Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Why don't I feel like a 'normal' 18 year old? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I was just surfing facebook today and looking at friends photoalbums and they seem to be full of pictures of them out with friends drinking, out clubbing with boyfriends/girlfriends and just generally having fun with friends and it's only just dawned on me that my social life isn't really that of a typical 18 year old.

    Since the second year of A levels I had a really tough time dealing with personal issues such as self worth and confidence, I began to sink deeper and deeper into my own little world of self pitty and that the world was against me. My few close friends decided to cut and run (which I don't blame them for as I did nothing to make them want to stay) which did nothing for my confidence. Being out of practice with socialising I feared that I had become boring and that no one would want to get to know me. I was quite depressing seeing everyone making arrangements in their social groups and having big nights out while I stayed home and revised. I don't regret revising at all but at the same time it meant that I wasn't able to go out. The last party I went to was in March. I feel that I haven't been able to enjoy my self that much as a teenager, I haven't met many new people and my old friends don't seem to want to know me anymore. I've only ever had one relationship which I don't really count because it was in year 9.

    I feel a bit out of practice with the opposite sex and am afraid that when I go to Uni that I will have no anecdotes to share. I feel like I have wasted the last two years, having strict parents its diffcult to go out clubbing etc and well I feel like I'm not growing up quick enough..

    It's not so much that I'm moaning but I just want some advice on getting out there and acting more like my age or am I fine the way I am and shoudn't conform to the stereotypical idea of an 18 year old....any sensible suggestions?
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    Wait till Uni, and tell everyone the opposite of what you actually did for the last 2 years. Make **** up, nobody cares, a story is a story. But if you're going to do things like that, you'll have to back it up.

    Eg. If you say "Ahhh man, this one time I was so smashed, I actually flushed our cat down the toilet". You would obviously then have to flush another animal of similar size or larger, down a toilet. Get me?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    yeh
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Uni isn't about anecdotes - it's about screwing fat chicks and then making them cook breakfast.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    ye lol, even if u explained bout revisin alot ppl there would probs understand. ull feel better when u get ur results anyways
    n maybe talk to ur old friends? tell them what u said here lol n theyll probs invite u out n stuff, or u could organize. its not like u never had friends lol ull probs get straight back into it again
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Aack)
    Uni isn't about anecdotes - it's about screwing fat chicks and then making them cook breakfast.
    lol so 'fat' chicks are your prey on a night out?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KennyS1)
    lol so 'fat' chicks are your prey on a night out?
    A good fry up is more important than meaningless sex.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    or am I fine the way I am and shoudn't conform to the stereotypical idea of an 18 year old....any sensible suggestions?
    Everyone looks on other people and thinks how different our own lives are to theirs, often I find when I get to know people who I consider to be popular their lives are just as (if not more) boring as mine

    I think this shows that concept from another perspective really well:

    http://xkcd.com/610/
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Once you hit uni you'll be in the same boat as lots of other ppl your age.Uni is all about starting your life off. Once school is over, life begins!!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    haha quality

    seriously wtf who cares about anecdotes at Uni?? I don't understand, are they a huge part of conversation, that I'm unaware of or something?!
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not so much that I'm moaning but I just want some advice on getting out there and acting more like my age or am I fine the way I am and shoudn't conform to the stereotypical idea of an 18 year old....any sensible suggestions?
    This. I'm a hermit, and I dare say I'm a lot happier than the average teenager. Getting drunk, having casual sex, and collecting friends on Facebook is massively overrated. Focus on getting good grades; you can always have a social life later. It's possible that like me, you're just better off being a loner. Just do whatever you like, and forget about what others think.

    Also, going to university is NOT, I repeat NOT, the magical cure-all for your social woes that TSR will have you believe. If anything, you'll have to make double the effort in order to make friends and maintain a social life. Remember, the primary purpose of university is education. Don't ever forget that.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    University will be different. It will defo kick your social life into gear because in a way its a little bit easier to go out..will you be living on campus? Because if you are its so easy to go out to the union and just have a good time and then come back late, and the beauty of it is your parents dont have to know what time u were in or what u did . Also there will be societies and clubs that you might be interested and can join which will also be useful in your social life.
    It doesnt matter what you have done for the past two years, because at university you can be who you want to be, but just remember to be yourself, because you may not feel it now, but you are great :-). If the feelings of low self esteem dont go away when you're more settled in at university, try going to speak to a counsellor. I was in the same boat as you with not feeling very confident, but Im feeling alot better now, not perfect, but thats unfortunately down to being bullied again at uni (which is just me not being a good judge of character)

    So basically dont worry too much, university is a new chapter in your life. Keep your head held high and just go and enjoy yourself :-). Hope this helps
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for the advice guys, I just needed a bit of reasurerance from people who have experienced life at Uni that all is not doom and gloom and that I can start again. I realise that there are so many other people on here who post the same kind of threads and it must get really boring but hey. This time though I think I will pick my friends more carefully than I did in secondary school, I have learnt a lot about people and what sort of people I get on best with ( which is pretty much everyone but there are some people I just don't hit it off with).
    As for the relationships thing, I hope that sorts its self out. It's not so much that I want to be in a relationship but its a case of I only feel lonely when it is brought to my attention, when everyone else is together and when people treat you like an invalid when you say you are single there is nothing worse than people saying to you "ohh don't worry you'll find someone"...like I'm waiting for a kidney donor or something pfft.

