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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I always seem to take 2 steps forward and 5 steps back :sigh: :cry:
    Whats up? :hugs:
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    Just had a massive eating binge in order to try and make myself feel better. I now feel 10 x worse, because I'm a fat lump rather than just a lump. :sigh: I just hope I don't go back to how I was when I was around 15 with my various eating disorders.

    I've always had the worst relationship with food as it is.
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    Just had a massive eating binge in order to try and make myself feel better. I now feel 10 x worse, because I'm a fat lump rather than just a lump. :sigh: I just hope I don't go back to how I was when I was around 15 with my various eating disorders.

    I've always had the worst relationship with food as it is.
    :hugs: I can so relate. It is so tough Today all I have eaten is two large bowls of cereal, a banana and a gulp of mountain dew(which I felt awful about since I saw the cals) :erm:
    I really don't want to sink back into nasty old habits :sigh:
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    (Original post by sauce)
    :hugs: I can so relate. It is so tough Today all I have eaten is two large bowls of cereal, a banana and a gulp of mountain dew(which I felt awful about since I saw the cals) :erm:
    I really don't want to sink back into nasty old habits :sigh:
    Well done, you should be really proud of yourself! Oh God, now I feel even worse given all I've eaten. 4 mini rolls and a kit kat just. And I had a takeaway for lunch. =/ Toast for breakfast (white bread) which isn't exactly healthy either. FML. I might just eat fruit and stuff for the rest of the evening...

    I used to binge eat a couple of years ago and then punish myself for it, which probably made things even worse (I know that now). But I often feel like slipping back into it just to punish myself.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Whats up? :hugs:
    Just... arghhh. The day hospital today was pretty good, I felt like we actually did *something* rather than nothing but it's still very much group sessions and I find it so hard to open up. I'm starting to feel ready to accept the fact that I'm ill - not that it's a problem or something to be ashamed of. But equally I'm getting frustrated at the things I want to do and I just can't right now. Like being normal! Just got back from swimming and only had 20 minutes so I only said I'd do 20 lengths, I got to 10 and it was like swimming through treacle. Utter failure. I feel tired all the time and drained when I get home but I have loads of things to sort for uni and my parents keep tiptoeing around going 'oh, do you really want to go this year?' **** yes I want to go! It's my fresh start! Stop treating me like a 5 year old.

    My eating has gone back to **** again and I know that the last two weeks of binging have done damage and I'm now over 140lbs probably but I'm too scared to weigh myself because I wanted to be 128lbs before uni and it's totally not going to happen anymore and I just keep stuffing my face and have no self control. ARGH.

    I've started to flirt and talk to a guy I know, we're meeting on Thursday and I'm so nervous, partly because I don't know what I want, partly because I don't know what he wants, partly because I just can't summon the energy to be anything other than anxious.

    The one good thing atm though is that I'm sleeping really well atm :yy: :p:
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    Well done, you should be really proud of yourself! Oh God, now I feel even worse given all I've eaten. 4 mini rolls and a kit kat just. And I had a takeaway for lunch. =/ Toast for breakfast (white bread) which isn't exactly healthy either. FML. I might just eat fruit and stuff for the rest of the evening...

    I used to binge eat a couple of years ago and then punish myself for it, which probably made things even worse (I know that now). But I often feel like slipping back into it just to punish myself.
    Please don't say you feel worse now!!! :no: I didn't want that at all I just want you to know things can get better and things can change. :yep: I personally NEED to lose weight so am working towards it with a healthier way of eating(but three meals a day + snacks no binging then purging crap!) and exercising Lost over 9lbs so far :woo:
    You should eat a proper meal for dinner and don't try to get in that nasty cycle :console: It really isn't as bad as you think it is and if you make sure you now eat normally for the rest of the day it will be okay :hugs: trust me :yep:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Just... arghhh. The day hospital today was pretty good, I felt like we actually did *something* rather than nothing but it's still very much group sessions and I find it so hard to open up. I'm starting to feel ready to accept the fact that I'm ill - not that it's a problem or something to be ashamed of. But equally I'm getting frustrated at the things I want to do and I just can't right now. Like being normal! Just got back from swimming and only had 20 minutes so I only said I'd do 20 lengths, I got to 10 and it was like swimming through treacle. Utter failure. I feel tired all the time and drained when I get home but I have loads of things to sort for uni and my parents keep tiptoeing around going 'oh, do you really want to go this year?' **** yes I want to go! It's my fresh start! Stop treating me like a 5 year old.

    My eating has gone back to **** again and I know that the last two weeks of binging have done damage and I'm now over 140lbs probably but I'm too scared to weigh myself because I wanted to be 128lbs before uni and it's totally not going to happen anymore and I just keep stuffing my face and have no self control. ARGH.

    I've started to flirt and talk to a guy I know, we're meeting on Thursday and I'm so nervous, partly because I don't know what I want, partly because I don't know what he wants, partly because I just can't summon the energy to be anything other than anxious.

