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    Feel ******* **** tonight :cry: I don't want to eat anything anymore, I'm fed up of being fat and ugly, I'm always overlooked when it comes to relationships, I'm ****** in the head. My wrist hurts from where I cut last night even though I've spent the last week crying when I look at my wrist because the cuts won't fade, I don't want to speak to anyone let alone see anyone. I don't want to live like this anymore :cry:
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    Why is it that even if I feel like I understand the material on an exam at the time I'm taking it, afterwards I still feel like I'm going to fail?
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Feel ******* **** tonight :cry: I don't want to eat anything anymore, I'm fed up of being fat and ugly, I'm always overlooked when it comes to relationships, I'm ****** in the head. My wrist hurts from where I cut last night even though I've spent the last week crying when I look at my wrist because the cuts won't fade, I don't want to speak to anyone let alone see anyone. I don't want to live like this anymore :cry:
    Ever thought life is what you make it? Everything you've stated is something you can change about yourself... What are you waiting for? Time waits for no-one (:
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    (Original post by x.Crystal.x)
    I feel so much better now, I have bad patches here and there, but I just read that letter and i feel better


    Someone linked him to it on twitter and the only thing he seems surprised about is that it was 3 years ago. And he tweeted me to say how happy he was that im more cheerful and hoped for me not to go back


    I love that man
    oh that is good! I'd hate to think he was annoyed or sad
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    (Original post by becki08)
    Saber, I can really relate to the reading. Try to take it in small chunks and just do a little bit at a time. Try photocopying the page and highlighting as you go along or write out bits of text to try and process them more. You're not a failure, you're depressed which ruins your concentration but that's not your fault. :hugs:
    THanks for the tips becki, I'll give it a go see if they help, I'm just getting myself so wound up it's ridiculous. How are you?

    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Feel ******* **** tonight :cry: I don't want to eat anything anymore, I'm fed up of being fat and ugly, I'm always overlooked when it comes to relationships, I'm ****** in the head. My wrist hurts from where I cut last night even though I've spent the last week crying when I look at my wrist because the cuts won't fade, I don't want to speak to anyone let alone see anyone. I don't want to live like this anymore :cry:
    Dunno if this will help but my psychiatrist prescribed me dermatix to get rid of scars and it's really helping, it stops me wanting to make more sometimes because i see the progress the ones i have made have made and it puts me off. But I guess you'd need to show your gp to do that and not sure if you'd be comfortable with that. Just an idea anyhow.



    I'm actually feeling pretty good right now, I got myself to mix with my flatmates, had a drink and don't give a **** about all the work I haven't done. It's all good, just wish I could feel like this all the time.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Feel ******* **** tonight :cry: I don't want to eat anything anymore, I'm fed up of being fat and ugly, I'm always overlooked when it comes to relationships, I'm ****** in the head. My wrist hurts from where I cut last night even though I've spent the last week crying when I look at my wrist because the cuts won't fade, I don't want to speak to anyone let alone see anyone. I don't want to live like this anymore :cry:
    :hugs: Have you looked after your cuts? I can kind of relate to cutting even though you hate what it does - I'm terrified of losing the use of my left hand as I'm very close to it yet still ended up in A&E last week. Have you tried bio-oil to fade the scarring? You can also get scar make-up like dermablend from your GP or the british red cross skin camouflage clinic. Maybe you could look into getting some counselling to help stop self-harming if that's not something you're getting already.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    THanks for the tips becki, I'll give it a go see if they help, I'm just getting myself so wound up it's ridiculous. How are you?

    I'm actually feeling pretty good right now, I got myself to mix with my flatmates, had a drink and don't give a **** about all the work I haven't done. It's all good, just wish I could feel like this all the time.

    Hope they helped! Do you get any support like a mentor from your uni who could help you organise your time and reassure you when you get stressed out over your work? Glad to hear you're feeling good at the moment!

