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    Anon or delete. Male, 18 years old. I hate to post this here but there's actually nobody else I can talk to.

    My life has really gone down the ******* in the last year. My dad has become very abusive and my mum spends most of her time smacked out on tranquillisers. They're in the process of splitting up and they take a lot out on me - it has got the the point were I've spent the last 6 nights couch surfing to get away from it.

    My cheating girlfriend left me and is now sucking every **** she can find. We broke up a good while ago and I don't have feelings for her, it just hurts seeing her do this - especially after how she treated me.

    I haven't had sex in three years and I feel like I can't perform after being told I was rubbish. Last girl I had I couldn't get it up because I was so self-conscious and it really makes me feel awful. I feel like I'm missing out on so much and that I'll never again get a normal sex life - it's far more upsetting than you might think. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore, I can barely listen to music because it makes me think about all the sex I'm never going to have again.

    I tried to talk to my brother about my ever increasing, daily drug abuse but he freaked out and instead of talking about my problems, he screamed at me for taking drugs. I have tried to curve it but it's the only thing I look forward to. I have been debating Heroin in my mind for months, it appeals to me more than anything. I really can't take living like this anymore, I can't stop thinking about suicide even though I'm not at the point of planning yet.

    The only thing keeping me going if the prospect of uni in late September.
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    I reckon you should start a new stage in your life. Completely new surroundings. New everything. You're in the wrong environment around people who will just lead you to mess yourself up.

    Don't take the drugs as you have a way out. Uni. Don't ruin it.

    Stop worrying about sex. Its not important to think about.

    A few more weeks and you'll be fine hopefully.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete. Male, 18 years old. I hate to post this here but there's actually nobody else I can talk to.

    My life has really gone down the ******* in the last year. My dad has become very abusive and my mum spends most of her time smacked out on tranquillisers. They're in the process of splitting up and they take a lot out on me - it has got the the point were I've spent the last 6 nights couch surfing to get away from it.

    My cheating girlfriend left me and is now sucking every **** she can find. We broke up a good while ago and I don't have feelings for her, it just hurts seeing her do this - especially after how she treated me.

    I haven't had sex in three years and I feel like I can't perform after being told I was rubbish. Last girl I had I couldn't get it up because I was so self-conscious and it really makes me feel awful. I feel like I'm missing out on so much and that I'll never again get a normal sex life - it's far more upsetting than you might think. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore, I can barely listen to music because it makes me think about all the sex I'm never going to have again.

    I tried to talk to my brother about my ever increasing, daily drug abuse but he freaked out and instead of talking about my problems, he screamed at me for taking drugs. I have tried to curve it but it's the only thing I look forward to. I have been debating Heroin in my mind for months, it appeals to me more than anything. I really can't take living like this anymore, I can't stop thinking about suicide even though I'm not at the point of planning yet.

    The only thing keeping me going if the prospect of uni in late September.

    aww that must be awful for you... the parents thing! i know some1 going through a similar situation and i know its not easy. But the best thing to do is make sure u live YOUR life.

    Are you on a Gap year at the moment? do you have friends around still? cos if you do, i reckon meeting up with them more, and having good "clean" fun is what you need. Take your mind off things and just enjoy life again.

    About the sex, once you can start loving life again, im sure a gf will come into your life in no-time... and i can have all the sex u want! :P hehe!

    About the gf... that is horrible, but at the end of the day, shes not worth even thinking about if she treats some1 whos meant to be her boyfriend in that way. Your better off without her!

    hope everything gets better for you
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    Try to focus on what's ahead of you: university. Things WILL get better there because you're parents' problems won't be bothering you as they are now, you'll be in an entirely new environment and you'll have the chance to start all over again. Don't worry about sex: you're insecure now, but when you find someone you really love and trust I'm sure things will be fine.
    As for the drugs and suicidal thoughts; all I can say is that it would probably be the best to get help. Just go see your doctor, and when he thinks it necessary he can find professional help for you. Don't try to deal with it all alone - before you know, there won't be a way out.
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    dont hit drugs what ever you do!!
    i have friends well kinda who are on drugs and there so messed up now their stuck with what they have become!
    the sex dont let it bother you when you are in the frame of mind to start caring again then all that will come back, i have had all the **** from girls but i look past it and well i never had any problems since that *****, and to what she doing now **** her your better than that just sounds like she gonna get aids so **** her.

    the parents all i can say is new life try uni or a college where u can get away and live some where meet new people and everything will look up for the best

    dont give up stay in there it will be worth it!!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete. Male, 18 years old. I hate to post this here but there's actually nobody else I can talk to.

