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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Mmm, it kinda comes and goes. Well, I guess that makes sense if it's a cycle :p:

    I dunno, I guess it's been since the depression really hit properly, I can remember being the same before my first OD. So yeah, I guess so.

    Still need to phone the doctor :o: Not mentioned it to anyone else, at the day hospital and in A+E etc. I made sure to say the 'right thing' so they wouldn't keep me longer than I had to be there.
    Set a time and place that your going to ring the doctors and try and stick to it.. it means its harder for you to back out and just say "oh i will do it some other time" maybe?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Well then maybe the tablets dont work for you, be honest with the doctor and then they can decide whats best to do now
    Well the dr didn't seem in a gd mood today! He said I had never told him about the headaches before...when I have! Then uped my citalopram dose and gave me co-codamol for the headaches as well as the propranolol... Im gonna be walking round like a drugged up zombie then! ffs Oh well if they don't go away with the co-codamol then im assuming they'll MRI me...For someone who hates taking something minor like paracetamol...I just dont like having to take so many meds and want to be happy and better!

    sorry just needed to rant a bit...
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Have to fill out some form....need two non-family people to sign it.....I don't have 2 people. I am pathetic. Feel like **** today.
    :hugs: I wouldn't have two people either. Maybe ask your neighbours?
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    :hugs: I wouldn't have two people either. Maybe ask your neighbours?
    They have to actually know me, it also needs to be done in the next couple of days.

    Oh well.


    How're you?
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    :sigh:
    It's amazing how the smallest things can be a huge catalyst.
    I feel like a total failure for something that isn't my fault. School crap....
    I asked my RS teacher what's going to happen with my predicted grades because I'm doing AS and A2 in a year because I missed a year cause of stupid hospital.
    Obviously they can't really predict me a grade because they have nothing to go on and he said that. I expected it, I even ASKED him not to predict me a grade because if it's crap I won't get offers and surely universities can just say 'get X grade in RS' in my offer can't they?

    But now I feel like a total failure because people I'm 'against' will be predicted 3 As/3A*s and I'm 'only' predicted 2 As and I'm going to look crap in comparison to them, especially looking at my AS grades in the subjects I dropped (D and E) and my GCSE grades. But it's not my fault is it? I can't do anything about it!
    But that's triggered me into feeling absolutely inadequate at everything which is making me wonder why I even tried to pretend I could be 'normal'.

    On the up-side, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm going to ask for a doctor's note to give to my exams officer for extra time I'm hesitant to take but feel I'm going to need as contingency if things get any worse and also a note I can show my head of year to explain why I missed a year/my difficulties in general. I hope it doesn't look like an excuse.
    I'm struggling with eating disordered thoughts and behaviours but I don't know what the GP can do. Eating disorder outpatient services made me worse last time. I can't have anything to do with them. I just need to ride it out and pick it up. Easier said than done, unfortunately. I've been trying to pick up the same 'slip' for about 3 weeks now. :erm:
    Got an appointment with my liaison nurse next week Thursday but again, I don't know what she can do. I have a UEA open day on Saturday which should hopefully be the motivation I need to eat enough. I want to go there so much. But then, inadequacy again. I don't think I'm going to get into university anywhere. :cry:

    Oh and I have coursework that I can't seem to start because I think I'm going to fail.

    Sorry for the rant guys...
    Hope you guys are semi ok. :hugs:

    Kiss_me_now, I agree with IdiotFinder, it's so hard making the first call so if you set a time, you can't back out. Though that might be building it up more, maybe... Maybe you could try to call one more time and if you still can't, then set the time?
    How are you hun? :hugs:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    They have to actually know me, it also needs to be done in the next couple of days.

    Oh well.


    How're you?
    Doctor/cpn/someone then maybe?

    I'm alright, kind of bored though.

    You survive your flight ok?
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Doctor/cpn/someone then maybe?

    I'm alright, kind of bored though.