    I'm...not sure. Not been doing too good recently. Saw my GP today and she's increased my anti-depressant. She also seems to think I have an eating disorder which I don't. Stressing out a lot over my assignments and suicidal thoughts have come back again. I was hiding it all from my doctor and mental health advisor but I broke down and admitted everything to the crisis team person in A&E last week so now they know.
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    (Original post by Lavace)
    I really don't know anymore, I spend all day with problems on my mind that really have no solution, or problems which I think I've solved and yet they keep coming back up in my mind... I broke up with the ex, had a big confidence hit over summer cause of some silly things that happened, and I find I'm constantly feeling down.
    I don't really tell anyone about how I feel in person or around my friends, I just try to be the same person all the time. But it's really starting to effect my life I think =/
    Sounds like you're having quite a few problems with anxiety which is making you feel down. This is an online thing with some CBT stuff I've used before which can help change you're thinking about your problems which might help to lift your mood and help your anxiety: http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome
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    (Original post by becki08)
    Hope they helped! Do you get any support like a mentor from your uni who could help you organise your time and reassure you when you get stressed out over your work? Glad to hear you're feeling good at the moment!

    I'm...not sure. Not been doing too good recently. Saw my GP today and she's increased my anti-depressant. She also seems to think I have an eating disorder which I don't. Stressing out a lot over my assignments and suicidal thoughts have come back again. I was hiding it all from my doctor and mental health advisor but I broke down and admitted everything to the crisis team person in A&E last week so now they know.
    I do technically but it's not been arranged totally yet so not seeing anyone yet although hopefully in the near future I should see someone *fingers crosssed*

    Well, although it's not the best way of telling them at least they now know so can help you out hopefully, why didn't you want to tell them can I ask?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I do technically but it's not been arranged totally yet so not seeing anyone yet although hopefully in the near future I should see someone *fingers crosssed*

    Well, although it's not the best way of telling them at least they now know so can help you out hopefully, why didn't you want to tell them can I ask?
    I'm in the same situation with the mentor thing at the moment. I'll have my fingers crossed for both of us!

    I didn't want to tell them because I didn't want to let them down because I'm supposed to be doing well. I'm also scared that if I'm honest with them and things continue to get worse then I face being sectioned again and I never want to go into hospital again. I'm not that bad at the moment but things are heading that way and I'm scared.
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    (Original post by becki08)
    I'm in the same situation with the mentor thing at the moment. I'll have my fingers crossed for both of us!

    I didn't want to tell them because I didn't want to let them down because I'm supposed to be doing well. I'm also scared that if I'm honest with them and things continue to get worse then I face being sectioned again and I never want to go into hospital again. I'm not that bad at the moment but things are heading that way and I'm scared.
    Hummm...I'm slightly drunk so I apologise if my advice is crap :o: Anyway, now you've told them that's good I'm sure you haven't let them down and that they're actually glad you've told them what's going on because it means they can help you before you get to the point where sectioning is a possibility? :hugs: I'm sorry to hear things are getting bad for you, but at least hopefully putting up the anti-depressant and stuff will help stop things getting much worse?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Hummm...I'm slightly drunk so I apologise if my advice is crap :o: Anyway, now you've told them that's good I'm sure you haven't let them down and that they're actually glad you've told them what's going on because it means they can help you before you get to the point where sectioning is a possibility? :hugs: I'm sorry to hear things are getting bad for you, but at least hopefully putting up the anti-depressant and stuff will help stop things getting much worse?
    Yeah that's what I'm hoping. The only thing I'm worried about by having my AD increased is the side effect of weight gain, especially as I'm trying to lose weight. Saying that, I'm barely eating so if I gain weight then I'd be quite amazed/pissed off. And your advise isn't crap! :hugs:
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    Something happened a bit ago that I'm not quite sure what to make of. Apparently, earlier in the physics undergrad lounge some friends of mine were wasting time by thinking of funny units of measure. The one that pertained to me was
    Happiness=\frac {1}{Das}

    Am I that obviously down all the time that people notice? Certainly doesn't make me feel better about things
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    Hey hope everyone is ok today. I just read the article about Stephen Fry, wow thanks Crystal for sharing, it's so true about the weather analogy. Today was a good day for me, I also managed to eat three square meals and even snack which is something I haven't done since I got to Uni. I did wake up last night ( just as my sleeping patterns were getting better) but it wasn't as bad as last time and I didn't have a panic attack which I'm thankful about. I just want all days to be good...you know...I'm trying to be the optimist but things that I can't control sometimes get the better of me...I've got another counselling session on Thursday, hopefully we'll cover some more things...I want to be rid of the horrible dark feelings and get back to "normal", I'm worried that my work may suffer. Trying not to over think about things ( one of my biggest faults!). :hugs: remember guys like Mr Fry said, mood is like the weather, there WILL be sunshine!
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    Hi I just thought I'd share something which is helping me right now. It's just to realise that coping is OK. So often with depression I think "I should be happy" or "why can't I be happy?" or variations on the same. Most people on this planet are just focusing on coping they're not focusing on the pursuit of happiness that the West is obsessed with.

