(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok. Here goes.
I have a part-time job as a waitress with a catering company.
I have been suffering with depression, panic attacks, social anxiety and general stress/anxiety problems for over 4 years.
My job is a nightmare - the day before I go to work I spend all day dreading the next day and I barely get any sleep because I'm just worrying.
I don't get on with all the people I work with and Im just constantly worrying/panicking all day - I feel sick, I don't talk to anyone (usually partly because of tiredness from lack of sleep as well) and I just try to get through the day but it's hell.
On my last shift my manager kept yelling at me, telling me to wake up and that I was ruining the company's reputation and basically threatened to fire me as I'd been there for over a year and am still rubbish at my job. I burst into tears and then felt like an idiot for crying - and all the other people I was working with at the time started talking about it and some were even laughing.
I mean its horrible - I'm so stressed the whole day that sometimes I even stutter and almost forget how to speak! One guest asked me what the choice of drink was and I completely blanked and started stuttering!
I'm on a gap year atm and I'm doing this part-time (going to uni 2010). I hate it so much and I'm thinking then surely I should quit - but then I'd feel like a failure for quitting it when others can obviously get on with it - most of the newbies are waayyy better than me at it. But my dad won't let me quit until I find a new job and there is nothing around at the moment.
can't help you much, but remember this - in september, looooads of people like me who are currently in sixth form and have a part time job will be leaving - there should be lots of new jobs coming up. it's worth going in and asking now to see if there will be any staff leaving in september. and in october, lots of companies take on christmas temps (which often remain permanent - I did!), so it's worth looking for that too. now is the right time to be job hunting, believe me. good luck.
my job is ruining my life :( Watch
- 10-08-2009 12:54
- 10-08-2009 12:59
Hiya OP. I used to have a job I hated too, as a cleaner. I was desperate to get any work experience really so I took the job without realising I couldn't get there on time on a Sunday for 10am as it was a way away from my house. I used to work 1pm til 3pm on a Saturday which was fine, I was on my own too. On a Sunday though, buses didn't start til 9.18am or something and I had to catch two buses in half an hour. Most of the time I missed the second one and had to spend a quarter of my wages just getting a taxi there. Then I had to work with my ***** of a boss who shouted at me in front of other staff and customers, threatened to sack me because I texted her whilst she was on holiday and had a go at me if I was 5 minutes being schedule. Even the other cleaner told me behind her back that she couldn't believe the way she spoke to me. I had to clean toilets as well and I'm sure that's what made me really ill one time.
My dad saw how much I hated it and told me I could help him pack up after his gigs and clean his house for the same amount of money so I quit after 5 months and I've just found another job which I start on Friday! I haven't mentioned the cleaning job and I just hope this one goes alright. Could your parents not do something similar? I would start applying for other part time jobs even if you have to stay there in the meantime. Where abouts do you live OP?
- 10-08-2009 14:27
thanks alot guys. The problem i have if I quit is that I have a horse to pay for, and my parents are struggling financially, so my horse would probably be sold if I couldn't fund him.
- 10-08-2009 14:34
Quit once you've found a new job.
- 10-08-2009 15:33
quit straight away, report the manager - doesn't sound like a great working environment if he's shouting at you and allowing people to laugh at you. I'm no lawyer but I'm pretty sure he can be done for that.
Then see a doctor about anxiety. You must do this if it's ruining your life.
- 10-08-2009 16:55
I'm really sorry to hear about your predicament. I know part-time jobs aren't always supposed to be a bundle of joy, but it sounds as though you're having a really rough time of things. I'm in a similar situation to you at the moment,
I work once a week at a cafe with 2 other girls, 2 chefs and the manager. The manager once shouted at me in front of everybody and told me I "needed to stop making mistakes" when I was fairly new there and had made one or two trivial errors.
When a colleague asked me to go and fetch something, the manager exclaimed, "Ask somebody else, she won't find it." And not even in a jokey way. The other 2 girls there don't speak to me unless absolutely necessary, e.g. telling me what to do, and they talk about me behind my back to the rest of the staff. One girl accidentally whacked me on the head with a bucket last week, it hurt a lot, and didn't even apologise.
I've been there over a year and these 2 girls try to make me out to be rubbish at my job. I'm going to university this September, and thank god only have around 4 shifts left before I can leave.
Now that i've left school, they know that i'm available to work as many shifts as possible, but not a single other shift has been given to me, only the other girls are given them.
I sometimes worry that they're going to sack me, and i'm still there because I haven't found another job yet. I too need the money, so am not in a position to be able to quit just yet.
I've suffered a loss of confidence, anxiety and depression due to this job. At the end of one shift, I went straight to the supermarket, bought a bag of 5 giant cookies and ate them all on the way home.
It's unfortunate that you're in need of the money, but i'm sure there will be a job somewhere for you. Ask your friends if they know of any job vacancies, hand in application forms and cvs everywhere you can think of, and somewhere will definitely come up.
