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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Glad you've been feeling a bit better Becki! :hugs:

    A similar thing happened to me yesterday. I saw my psych and he was like 'I think your food issues are down to control' and I was like :lolwut: I just don't feel hungry so I don't eat, what's wrong with that?

    What are you doing at the moment food wise if you don't mind me asking?

    I was getting seriously worked up yesterday, 'cause he was like oh your weight has gone down again and it should be stable and your BMI is actually medically anorexic and I got annoyed when he started asking me if I knew what I was doing to myself and then started mentioning eating disorders when I don't have one.

    I don't have an eating disorder because I'm not that kind of person with that kind of mindset. I don't think food will make me fat, I know I'm not fat etc. I know this food thing is stupid and I have to eat but like you said, I don't want to change. I'm ok.

    I have to eat in my own way and no-one else seems to get that. I eat. I just don't eat like them.

    I have to go for a blood test now to see if I have all the minerals I need. I'm taking vitamins so I can't be *that* unhealthy.
    I feel fine.
    Damn doctors!
    Sorry to hear you're having problems with eating and doctors too. I get what you mean. I hope your blood test goes ok.

    For the last few years I've switched between phases or bingeing and then starving. For the past 4 or 5 months I'd been really struggling with bingeing and over-eating but since Wednesday I've gone back to starving and exercising. I know I'm eating ridiculously little but I have to do it this way. I can't do eating healthily. The only way I don't get urges to binge is to restrict. I did try healthy eating for 3 weeks but I couldn't do it. I know it's not healthy to do it like this but it doesn't fit into the criteria for any ED either so I'm getting really frustrated with my doctor for thinking I have an ED when I don't.
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    (Original post by Toaster Leavings)
    Hi I just thought I'd share something which is helping me right now. It's just to realise that coping is OK. So often with depression I think "I should be happy" or "why can't I be happy?" or variations on the same. Most people on this planet are just focusing on coping they're not focusing on the pursuit of happiness that the West is obsessed with.

    It's difficult to do but just focusing on coping and little things to cope is all you have to do and by coping and improving your coping methods you do in fact become happier. But by focusing on happiness, or rather your lack of it compared to other people (which is silly anyway because you don't know how other people are feeling mostly) then you just get frustrated with yourself.

    I've realised maybe I'll always be a bit changeable and moody just like Stephen Fry was saying. But if you don't panic and just constantly improve your coping strategies and not being desperate for happiness or some imaginary life you want it takes the irrational melodrama out of it a bit.

    Also focusing on the external and talking to and being around others and helping others helps too.

    I think once you learn to cope a bit better with your depression you then trust yourself a bit more and then get a bit stronger generally. Even though the anxiety and depression give you real feelings i've tried to take them less seriously. Even if I'm never feeling happy exactly I know that the strength of the bad feelings can be bad or really, really bad.
    I've realised I give a lot more value to the bad feelings than I do to the better ones. As in, when I'm feeling mediocre I won't really notice but when I'm totally anxious and depressed I notice it and I start to get frustrated and start being all 'why me?' etc :rolleyes: So I think recognising when you are happy or OK is really important to show that you aren't depressed *all* the time. Because they're not that intense and you're still not exactly 'happy' it's quite difficult to do this I think.


    Anyway, I really hope that helps some of you.
    :yes: Too true thanks so much for that! I often find my self longing to be happy which makes me focus on the fact that I am unhappy which isn't good. *thumbs up*

    Hey Becki and diamonddust, I seem to have the same problem too, like you Beckie I switch between bingeing and starving. The last couple of days I have binged a bit but I think I needed it considering that I hadn't been eating properly for almost a month now and had lost a lot of weight. I think though unlike the two of you I do have a big problem with food. Not so much an eating disorder but when I look in the mirror I tend to see things that arent there...my clothes tell me I'm shrinking but my eyes tell me otherwise. I've been eating more regularly now but I'm just scared that if I go back home that it will all start up again. When I'm anxious its worse, I can't eat for days/weeks even. I've got another session with the counsellor tomorrow, I think they are doing me good. It gives me a sense of control, it's like I'm working out the complex puzzel that is my mind for myself.
    I do get moments where I'm scared for no particular reason...I just think about life, and how scary it can be, and how I wish I could just get away from it all and live under a rock in peace. Society freaks me out sometimes...
    I feel like I'm waisting my time here, doing a degree I don't really have a passion for...I'm not really motivated to do any work at all and the days are just disappearing and I'm gaining nothing...

    I hope you are both well, diamonddust you may not have an eating disorder but if your BMI is below what it should be then you may need to do something about it. Check my reply to your PM there are a few tips in there. Good luck with it
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    I'm glad you're finding the counselling helpful Rachel. I hope your session goes ok tomorrow.
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    My life is heading nowhere.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    My life is heading nowhere.
    :hugs: Where would you ideally like it to head?
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    (Original post by jonathan122)
    :hugs: Where would you ideally like it to head?

