Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

my girlfriend has got a male friend and its bothering me Watch

    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    he asked me to spend the day to get to know him so I know that hes no problem in the relationship, do you think I should take him up on this?
    And if he takes you to a gay bar, he's safe. Otherwise he's just a typical guy that wants to put his penis in your girlfriend's vagina.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Burge)
    And if he takes you to a gay bar, he's safe. Otherwise he's just a typical guy that wants to put his penis in your girlfriend's vagina.
    do you really think this?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by nish81)
    I have to disagree here, my best friend is an attractive girl who i'm not sexually attracted to in the least. tbh i'd probably feel turned off at the thought of sex with her (no offense if you're reading this :p: ).
    But that just shows your not attracted to her, it might be different for OP.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    this is true , thats my problem hes too emotionally connected
    hes a cockblock, the more time she spends with him, the less time she spends with you, and the more likely you and your girlfriend become distant.
    Has this best friend ever had a girlfriend before?
    • TSR Support Team
    • Wiki Support Team
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    • PS Reviewer
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Wiki Support Team
    Peer Support Volunteers
    PS Reviewer
    Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Burge)
    Men and women get jealous, it's natural. All the girls here that are being all dykish about it clearly aren't experienced in relationships.

    Hypothetically (you may have to stretch your imagination a bit here) - if you had a boyfriend - and he appeared to be closer to one of his female friends than you, and he spent loads of time with her. How would you feel?
    Can we not use the word 'dykish' to describe people in a negative way?

    I've been in a six year relationship and I've been both the female friend that girlfriends hate and I've had a trillion male friends. I see them all as brothers - the idea of sex with any of them is horrid and icky. I've shared my bed with two of my closest male friends (and both times they were in their boxers) and my partner really has no issue with it.

    I don't see what the big deal is unless OP is an insecure possessive moron. Not all men want to sleep with your girlfriend. Boys and girls can be friends.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    this is true , thats my problem hes too emotionally connected
    You may think that your girlfriend is basically your life but you can't expect to think that you take up all her life to.

    Also then you should emotionally connect to her? She might prefer her friends advice... friends before relationships :cool:

    Or you could just squash him with you big troll hadnds?
    :rolleyes:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 9MmBulletz)
    hes a cockblock, the more time she spends with him, the less time she spends with you, and the more likely you and your girlfriend become distant.
    Has this best friend ever had a girlfriend before?
    yes but nothing serious (as far as I know)
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    You can hardly dictate who she is friends with.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    She ain't real.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yes but nothing serious (as far as I know)
    if he has a crush on your gf which seems likely then he's the type of guy i described above
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    My story seems relevant here.

    I always tried my best with my boyfriends girl friend. This despite him saying he would **** her in a heartbeat *sigh*. He'd take her to the cinema and often go out just the two of them. I once met them in the pub, they'd just been on a shopping trip that I'd not been invited to, and she showed me the tights she'd bought. But my boyfriend got jealous when my male friend gave me a lift home from work!

    Now on a night out my boyfriend was glued to his friend, whispering in her ear, and a bunch of my mates saw him then came over to me saying wtf, how are you letting him get away with that. I felt humiliated, I tried to have a word with him and he kicked off. I got comforted by male friend, whom then I had no interest in.

    Over the coming weeks my boyfriend got insanely jealous of this friend, reading my texts, banning me from seeing him, logging into my facebook etc. His paranoia and jealousy made being with him a lot of hard work, and being with my friend was such a welcome relief.

    Guess which one I'm with now?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    is he good-looking? he could be gay? you don't own her too! just stop being so insecure! how do u know if it's ur chick that keeps contacting him? u shud trust ur gf! she's old enough to know what is wrong and right!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    My ex had a male best friend who was clearly gay but i still got a little jealous sometimes. You can't help it really.

