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Our parents don't let us sleep in the same room together Watch

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    (Original post by sophisticated)
    Again, ITS THEIR HOUSE!
    There's nothing you can say that can defeat that argument. And if you reckon there is, then obviously you have no respect for your elders and your parents that put a roof over your head.

    I completely disagree with you. Her parents aren't being irrational or unjustified. Plenty of parents have the same rules, and more.
    Lol.

    Your arguments are crap, logically. Here's your logic:

    If A owns house B then you must respect the rules that A has under the roof of house B.

    By that logic, murder, rape, torture and abuse are respectable, so long as the owner of a house makes that the rules in his house. Simply because the own the house does absolutely not mean that their rules are rational and justified. All I said was that their rules were irrational and unjustified, and simply because they own the house does not change that.

    And as for the parents that put the roof over my head... they don't have rules like this. They have some rules which are irrational and unjustified, and I have debated with them over these issues, pointing it out to them that they have no basis for it. I refuse to respect rules that are irrational or unjustified, regardless of who makes them, and regardless of what they are.
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    to be sleeping in the same bed as your boyfriend in the same house as your parents is disgraceful! First that's way too young and second imagine what your parents will think "my 16 year old daughter is getting banged right now" It will be your parents bad parenting skills if they allowed you to do it!
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    (Original post by sophisticated)
    I reckon if the OP was more mature than her age, then she wouldn't be on an internet forum whining to complete strangers (most of whom who have replied the same as me) about how unfair her parents are being just because they won't let her do whatever she damn well likes. That is all. Clearly you and I just have a difference of opinion, but I'm not the only one who thinks that the parents are well within their rights to have some rules in place so why don't you go argue with someone else.
    First of all what is the 'right' amount of mature for 16? Because I don't ******* know of any. As far as I know, there hasn't been a survey on every 16 year old, and how mature they are. If you did that, and produced an average, then you could argue about whether or not somebody is 'more' or 'less' mature than her age, but you don't have anything like that, do you?

    There no is defined maturity level for 16 years old. You're either mature or you aren't, there's no such thing as 'more mature than 16' or 'less mature than 16'. What does that even mean?!

    Secondly, using a health and relationship forum to express your concerns about your relationship with your boyfriend being oppressed by your parents isn't an immature thing to do. It's a common issue in relationships between people of all ages, and you can't just place this particular issue to one side because of the ages involved. It's the same issue, and it deserves the same reasoning and advice as any other.

    Secondly, I don't care how many people think that her parents are justified. Correctness is not decided by a majority vote, I'm afraid. Correctness is decided by logic and rationality, and whilst I have used both of these to make my point, you have used neither, and neither have the OP's parents.
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    (Original post by Phugoid)
    Lol.

    Your arguments are crap, logically. Here's your logic:

    If A owns house B then you must respect the rules that A has under the roof of house B.

    By that logic, murder, rape, torture and abuse are respectable, so long as the owner of a house makes that the rules in his house. Simply because the own the house does absolutely not mean that their rules are rational and justified. All I said was that their rules were irrational and unjustified, and simply because they own the house does not change that.

    And as for the parents that put the roof over my head... they don't have rules like this. They have some rules which are irrational and unjustified, and I have debated with them over these issues, pointing it out to them that they have no basis for it. I refuse to respect rules that are irrational or unjustified, regardless of who makes them, and regardless of what they are.
    You're just getting stupid now. All those things that you listed violate some kind of ethical code or law. Whereas having some very common and reasonable rules for your kid to abide by does not violate any law. You'd rather that all the parents in this country allow their little darlings to do whatever they want? Imagine the cost of the consequences. And to your latest post, can I just point out that you don't even KNOW the OP. Neither do I, but hey, I'm not the one assuming that she's incredibly mature for her age.

    I disagree that the rules are irrational and unjustified. Now go away please ok thanks :mad:
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    (Original post by steed999)
    to be sleeping in the same bed as your boyfriend in the same house as your parents is disgraceful! First that's way too young and second imagine what your parents will think "my 16 year old daughter is getting banged right now" It will be your parents bad parenting skills if they allowed you to do it!
    It's the UK, mate. Most of the girls are ****s. Some girls have 2 year old kids at the age of 16. :rolleyes:
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    Just because your friends slept in the same rooms as their boyfriends doesn't mean that you automatically should get to.
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    (Original post by veronica111)
    I've been with my boyfriend for about 7 and a bit months, we're both 16, but neither of our parents let us sleep in the same bed together. It's really bugging me, is it wrong for us to sleep in the same bed together? I mean it doesn't seem it, 4 of my best friends all have boyfriends and they've been sleeping in the same bed/room together for agess!!! It's so irritating, so do you think my parents should let me? If you do, how do you think I could convince my parents, lol

