When you're in a relationship

Do you think it's acceptable to share a bed with a member of the gender you're attracted to? (That isn't your partner.)

I was at a small house party the other night, and everyone was deciding where to sleep. They put me in a bed with a female friend and a guy I didn't know, so I refused as I'm in a long term relationship and thought it would be disrespectful. When I did though people started saying it was "pathetic" and completely ridiculous. I've always thought it unfair on your partner to do so though?

The girl there I'm closest to apparently does it all the time, even sharing a bed with her ex at his home. She just doesn't tell her partner! I'd never dream of doing that, ever. Am I being petty and over thinking it, or does it overstep the line like I thought? What do you think? :confused:

Reply 1

Altruistic1

If you go to a party it's kind of implied that you're up for a bit of fun. Part of the fun of a sleepover is lying next to your mates and talking all night until you doze off. There really is no problem with you sleeping next to a guy unless you're planning on trying it on with him..

Reply 2

Deanna19

10

I wouldn't do it only because I know that my boyfriend would have the ***** with me AND if he did it I would have the ***** too.

Just depends on what your comfortable with in your own relationship. No one can really tell you otherwise.

Reply 3

haz220807

13

I probably wouldn't do it, if possible I'd try and share a bed with a girl as I'd just feel more comfortable. Also I can imagine going home and saying 'I slept in the same bed as x last night' and a partner going WHAT?

I don't think my boyfriend would be that bothered as he would trust me but I still think there's something a bit dodgy there.

Reply 4

Sakura-Chan

20

No, my boyfriend would hate it.

Besides, it sounds weird from the way you described it, I'd rather sleep on the floor with some pillows and stuff than in a bed with a few people at the party anyway. Especially not with some guy I didn't know.

Reply 5

Fen

8

Oh come on people.
it's just sleep.

Yeah, I sleep with my mates all the time. Currently single, but my former bfs never minded.

Reply 6

Creepy Thin Man

If its completely platonic than I don't see why it would be a problem, but I admit if I found out someone I was seeing did it I would be a bit wary and jealous

Reply 7

halfoflessthan50p

12

Sleeping in the same bed... fully clothed... talking!

Its disgusting :eek:

Reply 8

ShiVji

The phrase 'slept with someone'/'slept with him' should give you an idea of where your boundaries lie.

Reply 9

ChaoticMaster

16

Its perfectly acceptable. There is no harm in lying next to someone and sleep or talking to them all night. There isn't also no harm in spooning whilst you sleep. There is only a problem if you do anything sexual. I would and have slept in a bed with a female friend when in a relationship.

Reply 10

ChaoticMaster

16

ShiVji

The phrase 'slept with someone'/'slept with him' should give you an idea of where your boundaries lie.

That means I had sex with. Surely your not such an idiot you didn't know that.

Reply 11

22KT22

15

I wouldn't do it... i would get annoyed if my bf did it so it would be hypocritical for me to do it. Also i don't think he'd like it. Tbf i would have the same reaction with you... also if you lied about it and your bf found out he may think the reason you lied is because something was going on even if it wasnt so it just leads to trouble later on.

Reply 12

ShiVji

ChaoticMaster

That means I had sex with. Surely your not such an idiot you didn't know that.

It's not right to sleep in the same bed .. michael jackson slept in the same bed as children, look what he was accused off ... So in any relationship, theres always going to be doubt if the partner has cheated, unless she videotapes the whole night and shows it to her bf so he doesnt begin doubting otherwise she has no way to make her bf believe that all they did was sleep.

Reply 13

NW86

12

I can't believe anyone thinks its ok. And the guy who said spooning was fine?! IF some guy slept next to my gf proper cuddled up to her he'd be getting a ******* smack

No I wouldn't do it.

To me, it feels like a bit like cheating. I know for a fact it would hurt me if the person I loved/cared about got in bed with some other guy, sleeping with your partner is just one of those nice caring things you do together so why share it?

That and if it resulted in cuddling together (your partner+randomer) then I know I would be really hurt. Call it petty because 'nothings happened' but its still an emotional betrayal.

As such, no. I dont think its acceptable

Reply 16

NW86

12

mipegg

To me, it feels like a bit like cheating. I know for a fact it would hurt me if the person I loved/cared about got in bed with some other guy, sleeping with your partner is just one of those nice caring things you do together so why share it?

That and if it resulted in cuddling together (your partner+randomer) then I know I would be really hurt. Call it petty because 'nothings happened' but its still an emotional betrayal.

As such, no. I dont think its acceptable

not petty at all, spot on the money.

Reply 17

WhiteBoneDemon

it depends on how close the person and you ,if it's your intimate friend,there is no problem,just like the six persons in friends,and otherwise,it's naturally werid.

Reply 18

Cirsium

19

Bearing in mind you said there was another girl there I'd think it was ok. I've always shared beds with guys from home - all my friends from my school years are boys and we camped together and did Scouts and stuff and... I dunno it just seems normal now and nothing would ever happen. But I wouldn't do it with people from uni really. Although that said all the friends I've kept in touch with are my sweet-but-geeky friends where it totally wouldn't matter anyway :p:

Basically in principle: I don't think there's anything weird about your attitude. I bet your boyfriend finds it reassuring. Personally I'm a bit more relaxed - but since I don't fool around with randoms anyway and people know that it's a bit different. I certainly wouldn't share a bed with a guy I didn't know.

Reply 19

d.b.asf

1

I wouldn't, I think it's quite disrespectful to your other half and I know he wouldn't like it if I did just as I wouldn't like it if he did.

When you're in a relationship

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