    Places where it cannot possibly go as there are numerous obstacles in the way; that can't be helped, so inevitably: nowhere, as I said.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    Places where it cannot possibly go as there are numerous obstacles in the way; that can't be helped, so inevitably: nowhere, as I said.
    :hugs: If these obstacles genuinely are insurmountable, then you may just need to rescale your plans, but that doesn't mean your life is going nowhere. You're at sixth form / college now, so you've already achieved more than most people your age.

    You said before that you were wanting to go to uni. What course were you thinking of studying?

    :hugs:
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    [QUOTE=RachelOranges]:yes: Too true thanks so much for that! I often find my self longing to be happy which makes me focus on the fact that I am unhappy which isn't good. *thumbs up*

    Hey Becki and diamonddust, I seem to have the same problem too, like you Beckie I switch between bingeing and starving. The last couple of days I have binged a bit but I think I needed it considering that I hadn't been eating properly for almost a month now and had lost a lot of weight. I think though unlike the two of you I do have a big problem with food. Not so much an eating disorder but when I look in the mirror I tend to see things that arent there...my clothes tell me I'm shrinking but my eyes tell me otherwise. I've been eating more regularly now but I'm just scared that if I go back home that it will all start up again. (snipped )QUOTE]

    Thanks Rachel. I read the PM- sorry I didn't know you'd replied- and yeah, I found it really helpful! :hugs:
    Good luck with couselling tomorrow and hope it goes well!

    I'm a bit disturbed by my weight loss tbh but I'm scared of putting on weight (like every weight higher than what I am sounds like too much ). But it's a bit worrying that I can no longer fit into my size 6 trousers and I still don't look how I want to.
    I managed to eat today and yesterday but I really don't want to eat anymore. It hurts and I feel bad and I'm just bored of food.

    Becki, maybe your doctor thinks you have an ED-NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specifed) where you have tendencies of anorexia or/and bulimia but it isn't full blown? It sucks though. If you don't have an eating disorder it's annoying when people think you do. Hope everything does ok for you. x :hugs:
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    :cry: I miss my friends so much. I just wish they would contact me. :cry:
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    :cry:
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    (Original post by diamonddust)
    Thanks Rachel. I read the PM- sorry I didn't know you'd replied- and yeah, I found it really helpful! :hugs:
    Good luck with couselling tomorrow and hope it goes well!

    I'm a bit disturbed by my weight loss tbh but I'm scared of putting on weight (like every weight higher than what I am sounds like too much ). But it's a bit worrying that I can no longer fit into my size 6 trousers and I still don't look how I want to.
    I managed to eat today and yesterday but I really don't want to eat anymore. It hurts and I feel bad and I'm just bored of food.

    Becki, maybe your doctor thinks you have an ED-NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specifed) where you have tendencies of anorexia or/and bulimia but it isn't full blown? It sucks though. If you don't have an eating disorder it's annoying when people think you do. Hope everything does ok for you. x :hugs:
    Maybe you don't have anorexia but being scared of putting on weight when you're at a very low weight already isn't right so you may have an ED. You may not think you're fat but if you're still wanting to lose more then there might be a problem. I understand that it's hard to eat though :hugs:

    I don't know, maybe she thinks that. I don't think so though. I can't have an ED when I'm this fat.
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    (Original post by jonathan122)
    :cry: I miss my friends so much. I just wish they would contact me. :cry:
    :hugs: could you maybe contact them instead? Here if you want to talk.
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    (Original post by becki08)
    :hugs: could you maybe contact them instead? Here if you want to talk.
    I have done, but they don't reply. A couple of people have threatened me with police action if I continue.

    How are you today, Becki? :hugs:
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    (Original post by jonathan122)
    I have done, but they don't rely. A couple of people have threatened me with police action if I continue.

    How are you today, Becki? :hugs:
    :lolwut: You need some new friends! :hugs:
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    :lolwut: You need some new friends! :hugs:
    Unfortunately, once you've been tainted in this way it seems nobody's willing to give you a second chance.

    I'm trying to make new friends in London. It's not going well so far. :cry:

    How are you today Nat?
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    :cry:
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    (Original post by jonathan122)
    I have done, but they don't rely. A couple of people have threatened me with police action if I continue.

    How are you today, Becki? :hugs:
    :hugs: Sorry to hear that. Could you maybe join some clubs or societies to try and make new friends where people won't know you?
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    (Original post by BruceTaylor)
    :cry:
    :hugs: what's wrong?
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    (Original post by becki08)
    :hugs: Sorry to hear that. Could you maybe join some clubs or societies to try and make new friends where people won't know you?
    I'm trying, but it's not been a great success so far.
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    (Original post by jonathan122)
    Unfortunately, once you've been tainted in this way it seems nobody's willing to give you a second chance.

    I'm trying to make new friends in London. It's not going well so far. :cry:

    How are you today Nat?
    I understand, entirely.

    :hugs:

    You have us, and I hope you make some new friends, soon.
 
 
 
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