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    (Original post by Hygeia)
    which is brilliant if you're applying to maths but less so for a medicine application
    It's still brilliant, because maths is quite clearly required in order for someone to study medicine.
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    does this make sense at all...

    "My strong communication and presentation skills led me to come second in Entrepreneurs for Tomorrow, where i talked about child obesity and how it should be tackled in front of about 50 people."

    because at first i just wrote coming second in EfT has improved my communication skills
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    (Original post by XCLNC)
    does this make sense at all...

    "My strong communication and presentation skills led me to come second in Entrepreneurs for Tomorrow, where i talked about child obesity and how it should be tackled in front of about 50 people."

    because at first i just wrote coming second in EfT has improved my communication skills
    They can't be that stong if you came second? :dontknow:
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    (Original post by Sakujo)
    They can't be that stong if you came second? :dontknow:
    So the runner up at Wimbledon isn't a strong grass-court tennis player?
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    (Original post by Sakujo)
    They can't be that stong if you came second? :dontknow:
    No it was like out of all the sussex
    so like each school will have about 4 groups and then one would get through, and then they invite 6 groups to the final where they have judges and stuff, and then me and my partner came second

    and we won an ipod each
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    (Original post by XCLNC)
    does this make sense at all...

    "My strong communication and presentation skills led me to come second in Entrepreneurs for Tomorrow, where i talked about child obesity and how it should be tackled in front of about 50 people."

    because at first i just wrote coming second in EfT has improved my communication skills
    I would suggest "in front of an audience", or something to that effect, but yes, sounds good.
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    (Original post by XCLNC)
    No it was like out of all the sussex
    so like each school will have about 4 groups and then one would get through, and then they invite 6 groups to the final where they have judges and stuff, and then me and my partner came second

    and we won an ipod each
    Maybe say "second in the county"?
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    (Original post by Hygeia)
    which is brilliant if you're applying to maths but less so for a medicine application
    I was thinking THAT exactly!

    thanks though for the tips
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    (Original post by matt^)
    Help!
    i need other words to replace 'observing' and 'witnessing' and thesaurases are not being of use.
    ideas anyone?
    Experiencing?

    I've got the same problem, I've used experience three times in two sentences. Just hope they dont notice.
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    (Original post by Sakujo)
    Experiencing?

    I've got the same problem, I've used experience three times in two sentences. Just hope they dont notice.
    I think they will...unless you're exaggerating :p:
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    (Original post by RoadWarrior)
    I think they will...unless you're exaggerating :p:
    Well, I've used experiences, experienced and experiencing, so not exactly the same but.
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    (Original post by matt^)
    ive got 'observing' right at the end of one paragraph and then i start the next paragraph with the same word
    :lolwut:

    Verb at the end of a sentence? I think you'l have to re-write the first sentence, second one sounds okay. This damn UCAS filter means I can only post general advice without you posting that problem line and getting it flagged.

    (Original post by matt^)
    how are you getting on with yours sakujo?
    ive got to cut out just one more line and then perfect all the grammar.
    then all i have to do is decide on a 5th option to put down (is hard when none of them really appeal to you)
    3 lines under.

    I've got to get off TSR for now, I'll PM you tomorrow.
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    (Original post by Sakujo)
    Well, I've used experiences, experienced and experiencing, so not exactly the same but.
    I think they'll notice then :p:
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    (Original post by RoadWarrior)
    I think they'll notice then :p:
    >-<

    Aw, sod it, I've given up. :p:
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    (Original post by matt^)
    Help!
    i need other words to replace 'observing' and 'witnessing' and thesaurases are not being of use.
    ideas anyone?
    Espy? Perceived? Watched? Discovered? Discerned? Viewed? Regarded?

    For every sensible suggestion of mine, you have to include a cool one, like espied. :p:
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    (Original post by Phalanges)
    Espy? Perceived? Watched? Discovered? Discerned? Viewed? Regarded?

    For every sensible suggestion of mine, you have to include a cool one, like espied. :p:
    Or how about "I took a gander"?

    :p:
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    (Original post by _lynx_)
    Or how about "I took a gander"?

    :p:
    :coma:

    "Upon entering the building, my gaze fell upon the following scene;"

    If I was applying again I would so write my PS as a short story. I figure it'd be pretty easy to pull off - start by talking about your passions and inspirations, walk through your work experience and end with something like "And so here I am, hitting stroke after stroke on a keyboard, illuminated only by a flickering streetlight, and all the while wondering how I will be perceived by those who matter. If you're reading this, you quite literally have my fate, as well as my recent life story, in your hands."

    It would be so awesome.
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    sorry, but also in my ps should i talk about doctors and pharmaceutical companies (health and social affairs)
    as i worked in a pharmacy.

    or shall i not bother because it is not so much of a big issue in Britain compared to other countries.
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    (Original post by Phalanges)
    :coma:

    "Upon entering the building, my gaze fell upon the following scene;"

    If I was applying again I would so write my PS as a short story. I figure it'd be pretty easy to pull off - start by talking about your passions and inspirations, walk through your work experience and end with something like "And so here I am, hitting stroke after stroke on a keyboard, illuminated only by a flickering streetlight, and all the while wondering how I will be perceived by those who matter. If you're reading this, you quite literally have my fate, as well as my recent life story, in your hands."

    It would be so awesome.
    That would be quite awesome. So awesome, that they'd have no option but to at least invite you to the interview. The admissions tutors would be so curious about you as a person that they would die from a case of chronic curiosity .
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    (Original post by _lynx_)
    That would be quite awesome. So awesome, that they'd have no option but to at least invite you to the interview. The admissions tutors would be so curious about you as a person that they would die from a case of chronic curiosity .
    Yeah, at the very least they'd want to see what sort of a person would write a short story as a personal statement.
 
 
 
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