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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    It's my sister's birthday today (or rather, would have been). This time, last year, I had bought her so many presents. Nothing to give to no one this year... :sad:
    I am sorry to hear that . I hope you get through it okay.. they do say it gets easier with time.. although I dont know myself. Stay strong

    --

    Not taking the meds anymore, **** feeling like a zombie all the time.. Will probably get nasty side effects... meh.. I dont care right now.
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    Right so 7.5 hours until someone is going to come and see me... I have no sleeping tablets left and my thoughts (not good ones) are ******* racing. Well this is going to be a fun night.. Lets hope The Inbetweeners can cheer me up!
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Right so 7.5 hours until someone is going to come and see me... I have no sleeping tablets left and my thoughts (not good ones) are ******* racing. Well this is going to be a fun night.. Lets hope The Inbetweeners can cheer me up!
    antihistamines instead?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    antihistamines instead?
    Correct me if im wrong (as usual) but are they not used to treat allergies? Im confused..

    EDIT: I see Quetiapine is one.. seems strange..
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Correct me if im wrong (as usual) but are they not used to treat allergies? Im confused..

    EDIT: I see Quetiapine is one.. seems strange..
    Yeah they are but a lot of them are sedating so it might work for you. Tbh they probably work better than otc sleeping pills :p:

    (though obviously not good every night)


    Do you have the number for your local crisis team? They can bring round actual sleeping tablets if you give them a call. Depending on what meds you're meant to be on (sorry can't recall), the lack of sleeping might be because you haven't taken them.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Yeah they are but a lot of them are sedating so it might work for you. Tbh they probably work better than otc sleeping pills :p:

    (though obviously not good every night)


    Do you have the number for your local crisis team? They can bring round actual sleeping tablets if you give them a call. Depending on what meds you're meant to be on (sorry can't recall), the lack of sleeping might be because you haven't taken them.
    Tbh even then proper sleepin tablets did **** all when I had racing thoughts.. Except 10mg of Diazepam which just knocked me the **** out.

    I will see what I can find though.. anything is better than nothing.. thanks for the idea!

    How are you?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Tbh even then proper sleepin tablets did **** all when I had racing thoughts.. Except 10mg of Diazepam which just knocks you the **** out.

    I will see what I can find though.. anything is better than nothing.. thanks for the idea!

    How are you?
    Depends on the dose of sleeping tablets you were taking, sometimes 1 zopiclone would do nothing for me (3.75?) but 2 or 3 would get me to sleep. For racing thoughts nothing worked as well as stelazine for me, but it's prescription and you said earlier you're trying to get off meds. Problem with diazepam is doctors don't really like prescribing it.

    I'm alright, thanks


    Hope you manage to get some sleep, I think it's possible to od on antihistamines (no idea what it would do to you) so be careful not to :p:
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    Half a dozen cold and flu tablets later did I realise they were designed to be taken in the day and so didnt contain any antihistamines :facepalm: Atleast if I get the flu I should be ok!
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Half a dozen cold and flu tablets later did I realise they were designed to be taken in the day and so didnt contain any antihistamines :facepalm: Atleast if I get the flu I should be ok!
    :mmm: I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh at that.
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    Blahhhhhh. :sigh:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Blahhhhhh. :sigh:
    Hey hey whats up? :hugs:
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    Ok now this is the time I realise that coming off Quetiapine cold turkey is such a bad idea... Its 12:35pm the next day and I am bouncing off the ******* walls, I feel sick, im sweating like hell and I seem to be laughing at everything including stuff I shouldnt. And this is after missing one dose yesterday.... what the **** am I going to be like in a week.. On the plus side I slowly seem to be becoming more alert.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Hey hey whats up? :hugs:
    Just... mmm. I'm pretty happy atm, Freshers is fun, I'm really excited to start my subject and I like my flatmates, but something's missing.

    And I can't stop thinking about SI. I have to wear my trigger every day on my wrists, it's horrible.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Just... mmm. I'm pretty happy atm, Freshers is fun, I'm really excited to start my subject and I like my flatmates, but something's missing.

    And I can't stop thinking about SI. I have to wear my trigger every day on my wrists, it's horrible.
    Its not going to become perfect overnight though just because of uni.. although its really good that your happy . It shows your going the right way...

    Are the thoughts about SI getting any weaker over time? If not I hope they do for you over time.
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    I seem to be coping with being back at uni better than i expected Though eating has been pretty bad lately and my GP weighed me and I'm underweight and don't know how to feel about that. I don't have another appointment for a month so she obviously thinks i'm getting better. I just saw her in my new local pub which was horrible. She must have seen me. Urghhh.

    Hope everyone else is ok and if anyone else has just started or gone back to uni it's going well.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Its not going to become perfect overnight though just because of uni.. although its really good that your happy . It shows your going the right way...

    Are the thoughts about SI getting any weaker over time? If not I hope they do for you over time.
    I suppose. The downs don't seem to be as much of a black hole atm, just a more pensive, thoughtful kind of down. Which is annoying, I don't like considering my life anymore. I was walking to a lecture today, and it felt almost like home. Odd words when I've only been here a few days, but it just felt... right. A strangely similar feeling to the one I had the day I tried to kill myself. Hmm. I don't know what to make of that.