    My life has really gone down the ******* in the last year. My dad has become very abusive and my mum spends most of her time smacked out on tranquillisers. They're in the process of splitting up and they take a lot out on me - it has got the the point were I've spent the last 6 nights couch surfing to get away from it.

    My cheating girlfriend left me and is now sucking every **** she can find. We broke up a good while ago and I don't have feelings for her, it just hurts seeing her do this - especially after how she treated me.

    I haven't had sex in three years and I feel like I can't perform after being told I was rubbish. Last girl I had I couldn't get it up because I was so self-conscious and it really makes me feel awful. I feel like I'm missing out on so much and that I'll never again get a normal sex life - it's far more upsetting than you might think. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore, I can barely listen to music because it makes me think about all the sex I'm never going to have again.

    I tried to talk to my brother about my ever increasing, daily drug abuse but he freaked out and instead of talking about my problems, he screamed at me for taking drugs. I have tried to curve it but it's the only thing I look forward to. I have been debating Heroin in my mind for months, it appeals to me more than anything. I really can't take living like this anymore, I can't stop thinking about suicide even though I'm not at the point of planning yet.

    The only thing keeping me going if the prospect of uni in late September.
    Hey, that sounds really tough and I was a stage in my life where it was so bad, I was trying to get my hands on heroin/morphine and tried a bit of LSD.

    PM me for a chat.
    xx.
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    1. Can I get your ex's number.

    2. Don't do drugs. You ever been in one of those council high rise towers seen junkies wasted their life away? I have. It's only down hill from there.

    3. Uni will definitely be a clean start, hang in there not much longer to go now.. just a month?
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    I can't guarantee everything will become all better, but there are some things that you need to do get yourself on the track to improvement.

    Maintain and reconnect friendships and close bonds with the people that were around you in your good times. You said you have no one else who you could speak to, and if you can't find anyone around you then I suggest using an online counselling help website, with live counsellors. We can try and help here, but they will probably be more helpful.

    Talk to Frank about your drug issues - http://www.talktofrank.com/
    Childline - http://www.childline.org.uk/ (It's not just for children, but young people too)

    It's not as easy to do as it is said, but stop the drugs. That really will become a major factor in deteriorating your life. And if it's your university life that is keeping you going, realise that if you continue doing drugs you are jeopardising that, as well as your health.

    Your family donesn't seem very understanding at the moment, but don't begin to despise them for it. I suggest you seek some assistance with the housing, confide your situation to a friend or relative and find somewhere you can stay for a short while until your first term. You need someone you can continuously talk to, someone who is available for you whenever you need them, to update them of your situation and find comfort in their care. If you can't find somewhere to live, contact your local council or youth housing agency.

    Perhaps start focusing on preparing for university, it isn't that far away. Listen to up-beat music, it really is proven to make you happier .

    As for the sex, man, once you get to university and start feeling better about yourself, it really will rub off to others and you should find someone. Stop thinking in hindsight about what has happened, and start taking control of what you want to do now.

    I'm not a professional, all I can do is try to understand your situation and give you the advice I feel most fitting to you, as can everyone else here. If you find someone on here who helps, just PM them and get talking to them.

    I hope things start to improve for you - good luck

    ps. don't be embarassed about your situation.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete. Male, 18 years old. I hate to post this here but there's actually nobody else I can talk to.

    My life has really gone down the ******* in the last year. My dad has become very abusive and my mum spends most of her time smacked out on tranquillisers. They're in the process of splitting up and they take a lot out on me - it has got the the point were I've spent the last 6 nights couch surfing to get away from it.

    My cheating girlfriend left me and is now sucking every **** she can find. We broke up a good while ago and I don't have feelings for her, it just hurts seeing her do this - especially after how she treated me.

    I haven't had sex in three years and I feel like I can't perform after being told I was rubbish. Last girl I had I couldn't get it up because I was so self-conscious and it really makes me feel awful. I feel like I'm missing out on so much and that I'll never again get a normal sex life - it's far more upsetting than you might think. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore, I can barely listen to music because it makes me think about all the sex I'm never going to have again.

