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How long to wait before sexual intercourse

Been going out with this girl for like nearly a month, it is not serious just kinda like dating I guess... I've kinda reached second base with her but not really if you know what I mean

But I keep getting mixed signals, like she will grind against me when we make out but will stop me if I try to go anywhere (seems like she's getting off but i'm not getting anything lol)

So I guess what I am asking is how long did it take for everyone else?... She knows how I feel so I guess it is up to her.

Reply 1

englishrose

1

I think it depends on how sexually experienced you both are, and personal preference really. But if you can't be open with her about it, then I'd say you're not ready for sex yet.

Reply 2

Naxalite

OP

I guess you are right, she is not experienced and nor am I so best bet would be to let her decide when the time is right

Reply 3

ruthiepoothie

11

Naxalite

Been going out with this girl for like nearly a month, it is not serious just kinda like dating I guess... I've kinda reached second base with her but not really if you know what I mean

But I keep getting mixed signals, like she will grind against me when we make out but will stop me if I try to go anywhere (seems like she's getting off but i'm not getting anything lol)

So I guess what I am asking is how long did it take for everyone else?... She knows how I feel so I guess it is up to her.

Well, this probably isn't going to make you feel much better, but it took me 2.5 years to sleep with my ex-bf (that was my first time)...but I hope I reassure you when I say most people don't take that long!! :smile:

Just be patient and I'm sure that as soon as she feels ready things will just happen naturally :smile:

Ruthie xx

Reply 4

englishrose

1

Naxalite

I guess you are right, she is not experienced and nor am I so best bet would be to let her decide when the time is right

Definately. If you feel ready and she doesn't, then there's not much you can do except wait. It's possible that she's just not very confident due to her lack of experience. And I agree with Ruthie - things should just happen naturally. I was with my ex for 4 months, and we didn't sleep together. But there was no pressure to, I felt, it just wasn't something we were quite ready for, and anything that did happen did so naturally.

Reply 5

SB

2

If she doesn't feel ready there's nothing you can do, don't pressure her and let her take her time.
It'll be so much better when it finally happens if you're both comfortable with what's happening.

Reply 6

blissy

15

*isn't much of a waiter* :redface:

But how about talking about it in a nice roundabout way (rather than pressuring her). Just say perhaps you'd like to go further - broach the subject when you're NOT intending to do anything or it might come across as bullying if you ask while you're getting down to it.

Reply 7

clairey87

1

Yes find out how she feels about it....my boyfriend and I spoke about it, found out where we stood and felt so much better for it.x x x

Reply 8

soilman

12

it should just be when you are both ready, there should be no time scale.

Reply 9

grace

15

tell her you know how much she's dying to sleep with you, but unfortunately you're just not ready and if she really loves you she'll wait until you're comfortable with having sex...if she thinks you don't want to sleep with her she'll be dying to get in your pants :biggrin:

Reply 10

Lauren18

14

From personal experience, I'd say wait until you're sure. I didn't, and I've just been hurt by the one person I gave everything to. I wish I'd listened to the people who said 'make him wait (in your case her) to prove to yourself that he's not just after one thing' - instead I believed him when he said 'I love you more than I've ever loved anyone' - and now I know exactly what his motives were. Don't underestimate how much some people can bullsh*t.

Anyway, I hope you're relationship works out better than mine, which is now stuck in a rut! x x x

Reply 11

Adhsur

15

ruthiepoothie

I hope I reassure you when I say most people don't take that long!! :smile:

Lol! Some do, and sometimes longer ! :biggrin:

Reply 12

kingslaw

14

You should wait until the "no's" become "yes" :smile:

Unless you don't want your soul to burn in hell, in which case you should wait until you're married.

Reply 13

viviki

14

it depends on the girl sorry not much use but don't rush her because if you do she will resent you for it.
I tend to wait a month or so and then I either sleep with them or ditch them because I know whether I've got a connection with them by then.

Reply 14

spoonofdeath

grace

tell her you know how much she's dying to sleep with you, but unfortunately you're just not ready and if she really loves you she'll wait until you're comfortable with having sex...if she thinks you don't want to sleep with her she'll be dying to get in your pants :biggrin:

haha I say try it! People say if you can't talk about it you're not ready and this is probably usually true, but we my ex were never good at talking about it even after 2 years of having sex, so meh. Though we had sex before we even started going out... that may have something to do with it now that I think about it :/.

Reply 15

Herleif

i had a girl like that once. Annoyed the hell oit of me. Gods sake, make your minds up women !!

Reply 16

Hana_87

16

I wasnt ready to sleep with my boyfriend (and loose my virginity) for 6 months.

Reply 17

Monkey_Maiden

11

3 months in my case, boyfriend wanted to wait so i felt guilty pestering him lol but finally he caved in.

Reply 18

Da Bachtopus

12

To calculate the appropriate amount of time to delay sexual intercourse you must first work out your Pilkins-Klein Ratio.

PKR = ln[(sum of both body mass indexes) / (difference of eye colours)]

Simply read the result off the attached chart!

Da Bachtopus

To calculate the appropriate amount of time to delay sexual intercourse you must first work out your Pilkins-Klein Ratio.

PKR = ln[(sum of both body mass indexes) / (difference of eye colours)]

Simply read the result off the attached chart!

How long to wait before sexual intercourse

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