Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    anon or delete
    basically i've been friends with this girl for almost a year now, we're really close and i feel i can trust her with anything and vice-versa.
    She's currently dating someone else (who she admits she isn't physically attracted to and is only with him because of his personality) her last few boyfriends treated her like s**t which is why she's with him ^. The other week i told her my feelings towards her and that i really liked her etc. I got texts from her saying " i love x but i really enjoy spending time with you" and "you never know when im single" she stayed around my house the other night and we were cuddling in bed and kissing each other on the cheek/neck etc. She then basically kissed all over my chest and face, and said that she was proud of me for not doing anything back, and how cute i was and i'd make a great boyfriend, she then insisted i gave her a back massage with her top off ?!
    someone explain all this im so confused, surely this is more than best friends right?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    it sounds like more to me, but dont let her take advantage of you, it's not fair, if she has no intention of ever having a relationship with you or taking it to the next step, then you need to tell her to stop, because it'll just mess with you're head, i've had feelings for a best mate before... it's not nice when they mess with your head, even if they don't know they're doing it, i'd just tell her to be straight with you
    good luck
    x
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    yeh i need to ask her that really, part of me thinks she could just be using me, or like you said, taking advantage of me, but whats she getting out of it ?
    we do everything a couple would apart from sex as well
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    She's using you
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    shes teasing you, tell her straight whats shes doin and that you aint taking her s*it
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    you should have taken the opportunity to get some
    but it probably looked good for you that you didnt, in her eyes, you'll probably end up stronger friends because you kept her from cheating and resisted temptaion and all that.
    have a deep conversation about things with her. ITS OBVIOUS she is interested in you buddy
    good luck
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    how is she using me though? what's she gaining from it ?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Chris_Highwind)
    She's using you
    erm c'mon. I hardly think thats the case if they've been freinds for ages.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Ok I was a bit blunt, either she's using you, because she knows if she leads you on she has a backup for if she ever breaks up with her boyfriend, and she knows that you're wrapped around her finger. Either that or she's unintentionally leading you on and is just someone that can be quite intimate if they feel comfortable around someone.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think she likes the attention, I'm sorry. If she was a true friend she woulnt't do that stuff with you then skip off to her boyfriend if she knew how you felt. I'm sorry, she neds to make a choice.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    well she's said that she thinks she's not gonna last much longer with her boyfriend ( if thats some sort of subtle hint? i dunno) tbh i like her enough to wait for that to happen
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Plus i don't think you can unintentionally kiss and rub the whole top half of someones body
    • #2
    #2

    you said you DO not DID everything apart from sex, that's still cheating you moron! why are people so blind to see most people do actually use others for their own advantages.. tut tut
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    1) Don't rush it.
    2) Don't even think about a relationship, just do what seems right.
    3) If you follow those two gems and things are still no clearer in a few months, talk things over to try and find out what's going on.

    I'm emphasising the necessity of not doing anything to confuse the situation at the moment...

    EDVB
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    you said you DO not DID everything apart from sex, that's still cheating you moron! why are people so blind to see most people do actually use others for their own advantages.. tut tut
    i mean as in always with her, lunch together, round her house, cuddling etc
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    My bestfriend undermined my relationship with my recent ex all because he had feelings for me..i can't forgive him cause of it. Me being in a relationship at the time didn't stop him trying to pursue me.
    If she feels differently, maybe she has some feelings for you
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kulture)
    i mean as in always with her, lunch together, round her house, cuddling etc
    ok, still. who goes around and does what was mentioned in the post? unless she's a very affectionate person and is like that with ALL her friends? if not then, i'm sorry but would you like it if you were her guy in this situation?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by beaulle)
    ok, still. who goes around and does what was mentioned in the post? unless she's a very affectionate person and is like that with ALL her friends? if not then, i'm sorry but would you like it if you were her guy in this situation?
    thats what made me realise maybe she does "like" me, she's not like with anyone else just me and her boyfriend. in bed i said to her " if he'd done this with someone else what would you do" and she said she'd split up with him. her angle on it is that she didn't actually do anything, we didn't make out, didn't have sex, etc.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thats what made me realise maybe she does "like" me, she's not like with anyone else just me and her boyfriend. in bed i said to her " if he'd done this with someone else what would you do" and she said she'd split up with him. her angle on it is that she didn't actually do anything, we didn't make out, didn't have sex, etc.
    Well then, on the off-chance you DO get with her, at least you know how you two will split up.

    Oh yeah, WTF is it with these kids totally misapplying the concept of "love"? Really tilts the **** outta me...................
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the other night and we were cuddling in bed and kissing each other on the cheek/neck etc. She then basically kissed all over my chest and face, and said that she was proud of me for not doing anything back, and how cute i was and i'd make a great boyfriend, she then insisted i gave her a back massage with her top off ?!
    you kind of did have a physical/sexual type of contact though ?
    i'm sorry, but i still think she's using you. funny how she started to be full on flirty with you after you told her how you felt huh?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 11, 2009
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.