    I tried to talk to my brother about my ever increasing, daily drug abuse but he freaked out and instead of talking about my problems, he screamed at me for taking drugs. I have tried to curve it but it's the only thing I look forward to. I have been debating Heroin in my mind for months, it appeals to me more than anything. I really can't take living like this anymore, I can't stop thinking about suicide even though I'm not at the point of planning yet.

    The only thing keeping me going if the prospect of uni in late September.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfXaJ...eature=related
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqPKGODUnW4
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    (Original post by BrainPleasure)

    Maintain and reconnect friendships and close bonds with the people that were around you in your good times. You said you have no one else who you could speak to, and if you can't find anyone around you then I suggest using an online counselling help website, with live counsellors. We can try and help here, but they will probably be more helpful.
    TSR??

    Keeps you occupied.
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    University will be such a massive new start for you! Hang in there. You can get away from your parents, start afresh without the drugs (if you feel you can) and guess what students are known for... copious amounts of sex lol. Just get out there in freshers week and make yourself some new friends and have a couple of one night stands or whatever you fancy and enjoy yourself!

    It will get better if you give it time!
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    #1

    Thanks for the responses guys. In terms of the drug use, I do it as it gives me something to look forward to. I think, even psychologically, the lack of sex and female gratification has left me starved of satisfaction and pleasure. Getting ****-faced gives me that back in a way, it gives me something to get excited about, as sad and pathetic as that sounds and is.

    The stuff about my ex is particularly bothering me. It makes me really jealous to see how she is now when she never used to be like that - I can't really describe it, it's like a weird anger in me. I feel that even though she was so horrible to me, she's getting all the guys she wants while I sit here and feel like ****.

    I just really want these next 5 or so weeks to pass so I can move on with my life. I again feel bad for that though, as this is the summer and I'm 18. I should be having the time of my life! I'm a good looking guy, I shouldn't be feeling bad about sex! It has become such a bother to me though, 3 years and I just feel like I've lost it. I'm seriously considering phoning up the unattractive slut who is mildly interested in my penis and seeing if it makes me feel any better / if I can.

    Would anyone mind if I PM'ed them? It's difficult to talk properly on a forum.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for the responses guys. In terms of the drug use, I do it as it gives me something to look forward to. I think, even psychologically, the lack of sex and female gratification has left me starved of satisfaction and pleasure. Getting ****-faced gives me that back in a way, it gives me something to get excited about, as sad and pathetic as that sounds and is.

    The stuff about my ex is particularly bothering me. It makes me really jealous to see how she is now when she never used to be like that - I can't really describe it, it's like a weird anger in me. I feel that even though she was so horrible to me, she's getting all the guys she wants while I sit here and feel like ****.

    I just really want these next 5 or so weeks to pass so I can move on with my life. I again feel bad for that though, as this is the summer and I'm 18. I should be having the time of my life! I'm a good looking guy, I shouldn't be feeling bad about sex! It has become such a bother to me though, 3 years and I just feel like I've lost it. I'm seriously considering phoning up the unattractive slut who is mildly interested in my penis and seeing if it makes me feel any better / if I can.

    Would anyone mind if I PM'ed them? It's difficult to talk properly on a forum.
    PM me no problem. I'd be glad to help you out!
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    yeah pm away bud i will help you out as much as i can.
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    The family thing sucks completely. I recommend that you do the best you can to get away from it all. In September, things will be a lot better, as you'll be away from your family and can just be yourself.

    Your ex doesn't sound very nice. I know it's easier said than done, but you just need to forget about her completely - there is always someone better out there.

    I understand why you may feel self-conscious with the sex thing. But if a girl said that to you, then she was just being an idiot. There's no such thing as someone who is bad in bed - it's about getting to know someone and what they like. You're young - you've got years and years ahead of you to have lots of sex, especially when you're at uni. I know from experience that a LOT of men having trouble getting it up when feeling nervous. Again, easier said than done, but the only way to get out of the cycle is to try and stop thinking about it. The best thing to do is wait to find someone you really like, and are comfortable with, before having sex again. You'll find that, when things feel 'right', getting it up isn't a problem.

