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    Keep getting an adrenaline rush when I think about suicide, anyone else have this?
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    I sometimes fantasise and get excited about the idea of suicide which can sometimes come along with an adrenaline rush
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    (Original post by sauce)
    :hugs: that would just end in you being constantly exhausted. I think I overdid it today But I'm going away on Friday :woo: Be good to be outside of this town for a bit!
    How are you as of recent?
    Cool, where you off to?

    I'm alright, kind of half dreading half excited about going back to uni. :o:


    Hey has anyone tried bupropion, anti-depressant?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Cool, where you off to?

    I'm alright, kind of half dreading half excited about going back to uni. :o:


    Hey has anyone tried bupropion, anti-depressant?
    Just North, not abroad :ashamed2:
    Woo @ the excitement about uni! Boo @ the dread!
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    (Original post by sauce)
    Just North, not abroad :ashamed2:
    Woo @ the excitement about uni! Boo @ the dread!
    North is nice, I prefer it to south England, the people seem to be more friendly and everything is cheaper (as long as you don't mean Scotland).


    Have a feeling I will be very much not excited come 2 weeks in when everything has gone wrong...oh well. just one more year, one more then FREEDOM!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    North is nice, I prefer it to south England, the people seem to be more friendly and everything is cheaper (as long as you don't mean Scotland).


    Have a feeling I will be very much not excited come 2 weeks in when everything has gone wrong...oh well. just one more year, one more then FREEDOM!
    No not scotland, just north of the good part of the UK (:wink2:) and yes it is so much cheaper! 105 quid for a double room, 3 nights and breakfast included :woo:
    Yay one more year! Just think of that I have at least four years learnings :emo:
    I wish food would cook faster!!!
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    Thinking about going to the doctors next week to go back on ADs after making a stupid decision to bin every single last one I had 3 months ago. And maybe pluck up the courage to get round to using the uni counselling service when I go back. I just feel so....inadequate. And not good enough for anyone.
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    So tired recently. :sigh:
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    (Original post by Agent Hairspray)
    Thinking about going to the doctors next week to go back on ADs after making a stupid decision to bin every single last one I had 3 months ago. And maybe pluck up the courage to get round to using the uni counselling service when I go back. I just feel so....inadequate. And not good enough for anyone.
    :hugs:
    I know how you feel, but no matter how convinced we are about being inadequate we must remember its not true. If you need to see the doctor for more then do it, you need to think about what is best for you, I think counselling will be worth a shot too...might think about going myself if things don't get any better/managable or if I don't hear from the therapist soon...
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    If i ring the CMHT, what happens? I cant get thoughts out of my mind..
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    If i ring the CMHT, what happens? I cant get thoughts out of my mind..
    Right now? Or in the morning?

    They'll talk to you for a bit to see what's going on and either tell you to go to sleep/use distraction techniques or come round and give you sleeping pills/talk to you/whatever they think you need.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Right now? Or in the morning?

    They'll talk to you for a bit to see what's going on and either tell you to go to sleep/use distraction techniques or come round and give you sleeping pills/talk to you/whatever they think you need.
    My nan is staying and my parents have tried to keep it hush about my illness. I just want to meet someone at a park or something and talk..

    I might leave home in the night now and get a train somewhere at dawn, I dont know how I would live or where I would get money from. I am sure my parents would not mind me taking the money they have in there purse/wallet, not as if they will need to be paying food or internet anymore.. so they would be better off within a month.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    My nan is staying and my parents have tried to keep it hush about my illness. I just want to meet someone at a park or something and talk..

    I might leave home in the night now and get a train somewhere at dawn, I dont know how I would live or where I would get money from. I am sure my parents would not mind me taking the money they have in there purse/wallet, not as if they will need to be paying food or internet anymore.. so they would be better off within a month.
    :console: I'd have thought if you call them up they might be able to meet you at a park or somewhere, they always turn up in pairs anyway so safety shouldn't be too big a problem.

    That doesn't sound like a great idea...are you ok? Your parents care about you they will mind if you just disappear, also without a plan and very little money things might not go too well. Why don't you give these people a call and see if they can do anything to help? If you do want to leave home then it's possible, they can help you get funding etc to help you but just doing it without a plan isn't such a good idea.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :console: I'd have thought if you call them up they might be able to meet you at a park or somewhere, they always turn up in pairs anyway so safety shouldn't be too big a problem.

    That doesn't sound like a great idea...are you ok? Your parents care about you they will mind if you just disappear, also without a plan and very little money things might not go too well. Why don't you give these people a call and see if they can do anything to help? If you do want to leave home then it's possible, they can help you get funding etc to help you but just doing it without a plan isn't such a good idea.
    Cant take it no more, I am going to leave before I do something much worse.

    Will try and post on here when I have things sorted out, good luck all :hugs:
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Cant take it no more, I am going to leave before I do something much worse.

    Will try and post on here when I have things sorted out, good luck all :hugs:
    :hugs: I hope you're ok, if you have a phone take it and don't be afraid to call someone if you need anything.
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    I regret everything.

    Can't think of a single thing I didn't mess up, I could have done everything I've ever done better or should have done it differently.


    I can't go back. It's a year of crying and hating every second. That's if I even survive, came so close to suicide the last 2 years so why will this one be any different? Even if I don't, then what will I have? A ****** 3rd class degree or one without honors, a huge waist from those ******* pills and messed up mutilated arms. Employers will be queuing up for me. :rolleyes:
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    I do NOT want tomorrow. I do not want to go to that freaking hospital and sit in a room with other emotionally stunted people, I don't want anything, I want to be dead, why is it so wrong for me to want to die? **** everyone else, they don't have to live the way I do, the lack of emotions, getting overly attached to people, never doing anything right, conflicted, all the ******* time, all I want is some ******* peace and quiet and rest and none of this.

    I dreamt about my ex again last night, I want him back but equally I don't want him back, I don't want anyone to 'keep' me here, I feel ******* trapped.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I regret everything.

    Can't think of a single thing I didn't mess up, I could have done everything I've ever done better or should have done it differently.


    I can't go back. It's a year of crying and hating every second. That's if I even survive, came so close to suicide the last 2 years so why will this one be any different? Even if I don't, then what will I have? A ****** 3rd class degree or one without honors, a huge waist from those ******* pills and messed up mutilated arms. Employers will be queuing up for me. :rolleyes:
    I think a lot of us can say that but you have decades to sort it out, a few bad years can be sorted out... a few decades cant.

    You still have plenty of options, you just need to work out which are best for you.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I do NOT want tomorrow. I do not want to go to that freaking hospital and sit in a room with other emotionally stunted people, I don't want anything, I want to be dead, why is it so wrong for me to want to die? **** everyone else, they don't have to live the way I do, the lack of emotions, getting overly attached to people, never doing anything right, conflicted, all the ******* time, all I want is some ******* peace and quiet and rest and none of this.

    I dreamt about my ex again last night, I want him back but equally I don't want him back, I don't want anyone to 'keep' me here, I feel ******* trapped.
    Things will get better, dont ask me how.. because I dont have a ******* clue myself.. but things will.

    There is a time you wont want to die.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I think a lot of us can say that but you have decades to sort it out, a few bad years can be sorted out... a few decades cant.

    You still have plenty of options, you just need to work out which are best for you.
    The things I've done can't be undone, or even sorted out, it's not a few bad years it's pretty much my whole life.

    Everytime I speak to my mum she asks whether I still want to do the career I have in mind, and then always tells me I haven't got a chance when I say yes. :rolleyes: Seems pointless to bother with next year at uni when it's not going to help in any way.



    How're you? What happened?
 
 
 
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