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    This has been one of the worst summers I've ever had. Although to be honest none of them were ever that good, but at least I had the luxury of not being FLAT BROKE and having one or two so-called friends so I didn't spend everyday inside.

    My birthday is coming up soon, I have no money, no boyfriend and I actually no longer have any friends. I really don't want to spend the whole of August/September indoors too. For no reason other than growing apart and having different interests, I no longer see any of my old friends, people I had been hanging around with for 4-5 years. It's awkward even spending a few hours with them.

    I know it's easy to say just wait until uni because there'll be alot more opportunities, but I'm going up north for uni and I live in London, so it would actually be nice to have friends to come home to. And anyway, I have a feeling if I don't start making an effort now, I'm just going to carry on this antisocial behaviour into uni.

    Any suggestions of what I can do/where I can go? Like I said I have no money, no job (not for lack of trying I mean today I had an interview and I couldn't even afford the train fare to get up there and I had nobody to borrow from ). I don't really drink or smoke so obviously going to pubs and bars isn't really my scene, and I'm definitely not a club/rave kind of person. I just want to make some friends to chill with, watch dvds, go cinema, to the park/concerts or whatever. I'm sick of sitting indoors and coming on TSR when outside it's sunny and everybody else is out there having a gay ol' time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This has been one of the worst summers I've ever had. Although to be honest none of them were ever that good, but at least I had the luxury of not being FLAT BROKE and having one or two so-called friends so I didn't spend everyday inside.

    My birthday is coming up soon, I have no money, no boyfriend and I actually no longer have any friends. I really don't want to spend the whole of August/September indoors too. For no reason other than growing apart and having different interests, I no longer see any of my old friends, people I had been hanging around with for 4-5 years. It's awkward even spending a few hours with them.

    I know it's easy to say just wait until uni because there'll be alot more opportunities, but I'm going up north for uni and I live in London, so it would actually be nice to have friends to come home to. And anyway, I have a feeling if I don't start making an effort now, I'm just going to carry on this antisocial behaviour into uni.

    Any suggestions of what I can do/where I can go? Like I said I have no money, no job (not for lack of trying I mean today I had an interview and I couldn't even afford the train fare to get up there and I had nobody to borrow from ). I don't really drink or smoke so obviously going to pubs and bars isn't really my scene, and I'm definitely not a club/rave kind of person. I just want to make some friends to chill with, watch dvds, go cinema, to the park/concerts or whatever. I'm sick of sitting indoors and coming on TSR when outside it's sunny and everybody else is out there having a gay ol' time.
    drink and start going to pubs/bars
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    You sound exactly like me OP, but its great that you're trying to make the effort. Good luck to you
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    (Original post by lm_wfc)
    drink and start going to pubs/bars
    I'm not going to start drinking just to make more friends. I don't like the effect drink has on me.
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    (Original post by lm_wfc)
    drink and start going to pubs/bars
    Like my sack you piece of ****.
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    You can go to pubs without drinking, you know? A good way to meet people is to sit around near the pool table and just play winner stays on, you have to talk them then :p:
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    (Original post by ChunkymunkyDJC)
    You can go to pubs without drinking, you know? A good way to meet people is to sit around near the pool table and just play winner stays on, you have to talk them then :p:
    I suppose that's true, but I guess I also don't like being around drunk people either (I'm going to fit in sooo well at uni). Even still, I'd be willing to go to a pub/bar if I had someone to go with. I really can't bring myself to go to a pub and sit down by myself when I don't even have alcohol as an ice-breaker.

    And as for games like pool! Lol! :nah: I'm a really sore loser- I don't make a good game at all. That would probably put people off me even more.
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    (Original post by ChunkymunkyDJC)
    You can go to pubs without drinking, you know? A good way to meet people is to sit around near the pool table and just play winner stays on, you have to talk them then :p:
    Nice idea, but it's hard to go into a pub/bar completely on your own...unless you're ridiculously confident and make friends insanely easily.

    OP, try getting jobs a bit closer to home? Or ask your parents to borrow a little bit of cash? Let them know how much a job would mean to you, a train ticket isn't THAT much, especially if you have a railcard. Because honestly that is the best way to make friends.

    How come it's awkward with your friends, if you've been friends throughout school? Have you tried getting in contact with them and meeting up this summer? Might not be as bad as you think, and even if things are a bit wooden between you, going out together and meeting other people means you'll be able to make friends more easily.

    If nothing works out, then all I can say is the cliched - you'll make friends at uni! And loads of students at northern unis come from London and the South so even back in the holidays you can still meet up with uni friends (some of my friends went to boarding school and live in the middle of nowhere, and just spend their summers staying around at friends' houses touring the country!)

    Either that, or get a job sorted for Xmas holidays EARLY. And for next summer...get a summer job abroad or something! That's what I would do.

    Anyway good luck, try to not get bogged down. I know it sucks on your birthday to not have any friends around to help you celebrate, but don't let it get you down...after all it is only a day. Keep trying to get jobs, get around those parents!!

