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    I feel so unhappy, and I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I don't understand why I care so much about these people when all they do is make me unhappy, but I can't stop myself. :cry:
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    (Original post by jonathan122)
    I feel so unhappy, and I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I don't understand why I care so much about these people when all they do is make me unhappy, but I can't stop myself. :cry:

    :hugs: :hugs:
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    :hugs: :hugs:
    Thanks Malsy. :hugs: I'm feeling a bit more stable tonight, still meh though.

    Well done on going to the doctors, I know it must have been hard for you. I hope something good comes out of it. :hugs:
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    Thanks, Jonathan.

    Hate to say it but I honestly don't think anything will come of it the second time round; the means of contact with me is via my phone and something always goes wrong i.e. miss the call etc. It's not just me being cynical, I honestly don't think anything will come of it. :sigh:
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    Had a very bad night last night. Went out and bought lots of paracetamol and nearly overdosed but thankfully didn't. Saw my mental health advisor today and I've agreed to see the eating disorder psychologist next month. Exhausted today.

    How is everyone?
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    I'm reading a book currently, and the woman in it gets tardive dyskinesia after about 5 years on antipsychotics (it's good btw I haven't finished it yet but so far it has really kind of helped sometimes motivate me to do even a bit of reading which is good). I've been on them nearly 2 years and I'm so scared about getting it. I like playing sports and probably wouldn't be able to play anymore, everyone would think I was totally crazy and I'd never be able to get any job not to mention what I actually want to do. I talked to my friend about stopping them but he said no and I'm scared. On the one hand I'm trying not to be worried because they're not real anyway so it's impossible I'll get it, on the other I'm terrified what if they are and I do get it so I'm just confused now about what to think and do.

    I'm sorry to hear you had a bad night becki, but on the positive side you didn't take the pills which is good and have you got rid of them so you're not tempted?
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    urgh. stomach cramp+ headache=
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm reading a book currently, and the woman in it gets tardive dyskinesia after about 5 years on antipsychotics (it's good btw I haven't finished it yet but so far it has really kind of helped sometimes motivate me to do even a bit of reading which is good). I've been on them nearly 2 years and I'm so scared about getting it. I like playing sports and probably wouldn't be able to play anymore, everyone would think I was totally crazy and I'd never be able to get any job not to mention what I actually want to do. I talked to my friend about stopping them but he said no and I'm scared. On the one hand I'm trying not to be worried because they're not real anyway so it's impossible I'll get it, on the other I'm terrified what if they are and I do get it so I'm just confused now about what to think and do.

    I'm sorry to hear you had a bad night becki, but on the positive side you didn't take the pills which is good and have you got rid of them so you're not tempted?

    Could you talk to your doctor about your medication? They might be able to change you to one where that isn't a side effect. Also you have to think what would be worse - having the voices really bad and other psychotic symptoms or whether you're willing to risk it as it's not a definite. Definitely don't stop them without talking to your doctor though.

    I haven't managed to get rid of them but I did manage to tell my mental health advisor that I have them. I'm kind of reluctant to get rid of them because I know I'd only buy them again in the end and it would be a waste of money. I'm not tempted by them at the moment though. I've had a stock pile of my sleeping tablets for a month now and I've resisted so the paracetamol will just go with them.
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    The voices are back. I'm scared :cry:
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    I just want to be 'normal' again. Not even happy, just how I was before all this. I'd go through all the bad stuff again if I could just deal with it as well as I did back then and not be depressed. I hate being like this. I'm tired of it. I want it all to go away :cry:
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    I am happy with my floor friends. And I feel quite content.

    I have had a few dips, but I've made myself be with people every time. It's bloody hard, though. I had my first counselling session on Wednesday; that went quite well. I'm going to see her every two weeks until Christmas. It's just a case of helping me to stay stable, at the mo. When we get to xmas, we'll go from there, and may look into some issues that may have caused/contributed to my depression/anxiety.

    :hugs: for all.
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    I'm meant to be contacted by some counselling organisation but I've not been looking over my phone. I'm bad. I won't ever get help this way.
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    (Original post by Laus)
    I am happy with my floor friends. And I feel quite content.

    I have had a few dips, but I've made myself be with people every time. It's bloody hard, though. I had my first counselling session on Wednesday; that went quite well. I'm going to see her every two weeks until Christmas. It's just a case of helping me to stay stable, at the mo. When we get to xmas, we'll go from there, and may look into some issues that may have caused/contributed to my depression/anxiety.

    :hugs: for all.
    :hugs: So happy for you.
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    Laus, sounds like things are looking up for you . I think counselling has helped me too, even though I've only has two sessions so far. I missed my session this week though which I was gutted about and really needed but I was away so...
    This week has been a bit strange. Started of horific, I almost burst out crying in public...
    I'm glad the weekend is here but now I'm starting to think too much again, I wish I could just do and not think.
    Mum and sister are coming to visit on Monday, I hope that goes well...I don't know why but I'm kinda scared...last time I saw them I was a wreck and wasn't/couldn't eat, so I guess I associate them with that now. Fingers crossed it will not be the case this time round though. I feel all this anxiety business has been affecting my attitude towards my work though...I have exams soon and havent even started preparing....*sigh*
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    I just want to escape :cry:
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    :hugs: for everyone
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    (Original post by becki08)
    Could you talk to your doctor about your medication? They might be able to change you to one where that isn't a side effect. Also you have to think what would be worse - having the voices really bad and other psychotic symptoms or whether you're willing to risk it as it's not a definite. Definitely don't stop them without talking to your doctor though.

    I haven't managed to get rid of them but I did manage to tell my mental health advisor that I have them. I'm kind of reluctant to get rid of them because I know I'd only buy them again in the end and it would be a waste of money. I'm not tempted by them at the moment though. I've had a stock pile of my sleeping tablets for a month now and I've resisted so the paracetamol will just go with them.
    Hi becki hope you're feeling more positive today.

    The problem is TD is a side effect of pretty much all anti-psychotics except the risk is lower with clozapine except that has a ridiculous number of other side effects so I can't win. I stopped them for a day and I felt a total mess yesterday so dunno what to do.

    It's good you told your advisor about the pills, I see what you mean about not getting rid of them, I dunno would giving them to someone to look after maybe be a good idea? I know exactly what you mean about being normal in your other post too, I ******* hate being like this and would do pretty much anything just to have everything go back to how it was even what a loser I was then too. But you know, just keep going that's all you, all any of us, can do and hopefully one day it will be gone and stuff will be better. :hugs:


    I have so much reading to do, I've got an essay due in on the 4th and I just can't get myself to do it, I'm so knackered all the time, I've drunk 4 cups of coffee in the past 2 hours and have just about managed to read 8ish pages. It's not going well at all.
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    Christ :cry:
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    (Original post by BruceTaylor)
    Christ :cry:
    what's up?
 
 
 
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