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    ***** ffor me
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    I'm so very angry right now.
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    You mean delusions and hallucinations? If someone with depression had those sorts of symptoms its called 'depression with psychotic features' or 'psychotic depression'.

    If you look at it as a continuum from mild to severe depression, I think psychotic depression is often viewed as further on from severe. I don't have any stats but they're probably more common than is recognised because 'mild' symptoms like hearing a voice a couple of times probably isn't reported. Drug use isnt always a prerequisite. I dont think age effects it.

    But mental illness is obviously not fully understood and there is probably an area between depression and schizophrenia, where symptoms overlap a lot and diagnosis is difficult (and actually not as important as actually treating the person). Some of the medications and used for both.
    Hope that helps a bit.
    Hm, okay.

    I'm not sure what I have is a delusion then. I consider my Depression minor. It's confusing and doesn't make any sense because I'm effectively split in two and one side can analyse the other. I completely separate the illness from myself, but it does seem to steadily get more and more severe in the background. At the same time it also feels completely minor, because my normal self is fine so it can't be at all bad. I could never be suicidal or self-harming. It's hard to describe. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy does nothing for me because my attitude and thinking is genuinely completely healthy, logical, rational and optimistic. Despite this the illness still seems to have developed from Depression to Manic Depression (ultra ultra rapid cycling, making it more obvious even though it defies logic since the reality of my life is very good) and now the latest development has got me wondering if it has turned psychotic. I become really aware of the shape and size of my ribcage, I can feel it inside me and it's horrible because it is the wrong shape. I feel like I'd rather it was removed completely, or at least shortened (obviously I don't really, my organs would all be flopping about! That thought isn't nice to me either, but almost seems better than leaving it in when it's wrong). But this probably can't be a delusion if I don't believe it myself. I don't believe it is the wrong shape, it's completely fine. But the illness side of me does (I think) and I get horrible uncomfortable feelings around it on and off, when I am in a depressed state. I started to wonder if I should get a doctor to check it out, see if there is actually something physical - like the nerves around my ribcage making the uncomfortable sensations or a broken rib or something. But then other times I am sure it feels fine and there is nothing at all wrong, so I wonder if the fact that I do want it checked out by a doctor does mean I'm a bit deluded, even though I myself am not.

    I'll just have to see if this continues and then talk about it to the psychiatrist I suppose. I was just curious if anyone else on TSR had anything like it.

    I'm not on any drugs, the doctors are pretty sure I will have to go on some kind of anti-depressants - but I'm determined to beat this without them and they're willing to let me try. I don't want to mess with my brain.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    My Dad's been sent home early because of me, he's nearly home now.

    Probably shouldn't read this if you're likely to be triggered...

    Basically, Tuesday night after I signed off here I sent my mate an email, basically a suicide note. Turned my phone off, left a note on the counter and walked to the local park. Downed the pills that I'd found, rejected about 20 phone calls from various people (decided to turn my phone back on), and had a go at my wrists... Like I said, it's pretty superficial though. In the end I told a couple of people where I was as my vision was starting to go and then the next thing I know my friend is calling my name and picking me up... We were going to get an ambulance but there was a 45 minute wait So went in the police car where I got told I would stay at the hospital or I'd be sectioned. Yay. Got to A+E and I genuinely couldn't remember what/how much I'd taken; in the end I managed to remember I'd got into my dads prescription co-codamol and the doctor went :eek: so they started me on a drip straight away. Seen a psychiatrist and she said I seem to have an intense fear of being judged (yep!) and I now have to attend a day hospital - got to go for an hour tomorrow to see what it's all about, then I start properly on Monday. Not got a clue what's happening with work but I'm still going to uni; I was adamant that I want to go.

    I feel so utterly ashamed of myself, what a tard. My friends are completely amazed by it. I phoned and went in the police car with the guy (my ex) who was with me the first time and he told them about that... Got a telling off for that one too The guy who found me visited me last night and listening to him talk about what he had to do... What they all had to do to get to me... Well, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for hurting him and my friends like I did or putting them through that.

    ANYWAY. Onwards and upwards. It's time for a change - I can't do this any more. I won't do this to my friends and family and you lot any more. None of you deserve it :hugs:
    :hugs: I'm so glad that you want to get better and that you're getting the support you need.

    (Original post by Malsy)
    i hate doctors they never help or take me, a teenager, seripoiusly

    *****


    anyway erm yeh sad and feeling like ****

    it's time i fled from the nest and im just so scared and dont feel at all fully equipped
    iit doesnt help that theres literally no jobs and everyone keeps rejecting you

    ************
    :hugs: Your doctors are ****, can you go to a different practice?

    And I feel like that too, I think most people do but when you're feeling better you'll be better able to take that step :console:
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    :nothing: Been signed off work for two weeks, sigh. I don't want to be signed off! I want to work. It keeps me occupied... But I guess I have to channel my energy into getting better rather than avoiding it again.
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    I dont knbow hyoa many units i have had in the last day who cares **** liufe
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I dont knbow hyoa many units i have had in the last day who cares **** liufe
    :hugs: Please stop drinking!
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    I am glad to see uou are ok c

    my results were hahahahahja

    complete waste of two years
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I am glad to see uou are ok c

    my results were hahahahahja

    complete waste of two years
    :hugs: It's alright, you can sort that. Besides, I think there are many more important things in life than some letters on a piece of paper.

    I'm ok Don't worry about me! Are you ok? Are you with anyone?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I am glad to see uou are ok c

    my results were hahahahahja

    complete waste of two years
    Water + food, mister.

