seem to be stuck now with this lack of motivation. Hard to tell what I'm supposed to do now.


    :grouphugs: to anyone who needs it.
    Anything else you could do? Dunno if you're up for it but some universities offer night classes in various stuff like a few hours or less a week. It's usually pretty informal and low pressure so might be worth looking if any university near you has anything that might interest you. Also lots of colleges offer different things. If you're worried about funding it, you could possibly claim it as training for employment as most these courses offer some kind of qualification/certificate at the end. It would be a lot less stress than uni and wouldn't stop you returning to uni at a later date.
 
 
 
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