    I guess I'm just consumed by worry at the moment as I really want things to be better than they have been and I always put my self out there its the rejection I can't handle.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Aack)
    Uni isn't about anecdotes - it's about screwing fat chicks and then making them cook breakfast.
    ****. I wasted my UCAS choices then.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    No such thing as a normal 18 year old, thier diverse.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Facebook is styled to make people look/act/feel popular. In reality, they're probably not that much different from you.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by lolly:-))
    University will be different. It will defo kick your social life into gear because in a way its a little bit easier to go out..will you be living on campus? Because if you are its so easy to go out to the union and just have a good time and then come back late, and the beauty of it is your parents dont have to know what time u were in or what u did . Also there will be societies and clubs that you might be interested and can join which will also be useful in your social life.
    It doesnt matter what you have done for the past two years, because at university you can be who you want to be, but just remember to be yourself, because you may not feel it now, but you are great :-). If the feelings of low self esteem dont go away when you're more settled in at university, try going to speak to a counsellor. I was in the same boat as you with not feeling very confident, but Im feeling alot better now, not perfect, but thats unfortunately down to being bullied again at uni (which is just me not being a good judge of character)

    So basically dont worry too much, university is a new chapter in your life. Keep your head held high and just go and enjoy yourself :-). Hope this helps
    Thanks! I think being bullied and my friendship history have had some part to play in my axieties but I'm the sort of person who no matter how many times I'm knocked down always embrace people into my life and, like you said, am a bad judge or character.

    I think with my old friends communication was a big problem and I hate not knowing what's going on and how people feel towards me ( I guess not everyone is able to be as honest as I would like them to be on that level) so maybe I should just forget them as, if they were friendships worth saving then it would have worked out but by all means if they are willing to try again I won't mind that one bit.

    I will be staying on Campus so like you said there are no parents to lay down the law. It's just that I've been wrapped up in cotton wool for so long I feel I haven't been able to breathe and excersie a bit of freedom which is why I guess I feel like I'm not 'normal'. But like so many people have said get the grades otherwise it will all be a sacrifice for nothing.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    i am kinda party girl, and always had big-crazy-parties everynight. but let me tell u one thing. a girl like me, usually likes to have a bf like u, who is nice, silent, or sort of, u know? i feel like i am soooo fed up wid a kinky guy type, that makes me wonder to have a guy with normal sex attitude. i know this might be out of context, but u have a chance, u know, just open the window, and let the sun shines the room,

    and dont worry about uni, that will be a place that feels more comfortable when u show other about who u are and what you like, not like high schools, where it feels so awkward and ganky, u know? i mean, like preps with preps, geeks with other geeks, or when goths only play with goths. in uni, its not like that. they are more open in accepting people.

    altough racism does exist, like when i am an asian, they might think that i am a terrorist or sumthing like that. lol. i am not, really.

    try to reach other people, and just be your self!!
    its crucial! goodluck wid uni!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think you should worry too much about what is 'normal' - everyone is different. I'm 19, don't drink, and barely go out. I'd much rather stay in with a good book! I don't have that many friends at uni, but it doesn't bother me too much.

    What I'm saying is, basically, just be yourself. When you go to uni, there are a million ways to socialise that don't necessarily involve drinking / clubbing. You'll find a group to hang around with I'm sure. Particuarly in freshers' week, everybody is really forthcoming.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks! I think being bullied and my friendship history have had some part to play in my axieties but I'm the sort of person who no matter how many times I'm knocked down always embrace people into my life and, like you said, am a bad judge or character.

    I think with my old friends communication was a big problem and I hate not knowing what's going on and how people feel towards me ( I guess not everyone is able to be as honest as I would like them to be on that level) so maybe I should just forget them as, if they were friendships worth saving then it would have worked out but by all means if they are willing to try again I won't mind that one bit.

    I will be staying on Campus so like you said there are no parents to lay down the law. It's just that I've been wrapped up in cotton wool for so long I feel I haven't been able to breathe and excersie a bit of freedom which is why I guess I feel like I'm not 'normal'. But like so many people have said get the grades otherwise it will all be a sacrifice for nothing.
    I'm exactly the same, although Ive been bullied and have had many bad friendships, i still let people in my life easily. I think the communication thing might also stem from your self esteem issues perhaps? I know with me I always felt that if I didnt say something I was boring to people, and I still sometimes feel like that, but its not like that at all.

    I agree about your old friends, if they couldnt stick with you through the bad times then you are better off without them, friends are there to support you through the **** times in life.Im also the same with my parents, my mother likes to baby me alot because I am the baby of the family.lol

    Just go into university thinking its a new oppotunity, no one knows you, and they dont know anyone either. It will be alot easier because you are all in the same boat. :-) And yeah, keep working hard aswell because it pays off in the long run :-)

    Which university are u going to btw? And good luck, although Im sure you will be fine :-)
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 19, 2009
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.