    Hugs!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I suppose that's true, but I guess I also don't like being around drunk people either (I'm going to fit in sooo well at uni). Even still, I'd be willing to go to a pub/bar if I had someone to go with. I really can't bring myself to go to a pub and sit down by myself when I don't even have alcohol as an ice-breaker.

    And as for games like pool! Lol! :nah: I'm a really sore loser- I don't make a good game at all. That would probably put people off me even more.

    (I'm going to assume you are a girl for this paragraph)


    Better way to do it then is to try and get a job at a pub; girls who work at pubs get ridiculous amount of friends, if you talk that is.

    I know you said you can't get a job anywhere, but pubs love to hire women - even if it is only 1 shift a week. They bring in the doe.

    If you do get a job at a pub then brush up on football, men would absolutely bum you if you could talk a bit of footy with them (+ big tips) and in your breaks play pool or something.

    The girls at my local have an army of guys who would kick 10 shades out of any guy who said something they didn't like. :yes:

    (If you are a guy)

    Do exactly the same as above, except it may be harder to get a pub job.
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    (Original post by Purple Rain)
    Nice idea, but it's hard to go into a pub/bar completely on your own...unless you're ridiculously confident and make friends insanely easily.

    OP, try getting jobs a bit closer to home? Or ask your parents to borrow a little bit of cash? Let them know how much a job would mean to you, a train ticket isn't THAT much, especially if you have a railcard. Because honestly that is the best way to make friends.

    How come it's awkward with your friends, if you've been friends throughout school? Have you tried getting in contact with them and meeting up this summer? Might not be as bad as you think, and even if things are a bit wooden between you, going out together and meeting other people means you'll be able to make friends more easily.

    If nothing works out, then all I can say is the cliched - you'll make friends at uni! And loads of students at northern unis come from London and the South so even back in the holidays you can still meet up with uni friends (some of my friends went to boarding school and live in the middle of nowhere, and just spend their summers staying around at friends' houses touring the country!)

    Either that, or get a job sorted for Xmas holidays EARLY. And for next summer...get a summer job abroad or something! That's what I would do.

    Anyway good luck, try to not get bogged down. I know it sucks on your birthday to not have any friends around to help you celebrate, but don't let it get you down...after all it is only a day. Keep trying to get jobs, get around those parents!!

    Hugs!
    Thank you, that was really useful. Unfortunately I can't rely on either of my parents for money. I don't see my dad and my mum is too ill to work. It is ridiculous because the train fare was only the price of a Peak London underground travelcard but I seriously couldn't afford it and then sod's law I couldn't even access my account to go into emergency overdraft due to some problem with the bank.

    I've been looking all summer for job but obviously it's really hard at the moment and none of them are really offering the flexibility I need as a student to transfer between holidays and term-time and stuff.

    The main reason why me and my friends are no longer friends is once again all to do with drink and alcohol. Almost every time we get together it's to have a "drink-up" and when I stopped drinking like that they took it to mean that I thought I was too good for them. We used to be a group of 3 but my two "best friends" started leaving me out of things and going off to do stuff on their own. I always feel like the odd one out especially since they are really bubbly and pretty and I think I'm hideous and awkward. When we're in the room together, we have nothing to talk about because they have all these new friends and memories together and all I can talk about is stuff that happened 2 or 3 years ago.

    I am hoping to go abroad next summer and do Camp America or something... but that's a year away! I suppose this is just going to be another birthday spent on my own... I know my family won't have planned anything.

    Thanks for your reply... I guess I'll have to just keep reminding myself that it's only a few weeks until university starts!
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    (Original post by ChunkymunkyDJC)

    (I'm going to assume you are a girl for this paragraph)


    Better way to do it then is to try and get a job at a pub; girls who work at pubs get ridiculous amount of friends, if you talk that is.

    I know you said you can't get a job anywhere, but pubs love to hire women - even if it is only 1 shift a week. They bring in the doe.

    If you do get a job at a pub then brush up on football, men would absolutely bum you if you could talk a bit of footy with them (+ big tips) and in your breaks play pool or something.

    The girls at my local have an army of guys who would kick 10 shades out of any guy who said something they didn't like. :yes:

    (If you are a guy)

    Do exactly the same as above, except it may be harder to get a pub job.
    I am a girl

    I have actually tried pub jobs, to no avail. I'm not really the kind of girl that would pull in more customers. I've been on interviews at the local Wetherspoons/Walkabouts... both times the interviewer just looked at me like I was something the cat dragged in. One started making all these excuses about how he wasn't even sure if there was actually a position/vacancy going after all- before we had even started the interview!
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    aww if you lived anywhere near me, i would have come and played with you
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    (Original post by BillyPilgrim)
    Like my sack you piece of ****.
    bit strong?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you, that was really useful. Unfortunately I can't rely on either of my parents for money. I don't see my dad and my mum is too ill to work. It is ridiculous because the train fare was only the price of a Peak London underground travelcard but I seriously couldn't afford it and then sod's law I couldn't even access my account to go into emergency overdraft due to some problem with the bank.

    I've been looking all summer for job but obviously it's really hard at the moment and none of them are really offering the flexibility I need as a student to transfer between holidays and term-time and stuff.