    And DO NOT do heroin. You know the risks, you know how addictive it is, and how you'd be likely to never kick the habit. It would only bring you more misery, not make you happy. I think you need to find something else to look forward to instead of drugs. I don't know what, but something that makes you happy, something healthy. It's different for everyone - e.g. for me it's books - but I'm sure there's something out there.
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    No offence but at 15, I don't know many kids who are good at sex.
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    Woah, guess low really actually meant low instead of these other half crappy self pity threads. Having a positive target (eg Uni) is great. If possible have more of them to keep you going and upbeat
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete. Male, 18 years old. I hate to post this here but there's actually nobody else I can talk to.

    My life has really gone down the ******* in the last year. My dad has become very abusive and my mum spends most of her time smacked out on tranquillisers. They're in the process of splitting up and they take a lot out on me - it has got the the point were I've spent the last 6 nights couch surfing to get away from it.

    My cheating girlfriend left me and is now sucking every **** she can find. We broke up a good while ago and I don't have feelings for her, it just hurts seeing her do this - especially after how she treated me.

    I haven't had sex in three years and I feel like I can't perform after being told I was rubbish. Last girl I had I couldn't get it up because I was so self-conscious and it really makes me feel awful. I feel like I'm missing out on so much and that I'll never again get a normal sex life - it's far more upsetting than you might think. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore, I can barely listen to music because it makes me think about all the sex I'm never going to have again.

    I tried to talk to my brother about my ever increasing, daily drug abuse but he freaked out and instead of talking about my problems, he screamed at me for taking drugs. I have tried to curve it but it's the only thing I look forward to. I have been debating Heroin in my mind for months, it appeals to me more than anything. I really can't take living like this anymore, I can't stop thinking about suicide even though I'm not at the point of planning yet.

    The only thing keeping me going if the prospect of uni in late September.
    Gosh this is awful and you are so young no wonder you are feeling down in the dumps. I know you are hear for advice and not pitty but I can't help but feel sad when reading your story. Lets start from the top.

    Abusive father, never a good thing when growing up and the fact that you have had to couch surf isn't cool, I bet right now all you what is for somewhere to call home and it doesn't feel like home at the moment. Have you thought about contacting someone who can help with this? Is your dad abusive to you and your mum and brother? If you feel your lives and health are in danger then don't hesitate to contact someone about it if you can. Do you know what kicked off the abusive behavior? Has it always been like that?

    The girlfriend issue she doesn't sound like she is worth the bother but you are letting her win if you let her cross your mind for another second. She sounds like the sort of person who does things just to make someone else miserable so just show her that you have moved on by not giving her the attention she craves and showing her that she is no longer special in your life.

    Somehow ( I'm no expert) I think that the drugs and the suicidal feelings are linked to your inability to perform in the bed. Sex isn't just about the physical but it is about the mind and body working together. If you aren't in the mood or not in the right place mentally or you are intoxicated with drugs then it probably will have an effect on your lebido. Obviously with all this stuff going through your head and all the things you are dealing with right now sex is going to be the last thing your body is going to want to cope with, I'd say all this stress is a big turn off. Before you can start the physical the mental aspect must be delt with first.

    The only advice I can give you is that you seek professional advice about the drugs and about your father. ( oh and in response to your brothers reaction is he younger or older, if he is younger he is probably scared and shocked as he probably looks up to you as role model believe it or not younger brothers tend to have a lot of respect for their older brothers. If he is older then again he is probably scared for you as his little brother and feels that he has failed you and not been able to protect you and feels that the only way he can get through to you is by shouting...which obviously doesn't help. It is a good sign that you have opened up though).

    I agree University will be a good way to start again and leave the past in the past forget about your ex and whatever has happened, you obviously want to make something of your life by applying to Uni and have come on here for help which indicates to me that you don't want to end your life. I know those thoughts are scary, suicide is the easy way out it seems like it will all end but it won't for the people that care about you. If your brother reacted badly to you taking drugs think about how he would react if you killed your self?

    Please get some help nothing is impossible with a helping hand, it isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of courage because you aren't letting your pride get in the way and are acting to take control of your life again. The weak thing to do would be to give up, you obviously have more to live for.

    Sorry to waffle I hope this helped even a little bit. Good luck!
    • #1
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    Thanks for the responses guys, it has been nice to get some advice from real people.
 
 
 
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