Keep checking on your local job centre website for vacancies for your area, and remember, at the end of the day, this is not your career, you don't have to be in it for the rest of your life, it's only for the money.
Perhaps have a quiet word with the boss, tell him you didn't appreciate being spoken to in that manner, and as for your Dad, explain that you are trying your hardest to look for another job, and also how stressed and down your current job is making you feel, and why.
Visit the doctor and they'll be able to give you medication and/or offer counselling to help you cope with your anxiety and depression. Don't let colleagues belittle you, act as though they're better at their job than you are, and i'm sure you are very good at your job if you've been there for a year.
Keep your head held high, act confident even if you aren't feeling it, and try your best. Good luck, and the situation can only get better.
- 10-08-2009 16:58
thanks guys - anon im sorry to hear about that
- 10-08-2009 17:02
just quit your job and try and get a new one (preferably get the new one before quitting your waitressing job )
(Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
- 10-08-2009 17:11
Sigh. Go hide in a corner forever, you obviously can't cope with the real World.
Go and watch Disney, hopefully the bunny wabbits won't scare you.
- 11-08-2009 21:00
sorry to bump this guys but im just wondering what you think. Im supposed to be working on saturday, but im feeling really stressed out atm for other reasons. Im thinking that going to work stressed and then add the anxiety on top will make it worse and ill probably underperform again...should i ring in sick?
- 11-08-2009 21:09
OP, i'm going through the same thing at the moment, my manager isolates and embarasses me all the time but i'm leaving next month so i just think to myself that it's not gonna be forever and try to keep out of her way.
Obvious the situation is different for you as you are going to Uni in 2010, i agree with other posters and think you should keep an eye out for another job. Check out the Job Centre website, www.inretail.co.uk and www.retailchoice.com if your looking for retail jobs.
I hope everything gets better for you, keep your head up! xx
(Original post by Luca118)
- 11-08-2009 23:23
Hmm, if you really do have to stick at it, here's a few tips.
Firstly, make an effort to talk to people, your colleagues is always a good place to start.. I worked an 8 hour shift today after 3 hours sleep, the last thing I did was want to talk, but the banter, and generally having someone to talk to while working makes things go quicker, and it will relax you.
You have no reason to be worried when you approach a customer, if you don't know the answer just say you don't know, and you'll have to ask another member of staff, no shame in that.
You say you don't want to quite because of your dad and the whole failure thing, well think about it, to get ANYWHERE in life, you need to be able to interact with other people with a small amount of confidence, what's going to happen at interviews for your Uni?
I wait tables, I don't really enjoy it, I'd rather be out back chilling with the chefs and washing up, but when it comes to it, I know I have a crap telephone manner, and generally with customers as I don't speak that clearly, instead of worrying of looking like an idiot, I just treat it as an experience, I come across all chirpy, make sure I'm talking clearly and I'm just to the point, the customers and your colleagues are only human.
This job, is the step between College/School and Uni, treat it as a new learning oppurtunity, where you can build up the way you come across to people, and seem more confident, let's be honest, if you work on it, come interviews etc, you are going to be breezing them.
Trust me, give it a shot, and seriously, don't care what other people think or say, be completely self-centred and use your job as an opportunity to develop yourself!
- 11-08-2009 23:38
thanks guys x
- 12-08-2009 07:39
You're on track for a complete nervous breakdown, seriously you need to quit your job and have a serious talk with your parents or that first year of uni is not gonna happen. On the plus side you've looked for advice which is always a good first step, now you need to be honest and do what you think is best for you not your parents.
Parents sometimes go too far, my parents nearly pushed me into studying engineering which i would have hated now that i've seen the course. In the end i chose computer science which left my parents fuming but if you stick to your guns and really mean it your parents will understand you quitting your job.
Work hard, play harder
- 12-08-2009 08:28
If you're suffering anxiety, stuttering and having mind-blanks... try learning and rehearsing your lines. That'll also give you the confidence to help things run smoother, which'll make everyone take you more seriously.
- 12-08-2009 09:42
Waitressing is quite the stressful job, I used to dread it all week before my weekend work :/ but then as soon as I got there is was fine again, chatting to my colleges, and customers and making the most of it. Try and make friends with your co-workers, having someone to chat to whilst you work (although remember work coems first :P) can really make it less stressful, and makes time go faster. And if you really hate it, look for another job whilst you are still in this one.
- 12-08-2009 13:35
thanks guys. i still dont know whether to go to work on sat (see above) or not...
- 12-08-2009 19:39
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 12-08-2009 22:54
thanks guys. i still dont know whether to go to work on sat (see above) or not...
Have you spoken to your Dad yet? Does he know that your manager made you cry in front of everyone and people actually laughed. He sounds like a crap manager and a bully.
I guess it comes down to a choice between your horse and mental health. I think you should pack it in all together personally. I mean, its a part-time job, so your not getting paid loads and its not your career so why put so much stress on yourself. No one deserves being treated that way.
Go and apply to loads of temping agencies and there's always the dole to see you over. £50.50 a week isn't that bad.
- 13-08-2009 13:32