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    (Original post by Bookface)
    Yeah, I actually responded to her immediately after posting that. I'd much rather her be happy than myself be happy.

    I think what you said, a strong attachment because of the depression, is probably likely. I honestly don't know. ****, I'm probably not even capable of love. My family are, for the most part, loving and supportive, but I honestly haven't felt any kind of affection for them in years. Four, maybe five. I've never had a properly close friendship for even longer, really only when I was a little kid. I tried getting to know strangers online to the point where our little group would call ourselves best friends, a few even developed romantic feelings and have eRelationships, but I never felt any kind of affection, it was just to waste time and fill boredom. I just... feel either nothing or self-hate, except in regards to her. But she deserves better, much better, so I'll just try to support her when she's desperate like this, do whatever little things I can to make her happy, and be lonely. Hell, you get used to loneliness right? I mean I was lonely before I met her, and I dealt with it, so eventually things will go back to how they were, yeah?
    Of course you're capable of love. The fact you can like this girl so much goes some way to prove that, and having a supportive family during your childhood will have made that possible too. I think its normal for affection in families to diminish once you're a teenager.

    You just said you haven't had a properly close friendship since you were a little kid, but the girl you're talking about must count. And how about the other people you met up with. I think you do have a few friends and have done but depression makes everything look worse than it really is. You obviously are capable of making friends so instead of trying to get used to loneliness, why not go out and put yourself in situations to meet new people?
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    Feel like ****. Past few days just getting worse and worse and only have a few weeks until I have to go back to that awful university. Goddamn. If I feel this **** now how am I going to feel once I'm actually back there? It's like being in prison, that's what it feels like (without the rape and er...etc). Hate it. Someone just reminded me again how I can't ever achieve my only real ambition, ******* great, feel even worse. Everything for absolutely nothing. What is the point again?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Feel like ****. Past few days just getting worse and worse and only have a few weeks until I have to go back to that awful university. Goddamn. If I feel this **** now how am I going to feel once I'm actually back there? It's like being in prison, that's what it feels like (without the rape and er...etc). Hate it. Someone just reminded me again how I can't ever achieve my only real ambition, ******* great, feel even worse. Everything for absolutely nothing. What is the point again?
    Sorry you feel rubbish :hugs:
    I don't know what your ambition is, but surely where there's a will there's a way. Hope you feel a bit better soon.
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    Sorry you feel rubbish :hugs:
    I don't know what your ambition is, but surely where there's a will there's a way. Hope you feel a bit better soon.
    It's not about having the will for it, it's basically impossible - about as likely as a Chinese Apple factory worker becoming US president. I can try and try and try but it's not going to happen unless requirements which cannot be changed are changed.



    Sorry if that sounds like I'm taking stuff out on you, it's not meant to, I appreciate you trying but it can't happen. It's not just that anyway it's everything, still feeling like utter **** tonight. ergh
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    I don't mind feeling physically ill but now I feel soooo down. I hate this.
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    I REFUSE to cry today....
    I'm just fed up of feeling this way, what I hate the most is that my physical health is being affected by this. I feel like I have something inside of me which needs to be released, like I'm about to burst. I wish there was a pill or something that would just make me forget everything. I cant go back to Uni in this state. I'm actually dreading going back now because that means pretending to be ok again....
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    God I hate life.
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    Pfffffffffffft! I really...I'm just lost for words. The world can really be a cruel place... With my anxiety issues the last thing I need is for people to mess with my head. :cry: I just dont want to be around people anymore, its too much, I'm a wreck, I feel physically sick. I don't understand how you can treat someone like **** who has been so good to you... thats what hurts the most and it keeps on happening... I just want to get away.
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    Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooom.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Pfffffffffffft! I really...I'm just lost for words. The world can really be a cruel place... With my anxiety issues the last thing I need is for people to mess with my head. :cry: I just dont want to be around people anymore, its too much, I'm a wreck, I feel physically sick. I don't understand how you can treat someone like **** who has been so good to you... thats what hurts the most and it keeps on happening... I just want to get away.
    Hey it sounds like your having a tough time at the moment :hugs:.

    I know I should remember.. but what treatment are you having? My memory is crap at the moment so please excuse me.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Hey it sounds like your having a tough time at the moment :hugs:.

    I know I should remember.. but what treatment are you having? My memory is crap at the moment so please excuse me.
    Thanks for the :hug:, just feel **** at the moment. No matter what I do its never good enough for people and I'm so physically and emotionally tired of this, I haven't enjoyed my summer at all, so much strife I just need to relax because its affecting my health.
    Haven't had any treatment, I'm on the waiting list for counselling but I dont know what's happened with that, I should give them a ring but I've just been so dispondent to even do anything about my situation. I just dont want it to affect my grades this year.

