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    I'm the kind of person who doesn't tell their problems to anybody. Among other reasons, I've just never had that kind of relationship with anyone before. It's been a bit of a tough couple of years, but I don't think anyone close to me really noticed - I'm quite good at putting on a front.

    Anyway, recently I've got quite close to a guy I've known for about five years now, and he's probably the closest thing I've got to a best friend. For the past couple of months, he's been dropping hints that he knows how much I pretend I'm fine when I'm not, and that he's prepared to listen if I decide to talk.

    Part of me is quite tempted by this idea. I don't always deal with things particularly well - depending on how bad things have been, I have shut myself away from everybody, pulled my hair out, eaten far too much, eaten far too little, and self-harmed, all without anyone being any the wiser, and I sometimes wonder whether this is because I don't talk about stuff. I'm pretty sure I could trust him, too - he's been brilliant this past six months, and I sort of think he's earned the right to know if he wants to.

    There's another side of me, though, that isn't so certain. For one, I've told people stuff before only to find them scurrying off, never to be seen again - I can't shake the feeling that the same might happen here. For another, I know how it feels to find out that your friend isn't the happy-go-lucky girl you thought she was and that she didn't feel she could tell you as much, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm about to go away to uni, and I really don't want him worrying about me. I'm also not sure whether or not he could cope with knowing about the self-harm and stuff... we've talked around the subject before, and though he understands it, he's always seemed a bit squeamish.

    I don't know... what do you guys think? Should I stop keeping all my worries to myself, or am I selfish to want to offload everything onto one person?
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    No friends always want to know whats going on and are always there to help. This guy sounds like he won't run off. If you are really worried maybe try giving it to him in chunks of infomation not all at once. But if I was that guy i would want to know and would want to help.
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    I think if you think that you can trust him you should talk to him...plus you would feel better if you share your problems with someone else and discuss it with them :o:
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    Just tell TSR, it's all cool.
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    You definitely shouldn't keep it to yourself. Speaking from experience, it gets you nowhere. However, you don't sound so sure that he is the right person to tell. Haven't you thought about counselling or something? Not that it's always the best thing for some people. Is there no one else you could talk to? A good girl friend or family?
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    I wouldn't tell him about the self-harming stuff, but maybe tell him a little bit and then wait a few weeks and see if he is still there.
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    Tell him it in stages; it might be an idea to make him aware of the fact that you're not telling him everything all at once though.

    At least, this is what my girlfriend did; I'm still here with her some months later.

    Bear in mind a few things to keep yourself up:


    • Everyone has a past and it is what it is; you can forget it all if you want to and start a fresh
    • Telling someone that there's something wrong helps on its own, before even saying what it is, so don't be afraid to open up.
    • No matter what happens, there is always going to be someone worse off than you.
    • Consider everything you have, both materialistic and in terms of friends, family and health. These will by far outweigh your troubles
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    It sounds like you've been craving attention for a long time now. Maybe you should take this chance and let it all out.
 
 
 
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