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    went round to a friends today and actually had a gd time...maybe things are getting better for me...no major disastors! Headaches still not going away though but will worry about that later. Hope everyone else is feeling a bit better too or if not they do soon xxxx
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    (Original post by RachelOranges)
    :hugs: to those who need them. I'm doing ok, back at uni. I've realised that I have some good friends who I'm lucky to have so I shouldnt let bad experiences with others get to me.
    :hugs: I'm so glad hun! I hope things continue this way.

    Oh yeah, I went to the GP today and I'm being put on new antidepressants so hopefully I'll see a difference. Also, taking part in an eating disorder relapse prevention study thing and I'm part of the group who gets the intervention and I got the booklet in the post. I think it could be really helpful to me, I'm just finding it very triggering because I think I'm in a bit of a precarious position and all the talk of readmission (it's for people who have just been discharged from hospital) is scaring the **** out of me but in a paralysing way, not in a I must eat way. Though I did eat. And I feel like ****. But I did it.

    Haven't felt this awful in a while. Feeling, not quite suicidal but apathetic. I'm sick of everyday being a struggle from the second I get out of bed to the moment I get back in. I'm sick of never feeling good enough and every attempt I make to be better, failing. I'm sick of feeling alone. I feel like I'm a burden and a drain on everyone and it would be better if no-one had to deal with my ****. I don't want to deal with it either. I'm so so tired of myself. I can feel myself sinking into depression again, I just really really hope the pills work.

    I feel so guilty posting here because I know I haven't been a great support here but I'm sorry... I'll be better. I hope you are all relatively ok. :hugs:

    Edit: Think I might go to bed now. If you quote me, I'll respond tomorrow. Night... xxx
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I'm glad uni's going well for you. You deserve to be happy.


    I'm busy worrying about some evening classes I'm starting later this week. It's been about a year since I last did any studying. Plus there's the thought of being surrounded by strangers.
    Thanks :o: just hope it lasts.

    Ahh I know it can be scary. Going back to Uni after what seemed like an eternity away was a bit scary for me but I'm sure you'll feel better once you get into the swing of things, and being surround by strangers gives you the opportunity to make a fresh start and meet new people which can be nice. :yep:
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    Why do things never go right for me? Just found out I'm on the ground floor at uni again....same room as last year, where people walk past my window and stare in, or laugh or throw ****, or take pictures or it's hot and I can't open the window, where I'm right next to the hall warden (probably so I don't off myself :rolleyes: ), dammit, I know it's stupid but it's really getting to me, I was really hoping for not the ground floor, also haven't done some form, needed it by wednesady but I'm such a pathetic loser I can't get 2 people to sign it. Seriously, wtf kind of twenty something year old can't manage to get 2 non-family members to sign something? Total ******* freak loser one like me. :rolleyes:

    things are getting bad again, really ******* bad, supermarkets are not good places to be the laughing and following and staring and shouting have started really properly again, saw a gp who said to call the people but I hate them and I'll get more mind destroying drugs....meant to be doing university, pretty ******* impossible with 14hours of sleep a day and staring at a wall blankly for the remaining hours. yeah right that's going to ******* work.

    I'm sorry for the rant, just go cry in bed again instead, I sound completely pathetic yes I'm aware of that, I should write this somewhere else but frankly there really isn't anywhere, I guess a word file, but then I couldn't entertain all those idiot tsr idiots who probably read my posts for kicks at my pathetic life. down down down down down again, what are you meant to do once you realize that actually the only thing you were staying around for will never happen? I'm sorry guys for being such a pathetic freak and messing up your society pages with my crap.
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    it true that its bad to drink while on anti-depresants?

    I havent had any issues thus far, im just curious as freshers week is coming up and I dont want to end up either really low or sick or something

    anyway, this week has been annoyingly dull and depressing, dont go to Uni till sunday and my word is my home life BORING, seriously, I have literally nothing to do till Sunday apart from pack, even then that wont take me that long
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    (Original post by SciFiBoy)
    it true that its bad to drink while on anti-depresants?

    I havent had any issues thus far, im just curious as freshers week is coming up and I dont want to end up either really low or sick or something

    anyway, this week has been annoyingly dull and depressing, dont go to Uni till sunday and my word is my home life BORING, seriously, I have literally nothing to do till Sunday apart from pack, even then that wont take me that long
    I believe that generally they just make you possibly get drunk easier and tired. Although im sure a quick google search of the specific drug and alcohol effects will probably tell you better.

    Just try and get through the week.. movies.. anything to keep you occupied.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I believe that generally they just make you possibly get drunk easier and tired. Although im sure a quick google search of the specific drug and alcohol effects will probably tell you better.

