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I've been depressed for at least 7 years Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've seen 5 psychiatrists. I can't change this one as she's part of a team for psychosis the only one in the area.

    I'll be honest, I wanted to join the police. You're right I could try covering them but I think it won't be good enough.

    I try to go to the gym, usually manage about 3 times a week, but I have no one to surround myself with, I literally have no friends and seem completely incapable of making any. It was my 21st and no one cared except my mum.
    I'd speak to her then and say that you don't feel she's helping and can she offer anything else/change her tactics etc.

    Are they in a really obvious place where you can see them?

    The gym is a good start Don't worry about birthdays- I was severely depressed and no one cared but my mum either. It sounds like your mum's quite supportive and I'd hold onto that. Mine helped pull me through.
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    (Original post by n1r4v)
    Before I do, do you try and ignore / forget about your problems most of the time, or do you focus a lot on your hurtful past?
    I try ignore/forget about them.
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    1) Scars won't stop you from getting a job trust me. For starters you can (and should) wear a long sleeve shirt and jacket for an interview... they won't even notice!

    2) Make a list of things you need to do. If you can do any of them today then do. If not then start from tomorrow. Research clubs that you are interested in and join. Find at least 5 to check out before you commit to one. You will meet people and make friends if you give it a go.

    3) I know so many people that end up disappointed on their birthday but everyone seems to think that everyone else has an awesome bithday. You have a year to plan for your next one. Make it worth it!
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    (Original post by hannah_dru)
    I'd speak to her then and say that you don't feel she's helping and can she offer anything else/change her tactics etc.

    Are they in a really obvious place where you can see them?

    The gym is a good start Don't worry about birthdays- I was severely depressed and no one cared but my mum either. It sounds like your mum's quite supportive and I'd hold onto that. Mine helped pull me through.
    I'll ask her.

    They're all down my forearms. If I was intelligent I would have done them somewhere less noticeable, but alas.

    She is I guess, one of the reasons I haven't already killed myself. It's not just birthdays it's all the time. Like I see on here people saying "uni is the best time of your life" well no, it's not if you don't have a single friend there, it's so so so so lonely, watching everyone else being happy whilst you just feel totally crushed inside. I tried societies, I tried sitting by people in lectures, nothing works.
    Sorry kind of ranted a bit.
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    All things are transient-that feeling of pain, suffering, and unhappiness will pass with time. But only through your own volitional efforts, and with the help of those who love you. There are lots of things I would recommend: 1.) see psychiatrist. 2.)Find something that makes you happy, a hobby for example. 3.) Keep up with exercise to keep your mind off things, as well as keep your body healthy. Healthy body=healthy mind. 4.) Therapeutic practices such as meditation, yoga, and alternative medicine like acupuncture can be extremely helpful.

    Most of all, find yourself some friends that make you smile. I would happily be your friend, if you'd accept me (and if you'll make do with a friend over the internet who you don't know)

    cheers

    GJ
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I try ignore/forget about them.
    Oh ok... I was kinda hoping you'd say the latter so I could point you to some decent websites! In which case, I'll give you a different type of advice which may seem a bit strange and completely different to what people would generally recommend, but it apparently has some neuroscientific backing and makes sense - however it may not work for you. I'm also quite sure that people will actively disagree with this, so again, use discretion.

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Anyway, if you're not doing anything for some time, just find a very quiet place, sit by yourself and instead of enacting the usual advice of thinking happy positive thoughts and meditating or whatever... try this for a change. Think about every single little bad thing which has happened to you in life, open those closed doors and suppressed memories and just try and relive them... and instead of trying to ignore the painful feelings, try and concentrate on them and focus on how painful they were and how they affected you - it will feel very painful while you think about it, but apparently, the point of this technique is to desensitise yourself to the pain of all that and after a while... you may become so sucked into this that it takes days... but eventually the pain may start to fade away [but it won't completely go]. You know how if you achieved something like good grades, it wears off after a while? Or if your cat dies you stop feeling continually sad after some time? It's the same principle and it involves a physical and mental desensitisation to the hurtful events of tha past. Of course they won't stop affecting you, and of course you won't forget them, but you'll be more resilient to the feelings and they certainly won't persist in consuming your life. However if you continue to suppress or ignore them, then they may just come back stronger, and will subconsciously affect you.

    Like I said, it may not work for you, but from what I've heard, this technique is relatively powerful and when I've tried it in some cases [not life-changing things e.g. breakups] it does work. Because if I just try and ignore them, then they build up inside me and it makes it even worse! But if I focus on them, the feelings of sadness etc. seem less intense and I get get on with my life.

    It may seem like weird advice, but if it sounds reasonable, try it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'll ask her.

    They're all down my forearms. If I was intelligent I would have done them somewhere less noticeable, but alas.

    She is I guess, one of the reasons I haven't already killed myself. It's not just birthdays it's all the time. Like I see on here people saying "uni is the best time of your life" well no, it's not if you don't have a single friend there, it's so so so so lonely, watching everyone else being happy whilst you just feel totally crushed inside. I tried societies, I tried sitting by people in lectures, nothing works.
    Sorry kind of ranted a bit.
    That's ok Rants are good.

    I suppose you could wear something with long sleeves and keep putting cream on them until they heal.

    That's very true, it was like that at school for me. Don't give up though because it's never too late to meet people. You will get there eventually.
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    (Original post by n1r4v)
    Oh ok... I was kinda hoping you'd say the latter so I could point you to some decent websites! In which case, I'll give you a different type of advice which may seem a bit strange and completely different to what people would generally recommend, but it apparently has some neuroscientific backing and makes sense - however it may not work for you. I'm also quite sure that people will actively disagree with this, so again, use discretion.

