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    (Original post by Honeyx)
    tomorrow is the day that I should have been going back to uni...fml I am actually just a useless failure and dont know why I bother typing on here, when everyone has their own problems to deal with and don't need me going on about mine...I could just stop but then I'd have nowhere else to vent. They'll all have a right laugh tomorrow when they realise Im not there...I don't even want to leave my room
    Dont worry about posting, this is what this place is for :hugs:

    What are you doing about uni (sorry I get everyone mixed up) are you having a year out or what exactly?

    Your not a faliure, why do you think they will be laughing?
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    (Original post by Fail Whale)
    I don't know whether to call somebody or not. I am having thoughts of ODing and even though I am strong enough to resist them I am still finding it pretty distressing.
    That is what they are there for :yep: :hugs:
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Dont worry about posting, this is what this place is for :hugs:

    What are you doing about uni (sorry I get everyone mixed up) are you having a year out or what exactly?

    Your not a faliure, why do you think they will be laughing?
    Thank you,Well Im still waiting to hear back about a appeal date to find out whether im being chucked out of uni or not! Apparently it will be November before I hear back and term starts tomo so how that works if they were to let me retake the yr I don't know! I have the uni counsellor and support team who are trying to get a meeting sooner but I feel so hopeless and the uncertainty is killing me and then the guy who sexually assaulted me is happily walking around passing exams and it just seems so unfair! and my headaches are killing me more and everyone keeps texting and fbking to find out whats happening and i dont know what to say to them...so they'll have a right laugh tomo when im not there...
    and Im starting to get a bit obsessive about my weight and im only a size 8 but I just want to shrink away...

    sorry I went on a bit! you don't have to read all that!
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    (Original post by Honeyx)
    Thank you,Well Im still waiting to hear back about a appeal date to find out whether im being chucked out of uni or not! Apparently it will be November before I hear back and term starts tomo so how that works if they were to let me retake the yr I don't know! I have the uni counsellor and support team who are trying to get a meeting sooner but I feel so hopeless and the uncertainty is killing me and then the guy who sexually assaulted me is happily walking around passing exams and it just seems so unfair! and my headaches are killing me more and everyone keeps texting and fbking to find out whats happening and i dont know what to say to them...so they'll have a right laugh tomo when im not there...
    and Im starting to get a bit obsessive about my weight and im only a size 8 but I just want to shrink away...

    sorry I went on a bit! you don't have to read all that!
    What year was it?

    Is there no way you can pester people and try and get a date for it sorted quicker? Dont worry about other people.. Im sure they wont be laughing.. focus on yourself.

    Does your doctor know about the weight issues?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    What year was it?

    Is there no way you can pester people and try and get a date for it sorted quicker? Dont worry about other people.. Im sure they wont be laughing.. focus on yourself.

    Does your doctor know about the weight issues?
    the counsellor and the support people are trying to for me
    no I havent told him cos i dont want him to think im attention seeking. The headaches and the bump on the back of my head (which i didnt tell him about incase he thinks im stupid!) are my main concern i suppose...i dont know what to do 2bh
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    (Original post by Honeyx)
    the counsellor and the support people are trying to for me
    no I havent told him cos i dont want him to think im attention seeking. The headaches and the bump on the back of my head (which i didnt tell him about incase he thinks im stupid!) are my main concern i suppose...i dont know what to do 2bh
    You need to tell your doctor about all those things. Trust me it wont sound stupid.
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    Today I've done literally nothing but watch tv. I am wasting my life.
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    hi, new to this thread.

    i finally saw a doctor earlier in the week (and i have to go back on wednesday), and i thought just getting it off my chest would help a little bit, but it really hasn't and if anything i feel worse about it. i feel like a massive burden on my family, and now people are worried because of me and i wonder if it was better to just not say anything. i dunno, i'm not even sure why i'm posting this. i just want to feel okay.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Today I've done literally nothing but watch tv. I am wasting my life.
    You will get the motivation.. maybe just try and do a little bit each day and try build i up?
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    (Original post by newschooldevil)
    hi, new to this thread.

    i finally saw a doctor earlier in the week (and i have to go back on wednesday), and i thought just getting it off my chest would help a little bit, but it really hasn't and if anything i feel worse about it. i feel like a massive burden on my family, and now people are worried because of me and i wonder if it was better to just not say anything. i dunno, i'm not even sure why i'm posting this. i just want to feel okay.
    Hey Did your doctor say anything about what they were planning to do?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    You will get the motivation.. maybe just try and do a little bit each day and try build i up?
    Yeah, I usually try and do at least something, today's just been particularly meh.