    And, when my 18 year old brother was my age, he always had his girlfriend stay over, my parents even let her come on holiday with us and stay in the same room as my brother, so why am I treated any differently? :mad:
    it is slightly double-standardish but your brother can't get pregnant - also do you think when your parents hear what you get up to in the middle of the night with your bf they'll go - 'awwwwwwwwwww that's our girl' - no - they're right to keep you apart under their own roof - you should respect their rules -
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    (Original post by sophisticated)
    You're just getting stupid now. All those things that you listed violate some kind of ethical code or law. Whereas having some very common and reasonable rules for your kid to abide by does not violate any law. You'd rather that all the parents in this country allow their little darlings to do whatever they want? Imagine the cost of the consequences.

    It isn't me who's getting stupid. Your logic is stupid, and I have showed that to you. I'm glad you agree that it is stupid, because it is... and the reason it is stupid is because your logic is stupid, and your logic allows that to happen.

    If you think that two consenting people having sex in their own beds is a breach of some ethical code, then I seriously question your ethical code. Even though the OP didn't mention sex, she only wants to sleep in the same bed as him, as far as the post reveals. So you think that two consenting people going to sleep in the same bed, whilst having feelings for each other, is a breach of an ethical code?

    You can't bring the law into this, because as far as the law is concerned, the OP and her boyfriend can have as much sex as they want, and her parents have no jurisdiction over her sex life. K?

    I disagree that the rules are irrational and unjustified. Now go away please ok thanks :mad:
    You may disagree, but you have not provided evidence for your point.

    If it is justified, then where is the justification? Where is the logic behind it? Where is the basis for it? Where is the rational basis for it.

    Sure, there is lots of irrational basis. For exampe, 'I just feel like it isn't right'. Or 'that's not how I was brought up'. Or 'I feel that it's far too young'. But this isn't rational. These are feelings, and traditions, but nobody has provided evidence as to why they are justified. Think with your head, not your gut.
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    (Original post by sophisticated)
    Thats silly. I wasn't allowed boyfriends to sleep in my room either, but that didn't mean that as soon as I got to Uni I started having sex with anything that moved, neither did anyone else I know who hadn't been allowed to do whatever they pleased at home. I think your cousin is a one off.
    i wasnt saying that this happened, and i was not saying that it would happen to everybody. i was merely saying that she doesnt have a clue because she was so sheltered and in my opinion that was more dangerous. I was referring to the previous comment me and the OP were talking about of girls being treated differently as they are viewed as more vulnerable but i forgot to quote.
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    I am 18 almost 19, and my bf is 19; we still can't ha Unfair
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    (Original post by veronica111)
    I've been with my boyfriend for about 7 and a bit months, we're both 16, but neither of our parents let us sleep in the same bed together. It's really bugging me, is it wrong for us to sleep in the same bed together? I mean it doesn't seem it, 4 of my best friends all have boyfriends and they've been sleeping in the same bed/room together for agess!!! It's so irritating, so do you think my parents should let me? If you do, how do you think I could convince my parents, lol

    And, when my 18 year old brother was my age, he always had his girlfriend stay over, my parents even let her come on holiday with us and stay in the same room as my brother, so why am I treated any differently? :mad:
    As far as I'm aware, my 21yo brother isn't even allowed in his 18yo girlfriend's house (this could possibly be due to the fact that at one point during their relationship she became pregnant)

    And, when she stays over here (yes, my brother still lives at home) my mum doesn't allow them to sleep in the same room: it tends to be that she sleeps in his room, and he sleeps in another bed in a different room.

    To answer the questions in the post...
    Is it wrong for us to sleep in the same bed together?
    Is it wrong? No, as long as you're both mentally at the same level...

    Do you think my parents should let me?
    There's the view of 'it's their house'. Being allowed to sleep in the same room isn't fundamental to your relationship; if you are a close couple and are serious about the relationship, whether or not you sleep in the same bed or not should be an added bonus to the relationship - when your parents agree to it.

    If you do, how do you think I could convince my parents
    There's the option of making it seem like it doesn't bother you. Give it some time, and after some time just ask, give reasons for why you think it's okay.

    Why am i treated any differently?
    This is likely because, as others have said, you are female and he is male. Parents tend tobe more protective of their daugters than of their sons.