    But the bottom line is you can't force someone to be faithful to you. They have to do it of their own accord. And the way to ensure that is to make sure everythings working in the relationship. It isnt cutting people out of her life that you see as potential threats. She wont cheat on you if she's still in love with you okay.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by BossManSingh)
    But he has hormones. It will happen.
    So you're saying that rape is inevitable? What a dim view of mankind you must have.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by snoogy)
    I've been in a six year relationship and I've been both the female friend that girlfriends hate and I've had a trillion male friends.
    Great, congratulations on creating tension in trillions of relationships, you admit it yourself.

    I've shared my bed with two of my closest male friends (and both times they were in their boxers) and my partner really has no issue with it.

    I don't see what the big deal is unless OP is an insecure possessive moron. Not all men want to sleep with your girlfriend. Boys and girls can be friends.
    Possessive maybe, and there's nothing wrong with that. If I'm in love with someone I expect the feeling to be mutual, as does the OP. He wants to the THE man in her life, because she the THE woman in his life.
    If my girlfriend slept in a bed with another man I would either end the relationship with her or start sleeping in other women's beds to see how she feels. If we're both okay with that, then fine - we have a ****** up relationship like yours.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Profesh)
    So you're saying that rape is inevitable? What a dim view of mankind you must have.
    In a vast majority of mammal societies, under certain scenarios rpe is inevitable. I don't know if there is enough evidence to suggest mankind is any different
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Congratulations, O.P.: you have competition - other men exist who feel that they'd make better boyfriends. So you can either raise your game, or **** off.

    (Original post by fantasystar38)
    My story seems relevant here.

    I always tried my best with my boyfriends girl friend. This despite him saying he would **** her in a heartbeat *sigh*. He'd take her to the cinema and often go out just the two of them. I once met them in the pub, they'd just been on a shopping trip that I'd not been invited to, and she showed me the tights she'd bought. But my boyfriend got jealous when my male friend gave me a lift home from work!

    Now on a night out my boyfriend was glued to his friend, whispering in her ear, and a bunch of my mates saw him then came over to me saying wtf, how are you letting him get away with that. I felt humiliated, I tried to have a word with him and he kicked off. I got comforted by male friend, whom then I had no interest in.

    Over the coming weeks my boyfriend got insanely jealous of this friend, reading my texts, banning me from seeing him, logging into my facebook etc. His paranoia and jealousy made being with him a lot of hard work, and being with my friend was such a welcome relief.

    Guess which one I'm with now?
    Quite.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    they slept in the same bed on her 18th, I felt like punching him after that...
    I think u should punch ur chick aswell to keep it fair! haha. dnt blame all the fault on the guy! she's at fault too for sleeping in the same bed as her! but u didnt know her when she was 18 right?
    • TSR Support Team
    • Wiki Support Team
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    • PS Reviewer
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Wiki Support Team
    Peer Support Volunteers
    PS Reviewer
    Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Burge)
    Great, congratulations on creating tension in trillions of relationships, you admit it yourself.

    Possessive maybe, and there's nothing wrong with that. If I'm in love with someone I expect the feeling to be mutual, as does the OP. He wants to the THE man in her life, because she the THE woman in his life.

    If my girlfriend slept in a bed with another man I would either end the relationship with her or start sleeping in other women's beds to see how she feels. If we're both okay with that, then fine - we have a ****** up relationship like yours.
    I don't see why a pre-existing friendship should stop existing because of a new relationship. I don't create tension, I maintain friendships. If the girl is going to fly off the handle because of my very existance then it is her creating the tension.

    And my relationship is the most normal, functional relationship imaginable. We understand that it's perfectly okay to have friends, our own lives and be responsible trusting adults and we really don't see the need to dictate who we can and can't see.

    And thanks for the unsigned, uncommented and useless neg rep.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    what the hell, u wanna forbid her to meet up withapparently one of her closest friends just cuz he's a guy?? if they'd have history together or anything, wl, u might have a point but as they are just friends its really not to place to tell thm not to hang out ...
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 9, 2009
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.