    Just try and get through the week.. movies.. anything to keep you occupied.
    oh, okay, well if it just makes me get drunk easier then thats not too bad, lol

    yep, I have taken to rewatching my Star Trek Voyager and Deep Space Nine boxsets to get through
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    hi guys, thought i'd give u all an update. i am in new zealnd now...have been to hawaii and fiji since last posting here. i am gladto say that i think my 5 year spell of depression has gone! Travelling has been the cure. I have to wait and see if being back in the UK brings depression back or not but as of the last 3 months i've been amazing!!!!! I hope you all are well and got the exam results u wanted and all
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Why do things never go right for me? Just found out I'm on the ground floor at uni again....same room as last year, where people walk past my window and stare in, or laugh or throw ****, or take pictures or it's hot and I can't open the window, where I'm right next to the hall warden (probably so I don't off myself :rolleyes: ), dammit, I know it's stupid but it's really getting to me, I was really hoping for not the ground floor, also haven't done some form, needed it by wednesady but I'm such a pathetic loser I can't get 2 people to sign it. Seriously, wtf kind of twenty something year old can't manage to get 2 non-family members to sign something? Total ******* freak loser one like me. :rolleyes:

    things are getting bad again, really ******* bad, supermarkets are not good places to be the laughing and following and staring and shouting have started really properly again, saw a gp who said to call the people but I hate them and I'll get more mind destroying drugs....meant to be doing university, pretty ******* impossible with 14hours of sleep a day and staring at a wall blankly for the remaining hours. yeah right that's going to ******* work.

    I'm sorry for the rant, just go cry in bed again instead, I sound completely pathetic yes I'm aware of that, I should write this somewhere else but frankly there really isn't anywhere, I guess a word file, but then I couldn't entertain all those idiot tsr idiots who probably read my posts for kicks at my pathetic life. down down down down down again, what are you meant to do once you realize that actually the only thing you were staying around for will never happen? I'm sorry guys for being such a pathetic freak and messing up your society pages with my crap.
    You're not a loser or a freak or pathetic. You're a human being going through a tough time.

    You were unlucky with getting a ground floor room, but you haven't even arrived yet - it might turn out you have really nice flatmates, or something else good.

    You need to stop stressing about every little thing that goes wrong, that can't be helping with how you're feeling.

    Hope things get better. :hugs:
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    Saber, I'm ground floor too which I was totally dreading BUT I would totally opt for it now. The walk home is quicker (especially when drunk :p:), when it's raining you can run back into your room and it's much more homely, I think. Yes, hearing everyone upstairs is a pain and you can't leave your window open but generally; it has more pros than cons.

    ******* low tonight. Sigh. I really don't want to go to the doctor tomorrow :cry: I had a small lunch about middayish and all through cheerleading I could feel that biting hunger again, and I was really enjoying that. Came home and forced a pasta thing that was going out of date down my throat, otherwise I wouldn't have eaten anything.
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    (Original post by blue_shift86)
    hi guys, thought i'd give u all an update. i am in new zealnd now...have been to hawaii and fiji since last posting here. i am gladto say that i think my 5 year spell of depression has gone! Travelling has been the cure. I have to wait and see if being back in the UK brings depression back or not but as of the last 3 months i've been amazing!!!!! I hope you all are well and got the exam results u wanted and all
    So pleased for you :hugs:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    ******* low tonight. Sigh. I really don't want to go to the doctor tomorrow :cry: I had a small lunch about middayish and all through cheerleading I could feel that biting hunger again, and I was really enjoying that. Came home and forced a pasta thing that was going out of date down my throat, otherwise I wouldn't have eaten anything.
    I know you dont want too :hugs: Do you think if your flatmates came it would be better or worse?

    Are you going to mention the eating when you go?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    I know you dont want too :hugs: Do you think if your flatmates came it would be better or worse?

    Are you going to mention the eating when you go?
    I don't know. Probably worse. I'm going to ask my friend from home to get me up by texting me at 9am to make sure I am up for it... I haven't got a clue where it is :/

    I don't think so, unless they directly ask, I don't think it'd have a lot of relevance as I've spent the last two weeks eating like a ******* pig in a trough and probably put about a stone on - they'd definitely laugh at that one.

    Going out tonight is SUCH a bad plan. **** it. **** it all.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I don't know. Probably worse. I'm going to ask my friend from home to get me up by texting me at 9am to make sure I am up for it... I haven't got a clue where it is :/

    I don't think so, unless they directly ask, I don't think it'd have a lot of relevance as I've spent the last two weeks eating like a ******* pig in a trough and probably put about a stone on - they'd definitely laugh at that one.

    Going out tonight is SUCH a bad plan. **** it. **** it all.
    Have you got an address for it? Ahh if you have been eating okay then.

    Take care of yourself :hugs:
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Have you got an address for it? Ahh if you have been eating okay then.

