Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Was I being too clingy? watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So sort of recently my girlfriend broke up with me (long story I won't explain but not that important why). This was my first relationship and I think I was pretty clingy but having talked with some friends some have said that it wasn't really clingy - more just caring - so I wanna ask TSR on what they think. :p:


    Don't know best way to explain this but I'll start with some statistics: Probably on average texted her maybe once or twice a day unless we started a conversation and then it would obviously be more. Didn't call much (not on contract and didn't want to spend a fortune) so only maybe called once a week for like an hour or two. Also, on something like MSN if I saw her come online (pop-up thingy) then I'd click and start talking to her - she wouldn't do that. Many times I was busy doing something to see her go on yet she wouldn't talk and only later I would see she was online and talk to her so it was like I would ALWAYS start the conversation.


    Now there are other things like how much time I wanted to spend with her which are important I suppose so I'll explain one incident:

    My ex told me she wanted us to spend a bit less time together (she initially said it was because of school work but then I found out that was pretty much a lie). She said that once in the relationship she was spending less time with friends (now I don't know much about relationships but isn't that normal, I mean some compromise has to be made right?) and that if she did spend time with them I'd be there (we were in the same friendship circles) so it would feel as though they weren't really there. This upset me slightly but I tried to understand however having said that she continued to spend an enormous amount of time with one of her cousins who she was close to. I can understand, she's family, but surely if she's compromising time with me to see friends then she can do the same with her and see more of her friends - that is what she wanted yet is willing ONLY to compromise me and seeing me rather than anything else pretty much.


    You know I do hope that I am a little bit clingy because I think (could be wrong) that shows that I do care rather than being super relaxed which I couldn't do. However, I also hope that it's not seen too clingy but if it was then I'd rather know.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    i bet its nore to do with why ever you broke up
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It doesnt seem that clingy really. But it seems you were a lot more into her than she was you. MSN is always a bit difficult, I mean if your both on it loads it becomes a bit unecessary. But i'd say calling once a week is normal and texting once twice a day is pretty normal.

    Chalk this one down to experiance, it clearly was never going to work
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You're B u l l s h i t t i n g, You were a lot more clingy than that, stop trying to get sympathy no ******* way someone is going to call you clingy for calling ONCE a week and texting twice a day.


    I bet you WERE clingy, i bet you called her everyday and spoke for hours on the phone, text her all the time and on msn as soon as she signed in....... "HELLO"

    So the answer is yes - you were clingy and that's why you're single.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    you only spoke to your gf once a week on the phone? huh?! and you started every msn convo? i wouldn't say you were clingy... i would say she wasn't into you though
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I've never been in a relationship (been asked but turned down, sorry had to say that b4 the snide comments) but if you're telling the truth, word for word then I would say that's not at all clingy.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    It's not that you were clingy, is that she just really wasn't that bothered.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Once a week on the phone?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    How honest is this post? It's like the other thread today where this girl posted about her ex making her life hell. I'm sure that her version is hugely exaggerated and mostly untrue.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Respect4Life)
    You're B u l l s h i t t i n g, You were a lot more clingy than that, stop trying to get sympathy no ******* way someone is going to call you clingy for calling ONCE a week and texting twice a day.


    I bet you WERE clingy, i bet you called her everyday and spoke for hours on the phone, text her all the time and on msn as soon as she signed in....... "HELLO"

    So the answer is yes - you were clingy and that's why you're single.
    I agree, btw..... could you like change your nickname .. it's kinda similiar .....:mad:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    She just wasn't for you, when u meet the right person it wont be like that, you only felt clingy cus she didn't reciprocate.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Respect4Life)
    You're B u l l s h i t t i n g, You were a lot more clingy than that, stop trying to get sympathy no ******* way someone is going to call you clingy for calling ONCE a week and texting twice a day.


    I bet you WERE clingy, i bet you called her everyday and spoke for hours on the phone, text her all the time and on msn as soon as she signed in....... "HELLO"

    So the answer is yes - you were clingy and that's why you're single.
    All that is wrong but yes, when she did come on MSN pretty much as soon as she signed in I did say hello - surely that's just normal though?

    I realise I've made this seem pretty much nothing but honestly I did think the MSN thing was a bit clingy because I would always check if she was online when I came online and things like that.

    Like I said, I wasn't on contract and was on T-Mobile text appeal, I think people on it will vouch that it's crazy to call anyone at 40p a minute (I could sometimes use my dad's phone who was on contract with like 800 minutes but hardly used any so that's why like 1-2 hours a week was possible). Is that weird to not call much - we just talked a lot more on MSN and stuff.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    Not clingy. I speak to my bf everyday on the phone for at least 1 hour, unless we see each other. It sounds like she didn't want to pursue the relationship anyway. Take this as a learning curve. Also, if she really wanted you just as badly as you wanted her, she would make the effort and miss being apart from you. I personally miss my bf more than anything compared to my friends, and as a result make more effort and time for my bf.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    i wouldnt say u were clingy. cos u dont text or call her 24/7. u said that u felt that u were clingy on msn, but i dont think so.lol. i mean its only natural that u come on9, scan thru ur contact list, see ur gf on, and want to talk to her. clingy to me is like, if u called her constantly, asking her where she was, what she;s doing and stuff like that all the time. but yeah, looks like she wasnt into making the relationship work. but its only ur first, ull learn as u go along =)
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    I think if someone isn't that keen on seeing you often then you probably shouldn't be going out with them. When you're in a relationship with someone you generally want to be with them a lot, I reckon if she wasn't like that and instead more concerned with her friends and her cousin then she really wasn't worth the effort. I don't think you were clingy, I do however think she failed to consider your feelings.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Respect4Life)
    You're B u l l s h i t t i n g, You were a lot more clingy than that, stop trying to get sympathy no ******* way someone is going to call you clingy for calling ONCE a week and texting twice a day.


    I bet you WERE clingy, i bet you called her everyday and spoke for hours on the phone, text her all the time and on msn as soon as she signed in....... "HELLO"

    So the answer is yes - you were clingy and that's why you're single.
    :confused: seriously what the hell?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Mate, thats not clingy... thats normal. If you're with her, you wanna talk to them and that. Sounds like she just wasnt into you mate... sorry. She sounds like a ***** to be honest....
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I didn't think the amount I texted or called was clingy either. My main thing that I thought was clingy was things like to see her more often which some said was clingy. I mean, is it fair that she saw her friends less because I was with her? I think that's normal because obviously something has to be compromised for us to see each other but I've read on here others saying you shouldn't be choosing boy/girlfriend over friends or seeing them less because you have a boy/girlfriend now and if they want you to then they're being clingy.

    It's not that I didn't want her to not see her friends but it's like I mentioned when she kept seeing her cousin like every day (for basically the whole day) and then would say she was too busy to meet up. This is what I was scared was clingy because who am I to tell her not to see her friends - that's not what I want to do - but at the same time it's like I did want her to compromise some time, somewhere, to see me.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    you're not clingy at all - in fact the ideal balance between showing you care and not being an unreadable **** incapable of considering others (like soo many guys I've experienced)..
    To be honest she just sounds like a bit of a ***** who strung you along when she wasn't that into you, and didn't really show any regard for your emotions.
    You deserve so much better.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 10, 2009
Poll
Do I go to The Streets tomorrow night?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.