    How are you?
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Thanks for the :hug:, just feel **** at the moment. No matter what I do its never good enough for people and I'm so physically and emotionally tired of this, I haven't enjoyed my summer at all, so much strife I just need to relax because its affecting my health.
    Haven't had any treatment, I'm on the waiting list for counselling but I dont know what's happened with that, I should give them a ring but I've just been so dispondent to even do anything about my situation. I just dont want it to affect my grades this year.

    How are you?
    Why not go back to your GP and see if anything else can be done?

    When you say its not good enough for people.. can you explain that? What are people doing to give you that impression?

    And im ok mentally.. but physically I have got glandular fever at the moment so I see a few bed days ahead.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Why not go back to your GP and see if anything else can be done?

    When you say its not good enough for people.. can you explain that? What are people doing to give you that impression?

    And im ok mentally.. but physically I have got glandular fever at the moment so I see a few bed days ahead.
    Suppose I could go and see my GP if things get worse...

    I always seem to let people down, I'm always a disappointment. I give 100% to a person and yet they still mistreat me, if its not telling me that I'm useless then they'll treat me like I'm useless. I just manage to make people mad at me and want to hurt me...hard to explain but I feel like if I was someone else then people would treat me better because I deserved it.

    Ahh sorry to hear about the glandular fever, my flat mate had that, I hope you get better soon :hugs:
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    Ok, suicidal thoughts are well and truly back. Not active ones, but more roundabout ones, I spent a two hour car journey wondering whether the Menai bridge is easy to jump off or not :erm:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Ok, suicidal thoughts are well and truly back. Not active ones, but more roundabout ones, I spent a two hour car journey wondering whether the Menai bridge is easy to jump off or not :erm:
    :hugs: stay strong dont let the thoughts get to you, there is nothing that you cant face so don't let it beat you. What's wrong?
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :hugs: stay strong dont let the thoughts get to you, there is nothing that you cant face so don't let it beat you. What's wrong?
    Just stressing about uni, really stressing, who will I see before I go, can I get everything sorted, it feels surreal atm, I can't believe I'm out of here in 5 days :/

    When I went to Kent, I was just excited, and saying goodbye to people was exciting, now it feels like I'm tying up loose ends again and saying goodbye and not going to come back :erm: I am so scared that I'll be right back where I was just a month ago and I won't have my friends or family around to stop me this time.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    Suppose I could go and see my GP if things get worse...

    I always seem to let people down, I'm always a disappointment. I give 100% to a person and yet they still mistreat me, if its not telling me that I'm useless then they'll treat me like I'm useless. I just manage to make people mad at me and want to hurt me...hard to explain but I feel like if I was someone else then people would treat me better because I deserved it.

    Ahh sorry to hear about the glandular fever, my flat mate had that, I hope you get better soon :hugs:
    When you say people.. is this literally everyone you meet or is there a select few people this is common with? What kind of things are we talking about when you say letting people down etc..?

    Im just trying to build some kind of idea of it.
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    I have suffered depression in the past but I am over it.

    However lately I've been feeling very down due to stories in the news and political views etc.

    The world is truly a horrible place to live.

    But those who suffer depression are only those who feel the true pain through the atrocities in this world.

    Chins up, because no matter how grim an outlook on life is, whether you've lost a friend, family member, huge debts, failed university, you will always have a purpose in life.

    There's a dog out there, or may not be born yet, that will need you one day.

    There's a cat, who will lose it's leg by being ran over, which will need your love and care.

    There's always someone who would see destroyed forever to see you gone.

    Good luck guys, sincerely.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Just stressing about uni, really stressing, who will I see before I go, can I get everything sorted, it feels surreal atm, I can't believe I'm out of here in 5 days :/

    When I went to Kent, I was just excited, and saying goodbye to people was exciting, now it feels like I'm tying up loose ends again and saying goodbye and not going to come back :erm: I am so scared that I'll be right back where I was just a month ago and I won't have my friends or family around to stop me this time.
    Hey, good luck for uni. I hear it's supposed to be really exciting, so I hope everything works out for you
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    (Original post by Spanishdream)
    I have suffered depression in the past but I am over it.

    However lately I've been feeling very down due to stories in the news and political views etc.

    The world is truly a horrible place to live.

    But those who suffer depression are only those who feel the true pain through the atrocities in this world.

    Chins up, because no matter how grim an outlook on life is, whether you've lost a friend, family member, huge debts, failed university, you will always have a purpose in life.

    There's a dog out there, or may not be born yet, that will need you one day.

    There's a cat, who will lose it's leg by being ran over, which will need your love and care.

    There's always someone who would see destroyed forever to see you gone.

    Good luck guys, sincerely.
    Ah feck you made me cry.
 
 
 
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