My girlfriend met some new mates a few weeks ago. All good.
Last week she started hanging out with them. But, the issue is, she chills out from 1pm till 10pm - 11pm. It's really pissing me off.
She comes home late, is usually half stoned from smoking weed and tbh I'm sick of it. It' only been going on just over a week and I can't hack it.
She went to a job induction today, and she said "My mates called, I told them I can only stay till 7". Well I hit the roof. I said "Why the hell can't you have one day off, why do you have to spend every day with them? Is it because you get free weed?".
I don't smoke weed or anything like that.
But, tbh, I feel like saying it's them or me. Yeah, you got friends, and yeah, you hang out. But every day from noon till late is a bit of piss take right?
btw, we live together.
What can I do/say? I sent her a text telling her I want her to come home after shes finished work because I want to talk this out. If she goes to her mates, instead of coming home, well, I'll be annoyed.
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Am I wrong to say this to my girlfriend? watch
- Thread Starter
- 09-08-2009 13:04
- 09-08-2009 13:07
you're right you do need to talk, flipping out on her like that probably wasn't the best ideas, but it was out of emotion, apologise and I hope you can have an open honest and productive discussion about her recent behaviour.
- 09-08-2009 13:08
I don't think you should tell her 'it's me or them' I think you just need to tell her how you feel you're being pushed aside and left out and would like it if she spent more time with you as well. If she seems to have a problem with that then you know what to do...
- 09-08-2009 13:09
smash her backdoors in mate
- 09-08-2009 13:10
That's a bit harsh on you - she definitely needs to hear what you've got to say.
- 09-08-2009 13:11
You unchained her didn't you?
- 09-08-2009 13:12
You should tell her that it's really taking a toll on your relationship and if she keeps going it might cause you to break up with her. Don't say it in a threatening way like "IT'S THEM OR ME" just sit her down and tell her that you don't like not seeing her all day, that when she gets back you can't talk to her because she's stoned, etc...Try to appeal to her emotions...And stay calm
- 09-08-2009 13:13
Maybe you should talk her over it and explain your feelings - it seems she doesn't understand how much you feel about this. Have you also tried to get to know her friends? Maybe you could hang around with them too, and still be with your girlfriend, or if they seem like real dicks and just want her for whatever reason you can know for sure that she shouldn't hang round them.
She lives with you aswell - now I don't know much about you but would that be the best idea atm? Normally people go out with friends a lot to get away from home or to have a little break and relax; maybe with you being there all the time she doesn't get that feeling of 'how great it is you're with me right now'.
But yeah, try and call her and tell her you want to talk about this, if she doesn't then tell her as soon as she comes home - don't shout at her about it, but just casually lead to the conversation;
"so how was your night out then?"
"yeah it was good thanks"
"listen, I've been meaning to talk to you about that..."
etc etc, because the last thing you want is to come back at 11, when you're rather tired, and get someone shouting in your face. If she won't agree in talking to you then I'd really question the relationship tbh.