    Spoiler:
    Show

    Anyway, if you're not doing anything for some time, just find a very quiet place, sit by yourself and instead of enacting the usual advice of thinking happy positive thoughts and meditating or whatever... try this for a change. Think about every single little bad thing which has happened to you in life, open those closed doors and suppressed memories and just try and relive them... and instead of trying to ignore the painful feelings, try and concentrate on them and focus on how painful they were and how they affected you - it will feel very painful while you think about it, but apparently, the point of this technique is to desensitise yourself to the pain of all that and after a while... you may become so sucked into this that it takes days... but eventually the pain may start to fade away [but it won't completely go]. You know how if you achieved something like good grades, it wears off after a while? Or if your cat dies you stop feeling continually sad after some time? It's the same principle and it involves a physical and mental desensitisation to the hurtful events of tha past. Of course they won't stop affecting you, and of course you won't forget them, but you'll be more resilient to the feelings and they certainly won't persist in consuming your life. However if you continue to suppress or ignore them, then they may just come back stronger, and will subconsciously affect you.

    Like I said, it may not work for you, but from what I've heard, this technique is relatively powerful and when I've tried it in some cases [not life-changing things e.g. breakups] it does work. Because if I just try and ignore them, then they build up inside me and it makes it even worse! But if I focus on them, the feelings of sadness etc. seem less intense and I get get on with my life.

    It may seem like weird advice, but if it sounds reasonable, try it.
    That sounds quite interesting. Tbh just reading it now made me cry as I was thinking vaguely about stuff that bothers me to think about later like you said. I will give it a go I think. Thanks.

    Isn't this kind of like what you'd do with a counsellor? Like talk about stuff to get it out, but this is on your own. I can see why it might work.
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    i have felt like this for about 10 yrs (on and off), i just dont expect life to be normal now. yes life is easier for some people and i just have to accept that. i now live day to day, i just focus on getting through the day without having an episode, and focus on being grateful for the much smaller thing,s and for having an education and a family
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    I'm no expert but hopefully my response may be useful in some ways. Reading through all the posts, i have to say ignoring and forgetting about it may be best remedy at times but there'll be times when it cannot be ignored and forgotten. Not saying its an easy path so its glad to know your mum cares about you. It shows someone who actually cares about you, hopefully through the uneasy journey ahead of you, you can try return that favour to you mum. I'm assuming all mothers out there would like to see their child to have a job, wife, children, house, etc somepoint. Bare in mind 21 years old is still young, its what you make most out of it. Not saying its easy on you and hopefully along the way, there will be in FACT true friends supporting you along the way, hopefully you can find them or they find you.

    People have it worse than you and trying to survive living with it is difficult. Its these things that can happen to anyone at some point in life.

    But yeah, ask yourself.. Are you fed up being depressed for at least 7 years? If yes, Would you like to do something about it? If Yes, Then very best of luck and we'll support you along the way. *high 5*
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    (Original post by 2Av)
    I'm no expert but hopefully my response may be useful in some ways. Reading through all the posts, i have to say ignoring and forgetting about it may be best remedy at times but there'll be times when it cannot be ignored and forgotten. Not saying its an easy path so its glad to know your mum cares about you. It shows someone who actually cares about you, hopefully through the uneasy journey ahead of you, you can try return that favour to you mum. I'm assuming all mothers out there would like to see their child to have a job, wife, children, house, etc somepoint. Bare in mind 21 years old is still young, its what you make most out of it. Not saying its easy on you and hopefully along the way, there will be in FACT true friends supporting you along the way, hopefully you can find them or they find you.

    People have it worse than you and trying to survive living with it is difficult. Its these things that can happen to anyone at some point in life.

    But yeah, ask yourself.. Are you fed up being depressed for at least 7 years? If yes, Would you like to do something about it? If Yes, Then very best of luck and we'll support you along the way. *high 5*
    Maybe I'm missing something but I don't really get your last bit. Like I am fed up of being depressed and have been doing something about it for 4 years now but I just hit a brick wall everything I try, if anything I seem to be getting worse.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm never going to get better, I have no friends, I've just turned 21 and did nothing, I have scars all over my arms so I'll never get a job, my dreams I had are all impossible now, I don't see the point anymore.
    Hey the reason you are feeling like this is likely to be because you have no friends. The best way forward Id say is to put a cheerful act on and get out there to meet people. Get a part time job, join a club with young people etc. Don't worry about how you are feeling because its very natural to feel depressed in your situation you are obviously coping to some extent as you are still hanging in there and asking for advice which is good.

    Also don't forget that a lot of people have very low feelings on a regular basis but don't show it and just push on it is part of life, but knowing that these feelings will pass is the key. The more you get this depressed feeling the better able you will become to cope with it and eventually prevent it.

    I read bbc news website this morning and there was a study done which has found that older people are generally happier than younger ones because they have learned how to cope and avoid stress.
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    I've been depressed over 10 years, and have another psychiatric disorder that will most likely last till my 30s/40s, so in that respect i can sympathise.

    This might sound ridiculous, but do you WANT to get better? You can have all the therapy and pills in the world, but if there's a part of you that for whatever reason doesn't want to/see any point in/recover)ing) then it will be 10x harder to do so.


    In regards to the police, it kind of depends on the actual mental health problem.l The only ones which do definetly disqaulify you are "Cognitive and Amnestic Disorders" and "Substance related disorders", "personality" disorders" a lot of the others are either "may not be suitabl/needs more info and further assessment" http://www.policecouldyou.co.uk/offi...al_59-2004.pdf So it may not be something you have to rule out completely.

    It might not seem like it (and i now this will sound cliqued) but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Mental illness isn't incurable, and people DO get better. Each person is different, there's no way to say how long it will take, but pleas don't write yourself off
 
 
 
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