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Is that a gun in your pocket or.. oh wait it is a gun. watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    You know you liked the title.

    Basically, I was with my girlfriend over the weekend and it was the first time we were going to have sex together. I love her so much and she's drop dead gorgeous yet I couldn't get hard because I was so worried for it to be perfect. She's a virgin, I'm not although I'm not that experienced really - and yes I am completely straight.

    I feel awful. The more we tried, the more I kept thinking about it and the psychological pressure I put myself under worked against me. The worst thing is she thinks it's her fault and it breaks my heart that i've let her down but I just wanted everything to be amazing for her.

    I don't know what to do. It's a long distance relationship as well so it's not like I can put things right on tuesday. I feel like the worst guy in the world because of this and feel I might have ruined an amazing relationship.

    Anything appreciated.
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    Just explain that to her, exactly the same as you've done here and I'm pretty sure she'll
    appreciate your honesty; I know I'd appreciate receiving that much from someone I loved.

    If this was the thing that would 'ruin your relationship' too, then it wouldn't be a relationship
    worth having really. So, yes, as I said just explain that to her and see how it works out.
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    Same happened to me my very first time. Just keep trying, relax and try not to worry about not getting hard, cos that will make it worse. I'm sure it'll happen soon, and it'll probably be fine after that! Good luck!
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    She sounds really lucky to have a guy who cares about her as much as you seem to.

    She'll come round in a day or two....

    It will work out -- I promise OP
    • #2
    #2

    Performance Anxiety.. been there, done that (very recently!)

    I'd been in love with her for 4-5 years but things just never worked in favour for us until it finally happened. I was so nervous after waiting all that time that I just kept losing my mojo again and again! She was a star though and remained very patient and tried.. anything to get me going!

    Gave up in the end and tried it again a few nights later at a slower pace and all went fantastic. Really good communication is soooo vital.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Performance Anxiety.. been there, done that (very recently!)

    I'd been in love with her for 4-5 years but things just never worked in favour for us until it finally happened. I was so nervous after waiting all that time that I just kept losing my mojo again and again! She was a star though and remained very patient and tried.. anything to get me going!

    Gave up in the end and tried it again a few nights later at a slower pace and all went fantastic. Really good communication is soooo vital.
    The thing is, I felt different with her because I love her so much. It wasn't just sex it was something more and I felt I had to make it the best thing ever and deliver because that's how I wanted it to be... perfect. Ironic that the one thing I worried about was what triggered my downfall.
 
 
 
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