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    :cry:
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    (Original post by BruceTaylor)
    :cry:
    :hugs: What's up?
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    (Original post by jonathan122)
    :hugs: What's up?
    I've felt fine most of today, but I feel like I've hit a wall, emotionally.
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    (Original post by D-Day)
    Pretty ******. I am still feeling the residual effects of seasonal allergies and am just feeling generally not happy with my life.
    I'm sorry. :hugs:
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    (Original post by BruceTaylor)
    I've felt fine most of today, but I feel like I've hit a wall, emotionally.
    How was Friday?
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    (Original post by Laus)
    I'm sorry. :hugs:
    Hello Laus
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    (Original post by Lord Hysteria)
    Hello Laus
    Hey Liam, how are you? :hugs:
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    (Original post by Laus)
    Hey Liam, how are you? :hugs:
    I am developing a pretty bad insomnia!
    I am also hungry ... might nip out for a few cookies, but my local 24/7 shop s ridiculously expensive!
    How are you though? Haven't spoken to you in eons!! :eek: :hugs:
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    Sighs and cries and confused ways
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    (Original post by starchild)
    Sighs and cries and confused ways
    :hugs: What's up?
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    (Original post by starchild)
    Sighs and cries and confused ways
    Siti!:hugs: I was just about to text or email you! Have been thinking about you recently.
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    You sound like me with the food thing.
    Except I can't really make myself eat anymore. The pain afterwards and the way I berate myself just isn't worth it. It's weird, the time I used to semi *enjoy* food was only a few weeks ago. I don't understand it. I'm trying to force myself to eat like really trying but it's it's just disgusting and I'm not even hungry and I refuse to eat if I'm not hungry. I went food shopping yesterday, put a few things in my basket then convinced myself I didn't want to eat any of them and put them all back. I know I have to eat but I just can't. It makes me feel sick and scares me and it's so much effort and I don't want to. Even though I know I need to. So annoying. I'm taking supplements so at least I'm getting vitamins. And I think I'm starting to like not eating a bit too much and that's bad. I have to stop it before it gets worse but I really don't know how.

    I just associate food with being sick and I feel better when I don't eat. Right now I feel lightheaded but in a good way. If I ate now, I'd have horrible stomach cramps and end up being sick and have a headache so I don't want to.
    But my mum's making dinner so she'll probably make me sit at the table until I do eat. I don't want to worry her but I just don't want anything. I'm not even hungry even though I've only had a rasin (which made me feel sick ) and a piece of chewing gum and a chocolate bar (which I really needed.)
    But I really really have to eat. I can feel myself shaking and I'm sitting by the radiator. But I don't want to. Everyone keeps telling me to eat but I can't. Just the thought of an actual meal sounds repulsive.
    What the hell is this? I keep screaming at myself to eat in my head but it doesn't work. I don't want this to get worse so I have to eat but... I'm scared.

    Is your food thing like this or different? Am I just weird? I don't understand what this is. It's not like a proper eating disorder because I don't think I'm fat. I just don't want/need/like food.
    I hope you're ok and sorry for the rant. Glad counselling went well. And well done for making yourself eat! I suppose that's the hardest step. :hugs:
    Hey my problem is pretty similar to yours. I have had a problem with eating in the past, though never been diagnosed with an eating disorder ( think I was on the verge...). There have been times where I have enjoyed food but since coming to Uni I've just lost my appetite.
    It was mainly to do with the anxiety, once I settled I began to eat again but then as soon as I went back home ( big mistake) my parents said I had lost weight and made me feel that I wasn't looking after my self properly. It took me back to the time where I hadn't been eating and I think the fear of being like that again was what made me scared of food. The fact that DON'T want to end up how I was makes me anxious, the anxiety makes me loose my appetite and then the fact that I don't have an appetite makes me anxious that I will end up how I was before. Horrible vicious circle. Like you often the thought of a meal, smelling food or talking about it makes me feel sick and very dizzy and start shaking. Even when I force my self to eat I feel very dizzy and ill but its getting better. Since Firday I've managed to eat three set meals ( well small lunch so that I'm hungry by dinner time). I'm not eating the portions I used to but I'm making sure that what I do eat has enough calories to keep me going, if it's small it must be high calories.
    I often start shaking at night asw well if I haven't had enough to eat, feel very cold and can't sleep or have panic attacks which aren't nice but they have subsided in the last couple of days. *touches wood*
    Also my counsellor told me that some times you just wont feel hungry so don't force your self as it makes it worse. I used to snack a lot but now I hardly snack at all which I should be happy about because I'm saving a lot of money . As long as you managed to get three balanced square meals into your day then it should be fine. Because I do A LOT of walking too I need my energy, so that is my motivation. Try eating in a relaxed environment with music/people around you to distract you from your thoughts. It's helped me, it may take me almost an hour sometimes to finish a meal but at least I finish it.
    How long have you been feeling like this? Do you know why? I suppose if you can find the reason behind it, then it will help you to find the solution, that's how I'm trying to get over it. :hugs:
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    (Original post by starchild)
    Sighs and cries and confused ways
    :hugs: stay strong! I listen to Take That which sometimes helps. How are you doing?
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    ,,,
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    I feel so fat, I just stuffed my face with a roast dinner

