Depression Society MKIII

So I went to GP on Friday, and she turned out to be really understanding. She told me to look after myself, stay off the booze and go back on Monday for a check-up. Really think I'll need some antidepressants now though... for the life of me, I could not avoid alcohol. That drunken feeling is only thing that makes life bearable.

This raises another problem. If I can't stop drinking, I'll be on the downward spiral into alcoholism, which of course will be exacerbated by my going to uni next week. I badly need some ******* help. Those of you who have experience with antidepressants, how long do they take to work and how exactly do they change your life for the better? I mean in terms thinking processes.

Ok I'm scaring myself now I can't do this

What's up?

I've just spent an hour researching suicide methods and am now petrified. I know that I can't do that any more and that I'd probably cock it up again leading to bad consequences but I can hear that little voice again telling me it's a good idea, that this method would work, that this one would be easy, that this would be painfree. I can't tell anyone because they'd stop me from going to uni - I don't know why I think it'll get better at uni, or less frequent, or whatever, cos if anything it'll just get worse. Arghhh ******.

I think I'm going to turn the laptop off and try to get some sleep for my own safety...

You've taken the first steps, that's a start at least.

Bad news is that antidepressants can take a while to kick in, as in weeks, although you might feel nauseous from the first pill which might help you stop drinking.

I used to do a fair bit of drinking, yeah the feeling when you're drunk is definitely preferable to feeling depressed, however it, as you know, doesn't solve anything and when you sober up you're still going to feel like ****. It's also very very expensive, which when you first get your student loan doesn't seem so bad but you need to buy food etc so it does eat into quite a large chunk if you let it. Those are the things you gotta remember, by all means have a drink now and then but when you're drunk you won't be thinking clearly, you might do things you don't want to. Furthermore, you'll be in the same position in the morning so it hasn't helped in any way really. I know it's not as simple as just stop because yeah it feels much better, but maybe try to limit yourself? If you're drinking beer then only buy a 4 pack instead of a huge crate. With vodka if you mix it then you should get through it slower which might help. It's easy to get carried away, especially if you're just starting university.

Sorry if this sounds patronizing, it's not meant to, I'm just trying to help. Kind of know the feeling you're describing.

sleep sounds like a very, very good idea.

With the uni thing, I don't remember if you're going far, but it might be worth telling your GP to maybe write to the doctor you register with, so that hopefully stuff will be easier for you to get help when you get there. You could also get in touch with your university's disability people (if they have mental health stuff) and possibly counseling or something. I know it's really intimidating starting again, but things don't have to be the same as before, it's a fresh start, throw yourself in and give it your best. Stuff might turn out amazing, but you don't know until you've tried.


tbh, I doubt they'd be painfree....

Sleep was a bad plan. I got about 4 hours and all of that was filled with nightmares... I dreamt my best friend turned up at the coffee shop I was in in tears, when I asked her why she said our other mate who I'm very close to was killing himself... Was horrible, I can't even describe it. Woke up crying and couldn't move out of my bed for a good half hour because I just couldn't process anything... I hate these dreams, there must be something to stop them?

Already got that sorted, registered with the uni practice and the nurse at the day hospital forwarded on my notes to them so I just have to go in and make an appointment in Freshers to talk to them really, and see what services they have. I'm hoping that they'll have some kind of talking therapy tbh.

Probably not. I figured out this morning that I don't *want* to die, I just don't want to live like this any more. I need to get out of my head that suicide is the only option, because I know it's not. It's just an attractive one.

Maybe they're your mind's way of trying to put you off suicide? Not nice though

I've forgotten, what help are you getting at the moment?

Maybe, maybe.

Er, none at this moment in time, I'm on the bit between getting help here and getting help at uni.

Oh okay Just make sure you do get some when you get to uni, you deserve help.

I don't think I can not get help Not with what I'm studying and being so far away from home... Do or die I think.

I don't think I can not get help Not with what I'm studying and being so far away from home... Do or die I think.

Even though I feel **** physically.. I feel good mentally.. not even manic (yet).. Just nicely in the middle.. I should have gone to the doctors years ago.. but better late than never.

Hope you don't mind me butting in but I was going through a tough time when I was at Bangor.. don't think i was totally depressed exactly, but things weren't exactly good..
The uni were FANTASTIC!
The doctors were really understanding and dealt with matters quickly.
The counselling service was second to none. They did workshops and I had a load of one on one sessions learning how to deal with my own anxieties and she really knew her stuff, teaching me all about the biology of everything and loads of different coping mechanisms.
The uni were really understanding - if i missed lectures because I was in too much of a state to go in, they'd do extra bits and bobs for me and i met up with some of the lecturers individually to go through things that i'd missed.
I can't fault Bangor at all from that point of view!

When one problem seems dealt with, another arises.