    Not really. I think about it more now than I did before, I think. It's odd, I kinda miss it... :o: Just knowing that I had something, something secret (well, almost), something that was just *me*, arghhh. There's no motivation this time, I just want it... Stupid, stupid.

    I think I may need to make that appointment with the Dr up here that I promised my CPN I'd be making :o:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I suppose. The downs don't seem to be as much of a black hole atm, just a more pensive, thoughtful kind of down. Which is annoying, I don't like considering my life anymore. I was walking to a lecture today, and it felt almost like home. Odd words when I've only been here a few days, but it just felt... right. A strangely similar feeling to the one I had the day I tried to kill myself. Hmm. I don't know what to make of that.

    Not really. I think about it more now than I did before, I think. It's odd, I kinda miss it... :o: Just knowing that I had something, something secret (well, almost), something that was just *me*, arghhh. There's no motivation this time, I just want it... Stupid, stupid.

    I think I may need to make that appointment with the Dr up here that I promised my CPN I'd be making :o:
    You have had a hard time.. Its good that you feel at home already.. too be honest I wouldnt try and make anything of it.. its just another sign that your clearly happy at uni and thats awesome.

    Its still progress.. I think its quite natural to still think about that stuff after the motivation has gone.. I still think about suicide a lot even though I have no current urge.. I guess I just like the idea of having something in the case of all else failing.

    And I think that would be a smart move :yep:

    ----

    Now 39 hours with no sleep.. And I still in some ways feel like I am god. Please please work sleeping tablets.. Im guessing I will start to crack after another day.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    You have had a hard time.. Its good that you feel at home already.. too be honest I wouldnt try and make anything of it.. its just another sign that your clearly happy at uni and thats awesome.

    Its still progress.. I think its quite natural to still think about that stuff after the motivation has gone.. I still think about suicide a lot even though I have no current urge.. I guess I just like the idea of having something in the case of all else failing.

    And I think that would be a smart move :yep:

    ----

    Now 39 hours with no sleep.. And I still in some ways feel like I am god. Please please work sleeping tablets.. Im guessing I will start to crack after another day.
    Maybe, I'm wary of falling into the 'OMG EXCITEMENT' trap though, and then three weeks later turning around and going, oh, actually... A hard time? No harder and even easier than some people... I shouldn't be this weak.

    I can't stop thinking about when I tried to kill myself. One of the other patients at the hospital pointed out that it was just a cry for help and I think I was probably trying to test people, see what they really meant to me, if that makes sense? After all, there's many ways to kill yourself that are far more effective than what I did. I don't want that to be my fall back. I want to be stronger than that! My scars keep coming up at really bad times, earlier in the kitchen my flatmate asked me about them and I just brushed it off, I mean, what am I meant to say to that? So annoyed right now I promised I'd never hurt myself again.

    --

    :hugs: What ways have you tried to get to sleep?
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Maybe, I'm wary of falling into the 'OMG EXCITEMENT' trap though, and then three weeks later turning around and going, oh, actually... A hard time? No harder and even easier than some people... I shouldn't be this weak.

    I can't stop thinking about when I tried to kill myself. One of the other patients at the hospital pointed out that it was just a cry for help and I think I was probably trying to test people, see what they really meant to me, if that makes sense? After all, there's many ways to kill yourself that are far more effective than what I did. I don't want that to be my fall back. I want to be stronger than that! My scars keep coming up at really bad times, earlier in the kitchen my flatmate asked me about them and I just brushed it off, I mean, what am I meant to say to that? So annoyed right now I promised I'd never hurt myself again.

    --

    :hugs: What ways have you tried to get to sleep?
    Yeah.. just need to get a balance really.. but you seem to be doing that quite well. And hey dont go on about weak.. for a start without taking into account other life events its an illness.. Some of the greatest minds in the world have suffered from depression.

    Im exactly the same thinking about it.. Its perfectly natural... Its a big event and because of it a lot of things occur.. its normal to think back and reflect on that. And if it was a cry for help or not.. You got the help and thats what you should take away from it.. thats all that matters.

    And deal with it how you want.. maybe it will be best to work out exactly what you want to say when someone asks and then everyone gets the same story? I am **** for ideas with my thinking at the moment but I am sure there are a few things you could say if you want to try and play it off as something else. Say you ran into a glass door or something a while ago.. it might not trick some people but :hugs: Your still standing and thats all that matters.. Maybe as you get to know some over the months you might even get to the stage where you want to tell a few people the truth.. all your choices and its totally up to you.

    --

    Erm I took three sleeping tablets last night.. I lied down for about 2 hours but nothing.. didnt even make me drowsy.. I think I will pop off now and take some more and see if it works.. My mind is just buzzing so I have not tried much because im not even midly tired. You take care :hugs:
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    :emo: why cant I just be normal and like food...met up with one of my old friends and she said I'd lost so much weight....what a mess this is...
 
 
 
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