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    (Original post by D-Day)
    Believe it or not, academia is one of the few things in my life that keeps me sane. Being able to focus on one very specific problem at a time and being able to justify ignoring everything else helps me a lot. Normally I have a thousand thoughts flying through my head (some bad) and to be able to banish that flurry of mental action and think about one thing only, it's very calming. Maybe I'm weird though.
    Are you a science student? You sound like a scientist! :p:

    I have so much work to do and I want to do it, so so badly but my mind won't let me focus. It's sort of the opposite to your thing.
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    I don't want to go to work tonight. I'm only working 4 hours (well 5 and a half with clean up) but omg. There's only so many fake smiles I can manage on a good day and tonight I just feel like bursting into tears all the time. My parents are being horrible to me, my friends have ****** off to visit my best mate at uni and I feel like ****.

    The only thing stopping me from killing myself right now is that it'd be horribly embarassing to explain to work/friends/college if I got it wrong.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I don't want to go to work tonight. I'm only working 4 hours (well 5 and a half with clean up) but omg. There's only so many fake smiles I can manage on a good day and tonight I just feel like bursting into tears all the time. My parents are being horrible to me, my friends have ****** off to visit my best mate at uni and I feel like ****.

    The only thing stopping me from killing myself right now is that it'd be horribly embarassing to explain to work/friends/college if I got it wrong.
    Could you call in sick to work? Maybe if you explain how you're feeling (vaguely) they'll understand and give you the shift off? It might help if you just take some time out for yourself and get yourself away from the situation you're in, like maybe go for a walk or go to the cinema. Just for a bit of ecapism. Or it might help if you go to work just so you aren't at home thinking.

    Please don't kill yourself. Everyone here cares about you and doesn't want you to die. Do your parents know how you feel?
    Keep talking to us here, it might help and stop you from doing anything rash. :hugs: I wish someone was with you to give you a real one. Are you home alone?
    xx
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Could you call in sick to work? Maybe if you explain how you're feeling (vaguely) they'll understand and give you the shift off? It might help if you just take some time out for yourself and get yourself away from the situation you're in, like maybe go for a walk or go to the cinema. Just for a bit of ecapism. Or it might help if you go to work just so you aren't at home thinking.

    Please don't kill yourself. Everyone here cares about you and doesn't want you to die. Do your parents know how you feel?
    Keep talking to us here, it might help and stop you from doing anything rash. :hugs: I wish someone was with you to give you a real one. Are you home alone?
    xx
    Can't really call in sick for work because a) I've spoken to one of my colleagues on facebook about what to wear tonight (theme night) and b) my parents are angry enough at me missing college today they'd be livid if I missed work too. I'm only in 10 til half 3/4 but still.

    My parents don't know anything about my life 'on here' if you get me, they don't know about the self harm and they don't know about me going to the GP to get it sorted, being referred for councelling, anything. I don't want them to know either. They think I'm a waste of space as it is, I don't need to confirm that to them. Not home alone, my parents are here but I might as well be, they're not talking to me.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Can't really call in sick for work because a) I've spoken to one of my colleagues on facebook about what to wear tonight (theme night) and b) my parents are angry enough at me missing college today they'd be livid if I missed work too. I'm only in 10 til half 3/4 but still.

    My parents don't know anything about my life 'on here' if you get me, they don't know about the self harm and they don't know about me going to the GP to get it sorted, being referred for councelling, anything. I don't want them to know either. They think I'm a waste of space as it is, I don't need to confirm that to them. Not home alone, my parents are here but I might as well be, they're not talking to me.

    Yeah I understand what you mean about your parents. It's awful that they treat you as they do. Emotional abuse sucks. At least you are/should be getting help soon. I hope things get better for you. And you never know, the themed event might be fun!
    Hope things go ok at work, just know you can always talk to us here if you're feeling low or just want to talk.
    :hugs:
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    I don't want to go to work at all, I just want to sit in a duvet and cry
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I don't want to go to work at all, I just want to sit in a duvet and cry
    That's what I'm doing now... it isn't helping if I'm honest :cry:
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    (Original post by Immunity)
    That's what I'm doing now... it isn't helping if I'm honest :cry:
    :hugs:

    I wish my parents would stop shouting at me. My mum just came in and shouted at me for saying that I didn't really want to go to work but I will anyway. If I 'do as I ******* want' like she's told me to then I might as well ring ahead for a ******* ambulance :rolleyes: :cry:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    :hugs:

    I wish my parents would stop shouting at me. My mum just came in and shouted at me for saying that I didn't really want to go to work but I will anyway. If I 'do as I ******* want' like she's told me to then I might as well ring ahead for a ******* ambulance :rolleyes: :cry:
    :hugs: sometimes parents just don't understand...
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    (Original post by Immunity)
    :hugs: sometimes parents just don't understand...
    Or they don't want to understand.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Or they don't want to understand.
    If she is shouting at you then she is frustrated, and cares about you. If they didn't want to understand then they'd leave you alone. It must be difficult for anyone to watch someone be in pain.
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    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)
    University looms :cry:
    :console:

    I'm not that bad :rolleyes:
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    :..
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    (Original post by Immunity)
    If she is shouting at you then she is frustrated, and cares about you. If they didn't want to understand then they'd leave you alone. It must be difficult for anyone to watch someone be in pain.
    She could try not swear at me and calling me a **** up...

    Now I need to redo my make up
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    :hugs: kmn. :console:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    She could try not swear at me and calling me a **** up...

    Now I need to redo my make up
    She could be a little more tactful.

    :hugs:

    Hope work goes as well as it can do.
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    I haven't met you :dontknow: but i'm sure you're a nice person :yep:
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    (Original post by sil3nt_cha0s)
    I haven't met you :dontknow: but i'm sure you're a nice person :yep:
    If only I could convince myself I am.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    She could try not swear at me and calling me a **** up...

    Now I need to redo my make up
    I'm sorry today has been so awful for you, Nat.

    Please do post tomorrow to let us know how you are - we'll all be thinking of you. :console:
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    :cry: I feel so sad. I wish I was stronger. I can't seem to be good enough at anything. I keep forgetting the simplest of things, I feel horrible because I've eaten so much today and I want to be sick because I feel sick at the idea of food being inside me, I feel like a baby. I just want someone to hug me and tell me everything will be ok. I don't feel like things will ever be better. I feel like things are getting worse. I feel so fragile and so empty and sick. I miss my friends but I don't want to go to the party that's happening tomorrow.

    I hope you are all ok. Sorry for the self absorbed moan.
 
 
 
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