    The one good thing atm though is that I'm sleeping really well atm :yy: :p:
    I am glad to hear it is slowly starting to work, lots of small steps is the way forward..

    Its better to eat too much than too little, you can always lose weight when you have got yourself steady.

    And heh, I think those are problems most people have when meeting someone new :p:. I am sure it will go fine!
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    (Original post by Magnum Opus)
    You can always transfer, in fact, that might be best for you to try and transfer once you're there :hugs:
    Thats true :erm:

    Oh I dunno what to do :cry:
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    Feeling pretty ****. Not all too sure why.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Feeling pretty ****. Not all too sure why.
    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :hugs:
    Thanks. I'm feeling a little better now after looking at hair dyes but I'm more annoyed than upset now. But that's good, being annoyed at the price of hair dye beats the hell out of crying for no reason :yep:
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    (Original post by sauce)
    Please don't say you feel worse now!!! :no: I didn't want that at all I just want you to know things can get better and things can change. :yep: I personally NEED to lose weight so am working towards it with a healthier way of eating(but three meals a day + snacks no binging then purging crap!) and exercising Lost over 9lbs so far :woo:
    You should eat a proper meal for dinner and don't try to get in that nasty cycle :console: It really isn't as bad as you think it is and if you make sure you now eat normally for the rest of the day it will be okay :hugs: trust me :yep:
    Thank you :love: And thanks for giving me hope that it can get better too - I've literally been having this battle for years.

    I keep saying I'll try to change it and then it just doesn't happen. I need to lose weight as well... I guess worrying excessively and punishing myself won't help at all, though.
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    Thank you :love: And thanks for giving me hope that it can get better too - I've literally been having this battle for years.

    I keep saying I'll try to change it and then it just doesn't happen. I need to lose weight as well... I guess worrying excessively and punishing myself won't help at all, though.
    Worrying excessively and punishment never works especially with people who have a past of ED's. I don't undertstand why people don't accept that it has to be a permanent lifestyle change and everything in moderation and fad diets DO NOT WORK!!!! grrr :rolleyes:
    I recommend exercise highly as well as it can really boost your confidence and eases my depression sometimes.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Thanks. I'm feeling a little better now after looking at hair dyes but I'm more annoyed than upset now. But that's good, being annoyed at the price of hair dye beats the hell out of crying for no reason :yep:
    cool, what colour you thinking? :p:

    And hey, that's what a student loan is for




    nom nom nom just made honeycomb, I think it may have worked for the first time ever. :drool:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    cool, what colour you thinking? :p:

    And hey, that's what a student loan is for




    nom nom nom just made honeycomb, I think it may have worked for the first time ever. :drool:
    Ginger

    Ooh honeycomb :coma:
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    So sick of my friend, every time I email him it takes him like a week to reply, if he does at all. Ages ago he suggested we talk on skype, but that never happened either. Don't know whether it's cos he's lazy, just doesn't care, or if his girlfriend's stopping him speaking to me. Can't confront him about it cos I can't afford to lose one of the few friends I've got. Miserable.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Ginger

    Ooh honeycomb :coma:
    My face originally did this: :lolwut: Then looked at your pic, you seem quite pale so it would probably work well. Being different is fun :yy: Be nice to start uni with a change like that (well...unless you don't like it I guess). You could photoshop your hair beforehand to see what you think about it.


    From initial taste testing, possibly didn't put enough sugar (couldn't find a recipe I liked so just threw stuff in ).
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    (Original post by sauce)
    Worrying excessively and punishment never works especially with people who have a past of ED's. I don't undertstand why people don't accept that it has to be a permanent lifestyle change and everything in moderation and fad diets DO NOT WORK!!!! grrr :rolleyes:
    I recommend exercise highly as well as it can really boost your confidence and eases my depression sometimes.
    Same here. Quick fix, I suppose. And yeah, even doing a bit of exercise is like a massive personal challenge for me - just to get the motivation to even do it. It's like I want to destroy myself and watch myself become obese or something. It makes no sense.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    My face originally did this: :lolwut: Then looked at your pic, you seem quite pale so it would probably work well. Being different is fun :yy: Be nice to start uni with a change like that (well...unless you don't like it I guess). You could photoshop your hair beforehand to see what you think about it.


    From initial taste testing, possibly didn't put enough sugar (couldn't find a recipe I liked so just threw stuff in ).
    Well we'll just have to see how it turns out :erm: I'm rubbish with photoshop so can't :sigh:

    Haha, I did that with some biscuits earlier, only I added too much sugar and making them with olive oil tastes disgusting :sadnod: Didn't get told off for using too much butter though :top:

    Cooking is hard :sigh:
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    (Original post by Stressworthy)
    Same here. Quick fix, I suppose. And yeah, even doing a bit of exercise is like a massive personal challenge for me - just to get the motivation to even do it. It's like I want to destroy myself and watch myself become obese or something. It makes no sense.
    Quick fixes make people look absolutely awful though. :yy: Yeah I can relate to self destruction
 
 
 
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