    Results are not the be all and end all, you can resit and achieve whatever the **** you want. :jumphugs:
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    I dont give a ***** b oyut the exams, it is jhust anbther nail in my coffin.

    Meetying my friends later, to drink more, if i get the courage to jump off the multi storey car park in toqwn then ******** awesommeee how ever i am far to mucgh of a coward.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I dont give a ***** b oyut the exams, it is jhust anbther nail in my coffin.

    Meetying my friends later, to drink more, if i get the courage to jump off the multi storey car park in toqwn then ******** awesommeee how ever i am far to mucgh of a coward.
    Don't you bloody dare :hmmm:

    Steffi, how did your results go sweetness?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I dont give a ***** b oyut the exams, it is jhust anbther nail in my coffin.

    Meetying my friends later, to drink more, if i get the courage to jump off the multi storey car park in toqwn then ******** awesommeee how ever i am far to mucgh of a coward.
    Oh for goodness sake, get off TSR - your grades are great! Jeez TSR is evil sometimes

    Don't you ******* dare. I don't want you to be dead :puppyeyes:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Don't you bloody dare :hmmm:

    Steffi, how did your results go sweetness?
    I got in. **** knows how I managed to get the grade in History and thankfully my previous modules brought up German and Biology up to meet my offer. I got an E in my last module :teehee: I was predicted an A :teehee: I don't care haha
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I got in. **** knows how I managed to get the grade in History and thankfully my previous modules brought up German and Biology up to meet my offer. I got an E in my last module :teehee: I was predicted an A :teehee: I don't care haha
    Fantastic Yay! :hugs: I'm so pleased for you
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Fantastic Yay! :hugs: I'm so pleased for you
    Thanks. I still felt **** after the shock wore off but I'm glad to be moving on.

    Are you going this year?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Thanks. I still felt **** after the shock wore off but I'm glad to be moving on.

    Are you going this year?
    :yes: Well, it's the plan anyway... I really do want to go, I think if I can get the ball rolling here which I will over the next couple of weeks then a new place, new people and a new path of study will be a great thing for me I think. Plus the CPN (? Not sure if she was a CPN, she was some kind of mental health lady... lovely girl ) seemed to agree with me that taking a year off would just lead to me getting bored and even worse.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    :yes: Well, it's the plan anyway... I really do want to go, I think if I can get the ball rolling here which I will over the next couple of weeks then a new place, new people and a new path of study will be a great thing for me I think. Plus the CPN (? Not sure if she was a CPN, she was some kind of mental health lady... lovely girl ) seemed to agree with me that taking a year off would just lead to me getting bored and even worse.
    That's scaring me too but I'm hoping it'll be worth it :yep:

    :hugs: I think it's do the same to me too. Are you still waiting to hear?
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    I got in. **** knows how I managed to get the grade in History and thankfully my previous modules brought up German and Biology up to meet my offer. I got an E in my last module :teehee: I was predicted an A :teehee: I don't care haha
    :beer: awesome! Congratulations!

    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    :yes: Well, it's the plan anyway... I really do want to go, I think if I can get the ball rolling here which I will over the next couple of weeks then a new place, new people and a new path of study will be a great thing for me I think. Plus the CPN (? Not sure if she was a CPN, she was some kind of mental health lady... lovely girl ) seemed to agree with me that taking a year off would just lead to me getting bored and even worse.
    So glad to hear you're ok KMN.

    Think the CPN has a point, year out can mean sitting about being bored as hell, least with uni you'll be occupied and hopefully enjoying it.
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    (Original post by Ribbits)
    Hm, okay.

    I'm not sure what I have is a delusion then. I consider my Depression minor. It's confusing and doesn't make any sense because I'm effectively split in two and one side can analyse the other. I completely separate the illness from myself, but it does seem to steadily get more and more severe in the background. At the same time it also feels completely minor, because my normal self is fine so it can't be at all bad. I could never be suicidal or self-harming. It's hard to describe. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy does nothing for me because my attitude and thinking is genuinely completely healthy, logical, rational and optimistic. Despite this the illness still seems to have developed from Depression to Manic Depression (ultra ultra rapid cycling, making it more obvious even though it defies logic since the reality of my life is very good) and now the latest development has got me wondering if it has turned psychotic. I become really aware of the shape and size of my ribcage, I can feel it inside me and it's horrible because it is the wrong shape. I feel like I'd rather it was removed completely, or at least shortened (obviously I don't really, my organs would all be flopping about! That thought isn't nice to me either, but almost seems better than leaving it in when it's wrong). But this probably can't be a delusion if I don't believe it myself. I don't believe it is the wrong shape, it's completely fine. But the illness side of me does (I think) and I get horrible uncomfortable feelings around it on and off, when I am in a depressed state. I started to wonder if I should get a doctor to check it out, see if there is actually something physical - like the nerves around my ribcage making the uncomfortable sensations or a broken rib or something. But then other times I am sure it feels fine and there is nothing at all wrong, so I wonder if the fact that I do want it checked out by a doctor does mean I'm a bit deluded, even though I myself am not.

    I'll just have to see if this continues and then talk about it to the psychiatrist I suppose. I was just curious if anyone else on TSR had anything like it.

    I'm not on any drugs, the doctors are pretty sure I will have to go on some kind of anti-depressants - but I'm determined to beat this without them and they're willing to let me try. I don't want to mess with my brain.
    OK that doesn't sound like a delusion.
    Depression (and anxiety) can give physical symptoms like headaches, chest tightness, shortness of breath, feeling faint, racing heart etc. Your symptoms to do with your chest sound like anxiety symptoms to be honest.

    There's a really high cross over with a lot of depressed people also having some degree of anxiety, do you think that sounds more likely?
 
 
 
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