    It's difficult to do but just focusing on coping and little things to cope is all you have to do and by coping and improving your coping methods you do in fact become happier. But by focusing on happiness, or rather your lack of it compared to other people (which is silly anyway because you don't know how other people are feeling mostly) then you just get frustrated with yourself.

    I've realised maybe I'll always be a bit changeable and moody just like Stephen Fry was saying. But if you don't panic and just constantly improve your coping strategies and not being desperate for happiness or some imaginary life you want it takes the irrational melodrama out of it a bit.

    Also focusing on the external and talking to and being around others and helping others helps too.

    I think once you learn to cope a bit better with your depression you then trust yourself a bit more and then get a bit stronger generally. Even though the anxiety and depression give you real feelings i've tried to take them less seriously. Even if I'm never feeling happy exactly I know that the strength of the bad feelings can be bad or really, really bad.
    I've realised I give a lot more value to the bad feelings than I do to the better ones. As in, when I'm feeling mediocre I won't really notice but when I'm totally anxious and depressed I notice it and I start to get frustrated and start being all 'why me?' etc :rolleyes: So I think recognising when you are happy or OK is really important to show that you aren't depressed *all* the time. Because they're not that intense and you're still not exactly 'happy' it's quite difficult to do this I think.


    Anyway, I really hope that helps some of you.
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    Bad day today :cry:
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    (Original post by BruceTaylor)
    Bad day today :cry:
    What's up? :hugs:
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    (Original post by jonathan122)
    What's up? :hugs:
    Just feeling really low. Meh, it'll pass.
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    :hugs: for Bruce. Could you maybe do something to comfort yourself like watch a funny DVD or eat some chocolate or something?


    My mood's been slightly better the last couple of days. Things are really going downhill with my eating though but I don't care about it anymore. I emailed my mental health advisor and told him I didn't want the appointment with the eating disorders specialist. I'm not ill and I don't want to change what I'm doing at the moment. My doctor laughed when I said I didn't have an ED but I honestly don't. I don't fit any of the criteria for them. I know it's not healthy but I'm not ill. I don't want to change.
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    (Original post by becki08)
    :hugs: for Bruce. Could you maybe do something to comfort yourself like watch a funny DVD or eat some chocolate or something?


    My mood's been slightly better the last couple of days. Things are really going downhill with my eating though but I don't care about it anymore. I emailed my mental health advisor and told him I didn't want the appointment with the eating disorders specialist. I'm not ill and I don't want to change what I'm doing at the moment. My doctor laughed when I said I didn't have an ED but I honestly don't. I don't fit any of the criteria for them. I know it's not healthy but I'm not ill. I don't want to change.
    Glad you've been feeling a bit better Becki! :hugs:

    A similar thing happened to me yesterday. I saw my psych and he was like 'I think your food issues are down to control' and I was like :lolwut: I just don't feel hungry so I don't eat, what's wrong with that?

    What are you doing at the moment food wise if you don't mind me asking?

    I was getting seriously worked up yesterday, 'cause he was like oh your weight has gone down again and it should be stable and your BMI is actually medically anorexic and I got annoyed when he started asking me if I knew what I was doing to myself and then started mentioning eating disorders when I don't have one.

    I don't have an eating disorder because I'm not that kind of person with that kind of mindset. I don't think food will make me fat, I know I'm not fat etc. I know this food thing is stupid and I have to eat but like you said, I don't want to change. I'm ok.

    I have to eat in my own way and no-one else seems to get that. I eat. I just don't eat like them.

    I have to go for a blood test now to see if I have all the minerals I need. I'm taking vitamins so I can't be *that* unhealthy.
    I feel fine.
    Damn doctors!
 
 
 
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