    Personal views here only, of course
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    Your parents probably see you as younger because you are the younger sibling, which is why you're being treated differently to your brother but that's a worthy point to bring up [although bear in mind that your brother is incapable of being impregnated :p:]

    Look, I'm in the same situation but you have to realise that there are some things that are within a parent's comfort zone and some that aren't. Just have patience, as they realise that you're mature enough to not just go behind their back and do it anyway they may start letting you do it, in the meantime just deal with it I guess. It's not that big a loss, I know it must seem unfair cause your mates are allowed and stuff but life isn't fair etc.
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    You're only 16; I think it's rather justified, especially given the duration of the relationship and the fact that you're a girl and your parents will undoubtedly be worried about pregnancy.

    My girlfriend and I are both 18 and her parents (well, her Mother really) doesn't let us sleep in the same room, but I've never kicked up a fuss; it's their house and I'll respect their wishes. In all fairness though, she's left us to the house alone in the past, so she must know we did then lol
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    (Original post by veronica111)
    I've been with my boyfriend for about 7 and a bit months, we're both 16, but neither of our parents let us sleep in the same bed together. It's really bugging me, is it wrong for us to sleep in the same bed together? I mean it doesn't seem it, 4 of my best friends all have boyfriends and they've been sleeping in the same bed/room together for agess!!! It's so irritating, so do you think my parents should let me? If you do, how do you think I could convince my parents, lol

    And, when my 18 year old brother was my age, he always had his girlfriend stay over, my parents even let her come on holiday with us and stay in the same room as my brother, so why am I treated any differently? :mad:
    Your brother was 18, you're 16. No offence, but you sound like a ****.
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    (Original post by Wild Thing)
    SLIGHT difference: he was 18, you're 16.

    I'm nearly 22 and my boyfriend of nearly 2 years doesnt sleep in my room either. It'd be pretty ******* weird to be fair.

    Their house, their rules.
    Why would it be weird if your boyfriend of nearly 2 years slept in your room?!
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    even though at that age I'd wish my parents had let me sleep with my bf in the same bed.. When I'm a parent, there's no way I'm letting my 16 year old daughter sleep in the same bed as her bf. And yeah, while I'll still have the same rules for my son, I do admit I'll probably be a little more lax with him.
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    (Original post by Phugoid)
    If you think that two consenting people having sex in their own beds is a breach of some ethical code, then I seriously question your ethical code.
    You completely misinterpreted her post. She was saying rape and murder etc are illegal which is why the homeowner isn't justified in doing those things. Preventing minors having sex isn't illegal so the homeowner is justified. Or could be justified.
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    (Original post by Phugoid)
    It isn't me who's getting stupid. Your logic is stupid, and I have showed that to you. I'm glad you agree that it is stupid, because it is... and the reason it is stupid is because your logic is stupid, and your logic allows that to happen.

    If you think that two consenting people having sex in their own beds is a breach of some ethical code, then I seriously question your ethical code. Even though the OP didn't mention sex, she only wants to sleep in the same bed as him, as far as the post reveals. So you think that two consenting people going to sleep in the same bed, whilst having feelings for each other, is a breach of an ethical code?

    You can't bring the law into this, because as far as the law is concerned, the OP and her boyfriend can have as much sex as they want, and her parents have no jurisdiction over her sex life. K?



    You may disagree, but you have not provided evidence for your point.

    If it is justified, then where is the justification? Where is the logic behind it? Where is the basis for it? Where is the rational basis for it.

    Sure, there is lots of irrational basis. For exampe, 'I just feel like it isn't right'. Or 'that's not how I was brought up'. Or 'I feel that it's far too young'. But this isn't rational. These are feelings, and traditions, but nobody has provided evidence as to why they are justified. Think with your head, not your gut.



    I think you're ranting for the sake of ranting
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    Your parents' protectiveness doesn't automatically switch off when you reach 16. Although technically you're allowed to have sex, they probably still feel uncomfortable with the thought of their little girl doing it. It's up to you to show them you are ready, and you can do this by letting your parents really get to know your boyfriend. Of course they're not going to let their daughter sleep with a teenage boy they hardly know, but if they are sure you're with a good, trustworthy guy, they'll let you have more freedom. In my experience, one thing parents hate is when boyfriends don't make an effort with them.

    I remember when my boyfriend first came round my Dad was angry when he put his arm around me because he hadn't even made the effort to speak to him yet. Now they know each other well, and my boyfriend is almost a part of the family, my Dad respects him as much as if we were married, and is not protective of me at all.
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    It's a bit hard for a girl to understand but do you think your dad likes the idea that some horny teenager is ******* his precious princess?
 
 
 
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