    How're you?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Hey Did your doctor say anything about what they were planning to do?
    well he gave me some websites and told me to read up on depression before deciding on what i want to do, but he said that it's basically medication or counselling (which i knew), then i had to fill in this PHQ-9 questionnaire and that's pretty much it really; so i have to go back on wednesday and make a decision. thing is, i'm not so good with the whole talking about my problems thing (it took me the best part of four years to actually ask for some help), so i'm not really sure about counselling. so i suppose it's medication :dontknow:
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Yeah, I usually try and do at least something, today's just been particularly meh.

    How're you?
    Ah ok, I hope tomorrow is better

    Pretty ****.. Im not sleeping and it seems when im not sleeping I become weakened to the suicidal thoughts. Talked to the guy today and there going to "upgrade" me to Lorazepam, which is what they use to sedate people who would otherwise attack the staff etc.. And if that wont work then its hospital.
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    (Original post by newschooldevil)
    well he gave me some websites and told me to read up on depression before deciding on what i want to do, but he said that it's basically medication or counselling (which i knew), then i had to fill in this PHQ-9 questionnaire and that's pretty much it really; so i have to go back on wednesday and make a decision. thing is, i'm not so good with the whole talking about my problems thing (it took me the best part of four years to actually ask for some help), so i'm not really sure about counselling. so i suppose it's medication :dontknow:
    Can you not do both? Maybe just try the counselling and if its not for you say and stop it?
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Ah ok, I hope tomorrow is better

    Pretty ****.. Im not sleeping and it seems when im not sleeping I become weakened to the suicidal thoughts. Talked to the guy today and there going to "upgrade" me to Lorazepam, which is what they use to sedate people who would otherwise attack the staff etc.. And if that wont work then its hospital.
    :console: Insomnia is terrible, I sympathise. Good luck with the lorazepam, but if that doesn't work, there are worse things than hospitalisation.
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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    x
    You ok? :hugs:

    Can't sleep. Again. Considering just skipping lectures tomorrow - but I have a few other things on and off campus I need to do. :cry:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    You ok? :hugs:

    Can't sleep. Again. Considering just skipping lectures tomorrow - but I have a few other things on and off campus I need to do. :cry:
    :console: Coffee? once you skip a couple of lectures it can be a bit of a slippery slope to do more.




    Can't sleep either, 3 or 4 hours max every night. Ergh. Feel sick, can't eat, in pain, freaked out about flatmates, ah this is going to be fun.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Ah ok, I hope tomorrow is better

    Pretty ****.. Im not sleeping and it seems when im not sleeping I become weakened to the suicidal thoughts. Talked to the guy today and there going to "upgrade" me to Lorazepam, which is what they use to sedate people who would otherwise attack the staff etc.. And if that wont work then its hospital.
    Good luck with that, I hope it works out for you.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    :console: Coffee? once you skip a couple of lectures it can be a bit of a slippery slope to do more.

    Can't sleep either, 3 or 4 hours max every night. Ergh. Feel sick, can't eat, in pain, freaked out about flatmates, ah this is going to be fun.
    :sigh: Had two lectures today... 10am and 12pm. Told my flatmate I'd see him in the 12pm as I wasn't feeling up to the 10am. Obviously, I am not there. :sigh: Can't even go two weeks without slipping into the old habits of bunking off. What am I even doing here?

    :hugs: Have you tried relaxation to calm yourself down? Or going for a run or something? Something to get rid of the tension and take your mind off of things.
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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    My best friend is unbelievably pissed at me for the OD incident. I've never "seen" [if you count yelling down the phone/messaging me] her this upset and angry. :sigh:

    What did you do as a subject? Is the bunking off just lack of willpower? I guess 'lack of any willpower' is a very core habit in depression.
    I can imagine she is. I think that's just how some people react. She'll calm down. :hugs:

    Loss of motivation really. I've been awake since half 10 and all I've done is shower and sit here. My room is an absolute state; I have a mountain of washing to do. At AS/A2 I would just refuse to go into school and stay in bed all day - no idea why. Just hated the idea of going. The effort of getting there was far too great; I hate that that's coming back now. When I was at college I was slowly getting better and I thought I'd got over the whole building up the distance and time in my mind thing but obviously not. I feel totally useless now.

    Turns out my second lecture was cancelled anyway so not going in was not a massive loss, but still, it's setting a precedent that I didn't want to set :cry:
 
 
 
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