    Take care of yourself :hugs:
    Yeah. Got a vague idea where it is - I'll look it up on googlemaps. My eating tends to go between stuffing everything in sight and then not eating for two weeks straight anyway :o:
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    I sort of feel like I'm going down hill again. I haven't eaten in about a week, I just ordered a pack of razor blades so I can start properly cutting after about a three or so weeks of not doing so at all, and the anti-anxiety medication I was taking for college seems to not be as helpful lately because I'm almost as nervous and scared going now as I was before I got put on. Still haven't talked to a single student, or had any real social interaction.

    On the slightly brighter side, I got back the first English essay we did this year and the teacher approached me to say I was working at a level far ahead of the rest of the class, and I should probably be doing Higher English instead of Intermediate 2. I told her that I probably wouldn't be able to handle the anxiety of that this year though, and she understood and said if the class is ever moving too slow I'm allowed to just bring out a book and do some personal reading. Felt pretty cool, and I shall abuse the **** out of this privilege.
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    (Original post by Bookface)
    I sort of feel like I'm going down hill again. I haven't eaten in about a week, I just ordered a pack of razor blades so I can start properly cutting after about a three or so weeks of not doing so at all, and the anti-anxiety medication I was taking for college seems to not be as helpful lately because I'm almost as nervous and scared going now as I was before I got put on. Still haven't talked to a single student, or had any real social interaction.

    On the slightly brighter side, I got back the first English essay we did this year and the teacher approached me to say I was working at a level far ahead of the rest of the class, and I should probably be doing Higher English instead of Intermediate 2. I told her that I probably wouldn't be able to handle the anxiety of that this year though, and she understood and said if the class is ever moving too slow I'm allowed to just bring out a book and do some personal reading. Felt pretty cool, and I shall abuse the **** out of this privilege.
    Go back to your doctor and say if you feel the medication is being less effective. Have you tried just any small talk to try talk to someone? Think of some things which you could say beforehand so your not having to think of it at the time? Have some :hugs:
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    I just feel like eating till I can feel nothing. I'm so **** at studying.
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    (Original post by Bookface)
    I sort of feel like I'm going down hill again. I haven't eaten in about a week, I just ordered a pack of razor blades so I can start properly cutting after about a three or so weeks of not doing so at all, and the anti-anxiety medication I was taking for college seems to not be as helpful lately because I'm almost as nervous and scared going now as I was before I got put on. Still haven't talked to a single student, or had any real social interaction.

    On the slightly brighter side, I got back the first English essay we did this year and the teacher approached me to say I was working at a level far ahead of the rest of the class, and I should probably be doing Higher English instead of Intermediate 2. I told her that I probably wouldn't be able to handle the anxiety of that this year though, and she understood and said if the class is ever moving too slow I'm allowed to just bring out a book and do some personal reading. Felt pretty cool, and I shall abuse the **** out of this privilege.
    Please throw them away when they come, you don't need them. 3 weeks is a great achievement, but you can make it 4. :hugs:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Saber, I'm ground floor too which I was totally dreading BUT I would totally opt for it now. The walk home is quicker (especially when drunk :p:), when it's raining you can run back into your room and it's much more homely, I think. Yes, hearing everyone upstairs is a pain and you can't leave your window open but generally; it has more pros than cons.

    ******* low tonight. Sigh. I really don't want to go to the doctor tomorrow :cry: I had a small lunch about middayish and all through cheerleading I could feel that biting hunger again, and I was really enjoying that. Came home and forced a pasta thing that was going out of date down my throat, otherwise I wouldn't have eaten anything.
    I feel bad knocking down all your points but....I don't care about the rain :p: And if I do get drunk over the course of the next year it is 99.9999999% likely that I will do so on my own in my room, so coming home drunk would never be a problem. I spent the last 2 years on the ground floor, hate it, even put in a request in person (!!!!! I SPOKE to someone) to be on the higher floors, tbh I think the only reason I'm there is because it's next to the hall monitor person. Pretty sad.

    :console: doctors are never fun but they might be able to do something to help so it's probably worth a go. Just don't have a shot or two of vodka beforehand for confidence...they can smell it. :no:


    (Original post by superwolf)
    You're not a loser or a freak or pathetic. You're a human being going through a tough time.

    You were unlucky with getting a ground floor room, but you haven't even arrived yet - it might turn out you have really nice flatmates, or something else good.

    You need to stop stressing about every little thing that goes wrong, that can't be helping with how you're feeling.

    Hope things get better. :hugs:
    Tough time implies that there is either a beginning or an end to the toughness. I know I need to stop stressing over tiny things but it always seems to be so many tiny things all at the same time and all when I'm already feeling like ****. The form isn't a tiny thing either, it just confirms very much what a loser I am, and having not done it is going to make things many many times harder in the next few weeks and is going to mean a lot of explaining and hence talking to people, possibly even in front of a lot of other people, which could have been avoided. That's why I'm ticked off.

    Spent the day thinking...probably wasn't a very good idea.


    How'd your class go?
 
 
 
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