    I'm so lonely, I've been in my bed all day, I might have a shower later but that's all I'll do today. My room is a pig sty. No-one wants to talk to me apart from two of my mates. Work was horrible last night, there is nothing right in my life :cry:
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    I just felt some rejection from a peer group. Now I'm just sitting in my room considering revenge.
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    I think I may have to get my pets rehomed. my brother keeps threatening to kill my mice and getting my rabbits stoned. yesterday I came home and he was smoking a joint in my room. he was holding a gerbil in his mouth and exhaling.

    he's such a horrible person. he's 18 and he acts like a sick child.

    I'm feeling so lonely lately. I'm not friends with any of the people I first told about my abuse, none of the people who were there through it and know what it was like, know the things that happened and the whole timeline of big events. I feel less and less like anyone understands me. There are so many tiny parts of this one huge **** up in my life that I have no idea where to start.
    I don't know what I'm doing in this relationship. it's not fair to him. I want so badly to be happy with him and my life is good now, I don't understand why I can't just put it all behind me. instead I'm in this pathetic situation that I have to bury my face in my duvet and cry as quietly as I can so that nobody hears, so that I don't wake him and have to explain. And then I take a few deep breaths and go to sleep. Then I wake up in the morning and it's all back.

    I write these things over and over in different ways with different words in the hopes that i'll feel a little less alone, that things will feel a little less bottled up and it doesn't work.

    I'm getting so ******* tired of it.
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    (Original post by death.drop)
    I think I may have to get my pets rehomed. my brother keeps threatening to kill my mice and getting my rabbits stoned. yesterday I came home and he was smoking a joint in my room. he was holding a gerbil in his mouth and exhaling.

    he's such a horrible person. he's 18 and he acts like a sick child.

    I'm feeling so lonely lately. I'm not friends with any of the people I first told about my abuse, none of the people who were there through it and know what it was like, know the things that happened and the whole timeline of big events. I feel less and less like anyone understands me. There are so many tiny parts of this one huge **** up in my life that I have no idea where to start.
    I don't know what I'm doing in this relationship. it's not fair to him. I want so badly to be happy with him and my life is good now, I don't understand why I can't just put it all behind me. instead I'm in this pathetic situation that I have to bury my face in my duvet and cry as quietly as I can so that nobody hears, so that I don't wake him and have to explain. And then I take a few deep breaths and go to sleep. Then I wake up in the morning and it's all back.

    I write these things over and over in different ways with different words in the hopes that i'll feel a little less alone, that things will feel a little less bottled up and it doesn't work.

    I'm getting so ******* tired of it.
    thats animal cruelty I'd say report him and/or get a lock for you bedroom door so that he cant get in... Is the dog his? if it is just say you kill my mice i will slaughter your dog and paint you bedroom walls in its blood.
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    (Original post by Vienna Cannon)
    thats animal cruelty I'd say report him and/or get a lock for you bedroom door so that he cant get in... Is the dog his? if it is just say you kill my mice i will slaughter your dog and paint you bedroom walls in its blood.
    If I reported it I don't think much would happen. they can't remove him from the house so they'd just take my animals away.

    the dog's officially his, but I walk it, usually end up feeding and watering it, buy it's toys, clip it's nails, I took it to the vet last week when it was chewing bald patches in itself. I love it and he knows it. (even though I'd rather not have it)

    there's two entrances to my room, one of which doesn't have a door (just a freezer in the way) so putting a lock on would be pointless

    Thanks for the reply, means a lot.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    urgh i feel like **** absolute ****. cant help but hate my disgusting self
    you know, I don't know about you, but I can often feel a cloud of deep depression loom over me. It happens and I find it healthy to do something you enjoy in life to distract your mind. I used to read a book on biological anthropology when I was a bit younger, because for a brief moment in time I would actually be happy and not have to slip into the dark mindset ... I don't think I can say anything to help you pre se, but just that there are ways of coping. I wish someone told me that sooner ... :hugs:
 
 
 
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