    You survive your flight ok?
    Not talking to them anymore. :huff: Flight was alright, finally got to watch
    that Prince of Persia film (highly recommended btw :yy: ), also eating an incredible bacon and ham sandwich and watching everyone else eating their ****** "beef" "lasagna" and them watching me back is pretty damn good fun. om nom


    Good to hear you're alright, dunno what you could do about the boredom....you could walk to the local blockbuster and then look through the films and then find prince of persia and then hand over your money to the cashier and then walk back and then watch it? Probably an easier way of achieving the same result there :flute:
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    I feel crap tonight. I really miss someone I can't contact anymore. And I've got a headache now. I hate missing people.
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    I have not felt this bad in quite a while... I want to have the balls to do it.
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    I feel crap tonight. I really miss someone I can't contact anymore. And I've got a headache now. I hate missing people.
    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I have not felt this bad in quite a while... I want to have the balls to do it.
    :grouphugs: Best thing for both of you to do is try and distract yourselves. Maybe go for a walk or watch a film. Or just piss about on tsr of course. :p:
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I have not felt this bad in quite a while... I want to have the balls to do it.
    :hugs: Keep on going sweetheart. You're so much stronger than that.

    (Original post by Saffie)
    x
    I'm sorry you feel like that, I'm the same atm, I miss someone so terribly but I know they've not even given me a second thought in the last month, let alone the last hour like I've been thinking about them. I keep catching pictures of them on FaceBook and reminiscing... :o: :console: Wolf is right, distracting yourself and NOT moping about on facebook going through old photos is the best way to deal with it.

    --

    Every day I want to hurt myself again, it gets stronger everyday. I'm going to be booking a Drs appointment tomorrow between my lectures :/ I'm so scared though that they'll either laugh it off (why would they, they didn't the first time) or they'll suggest something like pills again or even worse. :cry:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    --

    Every day I want to hurt myself again, it gets stronger everyday. I'm going to be booking a Drs appointment tomorrow between my lectures :/ I'm so scared though that they'll either laugh it off (why would they, they didn't the first time) or they'll suggest something like pills again or even worse. :cry:
    They wont laugh it off.. they might suggest meds or whatever but they do seem to like giving people the choice of other options. What would you like yourself?

    ---
    Might trigger:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I had a dream I did it last night, its almost given me the courage, it was soo easy, just had to stand there.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    They wont laugh it off.. they might suggest meds or whatever but they do seem to like giving people the choice of other options. What would you like yourself?

    ---
    Might trigger:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    I had a dream I did it last night, its almost given me the courage, it was soo easy, just had to stand there.
    I honestly don't know what I want anymore. I don't think a talking therapy would do anything. I don't think I can wait long enough to find out either. I don't think meds are good at all... I don't think I have any options :o:Appointment booked for Thursday morning, 10am.

    I dreamt the other night that I was being chased by a mannequin... I hope that dream nor your dream comes true. Stay strong, you've been amazing support for me :hugs:
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    ergh feel sick, headachey, earpainy and all round general ****. Counting down the days until I have to go back to that prison.



    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Might trigger:
    Spoiler:
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    I had a dream I did it last night, its almost given me the courage, it was soo easy, just had to stand there.
    :console:

    Without trying to sound nasty....dreams aren't reality.
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    :hugs: to those who need them. I'm doing ok, back at uni. I've realised that I have some good friends who I'm lucky to have so I shouldnt let bad experiences with others get to me.
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :hugs: to those who need them. I'm doing ok, back at uni. I've realised that I have some good friends who I'm lucky to have so I shouldnt let bad experiences with others get to me.
    I'm glad uni's going well for you. You deserve to be happy.


    I'm busy worrying about some evening classes I'm starting later this week. It's been about a year since I last did any studying. Plus there's the thought of being surrounded by strangers.
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    Had a long talk with my dad tonight.. I think I had disillusioned myself a bit over somethings.. I feel a lot better for it and I think I gave my dad some insight into how I feel. Hmm.
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    my bf excused my past problems as "childhood drama" and I had a massive go and exploded everything that has ****** me up to him. He changed his tune.
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    Told two of my flatmates what I got up to this summer (the depression and the suicide attempts) and about Thursday morning and they both said they'd come with me if I wanted them too. :o:

    Wine makes me sleepy
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    (Original post by sauce)
    my bf excused my past problems as "childhood drama" and I had a massive go and exploded everything that has ****** me up to him. He changed his tune.
    Maybe he didnt realise the scale of it? Is it sorted now? :hugs:

    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Told two of my flatmates what I got up to this summer (the depression and the suicide attempts) and about Thursday morning and they both said they'd come with me if I wanted them too. :o:

    Wine makes me sleepy
    Sounds like you have some good friends there
 
 
 
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