    The main reason why me and my friends are no longer friends is once again all to do with drink and alcohol. Almost every time we get together it's to have a "drink-up" and when I stopped drinking like that they took it to mean that I thought I was too good for them. We used to be a group of 3 but my two "best friends" started leaving me out of things and going off to do stuff on their own. I always feel like the odd one out especially since they are really bubbly and pretty and I think I'm hideous and awkward. When we're in the room together, we have nothing to talk about because they have all these new friends and memories together and all I can talk about is stuff that happened 2 or 3 years ago.

    I am hoping to go abroad next summer and do Camp America or something... but that's a year away! I suppose this is just going to be another birthday spent on my own... I know my family won't have planned anything.

    Thanks for your reply... I guess I'll have to just keep reminding myself that it's only a few weeks until university starts!
    Aw, OP!! That nearly brought a tear to my eye. Where do you live, exactly? And when is your birthday?
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    Am having the same problem and have to wait til next sep for uni. The wait is too long..
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    (Original post by Purple Rain)
    Aw, OP!! That nearly brought a tear to my eye. Where do you live, exactly? And when is your birthday?
    Me too!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This has been one of the worst summers I've ever had. Although to be honest none of them were ever that good, but at least I had the luxury of not being FLAT BROKE and having one or two so-called friends so I didn't spend everyday inside.

    My birthday is coming up soon, I have no money, no boyfriend and I actually no longer have any friends. I really don't want to spend the whole of August/September indoors too. For no reason other than growing apart and having different interests, I no longer see any of my old friends, people I had been hanging around with for 4-5 years. It's awkward even spending a few hours with them.

    I know it's easy to say just wait until uni because there'll be alot more opportunities, but I'm going up north for uni and I live in London, so it would actually be nice to have friends to come home to. And anyway, I have a feeling if I don't start making an effort now, I'm just going to carry on this antisocial behaviour into uni.

    Any suggestions of what I can do/where I can go? Like I said I have no money, no job (not for lack of trying I mean today I had an interview and I couldn't even afford the train fare to get up there and I had nobody to borrow from ). I don't really drink or smoke so obviously going to pubs and bars isn't really my scene, and I'm definitely not a club/rave kind of person. I just want to make some friends to chill with, watch dvds, go cinema, to the park/concerts or whatever. I'm sick of sitting indoors and coming on TSR when outside it's sunny and everybody else is out there having a gay ol' time.

    Hey, you don't make best friends overnight and it's going to take a bit of effort on your part to go out and start meeting new people.

    You need to find a bit of purpose in your life so if you don't want to be stuck indoors all summer why don't you start volunteering somewhere?
    You'll meet all types of people. http://www.vinspired.com/.

    Is there a local youth centre that you get involved with as a helper?

    I'm sure you'll be fine at uni as you will meet loads of different people and just be outgoing and sociabl and you will be fine.

    Good luck
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    Hey OP, i'm kinda in the same situation as you.

    I love socialising! i literally have no friends in my area, i come home from uni & i get so bored and feel low because i literally don't do anything, or anyone to even talk to.

    There's one girl I met up with, she is nice but after 45mins i get soo bored with hanging out with her, maybe we just don't click. We rarely meet up anyway.

    Also, there are no jobs going in my area...so no interaction there either...it's so annoying isn't it. I've still got 2 months of summer left and i haven't socialised at all.

    I'm not sure what to do anymore, maybe you could start a hobby/join a club..which doesn't involve too much money, but still involves interacting with people.

    I don't know if your into church, but they have plenty of youth groups in which you don't necessarily need to be 'christian' to join in.
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    I could have written that OP, lol. Continuing my run of completely ******* rubbish H&R posts, I've basically given up. Alright, I haven't completely but:

    I asked a mate if she wanted to do something and she never got back to me saying when she was free
    I got invited to something and the date was moved to a day I'M ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING which is already paid for
    I just asked another mate what she's doing but I guess she won't bother replying either.

    Anyway it just depresses me going out with people ANYWAY because I'm practically defined by my worthlessness and making an attempt to be less worthless just underlines how worthless I am. Anyway good luck. Maybe I'll try any decent suggestions that come along (but I probably won't).
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    Thanks for your responses. I'll try and reply to them all.

    I live in Croydon and my birthday is on the 22nd... I'm going to be 20 which does amplify how I'm feeling because it's like I've reached the end of my teens and I have nothing to show for it. I was expecting miracles, but if I look back and think about it I never thought I'd be alone like this.

    To be honest I have never considered volunteering but I will definitely look into it. I'm not looking to make best friends overnight at all, I just want to know how I can go about finding the opportunities to make friends. But like you've said, volunteering is certainly one option.

    I used to be apart of a church when I was younger, and a youth group there and I must admit it was a lot of fun but they don't really cater for young adults. And as I'm not particularly religious anymore I guess that's not the place where I'm going to make friends now.

    Ermm. I think I'm going to just have a long sleep and stop thinking about this for now, because the more I think about it the worse I feel and I'm pretty sure I'm getting indulgent which is why I never really tell anybody how I'm feeling.

    I will be randomly repping a few of you during the week for e-lending me your ears
 
 
 
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