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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Hey guys.

    Had an ok weekend visiting friends at uni, came home and have had two massive barneys with my mum since I got back yesterday. She's now pushing for me to go and see a doctor :cry:
    :hugs: thats not good
    do you want to see a doctor?
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    (Original post by Vienna Cannon)
    :hugs: thats not good
    do you want to see a doctor?
    No, not at all.
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    my girlfriend told me i was a "textbook example" of a depressive today
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    No, not at all.
    then tell her its not your best innterest at the moment and for her to give you time. just say *lil white lie* that you intend to see how your mood levels out through until next week and then are going to go
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    (Original post by Pocket Calculator)
    my girlfriend told me i was a "textbook example" of a depressive today
    that's not very nice or supportive of it.
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    Okay I think I have broken down. I don't feel anything. Am completely dead.

    Hope you feel better than I do :hugs:
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    (Original post by Immunity)
    Okay I think I have broken down. I don't feel anything. Am completely dead.

    Hope you feel better than I do :hugs:
    :hugs: Do you want to talk about it?
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    (Original post by Vienna Cannon)
    then tell her its not your best innterest at the moment and for her to give you time. just say *lil white lie* that you intend to see how your mood levels out through until next week and then are going to go
    I can't talk to her about anything though, it's awful. I want to tell her all my problems and how I feel but when I get to it or there's a right time my mouth shuts and won't open again. And then she gets angry and hurt because I won't tell her anything.
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    (Original post by jonathan122)
    :hugs: Do you want to talk about it?
    I don't know. I just don't want to be here any more. I can't fight anymore. I want to give in so badly.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I can't talk to her about anything though, it's awful. I want to tell her all my problems and how I feel but when I get to it or there's a right time my mouth shuts and won't open again. And then she gets angry and hurt because I won't tell her anything.
    I know exactly how you feel. I was the same with my mum. There is so much that I know I needed to tell her but I always felt rejected by here and it made it difficult. She should understaand what sort of problems i'm in because she's on anti depressants.
    Maybe just write down the things you want to say to her, and instead of giving it to her send it through the post so there is a delay but ten she can read what you have to say and hopefully will understand.
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    (Original post by Immunity)
    I don't know. I just don't want to be here any more. I can't fight anymore. I want to give in so badly.
    :hugs: keep fighting immunity. It'll be worth it in the end.
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    I sometimes wonder what makes a person suicidal? Forget level of trauma for a minute, I guess it comes down to the individual's character or what? Like personally I'm not suicidal in any way shape or form but I have been through a hell of a alot of trauma in the last 2/3 years. Just curious as to what people think, not meaning to touch any nerves or out.
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    (Original post by Vienna Cannon)
    I know exactly how you feel. I was the same with my mum. There is so much that I know I needed to tell her but I always felt rejected by here and it made it difficult. She should understaand what sort of problems i'm in because she's on anti depressants.
    Maybe just write down the things you want to say to her, and instead of giving it to her send it through the post so there is a delay but ten she can read what you have to say and hopefully will understand.
    I don't want to upset her though, and I know she'll blame herself
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    (Original post by FM08)
    I sometimes wonder what makes a person suicidal? Forget level of trauma for a minute, I guess it comes down to the individual's character or what? Like personally I'm not suicidal in any way shape or form but I have been through a hell of a alot of trauma in the last 2/3 years. Just curious as to what people think, not meaning to touch any nerves or out.
    its not just traumatic experiences, but the fact that a lot of people cannot pull back from them. its more the feel of hopelessness and worthlessness that a lot of people feel that causes that feelings. I know when I attempted the main occuring thought going through my mind was how me dying would be a benefit to everyone i knew, how i would end their pain and misery, not just my own.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I don't want to upset her though, and I know she'll blame herself
    well she can't have it both ways. she either knows and lives with knowing or doesn't know and doesn't push you to tell etc
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    (Original post by FM08)
    I sometimes wonder what makes a person suicidal? Forget level of trauma for a minute, I guess it comes down to the individual's character or what? Like personally I'm not suicidal in any way shape or form but I have been through a hell of a alot of trauma in the last 2/3 years. Just curious as to what people think, not meaning to touch any nerves or out.
    For me it often feels like my not being here would greatly benefit the people I know. My friend wouldn't have to worry about me, spend money seeing me, would be able to concentrate at uni better, would be able to find someone better, and my family wouldn't have the shame of someone like me connected with them, they wouldn't have to worry about me either and it would rid them of a huge burden of looking after me a lot.

    Another reason is I don't see it getting better. Life should be enjoyable and I'm firmly of the belief, I guess part of my character like you suggested, that if you don't enjoy life what's the point in living it. I'm pro-euthanasia, and see getting rid of me as a form of euthanasia (if only it would be painless).

    I don't know if it's part of a person's character, maybe you're right maybe some people handle **** better than others, actually you probably are right there, but people can't switch places so I guess we'll never know how other people would deal with what one person does.
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    (Original post by Vienna Cannon)
    Sometimes writing things down is the easiest way to go. something I used to do was write things down that really bothered me during the day and then just burn them, and as i watch the flames it somewhat makes me feel a whole lot better.
    I like to do that too, and I bought one of those huge paper lantern things, to write down things I needed to say and let go of.

    (Original post by FM08)
    I sometimes wonder what makes a person suicidal? Forget level of trauma for a minute, I guess it comes down to the individual's character or what? Like personally I'm not suicidal in any way shape or form but I have been through a hell of a alot of trauma in the last 2/3 years. Just curious as to what people think, not meaning to touch any nerves or out.
    The particularly low moments I've had have always been when I thought things were about to change and then something happened that let me know they never were, or when someone in my life seemed to be suffering because of me. I suppose it does just boil down to character but it's not a choice to feel suicidal, it's a result of how your brain processes what's going on.


    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I can't talk to her about anything though, it's awful. I want to tell her all my problems and how I feel but when I get to it or there's a right time my mouth shuts and won't open again. And then she gets angry and hurt because I won't tell her anything.
    like vie said, writing things down can really help. If it's that you want to tell her but can't then that's a perfect way to get around it. will still take some guts, I'm sure, but it will be easier than getting the words out - especially if you post it instead of handing it to her.
    If you're not sure you're ready for her to know then tell her that, explain that rushing yourself could cause more problems and her getting angry with you isn't going to make you tell her. Maybe say something like you need to feel safe and secure when you tell her and every time she gets angry with you about it it pushes you further from that point.
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    hope everyone's ok. touch wood it's only been a night but the pains slowly easing. that said it took many drugs + a waterbottle to my face(!). meh
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    hope everyone's ok. touch wood it's only been a night but the pains slowly easing. that said it took many drugs + a waterbottle to my face(!). meh
    I'm glad you're feeling better :hugs: Aside from that how are you?
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    (Original post by BruceTaylor)
    I'm glad you're feeling better :hugs: Aside from that how are you?
    thank you

    im ok. havent had much time to cry of my 'mental problems' due to this pain but its always at the back of my mind and im always thinking about it even in physical pain !

    i just want to recover fast and get back to normal even though my normal is not normal:p:

    i did say to my mum ive been thinking about all the foods i want when i recover and she did say to me ''think of all the poor out there and the way they think about food'' so that made me :mute:

    how're you?
 
 
 
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